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Wife Refusing to Come Back: Seeking Advice in Court Case

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |366 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Akshay Question by Akshay on Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam Me and wife's case is in court It's not a divorce case But she is refusing to come back She blocked me everywhere Please help

Ans: Right now, what you can do is reflect on what led to this point. The fact that you're in court indicates that things have escalated beyond normal discussions. Is there something specific that may have pushed her to take this step? If so, sometimes looking at the situation from her perspective can shed light on what might be causing her to retreat like this.

That doesn’t mean taking all the responsibility or guilt on yourself, but understanding her side can be the first step in showing her you’re willing to meet her halfway. If she sees that you’re open to listening, understanding her pain or fears, it could make her feel less defensive.

While you're unable to communicate directly because of the block, sometimes working through mutual friends or a mediator can help convey that you're open to reconciliation, but without pressuring her. She may be feeling emotionally vulnerable, and sometimes even just the pressure to come back can make things feel worse for her. Instead, if she knows you're open and ready to discuss things with patience, she might begin to soften over time.

One of the hardest parts of situations like this is the waiting, but I’d encourage you to focus on your own emotional well-being right now. The court process is stressful, but it’s important that you stay grounded and take care of yourself in the meantime. Once you are in a stronger emotional place, you’ll be better able to approach your wife when the time comes.

Lastly, if there’s a chance to resolve things through court mediation or counseling, this can be a great step forward. The fact that she’s avoiding direct communication means she might be struggling with something deeply personal, so a neutral space where you can both express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment might be beneficial.

It's about patience, understanding, and also showing her through your actions—not just words—that you're committed to making things better, without trying to force her into anything she's not ready for.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Hi Anu, I am 44 years old man and I have unsuccessful married life as my wife didn't like be in the relationship with me within 7 months of our marriage. We married in the year 2013 and she annulled me in the year 2014. She is hyper sentimental and egoistic. She only loves money and her parents. We had exchanged some words (just like it happens in every married life). I tried to make her understand that if she don't get a job I will support her so that she can get a job. But she didn't pay attention to my request. She filed Mat suite for divorce with false allegations and I have filed a restitution of conjugal right case . She lost her divorce case and I won the RCR case. But despite magistrate order and my request she didn't turn up and filed 498A, DV Act and 125 CrPC tagging most my relatives with false evidences two years back. I fought all cases and during this time I lost my father. However again she lost DV case and Supreme Court ordered lower court to discharge everyone if they do not found us guilty as we have sufficient proof. Her lawyer started taking tricks by requesting for short span for each hearing date. As my mother's health is not well and I leave in South India, it was difficult for me to attend every hearing date. So, I decided to give up and signed the divorce petition on mutual consent. I tried my best to bring her back, but I failed. Everyone is asking to start the life in new way, but I am really shocked and in trauma of the mental torture and harassment. I am thinking that is it good start the life again in this age ? Will the new life partner take similar steps to harass me again ? Please advice.
Ans: Dear Sanju,
I can only imagine the unrest that you must be feeling right now.
Regarding your question on mental torture and harassment; I do understand how unnerving it must be for you to wake up every morning and stare at the harsh reality of what it is for you. Nevertheless, beaten down but not yet given up is something you must always remember.
It is natural to think that history repeats itself; but you cannot assume that the next person you meet will be the same. Do not enter into a relationship or marriage with this assumption; what might tend to happen is that you will hold yourself back and your partner will always feel that you are being distant from them.

Do understand that the context of marriage is the same, but the persons in question are different. It's like saying: I failed in Math, so Math is a bad subject and I will always fail! Get a hang of what I am referring to?

Take some time off to heal and be at peace and remind yourself that you deserve happiness and marriage form of a beautiful relationship that can make you happy. For now, tell 'everyone' who is asking you to start a new life to give you space to reflect on:
- What can I do different in the next relationship that I pursue?
- What more can I do for my partner that I didn't in the previous marriage?
- What are a few core values of mine that I want to see in my partner as well?

