Hi Anu, I am 44 years old man and I have unsuccessful married life as my wife didn't like be in the relationship with me within 7 months of our marriage. We married in the year 2013 and she annulled me in the year 2014. She is hyper sentimental and egoistic. She only loves money and her parents. We had exchanged some words (just like it happens in every married life). I tried to make her understand that if she don't get a job I will support her so that she can get a job. But she didn't pay attention to my request. She filed Mat suite for divorce with false allegations and I have filed a restitution of conjugal right case . She lost her divorce case and I won the RCR case. But despite magistrate order and my request she didn't turn up and filed 498A, DV Act and 125 CrPC tagging most my relatives with false evidences two years back. I fought all cases and during this time I lost my father. However again she lost DV case and Supreme Court ordered lower court to discharge everyone if they do not found us guilty as we have sufficient proof. Her lawyer started taking tricks by requesting for short span for each hearing date. As my mother's health is not well and I leave in South India, it was difficult for me to attend every hearing date. So, I decided to give up and signed the divorce petition on mutual consent. I tried my best to bring her back, but I failed. Everyone is asking to start the life in new way, but I am really shocked and in trauma of the mental torture and harassment. I am thinking that is it good start the life again in this age ? Will the new life partner take similar steps to harass me again ? Please advice.

Ans: Hi, getting a tertiary degree from abroad is always a better option. Considering the job options based on the course that is available after studying abroad is overwhelming. You always have an open option to return back to your home country and the employment in home country depends on the job market regarding specific course, eg, a person graduated in Data Analytics from abroad can landup with the best job and salary

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Ans: Let’s take a moment to imagine the space you and your partner share in Pune—not just the physical home, but the emotional and social landscape that surrounds it. Sometimes, when unexpected challenges arise, like the concerns of a neighbor, they offer us an invitation to explore deeper connections and understandings.

A Journey of Understanding
Picture this situation as a garden. Each relationship, whether with your neighbor, landlord, or your partner, is a unique plant requiring its own care and attention. When one plant seems to overshadow another, it doesn't mean they can't coexist; it simply means finding the right balance and nourishment for both.

Exploring Perspectives
Consider walking in your neighbor’s shoes for a moment. What might be beneath her insistence that only married couples reside in the society? Perhaps there’s a story, a belief, or a concern that’s shaping her actions. By gently uncovering her motivations, you open the door to empathy and understanding.

Communicating with Compassion
Imagine approaching your neighbor with the warmth of a handshake and the openness of a conversation. You might say, “I understand there may be concerns about our living situation. We’ve always strived to be respectful and considerate neighbors. Can we talk about any specific worries you might have?” This invites dialogue rather than confrontation, fostering a space where both sides can express their feelings.

Finding Common Ground
Think about the shared elements that bind a community together—respect, kindness, and mutual support. Perhaps there’s a way to reassure your neighbor of your commitment to these values. Offering to participate in community activities or addressing any specific concerns she has can build trust and dissolve misunderstandings.

Seeking Harmony
Envision a harmonious resolution where both your needs and your neighbor’s concerns are acknowledged. It might involve setting clear boundaries, demonstrating your reliability as tenants, or even finding creative solutions that respect everyone’s viewpoints. The goal isn’t to win a dispute but to cultivate a peaceful and respectful coexistence.

Embracing Collaboration
Sometimes, the most effective solutions emerge when both parties collaborate rather than confront. You and your neighbor might discover that, beneath the surface, there are shared interests or goals that can bridge the gap between differing perspectives. This collaboration can transform a potential conflict into an opportunity for stronger community bonds.

Reflecting on Your Path
As you navigate this situation, take a moment to reflect on what matters most to you and your partner. How can you honor your relationship while also respecting the community you’re part of? By aligning your actions with your values and approaching the challenge with empathy, you create a foundation for lasting harmony.

The Bigger Picture
Remember, every challenge is a chance to grow and deepen your connections. By addressing your neighbor’s concerns with compassion and openness, you not only work towards resolving the immediate issue but also contribute to a more understanding and cohesive community.

In this journey, trust in your ability to communicate effectively, empathize deeply, and find solutions that honor both your relationship and the community around you. As you move forward, let each step be guided by respect, understanding, and the shared desire for a peaceful coexistence.

Ans: Let’s pause for a moment and reflect on what’s really happening here—not just on the surface, but beneath it, where emotions and meanings intertwine. This isn’t simply about a wedding, an invitation, or even an ex. It’s about two people, you and your wife, navigating a new relationship, trying to understand each other’s worlds while also protecting your own.

