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Anu

Anu Krishna836 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Asked on - Feb 13, 2023Hindi

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Relationship
My wife has schizophernia and mood disorder, married in 2008 we dont know about this and in laws didnt tell us too. I have 2 children 12 and 5. She is sitting all day in room and doing nothing. Eating in odd hours no hygeine My mother looking after the kids. Socially we cannot go anywhere as 1 person need to look after her. We are ging her medicine for last 12 years but nothing happenin What should i do, i am working in private sector and worried about kids
Ans: Dear Verma,
I assume that she has been clinically diagnosed as having schizophrenia. And if yes, it entails a lot of lifestyle changes for the family member/s. I have seen close family friends go through a lot of adjustments when one of their own has been clinically diagnosed. Here is a list that might help you get a grip of the situation:
1. Educate yourself completely on the condition, so you approach the situation not out of worry but with care and caution. You can safely rely on books available on this rather than search the Internet
2. Sit the family down (includes your parents and her parents and siblings if any). Appraise them of the diagnosis, educating them on what you already know
3. Bringing yourself to the understanding that life maybe a bit different in your home in terms of managing your spouse, but with the right care and love, this isn't impossible
4. Talk to your children separately and tell them that no matter what, they are always loved by you and their Mother
5. Involve the families not to come and mope around cursing their luck, but to be of help and support to you and the children
6. Make sure that the medications prescribed by the doctor are been regularly taken by your wife
7. Accept the fact that you may not always be able to take her into social events and gatherings. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
If anyone asks you, just tell them. Own the truth, it will shut many mouths. After all, you are her biggest support.
Lastly and most importantly, take care of yourself as well. Most often caregivers forget that they exist. Create a strong circle of friends and meet up as often as you can. Develop a new hobby that can help de-stress and calm you to deal with what's at hand.

It may seem like a lot, but I am sure it will give you a start point to taking charge rather than staying muddled.

Best wishes!
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