And no use starting a new life by thinking if your new life partner will harass you as well. Instead step in telling yourself: New relationship, new person, new thoughts, new life goals, new...The word NEW, should give your brain something NEW to chew on discarding the old.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1203 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am 39 Year Old Male and My wife is 37 years old, we are married for 12 years. We have 2 kids (A Son Aged 9 Years) and a daughter aged (2 years). We had good and bad both times during 12 years of our marriage. However it was my anger on petty issues which lead to multiple quarrels over the period. Last month again we had fight and my wife left home without my or my family knowladge along with both our kids to my in-laws. During this 1 month of seperation i realized my mistakes and are ready to amend it, but my wife lacks trust now. We are not in touch since she has left as she has blocked my number and send me court notice of maintenance also (Ofcourse notice has lot of lies also). No i have understood my family's values and unable to bear such distance from both wife and kids. What my wife is thinking i dont know. Financially i have always kept her happy but due to my quarrels things have gone bad now. Please advice what should be way forward for me and what should i do to bring my family back. PLEASE GUIDE!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ego trips have divided the two of you considerably.
Seek the help of an elder member of a family who will act like a go-between and a mediator. He/She must be neutral and unbiased as well.
This helps in having a smooth flow in a conversation between you and your wife where both of you can our in your woes and also be clear on whether either of you want the marriage to continue or not. Also, take into account the children and their welfare as they are very young and any decision taken will impact them in one or many ways.
If this mediation fails, kindly seek the help of a marriage therapist/counselor even this means sharing 'stuff' with a total stranger. Most often that stranger will be the person to facilitate a smooth reconciliation if the couple also wants the same.

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
Money
I would appreciate it if you could suggest a best financial strategy for building a 2CR corpus in the next 10 years. I am 34 years old and have a total of 15 lakhs in loans for personal and credit cards. I had a corpus of 10 lakhs in FD before Covid but had to use it due to medical emergencies. I would like to start again with my current salary of 70k, with 35k going towards my loans and 5k going towards groceries.
Ans: Building a Rs. 2 Crore Corpus in 10 Years
Age: 34 | Current Salary: Rs. 70,000 per month
Total Loan: Rs. 15 Lakhs (Personal + Credit Cards)

You aim to build a Rs. 2 crore corpus in 10 years, despite having loans and a limited current surplus. Achieving this goal requires a balanced financial strategy. I will suggest a detailed, 360-degree plan for you, focusing on debt reduction, systematic investments, and discipline.

Current Situation Assessment
Salary: Rs. 70,000 per month
Loans: Rs. 15 lakhs
Loan EMIs: Rs. 35,000 per month
Grocery expenses: Rs. 5,000 per month
Available Surplus: Rs. 30,000 per month
You already have Rs. 35,000 going towards loans and Rs. 5,000 towards groceries. This leaves you with Rs. 30,000 to work with monthly. Here’s how you can manage this amount effectively.

Step 1: Prioritize Debt Repayment
Your primary focus should be to clear high-interest loans first. Personal and credit card loans usually have high-interest rates. These loans could eat into your savings if not managed carefully.

Allocate Rs. 25,000 from your surplus for loan repayment.
Focus on credit card debt first, as it is likely the costliest loan.
If possible, opt for balance transfer or debt consolidation to reduce the interest burden on these loans.
Step 2: Emergency Fund Creation
Given your past medical emergency, it's important to build an emergency fund. This will act as a financial cushion for unforeseen events.

Allocate Rs. 5,000 per month from your available Rs. 30,000 surplus.
Aim to accumulate 6 months of your expenses, which should be around Rs. 2 lakh.
Keep this amount in a liquid fund or high-interest savings account for easy access.
After clearing loans, you can increase this allocation further.

Step 3: Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) for Wealth Creation
Once your loans are under control, you will have more surplus to invest. To achieve Rs. 2 crore in 10 years, Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) will play a key role. Here’s how to begin.

Start by investing Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 7,000 monthly in mutual funds initially.

Large-Cap Mutual Funds: Stable returns and lower risk.
Flexi-Cap Mutual Funds: Offers a mix of large, mid, and small-cap exposure.
You can gradually increase this SIP as you free up more funds after repaying the loans.

Step 4: Focus on Retirement through NPS
You are 34 now and should also begin thinking about retirement savings alongside other goals.

Consider investing in the National Pension System (NPS).
You can allocate Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 3,000 per month towards NPS.
It has tax benefits under Section 80C, and the returns from equity exposure can help in long-term wealth building.
Step 5: Use Tax Savings to Boost Investments
Maximize tax-saving opportunities to increase your investment potential.

