Hello love guru.
AB this side. In 2019, I finally met the love of my life. The true love. My soul mate. He is everything a girl could ask for. And the best part is he also reciprocates the same. Despite the initial disapproval from my mom, I haven't given up yet (She rejected on the basis that he is my friend's relative and my mom doesn't like my friend that much). Also my friend never wanted me to be with him; thanks to their childhood banter. But you know love is love.
So in 2020, thanks to the pandemic, I had to quit my job and come back home. So my partner and I decided to prepare for UPSC and UGC NET respectively in order to win our families' approval for marriage. The actual problem is that he assigned me some note making work and I never completed it on time. I have done this twice. I feel bad and guilty. I feel like breaking up with him. Because of me, he is never able to get prepared for his exams. But he never wants to give up and encourages me to try one more time since he is preparing for 2023 exams. I do want to marry him but my demons are hovering over my future. I don't know what to do? What can be done in this situation? Please help me. Am I too late ? Or there is still some hope left?
Sincerely 
AB

I am 27 years old and I have been married for 3 months now. Married life is already suffocating me may be because I never wanted to get married in the first place. I knew my parents were not gonna let me be and will definitely get me married so I wanted to marry a guy of my choice at least (even if it is arranged marriage). Anyways I tried all that I can to avoid this marriage because I didn't like the way this guy talked about certain things and we had no similarities. Except for the fact that my parents knew their family and he was educated there was nothing I liked about him. I thought it was the right thing if my parent said that I wasn't interested in this proposal so I tried to make my parents understand. I tried to discuss, argued, cried, stopped eating, did everything I could to stop but they wouldn't budge. Turns out he had already given his word. My dad threatened me that he would take his own life if this marriage doesn't happen. My entire life, every single decision was taken by my dad. From college, BTech, basically everything. Since there was at least one thing that I gained out of his decision I didn't bother much. I gained a friend for life in my 12th standard and in BTech, I was able to meet lots of people and that to a certain extent changed my thought process. Other than that since I was 15 I never got to do anything I ever wanted to do. Well my dad's threat worked. I got married thinking maybe ... just may be there might be something that I might gain. My parents are in Hyderabad and my husband works in Bangalore. In the 3 months I lived with him, the first month it was just us and now my in laws stays with us. Every second made me anxious. I keep thinking..what if they say something if I use my phone or if I sit down or spend some time at the balcony. Apart from me being stressed, anxious and hating the situation I was in and losing lots and lots of hair, everything was fine. My husband was always working. He works everyday till 10 pm and after my in laws came he spends all the time with his mom. Well that didn't bother me, i just thought that he just loved his mom so much. Nobody said anything until the day I mentioned wanting to come home as I had some work at my previous office. Out of nowhere my mother-in-law mentions how I was not their 1st choice for their son. They had lots of proposals lined up but chose me because I am from Hyderabad even though I was fat and our family wasn't rich. I didn't think it was right to say anything to her so I didn't say a word. On the day I was travelling to Hyderabad, my husband complains how I don't do the household work as much or help my mother in law. he says I sleep a lot. He wants me to quit my job and sit at home. They have problem if I order clothes to where at home. I work night shift so I tend to sleep during the day but I make sure to help my mom in law to a certain extent. When it was just us in the 1st month it was me who did all the chores and I had to do WFH too. I made it very clear to him that I will not leave my job which he didn't like and he asks me not to return and just stay at my parent's place. I explained all this to my parents and they are trying to send me back as soon as possible. Everybody who got involved in this like my parents, the uncle who brought the proposal says that it is my responsibility to change my husband. I don't see how I can change a person who thinks that everything he does is right and it is wife's responsibility to initiate a conversation even if husband doesn't and he has his entire family backing him on this. I cant seem to change my mind or my parent's mind. I can't seem to make myself like my husband. At this rate I don't know if there is any future with him at all. I mean people who wants a maid and not a wife and who thinks this way and insults others.... I am not sure if they are gonna change. My parents want to force me into this just for the fear that I might be left alone in life and more importantly for the reputation of the family but they don't think that in this marriage I will for ever be anxious and unhappy. Please help and extremely sorry for the long letter.

