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Struggling with in-laws and husband, feeling trapped: What should I do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Whenever I have a fight with my in-laws, my husband always takes their side and not talks with me for a 15 days or a week, tells me that he is bearing me all this years and I should go back to my mothers house, anyway he is hardly talking with me, he just answers my question, he is always busy with his office work, and he shoe me away if I try to romance by saying our daughter (13yr old) will see us, will do it afterwards, that comes only ones in a month. He is really unhappy with me, they all want to send me to my mother house, I deeply love him ....this all things makes me anxious, what should I do??? Ours is arranged marriage 15yrs. gone. He feels like he is trapped with me and now I am also feeling unhappy in our marriage..what should I do please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly none of them seem to be happy with you and seem to want to get you away from them.
What exactly are you holding onto? Evaluate what you are getting by staying in the marriage and what you can do to manage life without the marriage if you of course make that choice.
I would also suggest one last attempt at putting things together. Will your husband be willing to talk to a third person like a therapist or even a family member? Try to set things right and even after this, they seem to make your life miserable, you really need to create options for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years. Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.My in-laws are not very friendly people.After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house. My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well. I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work. My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing. In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.Please provide your valuable suggestions.
Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Hi Anu, I got married in Jan 2019 and it was an arranged marriage. Before marriage my husband loved me and we used to meet often and go out. But after marriage i got to know that his parents are extremely controlling and strict, they brainwashed him. A week into marriage we started fighting, and since then it's been a see-saw of love and hate. Soon we found out that he is impotent, but I helped him get over it, be it doctor's appointments or medicine, I took care of everything, it took us a year but we finally consummated our marriage. Then due to covid we moved to my in-laws’ house at his request. And then this marriage became hell to me, my in-laws started verbally abusing me every day though my husband tried to protect me but failed. I thought after the baby they would stop but it got worse so I took my 1-month-old baby and moved into my parents’ house. My husband came and begged me to not leave him, he said we'll move out to our own place. I agreed but then he called and told me that we'll go to another city after a year and I should stay with my mother till that time. BTW I am taking care of the baby all on my own financially, he won't do it unless I start living with him. I am financially independent. I don't know whether I should leave him or not, help?
Ans:

Dear S,

Time this one out! Which means, drop a deadline by having a conversation with your husband as to when your family will finally have a chance to function independently from in-laws or any other external circumstances.

Dropping deadlines means, both of you will be under the pump to put down a plan as to what needs to be done to clear out the existing muck and how beautifully you will create a loving environment for your baby to grow.

Not taking care of the baby or you, is not an option for him; but I guess it has become a convenient arrangement for him as you live with your parents and he does not need to take care of the fights and expenses as well.

This could only mean he is escaping reality and finding peace in avoiding it. Put him in the face of reality and that goes for you as well.

Being too accommodative can also become a habit where you rely on the comfort of what it brings to you; in this case the comfort at your parents' home.

For the sake of the baby, work together as a team and create a beautiful relationship; which will help the baby grow healthy, physically and emotionally.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

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Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done
Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
I want to retire by age 50, which gives me about 12 years to become debt-free and build a strong corpus. I have savings worth Rs 30 lakh. Should I use my current savings to aggressively prepay my home/personal loan so I can redirect future income entirely toward retirement? I have loan worth Rs 45 lakh. I am 38 now.
Ans: Your focus on retiring at 50 is powerful and inspiring.

You are 38 now. You have 12 years for a major life shift.
That’s enough time if handled with care and clarity.

We will cover debt reduction, wealth creation, and risk management.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Your current savings are Rs. 30 lakh.

You have loan outstanding of Rs. 45 lakh.

You want to retire in the next 12 years.

Goal is to become debt-free and build a strong corpus.

This combination of debt and savings needs precise planning.

Define Your Retirement Vision
You must first define your retirement lifestyle.

Know your monthly expenses after age 50.

