My wife has schizophernia and mood disorder, married in 2008 we dont know about this and in laws didnt tell us too. I have 2 children 12 and 5. She is sitting all day in room and doing nothing. Eating in odd hours no hygeine My mother looking after the kids. Socially we cannot go anywhere as 1 person need to look after her. We are ging her medicine for last 12 years but nothing happenin What should i do, i am working in private sector and worried about kids

Even if this is not the issue, it is imperative to understand the reason for her mood ups and downs.

Since I don't have any information on her age, if she’s in her 40s, it could hormonal also. Bringing the past can simply be a manifestation of what’s going on within her.

It is possible that she is simply exhausted from all the house-work that has surely gone up for all homemakers in the past year or so.

Give her a day off every week and offer to take care of the household chores with the help of your daughters.

They are old enough to be part of this and they maybe able to reach out to their mother faster.

Also set aside some time from your schedule as a couple to talk about the day/week and plan for some activity to do together that involves just the two of you.

Marriages after a point in time reach a plateau and needs some spice and excitement.

Taking each other or each other’s needs for granted can cause a deterioration in relationships and it helps if every individual in that relationship takes the onus of doing ‘more’, thinking ‘more’, feeling ‘more’ for the other individual.

This definitely helps recreate the relationship and you get a chance to start all over again.

Best wishes for a beautiful life.

Well, we do need money to keep the family running, right?

Somehow, external happenings of someone earning more can get into the marriage cropping up as comparisons.

What started as a mere seed of comparison, slowly starts to become a huge tree with fruits of poison robbing even the small successes that you might have had.

Even that seems never enough leaving you with a feeling of inadequacy.

This affects marriage compatibility and comes out as anger, sadness, violent outburst, finger pointing which is evident in your marriage.

At the same time, I am sure your wife does not really intend to hurt you with these behavioural displays.

And that’s why externalising the situation to be your fault arises and she does not want to think that her perceptions are what are causing the situation.

Either you sit her down and bring her down to facts of the matter that this is how life is going to be and this is the money is what you can bring.

If it’s still an issue and she has a hard time accepting this reality, involve an elder member from her family to communicate with her.

Show her the mirror as to how her wants are unequal to what money is coming in and how this regular chatter might be affecting the children as well.

If anyone needs professional intervention, it’s both of you going to a therapist and not a psychiatrist.

The expert can help out things into perspective where both of you can rebuild your relationship with renewed mind spaces.

Happy rebuilding!

Dear S,

Your situation is a bit complicated as I don’t have enough information to build on.

• How do you know that she suffers from OCD? Has an expert diagnosed this?
• Is the trouble in your marriage because of your confused sexual orientation?
• Have you felt attracted to your wife at some point as well?

To me, it seems like both of you need to visit an expert who will not just help you deal with your marriage but also guide you to work on your sexual orientation which could also have led to matters going sour between you and your wife.

Like I said, things don’t add up much to me and I have tried to point you in a direction that might help you move into a solution space.

For more clarity, I do suggest getting in touch with an expert who can guide you ably and help get your life back on track.

All the best!