 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.

Hi Anu I am 30 years old. I have done LLB and was not interested to practice in court so I tried to get a private job but I didn't get any. Then I decided to start preparing for a government job but I missed it. I started to doubt myself. I even had suicidal thoughts this was started when I was very little something happened to me when I was 16 since then I tried to kill myself and also tried to get involved with one of my friends in college. He liked me so much so we started having relationship. When intimacy started I became nervous and afraid. It is like itching. I want to run and hide in a safe place. He was very firm and honest and humble but didn't work out. After that so many proposals came. I declined. Now my family wants me to marry. I don't know if the husband would understand and give me some time to get involved with him. I don’t know what life after marriage would be. I am a girl with absolutely no achievement and am not proud of anything in my life. My parents are disappointed in me but they never show. What should I do? Pls do not disclose this

My career is very important for me and my parents but I'm not settled in my career. He says that after marriage you should do whatever you want ..he is there for me financially, emotionally and all ..but our online meeting is a major issue and also we have long distance relationship, age difference, caste difference and my career ... Even I have asthma , panic attacks and spinal surgery.. still he is with me.. But I am afraid of my parents..

Hello..I am 36 hrs old, a doctor, got married for 2nd time in Apr 2022. My 1st marriage was with a doctor in 2011 but we hardly stayed together for 1 month since he was away in another state for higher education. Indifference arose and we got separated soon after 6 months and got divorced 5 yrs later. Then i did job on off and finally finished my post graduation in 2024. During my post graduation i wanted to desperately get married for 2nd time as my age was increasing and i was feeling very lonely and wanted to settle down n have kids. I met a guy (he too a doctor and divorced) on matrimony. He approached me. We started talking, meeting. Everything was going good. But his mother was against our relationship. In between the guy too cut the contact with me. But i was wo trully in love with him that I wanted to marry him only. Somehow we got connected again. He came to my place and we lived together. He said he can't get married so soon. He said he would marry me only of i wl get pregnant.then i got pregnant and finally he married me in temple. Soon i delivered our child and his parent's accepted me n i went to his house to stay. There we used to have lots of fights as he revealed his true nature of being extremely KANJUS. his whole family was extremely kanjus. My husbnd doesn't like to spend a single Rs too and he doesn't like it if i spend my money too. We used to have frequent fights. Then hardly after 2 months, his mother called my parents and she told them that their sje could not tolerate me and i should leave tbeor house ASAP! I became very furious as my baby was jst 4 months old. Where would i stay alone with my child as i was studying. I called police to intervene and my mother in law got very angry, she cursed me in front of police- she called me a pros***ute. (This was her thinking- any woman who marries for 2nd time is a pros***ute!!!) Finally that night around 10pm i left her house with my child and some essentials. My parents stayed with me to look after my child. My husbnd kept visiting me on weekends. But my husbnd used to avoid me, block my calls. He never paid for my daughter's expenses too. A year have been passed. I have sent my baby to my parents house 6 months back as they wanted to go back as they stay in different state. Now my husbnd has cut all the ties, he has blocked me everywhere and he never called to enquire about our child in last 8-9 months. Last time when my father called him- he said he didn't wanna stay with me and I either can keep our child with me or i can give the child to him for rest of the life. I slipped into depression after all these. I messed up in my exams. I'm so disturbed that i had thought of ending my life many times but i reminded myself about my child. Now I don't know what to do. I talked him about divorce but he said he won't give me a single Rs aftr divorce since i am also earning. My parents too don't want me to go for a divorce 2nd time in my life as they are worried- our relatives and society will shame them. I want to bring my child back but i am worried- how will i take care of my baby since i am working. Please help. Keep me anonymous please.