Section 80C: You can invest in ELSS mutual funds for tax-saving purposes, PPF, or NPS.
Health Insurance Premiums: Take advantage of Section 80D for your and your family’s health insurance.
Any tax refunds or savings should be channelled back into your SIPs to boost wealth creation.
Step 6: Revisit and Reduce Insurance Burden (If any)
If you have LIC policies, especially those that combine insurance and investment, assess their performance.

If the returns are low, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Get a pure term insurance for adequate life cover at a lower cost, which won’t affect your long-term savings.
This strategy helps in cost optimization, leaving more for investments.

Step 7: Regularly Increase SIP Contributions
As your salary increases or once you have cleared your loans, step up your SIP contributions. To reach Rs. 2 crore in 10 years, you will need to invest aggressively.

You can follow the 10% rule for SIP step-ups each year.
As a benchmark, an Rs. 30,000 per month SIP in the long term (post-loan repayment) can significantly increase your chances of achieving your goal.
Step 8: Review and Monitor Performance
Financial plans should be flexible and adaptable. As market conditions change, periodically review your investments to ensure they are on track.

Annually review the performance of your mutual funds with your Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
Shift from underperforming funds to better options if required, but always stay consistent with your investment goals.
Finally: Achieving Your Goal of Rs. 2 Crore
Based on the above steps, let’s consider the long-term picture:

Clearing debt in the next 3-4 years will free up a large chunk of your income.
Increasing your SIP gradually to Rs. 30,000 - Rs. 35,000 per month after clearing debt will set you on track to achieve the Rs. 2 crore target.
Stay disciplined and review your portfolio regularly to adjust to changing circumstances.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, i have got three properties (Property 1,Flat, value around 1.5 Cr. no loan. Property 2,Office, value around 2 Cr, no loan. Property 3,Flat, Value around 4 Crs, loan 1.5 Crs). I am staying currently in property 1 and planning to shift to property 3. Rental expected from property 1 and 2 is 50k and 80k respectively. So question is should i continue the loan on property 3 or should I clear that loan by selling either of property 1 or 2.Thanks in advance.
Ans: Understanding Your Current Scenario
You own three properties with no loans on two of them:

Property 1 (Flat): Valued at Rs 1.5 crore.
Property 2 (Office): Valued at Rs 2 crore.
Property 3 (Flat): Valued at Rs 4 crore, with a Rs 1.5 crore loan.
You are planning to shift from Property 1 to Property 3. You also expect rental income of Rs 50,000 from Property 1 and Rs 80,000 from Property 2.

Loan Repayment or Continuing EMI: Factors to Consider
Here are some key aspects you need to evaluate before deciding to sell or continue the loan:

1. Interest on the Loan
The first question is: What is the interest rate on your home loan for Property 3? If the interest rate is high, clearing the loan might make sense.
If your loan interest rate is below 8%, the loan cost is relatively low. You could consider continuing the loan and using your surplus for better investments that generate higher returns.
2. Rental Income Stability
You are getting a rental income of Rs 1.3 lakh from Property 1 and 2 combined. This is a steady income stream that can support your monthly EMIs or other expenses.
If you sell one of these properties, you will lose this stable rental income. Consider how this will affect your long-term cash flow.
3. Opportunity Cost of Selling the Properties
Selling Property 1 or 2 will give you liquidity to clear the loan on Property 3. However, this would result in the loss of rental income of Rs 50,000 or Rs 80,000.
Think about the potential appreciation of these properties. If you expect significant future value increase, holding onto them may be wise.
4. Capital Gains Tax Consideration
If you sell either property, you will need to pay capital gains tax. The tax implications can reduce the actual amount you get from the sale.
Before making a decision, calculate the tax you will need to pay on selling the property, especially if the property has appreciated significantly.
5. Emotional Factor and Usage
Consider how emotionally attached you are to these properties. Would selling a property you’ve lived in or used for a long time affect your decision?
Also, think about how you may want to use these properties in the future. If Property 2 is an office, will it have future business use?
Benefits of Keeping the Loan
Keeping the loan on Property 3 can be a smart option if:

