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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2025

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Rajeev Question by Rajeev on May 30, 2025
Relationship

I have wife. She doesn't know about it. I want to actually come out of this situation but unable to do so. Please help me

Ans: Hi,
Thanks for clarifying that. If you are considering ending your marriage and pursuing a relationship with your colleague, the first step is still to have an open conversation with your wife. Only once that is sorted, should you think about your next relationship. Even if you are not happy, you owe your wife the truth and a proper explanation. And you have a child as well, so with a kid in the equation, you have to take every step even more carefully.
Once that is sorted, you can finally think about your feelings for your colleague- whether it is fleeting or real- and decide if you want to confess them to her.


Hope this helps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Listen
Relationship
HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2022

Listen
Relationship
HI ANUNice to contact you. I need your advice. Hope you can help me.We have been married for 22 years (arranged marriage). For the last 10 years we have some family dispute between my mother and wife.She used to hate me for the same. Moreover she didn’t have any interest in love and sex. She used to sleep in another bedroom. We live together with my son. She is housewife and completely involved in upbringing of my son. Six years back I was attracted and had affair with one of my colleagues. Once my wife come to know about our affair, she created too many problems. She became mad. She abused me verbally and physically. I stopped the affair, changed my job and location. I apologised and changed. I obeyed her. You can say I was a slave to her. In the meantime we never used to sleep together. I was afraid of her abuse so I never asked her for sex or love. She never asked me too. We live together but no love, no sex. Two years ago she told me that she has an affair with a guy from Facebook and they both had sex. That friend used her physically and financially. He had multiple affairs along with my wife. Now he forces her for the relationship. I talked to him and asked him to stay away. At the same time, I was shocked. My wife who completely hated sex and love had an affair with unknown guy. Again we had problems and arguments.If only she’d loved me neither of us would have had an affair.Problem is I can't digest this. I can't sleep at night. I was not physical with my friend. But my wife suspected in her mind and ruined our life. What to do? Shall I seek divorce? Should I consult a therapist to forget everything? Please guide me.
Ans: Dear PP,

If life were that simple enough, why would we be facing challenges at all?

You think if she had loved you, none of this would have happened. You choose to see it from your point of view which is understandable.

What if you take the effort to find out what made her lose interest in you and the marriage?

Women are wired differently from men when it comes to sex. It can be enveloped in emotions and when she is going through an emotionally challenging time (with your mother), it might have been hard for her to be physically close with you.

Did you consider ever resolving the situation between them?

Did you ever ask your wife: “What can I do to help your situation?”

Did you ever find out from her what made her distant from you?

It may sound harsh, but we are talking about much water under the bridge.

If you go on to blame her for cheating on you, when you could and you didn’t, well, it’s not a string place to start if you want to save your marriage.

Do you both want to reconcile and rebuild the marriage?

Communicate, as that’s something that has broken down between the two of you.

It takes two to build a marriage and two to break one. So, time to reflect and look ahead as to what can be done based on what the two of you choose to do.

As far as you not being able to reconcile with the thoughts of her being involved with another man, I suggest before you approach your wife to remedy the situation, kindly settle this thought else tempers are going to fly and things will go from bad to worse. So BREATHE and NOW sit calmly to reflect and act.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2024

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |171 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi, I am 32M. I never had any relationships in the past...One sided was there but I overcame it and focused on my work. One day in gym i came across a girl 23F, we connected on insta and started chatting. Eventually we fell in love, I know this doesn’t sound good due to the age gap. We dated, had good times and emotionally connected with each other a lot. Now while discussing something, she revealed that she is not a virgin. There was a guy in her society she met around 3 years back (when she was 19) and she was in one sided love with him. They never confessed their love to each other. And she is not in touch with him anymore it was long back. Also she said she had made out with another guy whom she met 1 month back during her classes, prior to meeting me. I was really hurt to listen all these. Like how all these things she is doing at this age. I accepted her and then we had good 2 months again. After 2 months, I got to know she was following the first guy on insta. When confronted she said she used to like to see him and his girlfriend together. She was really not in touch with the guy but she was just following him. It was hurtful to me. We had a big fight on this. They used to share intimate pics with each other too. After forcing her to tell everything about her past, she told that she used to flirt with lot of boys. First in junior college with best friend she shared intimate pics, then met with the guy she lost virginity with, then she met another friend she shared pics with. Then in last year, in classes she shared pics with friend, then again with someone and then she had a crush on some guy with whom she made out. She was connected with them on insta. Like no talks but she was following them and they followed her too. There were almost 6-7 guys she used to talk as friend and has shared intimate pics and she called it flirting. I was shocked to hear all these. I am still shocked. This is out of my mind. It is very difficult to accept that few boys have intimate pics of my girlfriend. She has been very very loyal to me since we are together. She never got this kind of love in her life. She is really super happy in this relationship. We are emotionally connected a lot. I have treated her like a child and I love her a lot. She comes from a good family. She says she has been in wrong circle and all her friends are like this only. She cried a lot and she regrets it deeply like what she has done and she wants to get out of all these. But if feel, a persons character never changes. There will be so cold moments in relationships In future, will she be able to manage herself and stay honest. I really doubt a lot. She is really good at heart like a family girl but her past is really really terrible I feel. I feel, even though I love her will I be able to accept her past. Do I deserve this ? Do my family deserve this ? But again I think of risking it all because she is really invested in this relationship and I feel very bad to break her heart. I come from a very traditional background and believe in sacred and pure form of love. But I feel I got trapped in something which I can’t leave and can’t have whole heartedly. I am not able to focus on my work and everything. It’s hurting me a lot. Should I accept her ac she is or moving on will be better for both of us, even though it might break her heart.
Ans: Why are you thinking about the past, doing so you are messing up your now.
If you trust the person then do so 100% - let it not be half-baked.
Wishing you the best.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10720 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Sep 02, 2025