Plan for healthcare, travel, family commitments.

This will help you know the size of corpus needed.

Also, calculate inflation-adjusted monthly needs post-retirement.
That gives clarity on savings and investment targets.

Evaluate Loan Terms and EMI Pressure
Check the interest rate on your loan.

Check tenure remaining and EMI amount.

If the loan is a home loan, interest rate may be low.
If personal loan, then rate may be very high.

EMI strain also matters.
If EMI is too high, financial stress will impact investments.

Should You Use Savings to Prepay the Loan?
The answer depends on loan rate versus investment return.

Let us assess both sides carefully.

Benefits of Loan Prepayment
Interest burden reduces immediately.

Loan tenure comes down if EMI is constant.

Less stress from outstanding liabilities.

More mental peace and freedom.

This is very helpful when targeting early retirement.

Limitations of Prepaying Entirely Now
You reduce your liquidity buffer.

No savings left for emergency or investing.

Retirement fund building gets delayed.

You need to strike a balance.
Don’t overpay and lose growth time.

12 years is your golden period to build wealth.
Once retired, no fresh income may come in.

Suggested Strategic Approach
Do not use full Rs. 30 lakh for loan prepayment.
Instead, follow a dual strategy of part-prepayment and part-investment.

This gives you control, growth, and flexibility.

Step 1: Create Emergency Reserve
First, keep Rs. 6 lakh aside in liquid funds.

This covers 6-8 months of household costs.

It also covers health, job, or life emergencies.

This amount gives you safety and liquidity.

Step 2: Partial Loan Prepayment
Use Rs. 12 lakh to prepay the loan now.

This brings down principal and interest burden.

Keep EMI amount the same, reduce tenure.

Check with your bank for exact numbers.
Focus on tenure reduction, not EMI reduction.

This builds pressure-free freedom for later years.

Step 3: Begin Long-Term Investments
You will now have Rs. 12 lakh available from savings.

Start investing this over the next 12 to 18 months.

Use Systematic Transfer Plan (STP) from liquid fund.

The investment should focus on long-term growth.
We suggest a mix of actively managed mutual funds.

Why Actively Managed Mutual Funds?
They are managed by expert fund managers.

They outperform in both bull and flat markets.

They help manage risks in volatile times.

Please do not invest in index funds.

Index funds just mirror the market blindly.

They cannot protect during market corrections.

They give average returns, not goal-focused returns.

Actively managed funds give tailored strategies.
They are ideal for someone targeting early retirement.

Avoid Direct Plans Without Expert Help
If you invest in direct plans without guidance:

You miss out on rebalancing help.

You may pick wrong funds and lose time.

You might panic during market falls.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner and MFD.
They track your funds and tweak them when needed.

Future Surplus Allocation Plan
Now we plan how to use your income going forward.

Increase investments every year by 10% to 15%.

Avoid lifestyle inflation, focus on corpus creation.

Prepay loan further with yearly bonuses.

Aim to close the entire Rs. 45 lakh loan
within the next 5 to 6 years.

This frees up large income chunks for retirement building.

Long-Term Investment Portfolio Structure
After you are debt-free, investment can accelerate.
Target the following portfolio structure:

60% in diversified equity mutual funds.

30% in hybrid or balanced advantage funds.

10% in short-term debt and liquid funds.

This portfolio gives growth, safety, and liquidity.
It also protects your retirement income planning.

Retirement Goal Calculator
Your retirement corpus must support 30+ years of life.

Use future value estimates, not current expenses.

Include lifestyle, medical, and unexpected costs.

Work backward from age 50 to know how much to save.
That gives you an annual savings target.

Stick to it with discipline.

Risk Management Plan
You must protect your assets and income.

Take health insurance of Rs. 10 lakh minimum.

Add a super top-up of Rs. 25 lakh.

Hold term insurance till age 60.

Nominate all your investments properly.