The interest rate on the loan is low.
You can comfortably pay the EMIs from your rental income or other sources.
You want to hold onto your properties for long-term capital appreciation.
Benefits of Clearing the Loan
Clearing the loan by selling Property 1 or 2 might make sense if:

The interest rate on the loan is high and you want to avoid paying interest over a long period.
You prefer a debt-free lifestyle and don’t want the burden of monthly EMIs.
You can sell the property without significant tax losses or future appreciation concerns.
Analyzing Each Option
Option 1: Continue the Loan on Property 3
You keep both Property 1 and 2 and continue earning Rs 1.3 lakh in rental income.
Use this rental income to cover a portion of the EMI on Property 3.
Over time, property prices are likely to appreciate, giving you more equity on these assets.
This option is ideal if you have a low-interest loan and prefer to hold onto your assets.
Option 2: Sell Property 1 or 2 to Clear the Loan
You become debt-free by selling either Property 1 or 2.
However, you lose the rental income from the property you sell.
You might face capital gains tax, which will reduce the actual liquidity you get.
This option works if you want to eliminate your loan burden and don’t mind sacrificing rental income.
Rental Yield vs Loan Interest
Another point to evaluate is the rental yield.

If the rental yield (rental income as a percentage of property value) is higher than your loan interest rate, it may be more profitable to continue with the loan. If it is lower, you may want to consider clearing the loan.

For example, if your rental yield is 3% and your loan interest rate is 8%, the loan costs are higher. In this case, clearing the loan might be a better option.

Tax Deduction on Loan Interest
Don't forget that home loan interest payments qualify for tax deductions under Section 24(b) of the Income Tax Act. If you fall in a high tax bracket, you might get significant tax relief by continuing the loan. This could make the loan cheaper overall.

Finally
Making this decision requires balancing your long-term financial goals and current financial comfort. It’s not just about clearing the loan but about ensuring that your assets and cash flows are optimized for the future.

If your loan interest rate is low and you can comfortably pay the EMI, consider keeping the loan. The rental income you have is steady, and property values are likely to appreciate.

If the loan interest rate is high or the EMI feels burdensome, you might want to clear the loan by selling one of your properties. But do keep in mind the tax implications and the long-term benefits of retaining your properties.

I recommend speaking to a Certified Financial Planner to analyze this further, as personal financial situations can vary greatly.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6630 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

Money
Sir, I am 44 years old. I have started investing in Mutual funds. I have invested @Rs 2000 each in 4 nos of mutual funds. SBI bluechip - SBI Small cap - Parag Parikh Flexi cap - Icici multi cap growth - How good a mix is this and how much my approximate wealth creation will be at 60. I also have an NPS of Rs 2500 p.m. NPS Vatsalya of Rs 2000 p.m. Provident fund investment of Rs 7000 p.m. Sukanya Samriddhi of Rs 1000 p.m. Other than LICs of around 15000 p.m. How is this strategy and do I need to change anything. I have a son and daughter and i am the sole earner in my family. Net salary is around Rs 94000 p.m. Kindly guide Regards G S Bhattacharya
Ans: Mr. Bhattacharya, your current investment strategy is quite diversified, which is a great start. You're investing in mutual funds, NPS, Provident Fund, Sukanya Samriddhi, and LICs. Let’s take a detailed look at each of your investments and assess how they contribute to your long-term goals, including wealth creation and family security.

Mutual Fund Mix Evaluation
You have chosen a mix of large-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, and multi-cap funds. Let’s break this down:

SBI Bluechip (Large Cap): This fund focuses on stable, large companies. It offers consistent growth with lower risk compared to small- and mid-cap funds.

SBI Small Cap: Small-cap funds are known for high growth potential but come with higher volatility. It's good for long-term wealth creation if you can handle the risk.

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap: Flexi-cap funds provide a balanced approach as they invest across market caps. This fund adds diversification and flexibility to your portfolio.

ICICI Multicap Growth: Multi-cap funds offer broad exposure across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. This adds diversity and helps balance risk and return.

Your current mix is balanced with exposure to different market segments. However, you are investing only Rs 8,000 per month across four funds. If possible, consider increasing your SIPs over time to enhance your wealth creation.

You may also want to review your portfolio every year with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure it's aligned with your goals and risk tolerance.