Career
Hello sir.... I wanted to pursue ba/bsc psychology from a rci approved college but I don't have any clearity that what should be right. Since I have passed 12th in this year only I have given my cuet but my marks where not that good to get into any college I have filled the form of Calcutta University where I can get addmission through my 12th marks that is 72% overall but I didn't get into any as I'm from general category and cut offs are high.. mop up rounds are still yet to happen. But I talked there.. there are barely some colleges which are serious about teaching psychology and I don't think I can get into some good college that's why I'm thinking to take a drop I don't want to still and abhi bhi looking for some colleges which maybe have seat vacant so that I can try to get into that.. i don't have any clarity regarding which is good govt college because I can't afford private colleges whose fees is that high for pursuing psycology if I'm taking a gap year
Ans: Ayushi, With 72% in Class XII, you meet eligibility for most RCI-approved undergraduate psychology programs, which typically require 50–55% in PCM/Science or Humanities and English proficiency. The Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI) mandates that psychology graduates from approved institutions can register as professionals, so ensure the college holds RCI recognition or operates under a parent university with RCI-approved syllabi.

In West Bengal, government options are limited. The closely watched University of Calcutta offers a three-year BA Psychology through its morning shift at Ashutosh College and evening shift at Surendranath College with cutoffs often around 80% in general category. Vacancy rounds sometimes dip to 70–72%, so mop-up rounds could open seats. Rabindra Bharati University provides BA Psychology via merit; its cutoff hovers near 75%. Vidyasagar University in Midnapore and North Bengal University at Jalpaiguri offer BSc Psychology with lower cutoffs (65–70%), making them accessible.

Government colleges in Northern India include University of Delhi’s Cluster Innovation Centre and Gargi College, both offering BA Psychology admissions purely on Class XII marks. Their cutoffs range from 85–90%, so direct admission is unlikely at 72%, though invitation to waitlists in niche sections (e.g., evening courses) can occur. Banaras Hindu University’s BSc Psychology has a 70–75% cutoff in mop-up rounds. Panjab University (Chandigarh) and Punjab University (Patiala) allow 65–70% entries in BSc Psychology programs. University of Lucknow and Aligarh Muslim University also admit on board marks, often requiring 70–75%.

Affordable private institutions in West Bengal with RCI-approved curricula include St. Xavier’s College, Kolkata, which conducts its own merit list and lowers cutoffs to 72% in later rounds. Presidency University also admits psychology undergraduates through its merit list. In North India, Christ University (Bengaluru campus) and Amity University offer scholarships to board-mark entrants drops seats for those without CUET scores, but fees remain higher. DAV College, Chandigarh, and Maitreyi College, Delhi, provide BA Psychology at moderate fees (?30,000–40,000 per year) based on 12th marks.

Practical Roadmap and Solutions
Track Mop-Up Rounds and Merit Lists: Immediately monitor UC, Rabindra Bharati, Presidency, and St. Xavier’s websites daily for vacancies. Prepare scanned documents for swift online submission.

Apply to Multiple Institutes: Simultaneously apply to Vidyasagar University, North Bengal University, BHU, Panjab University, and Lucknow University in their ongoing merit-based admission windows. Their lower cutoffs increase chances.

Secure Waiting-List Positions: For high-demand colleges like Calcutta University and Delhi University, join all available waitlists, including evening programmes, which often have softer cutoffs.

Explore Evening/Shift Courses: Many reputed institutions offer evening or self-financed sections with relaxed cutoffs. Investigate Ashutosh College evening shift, DU evening courses, and PU self-financed sections.

Financial Planning for Private Colleges: Shortlist affordable options Inquire about scholarships or fee-installment plans at DAV College Chandigarh and Maitreyi College to help mitigate costs.

Bridge Courses and Summer Programs: As you finalize admissions, consider enrolling in online certificate courses in introductory psychology, research methods, and statistics from platforms like NPTEL or Coursera to enhance your portfolio.

Consider Gap-Year Strategy: If no suitable seat materializes by mid-October, plan a structured gap year focused on significantly improving CUET scores. Engage in disciplined self-study with coaching for CUET’s aptitude, English, and psychology modules.

CUET Preparation: Develop a timetable allocating two hours daily for CUET Psychology syllabus (foundations, developmental, abnormal, social, and research methods) and one hour for General English and Logical Reasoning. Use previous years’ CUET papers and take weekly mocks to track progress.

Alternate Entrance Exams: Some private universities conduct their own entrance tests (Christ University’s CUCET, Amity’s AUEET). Register for these supplementary exams to widen your admission avenues.

Mentorship and Counseling: Seek guidance from academic mentors or a career counselor to evaluate admission offers, financial implications, and long-term career trajectories in clinical, counseling, or research psychology.

By following this multipronged approach—pursuing merit-based vacancies, evening/self-financed programs, affordable private colleges, and preparing for CUET retake if required—you can maximize your chances of enrolling in an RCI-approved psychology UG programme without forfeiting a year.

Exhaust mop-up and merit-based admission options in government and reputed private colleges by mid-October, while preparing a robust CUET retake plan during a potential gap year to secure admission into top-tier psychology programs. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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