Keep one joint holder for each major asset.

Make a Will once you cross age 45.
Also, review insurance and goals every 3 years.

Tax Planning and Cash Flow Monitoring
As your investments grow, tax planning becomes critical.

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG taxed at 20%.

Debt funds taxed as per income slab.

Plan redemptions carefully to reduce tax outgo.
A Certified Financial Planner will guide with tax-smart withdrawals.

Track monthly cash flows with a simple Excel sheet.
Avoid unplanned EMI burdens or impulse purchases.

Monitor and Review Every Year
Review your investment performance every 6 months.

Evaluate any underperforming schemes.

Rebalance asset mix if markets shift.

Reassess loan status every Diwali.

Annual reviews bring control and direction.
Your financial plan must adjust with age and market.

Finally
Your goal of retiring at 50 is realistic.
But it needs focused planning and timely action.

Your savings, loan, and income must work together.
A dual approach of prepaying and investing is ideal.

It gives freedom from debt and freedom to grow.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to review every step.
Stay consistent, avoid distractions, and build your vision patiently.

With 12 disciplined years, you can achieve early retirement.
Start today. Stay invested. Stay focused.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8336 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2025
Money
Hello Sir - I am 52 years old and I have taken a break from my career. I currently have around 6 Crores worth of savings - 2 Crs in Equity and 4 Crs in FD. In addition, I have 2 residential houses and a farm plot all totalling around 4 Crores. No loan exposure. Anticipated expenses in future - daughter's higher studies in Europe after 6 years. Can you please advise me on the ideal portfolio construction.
Ans: You have taken smart and timely financial decisions so far.

Your present financial standing is strong and commendable.
No loans, good asset mix, and clarity on future needs.

Let’s now structure your investment portfolio with long-term clarity.
We will look at stability, growth, liquidity, and future goals.

Understanding Your Current Position
You have Rs. 6 crores in financial investments.

Rs. 2 crores in equity.

Rs. 4 crores in fixed deposits.

Additional Rs. 4 crores in real estate.

No loan liabilities.

Future key goal: Daughter’s higher studies in Europe in 6 years.

Your priority is to protect capital, generate growth, and stay liquid.
Your strategy should also aim at tax-efficiency and simplicity.

Key Investment Objectives
Preserve your existing capital base.

Provide for daughter’s overseas education.

Build a steady long-term wealth creation portfolio.

Maintain enough liquidity for emergencies.

Balance growth with lower downside risk.

Keep taxation under control with efficient planning.

Suggested Asset Allocation
Let us now assess an ideal mix.

20% in Fixed Income instruments.

60% in Actively Managed Mutual Funds.

10% in Emergency and Ultra Short-Term Funds.

10% in Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds.

This structure is balanced, growth-oriented, and liquidity-ready.
You already have real estate, so no fresh allocation there.

Repositioning Your Existing Portfolio
You already hold Rs. 4 crores in FDs.
FDs are safe but returns barely beat inflation.

Consider breaking Rs. 2.5 crores from FDs.

Reinvest in better-performing asset classes.

You have Rs. 2 crores in equity.
We assume this is in direct equity or past mutual fund investments.

Shift from direct equity to actively managed mutual funds.

They offer professional fund management.

Diversification across sectors brings better long-term results.

Helps reduce stock-specific risks.

Please avoid index funds.

Index funds blindly follow the market.

They lack flexibility and active monitoring.

They fail to outperform in volatile or sideways markets.

Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted returns.

If you are currently investing in direct funds, be cautious.

Direct plans lack personalised advice.

Choosing wrong funds can affect returns heavily.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credential offer guidance.

Continuous monitoring and rebalancing are also provided.

In your case, a Certified Financial Planner can help align the portfolio
with your family’s unique life goals and risk capacity.

Detailed Portfolio Construction Plan
1. Fixed Income Allocation – 20%
Allocate Rs. 1.2 crores to debt mutual funds.