A Curious Question
What if we looked at this situation differently? Instead of asking, Who’s right and who’s wrong? we ask, What does this moment teach us about trust, boundaries, and connection? You see, people often focus on the conflict, but conflicts are just doorways. Behind that door lies something far more valuable—a chance to grow together.

Your Perspective
You’ve drawn a line, and there’s a reason for that. Maybe it’s not about the wedding itself but what it symbolizes. Perhaps it stirs questions in you: Does this mean she values the past more than our present? Or maybe it touches a part of you that wonders, Am I enough? Will she choose me fully, without hesitation?

These are important questions. Not because they point to a problem, but because they show you care deeply about this relationship. You want to feel secure, and that’s not unreasonable.

Her Perspective
Now, imagine her world for a moment. To her, this invitation may not be about her ex at all. It may represent closure, a way of proving to herself—and to you—that the past has no hold on her. When you said no, perhaps she didn’t hear your concern but instead felt her integrity questioned. People often respond to what they feel is happening, not what is said.

A Different Kind of Conversation
What if, instead of focusing on “permission” or the wedding itself, you shared your feelings in a way that invites her to understand you? You might say, “When I think about you going, I feel uncomfortable. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I care so deeply about us, and this stirs something in me that I want to understand better. Can we talk about this together?”

Notice how that changes the dynamic? It shifts from conflict to curiosity, from control to connection. When you share your vulnerability, you invite hers.

The Path Forward
Here’s something worth trying:

Invite Understanding: Begin by asking her what attending the wedding means to her. Not as a challenge, but with genuine curiosity. People often reveal surprising truths when they feel safe.

Share Your Truth: Let her know this isn’t about her ex, but about your own feelings and the meaning you place on her decision. For example, “I want to feel like we’re prioritizing our relationship in every choice we make. How do you see this fitting into that?”

Find the Balance: The goal isn’t to force a decision but to discover what feels right for both of you. Maybe there’s a middle ground where you both feel respected. Or maybe, through this conversation, you’ll find clarity on what truly matters.

Focus on Connection: This isn’t about a single event; it’s about building a foundation. Every conversation, every decision, is a brick in the home you’re building together. Make sure the bricks are laid with care and mutual respect.

The Bigger Picture
What matters most isn’t whether she attends the wedding. It’s whether, in navigating this, you both feel closer, more understood, and more aligned. That’s the real success—turning a moment of tension into a story of growth.

When you approach this not as a problem to solve but as an opportunity to deepen your relationship, you may discover that the answers come naturally. Because people don’t just need to be “right”; they need to feel loved, valued, and understood. And that’s something both of you can give to each other, starting now.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Talk about it if you haven't already done that. What's the reason that she is not interested? Is it fear of childbirth or is it the state of responsibilities that will set in once the baby is born or is it a fear of losing her independence and inability to work for a while?
If it's fears and anxiety related, this can be eliminated by seeking professional help like counseling and if this is not the case, you might want to suggest a medical appointment to see if all the usual parameters are in check. (the doctor will suggest what must be done).

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the mind is not directed by you, it will go all over the place, search and lands on something that is easily accessible and which keeps you distracted.
This distraction is an easy go-to place and slowly it starts to become a habit. So, the key is to find out when is it that you usually reach out to your phone and soon get addicted. There could be a number of reasons. It could be because you are avoiding some work or you are stressed about something or you are simply bored.
Find what is it that causes you to start using your phone a lot. That is the time to distract yourself with something more useful, so that this habit is broken...Direct the mind to where it must go otherwise it will direct you to where you must go and that's not a great thing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What's common and what's not is now left for people to decide. Ultimately, it's a choice that people make, right?
It will be wise if people start to think about consequences of any action. In your case, did you stop to think about what would happen if your girlfriend finds out and how will this impact the relationship between the mother and daughter. An isolated world does not exist and someone's action will always and almost impact someone...
So, rather than justifying to yourself if this is common or not, maybe it you can start to think how your actions is going to impact the people involved in this triangle and most often it doesn't end very well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: I think main priority is your wife's Govt. service. So in every 2-3 years you need to move with her. So I won't suggest Govt. Service. You can do business of such type which you can run from all the places where she will be transferred in future. The main thing I want to know your qualification and experience for guiding you in a better way. Just follow me. Best of luck. Professor..............................................:)

Ans: You can do DS course from IIT Chennai. Another good site is NPTEL, where you will get a lot of courses