NPS (National Pension System)
You are contributing Rs 2,500 per month to NPS, which is a good retirement tool. NPS offers a mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. It also gives you the benefit of tax savings under Section 80C and 80CCD(1B). However, at Rs 2,500 per month, your contribution is relatively low. Increasing this amount will give you a more substantial retirement corpus.

NPS Vatsalya
Your Rs 2,000 contribution to NPS Vatsalya adds to your retirement planning. While both NPS and NPS Vatsalya are pension schemes, you need to assess whether maintaining both is necessary. A professional planner can help you decide if consolidating these investments might be more effective.

Provident Fund (PF)
Contributing Rs 7,000 per month to your Provident Fund is excellent for building a retirement corpus. It offers guaranteed returns and is a safe long-term investment. The tax benefits and safety make this an essential part of your strategy. You can continue this contribution as it builds a solid foundation for your retirement.

Sukanya Samriddhi Scheme (SSS)
You are contributing Rs 1,000 per month towards Sukanya Samriddhi for your daughter. This is a great step towards securing her future. It offers attractive interest rates, and the maturity is tax-free. This is one of the best tools for saving for your daughter’s education and marriage.

LIC Premiums
You are paying Rs 15,000 per month towards LIC policies. LIC offers security, but it’s crucial to assess whether these policies are insurance-cum-investment products. These policies often provide lower returns than mutual funds. It might be worth reconsidering your allocation to LIC, focusing on term insurance for protection and mutual funds for growth. If you find that these are traditional or ULIP policies, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in high-return mutual funds.

Wealth Creation by Age 60: Approximate Insights
Given your current investment pattern, let's look at potential wealth creation:

Mutual Funds: With a SIP of Rs 8,000 per month, assuming an average annual return of 12% over the next 16 years, your mutual funds can grow significantly. You could expect a corpus upwards of Rs 50-60 lakh, depending on market performance and how regularly you increase your SIP amounts.

NPS: Your Rs 2,500 contribution per month might result in a decent retirement corpus, depending on how long you continue investing and the equity-debt ratio of your NPS portfolio. Over time, you can expect this corpus to grow steadily.

Provident Fund: Your Rs 7,000 per month in PF contributions will continue building a safe and stable retirement corpus.

Sukanya Samriddhi: Your contributions towards Sukanya Samriddhi will grow until your daughter turns 21, and the tax-free maturity amount will help with her education or marriage.

However, exact wealth creation depends on how consistently you invest and whether you increase contributions over time. Periodic reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can give you better insights.

Family Protection and Financial Security
You mentioned that you are the sole earner in your family. It's crucial to protect your family with a pure term insurance plan rather than relying on LIC's traditional policies for both insurance and investment. Pure term insurance offers higher coverage at a lower cost.

Since you have a son and a daughter, ensuring they are financially secure is essential. You may need to assess your insurance coverage to ensure it meets your family's needs in case of unforeseen circumstances.

Suggestions for Improvement
While your strategy is solid, here are a few improvements to consider:

Increase SIPs Gradually: If your budget allows, gradually increase your SIPs. Even small increases can have a significant impact on your long-term wealth.

Focus on Term Insurance: If your LIC policies are investment-cum-insurance plans, consider switching to term insurance for higher life coverage at a lower cost. Reinvest the difference in mutual funds for better returns.

Review NPS Contributions: Consider increasing your NPS contributions if retirement security is a primary goal. The NPS can be a powerful tool for building a retirement corpus, but your current contributions may be on the lower side.

Keep an Emergency Fund: Ensure you have a sufficient emergency fund. Ideally, you should aim for 6-12 months of expenses saved in a liquid, safe investment like a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

Child’s Education Planning: Sukanya Samriddhi is excellent for your daughter. For your son, you may want to allocate additional savings towards his higher education through a dedicated investment plan.

Final Insights
Your current investment approach is diversified and provides a good balance between growth and safety. You have laid a strong foundation for retirement, children’s education, and insurance.

To further enhance your financial security:

Gradually increase your SIPs and NPS contributions.
Shift to term insurance for higher life cover.
Periodically review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your long-term goals.
Lastly, don't hesitate to seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for personalized guidance on growing and protecting your wealth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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