Choose high-quality short-term or corporate bond funds.

Keep the duration under 3 years for safety.

Avoid FDs for long term due to lower returns.

Debt funds are more tax-efficient after 3 years.

Be mindful of the new tax rule:
Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

So, debt funds offer better post-tax returns only
if held with smart timing and product choice.

2. Actively Managed Mutual Funds – 60%
Allocate Rs. 3.6 crores gradually in equity mutual funds.

Choose a blend of multi-cap, flexi-cap, and large-mid cap funds.

Add some exposure to thematic or sectoral funds for growth.

SIP route is ideal for phased exposure.

This diversified equity allocation brings long-term wealth creation.
You also reduce timing risk with regular investments.

The mutual fund mix should be carefully curated
based on your risk profile and goal horizon.

Please ensure a Certified Financial Planner monitors this portfolio
and rebalances every 6 to 12 months.

3. Emergency and Contingency Allocation – 10%
Keep Rs. 60 lakhs in ultra-short term and liquid funds.

This covers 24+ months of monthly household expenses.

Provides quick access for health and personal emergencies.

Avoid using this for investments or lifestyle spends.

This fund should remain untouched except for real emergencies.

4. Gold and Sovereign Gold Bonds – 10%
Invest Rs. 60 lakhs in Sovereign Gold Bonds.

They offer 2.5% annual interest plus gold value appreciation.

Held for 8 years, they are tax-free on maturity.

Ideal for diversification and long-term safety.

Avoid physical gold due to purity and storage risks.
Avoid gold ETFs due to expense ratio and no added interest.

Special Planning for Daughter’s Higher Studies
This is a clear and high-value goal.
Timeline is 6 years, so you can take some calculated risk.

Start a separate mutual fund portfolio for this goal.

Allocate Rs. 1 crore gradually into hybrid and balanced funds.

Use 3-4 year SIP/STP mode to reduce risk.

In the fifth year, begin shifting to ultra-short-term debt funds.
This ensures capital safety before the actual outflow.

Avoid touching this portfolio for any other purpose.
Mark this as “Dedicated for Education Purpose” for clarity.

Real Estate Holding Review
You already own two houses and one farm plot.
This is already 40% of your net worth.

No need to invest further in real estate.

Maintain only one house for self-use.

Other properties can be retained for legacy or rental income.
Do not consider real estate for cash flow or liquidity.

Keep property papers and title clear.
Maintain up-to-date valuation documents and insurance.

Key Risk Management Steps
Take a Rs. 25 lakh family floater health insurance.

Add super top-up for extra cover.

Keep your term insurance active till age 60.

Ensure proper nominations in all investments.

Make a registered Will and keep it updated.

Joint holding in major investments ensures easy access.

Risk management avoids surprises.
This is as critical as choosing good investments.

Tax Management & Compliance
Use the new capital gains tax rule wisely.

Equity MF LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains on equity are taxed at 20%.

Debt MF gains are taxed as per your slab.

Plan redemption dates carefully to reduce tax outgo.

Keep a simple tracker for each investment and its tax impact.
A Chartered Accountant can assist you every March for tax planning.

Review and Monitoring
Review the portfolio every 6 months.

Check for underperformance in any scheme.

Rebalance based on market changes or life changes.

Avoid panic-based decisions during market falls.

Periodic reviews are key to financial health.
A Certified Financial Planner can help simplify this review.

Finally
Your current standing is financially strong.
You have saved well and kept liabilities away.

A structured investment plan will now build on this base.
You can now enjoy peace of mind with clarity and control.

Your daughter's education can be fully supported.
Your own future lifestyle can be secured.

This 360-degree solution focuses on growth, safety, and simplicity.

Keep investing with discipline.
Stay guided with professional help.
Keep all financial documents well organised.

Wishing you lifelong financial freedom and happiness.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |154 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?
Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.

all the best.

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