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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Oct 03, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru 
I am 4 ft 8 inches, age 27 yrs and I work in the admin department of a leading MNC. I am the only daughter to my parents and they want me to get married soon. So far I have rejected at least 15 men because they are either too elder to me or have unreasonable expectations from me as a future wife. An equal number of them have rejected me because I am short and earn less than Rs 30,000 per month. I don't have a boyfriend either. My parents are getting worried and I am feeling depressed and hopeless. I don't know what to do. Pls help. 

Ans:

If you think you're feeling depressed and hopeless now, just because you haven't found someone at 27, wait till you're trapped in an unhappy marriage with someone because you were in such a silly rush to get hitched!

Unreasonable expectations from a wife I can understand, but age is just a number. So, if you're attracted to someone, don't consider age enough of a reason to turn him down unless he's some 60-year-old uncle that wears a toupee. It's as superficial as someone turning you down because you're so short.

I would suggest you get off this fast train you're on and just take things slowly.

People today think nothing of getting married at 35 and having kids at 40; you have a long way to go still!

I know more than a couple of women who rushed into marriage for the same reasons as you -- they thought they were aging, other friends were getting married, they wanted to settle down like everyone else, etc. They got divorced eventually and remarried. In their 30s!

 

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Ans: Dear Ajay,
I appreciate that you care for your parents and are truly willing to be there for them. But, if it has begun to affect the course of your life, you must ask yourself: What can I do where I can care for my parents and also make a life for myself?
Most often we get stuck in a problem, thinking that there are no solutions. There are no solutions because we fail to ask ourselves the right questions which enable us to look for solutions.
You do not have to sacrifice your life to care for your parents and at the same time, you are right that in this day and age, not every woman wants to live in a joint family system.
Know this as a fact and now ACT.
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3. What will stop me from building my personal life?

Answer these in all honesty and tell yourself: Anything is possible as long as I put my mind to it!
Also take solace in the fact that your parents also want to see you happy. Who knows; if you sat them down and actually told them of your dilemma, they might be able to support you as well...

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Ans: Dear Shashank,

If you have been straightforward about your feelings for this woman and expressed the same and yet she has never reciprocated it even once so far, it might be because she does not feel the same about it. I'd suggest you talk to her about this. Instead of leaving it open-ended, like "I like you," and letting her react to it, be direct. For instance, "I like you. What about you? Do you like me?" Being direct would definitively fetch you some real answers. If she replies to your question, there you go; you have your answer. If she ignores it still, you can safely assume that she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Don't delay this; ask her as soon as possible. Stretching a relationship that ultimately leads to a dead-end will harm your peace and happiness in the longer run.
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I can understand that you have got two issues primarily. First, you need to get a job and secondly is to get married along with taking care of your parents. You can look for jobs through job portals and look for match through various matrimony portals and marriage bureaus. If you do this consistently for a few months, you are bound to succeed.
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My boyfriend tells about us to his parents his parents rejected our relationship due to intercaste and they also stop talking to him it's been 4 months his mother don't talk to him .He is in navy . And they also started searching girl for him . He want to maintain distance from me he is not happy he is stressed as his own parents are not talking to him And also maintaining distance to me he talks to me me but just because I can't live without him but he changes in behaviour what to do
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I am sorry that you are in this situation. First of all, please try to look at it from your partner's perspective. It isn't easy to confront your parents and it's even harder when they stop communicating altogether. Having said that, I also understand how it is for you. It is not fair, especially in today's day and age, to face discrimination based on caste.

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Hi sir, i have total 10k for investment of which I'm currently investing 7000rs in icici prudential nifty 50 index fund for 15-20 years, and ready to put 2000 rs for investment.My goals is to earn a cagr of more than 15 percent with 10 k for 15-20 years with little risk. Also suggest some term insurance without good claim settlement ratio and coverage upto 1cr
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Given your investment amount and goals, here are some suggestions:

Investment Strategy:

Additional SIP:
Invest the additional ?2,000 in a diversified equity mutual fund to balance your portfolio.
Choose a fund with a track record of consistent performance and a lower expense ratio.
Goal of 15% CAGR:
While aiming for a CAGR of 15% is ambitious, it's crucial to understand that higher returns generally come with higher risks.
Opt for a combination of equity and debt funds to balance risk and return.
Consider small-cap or mid-cap funds for higher growth potential, but be prepared for increased volatility.
Term Insurance:

Coverage of ?1 Crore:
You can consider term insurance plans from reputable insurers that offer coverage up to ?1 crore.
Compare premium rates, features, and claim settlement ratios before choosing a plan.
Claim Settlement Ratio:
Look for insurers with a high claim settlement ratio, indicating their reliability in settling claims.
Avoid insurers with a history of low claim settlement ratios or negative reviews.
Remember, while aiming for higher returns, it's essential to assess your risk tolerance and invest accordingly. Diversify your investments across asset classes and regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals and risk profile.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your needs and financial situation.
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SIP in Mutual Funds:
Allocate a portion of ?20,000 towards SIPs in mutual funds. Opt for diversified equity funds for long-term growth potential.
Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
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Create a separate fund or invest in child education-specific mutual funds or SIPs for your child's education.
Start a recurring deposit or systematic investment plan (SIP) to accumulate the desired amount by the time your child starts higher education.
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Set aside a portion of your monthly income for an emergency fund, aiming to accumulate 3-6 months' worth of expenses.
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Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage for yourself and your family to protect against unforeseen events.
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i have worked in 5 different companies from 1992 to 2012 and contributed to EPF and EPS. i have UAN number. Last company i worked and contributed to EPS was till aug2012, Now the company is closed the operation and not updated my service records from 1992.How to get it done? please guide.
Ans: To update your service records and correct the discrepancies in your EPF and EPS contributions, follow these steps:

UAN Portal Login:
Log in to the UAN (Universal Account Number) portal using your UAN and password.
Verify your personal details and check the service history available.
Contact Previous Employers:
Reach out to your previous employers from 1992 to 2012 to obtain your PF account number and passbook or statement.
Request them to update your exit date and contribution details if they haven't already.
EPFO Grievance Cell:
If your previous employers are unresponsive or the company is closed, raise a grievance on the EPFO (Employees' Provident Fund Organisation) portal.
Provide details like company name, dates of employment, and UAN for quicker resolution.
PF Regional Office:
Visit the nearest PF regional office with necessary documents like ID proof, service certificates, and bank passbook.
Submit a written request to update your service history and contributions.
Legal Assistance:
If the above steps don't yield results, consider seeking legal assistance to resolve the issue.
Regular Follow-up:
Follow up regularly with EPFO or the grievance cell for updates on your request.
Keep copies of all communication and documents for future reference.
Remember to keep your communication polite and professional, and maintain records of all interactions for documentation. It may take some time to resolve, but persistence should help you correct your service records and contributions.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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