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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I have been married to my love for the last 20 years and have a 15 yr old son. I had a restaurant for 3 years and had got attracted to the executive chef who later became a partner in my restaurant. He is not married. During these years and from before that my married life had been very depressing. My husband stays abroad for work and even when he comes we do not gel because we have been living away for too long. We don’t relate to each other any more. We also do not have a sex life during the time I had my restaurant. The chef knows all about my family and often have visited and partied with my husband too. We have crossed the line and have still been in love for the last 4 yrs. He is unmarried and is much younger to me but he is fully committed to me. I can’t understand what to do. Please guide.

Ans: hello there,
It sounds like you are in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. Infidelity and emotional involvement with someone outside of your marriage can be difficult to navigate Decisions about relationships and marriages are significant and often take time. Avoid making impulsive decisions and give yourself the time needed to carefully consider your options.Take into account the impact of your decisions on your son. Children can be profoundly affected by changes in their parents' relationship. Ensure that any decisions made consider his well-being Reflect on what you want for your future. Do you want to work on your marriage, or do you feel that it's irreparable? Make decisions based on what aligns with your values and long-term goals. Assess your relationship with the chef. Consider the potential consequences of continuing this relationship, especially given your commitment to your husband. Understand the impact it may have on all parties involved Open and honest communication is crucial. If you haven't already, have a frank conversation with your husband about your feelings, the state of your marriage, and any areas that need improvement. This may be a difficult conversation, but it's an essential step in understanding each other's perspectives.

All the best.

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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear LG, Please keep this anonymous. I have been married since 6 years. However, since past 5+ years we have not been intimate. We haave a 5&1/2 year kid. Since his birth we have had a lot of differences and his family interference was lot leaving me alone and wounded. I don't stay with my husband and in-laws since then. I had made up that work is worship. But 2 years back I met a colleague. He is 10 years younger to me and we have extremely similar vibes. We enjoy each other's company and cared a lot. Eventually i fell in love with him. But he always knew he wont be able to go against his family. We also had relationship. Now he has strated looking for girls and wants us to stop being intimate. He is saying he wants to be friends and not loose me but not have relationship. We both work together in same space and our area of work is also same. I am unable to forgive my husband and forget this person. He never goes away. He is always there telling that I want to see you happy. He needs me for professional development. And i am not able to loose our relationship. He says physical intimacy only I cant have remaining Im there. Then again says I don’t know when I will be there so I am unable to give assurance or promise. I am tormented with a child, work and my health is getting affected. Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu ji. I am 27 years old, I like a married man for past 2 years who is my colleague. He is has a 6-7 years son and a new born daughter. I never planned to tell him about my feelings not knowing he too has same feelings for me one day after getting drunk we kind of confessed and slowly came in relationship. We both love each other a lot but the thing is we can never be together. I am unable to bear this pain and I keep arguing over this with again and again and decided to break it off. He is too emotional and unable to bear this pain. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to express all of our feelings and situation here. Please advise
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This relationship is a complex one and will become complicated very soon as it progresses...He will never want to leave his family and why should he? That will hurt you and make things very stressful on you...
Kindly talk about this when you are sane and not in a 'drunken' state. Nothing said in a state of inebriation matter much as when the intoxication wears off, people act all ignorant. So don not give it the importance that you are currently.
So, have a conversation knowing very well that there is a family that he is in and is responsible for and for him that will always be a priority and over a period of time will anger and hurt you.
So, get down to realism away from this fantasy world that you both are in and discuss it practically as adults in a sober state. A lot of revelations will leave you both with a good perspective on what the future can and will be.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025
Relationship
Hi i am a married woman aged 45 years, i am happily married and have a loving husband. My husband travels a lot due to work and my son is studying in college in Pune. Everything was going fine in my life, but few months back a MBA graduate boy 23 years joined our office in my team. He had to report to me, and our company send us for sales corporatemeetings to Mumbai and other cities often. Gradually we became close and he confessed he had a crush on me. I was falttered but told him i am much older and married. Although i was very flattered that he found me attractive. I am tall 5ft 7 inches and kept myself very fit and always men keep hitting on me but i always ignore them. On our last trip together we went for a meal and had a few drinks together. Then i told him i was sleepy and needed to go to my room. He accompanied to my room and had a coffee. I had a bavk ache and he said he can massage me for 5 mins. I hesitantly agreed during the massage one thing led to another and we had sex and since then we have started having sex whenever we travel togther often. He says he truly loves me but for next 5 years he cannot marry anyone. I have now started loving him a lot i often fight with my husband. I want to continue this affair but am afraid if my husband finds out or if people in office come to know. Strangely another young man in office has starterd showing interest in me and asked me out for a coffee. He also says he likes me a lot anf is caring, I am confused shall i also go for a simple coffee. what if my husband or younger boyfriend find out. Is what i am doing wrong, i just want to live my life fully am i wrong ???
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you do not have an open marriage, then what you are doing is certainly wrong. When has cheating ever been right? Especially when you did not mention anything wrong with your husband. I am not judging you; but I would suggest that if you want to keep this up, you either come clean to your husband or let him go. This isn't fair. You living your life to the fullest should not harm or hurt others.
Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1841 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

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