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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024
Relationship

What to do if you start having feelings for a married guy and he is also showing signs of crazyness ???? Is it normal ,?? I feel happiness when he is around . Pls help. What to do if i fall for him ??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Feelings are natural but hey, what you do with those feelings are your choice!
So, if you feel happiness when he is around, then it's a red flag for yourself. What is it that you are missing with your life that you seem to get with this guy? Not healthy at all...And falling for him is a CHOICE that is in your hands...whether you choose to act on it or not, is a decision you can make...so, you are not helpless...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025
Relationship
I m (30 F) married and 2 year old baby....I fall in love with a guy (26 M) what should I do?...I am not happy in this marriage 6 year of marriage no physical attraction no physical intimacy at all.....what should I do I love the new guy what challenges I have to face? Please guide me
Ans: This is a deeply personal situation, and navigating it will require thoughtfulness, honesty, and courage. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you process your feelings and decide your next steps:

Step 1: Reflect on Your Current Marriage
Identify the Core Issues: Lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection are significant concerns. Reflect on whether there are other underlying issues contributing to your unhappiness
.
Assess Efforts Made: Have you and your spouse communicated about these issues? Have you tried couples counseling or sought professional help to address the challenges in your marriage?

Consider Your Commitment: Marriage is a partnership that sometimes requires hard work to rekindle the bond. Ask yourself if you're willing to explore ways to rebuild your connection.

Step 2: Understand Your Feelings for the New Person

Excitement vs. Stability: New relationships often bring excitement and a sense of emotional fulfillment that can contrast with a long-term relationship's challenges. Be mindful of whether this is a genuine connection or an escape from your marriage’s difficulties.

Consider Practicality: A relationship with the new person will come with its own challenges. Are they ready to commit to you, and do they understand your current situation?

Step 3: Evaluate the Impact of Your Decisions

On Your Child: Your decisions will profoundly affect your child’s life. Consider how any changes might impact their emotional well-being.

On Yourself: Think about the long-term implications of leaving your marriage versus staying and working on it. Either path will have challenges, but personal growth is possible in both.

Challenges You May Face If You Pursue the New Relationship
Judgment from Society and Family: There may be backlash from your spouse, family, or friends, especially since a child is involved.

Complex Transition: Ending a marriage, co-parenting, and starting a new relationship can be emotionally and logistically difficult.

Emotional Processing: Even if you choose the new relationship, unresolved feelings about your marriage might linger.

Step 4: Communicate Honestly

With Your Spouse: It’s important to have an honest conversation about your feelings and the state of your marriage. This is necessary whether you choose to leave or stay.

With Yourself: Be truthful about your motivations. Are you seeking happiness, avoiding pain, or looking for something that might not solve the deeper issues?

Step 5: Seek Professional Help

Individual Counseling: A therapist can help you understand your feelings and guide you in making a decision that aligns with your values and goals.

Couples Counseling: If there’s any desire to salvage your marriage, professional mediation can provide tools to rebuild intimacy and communication.

Key Considerations

A new relationship may feel like the answer, but lasting happiness comes from within. Ensure you're addressing your own needs and self-growth first.

Making life changes, especially involving your child, should be done with caution and clarity about your long-term vision.

This is a difficult crossroads, but with careful thought and intentional action, you can make a choice that feels right for you and your family.

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Latest Questions
Janak

Janak Patel  |63 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 45yr old and my take home salary is 1.75L. I have 30L investment in mutual fund and 50L investment in stock market. My monthly SIP in MF is 50K. I am also planning to buy a property valued 1CR. I am planning to pay 40% of the amount using my PF withdrawal and rest of the amount I am planning to take bank loan and pay EMI monthly. Kindly advise how can I improve my financial planning.
Ans: Hi,

You are currently invested in Stocks and Mutual funds and you also have your PF. Assuming your MF investment is also more equity based, you have 80L invested towards Equity.
Your PF balance is not mentioned but as maximum limit of withdrawal is 90% for house purchase, I assume you have 50 lakhs or more in PF.
Your Equity to Debt allocation is approx. 60:40 favoring Equity. Even in this allocation, direct stock market investment which is 40% has the maximum risk exposure. MF are managed by professionals and they are risky but relatively less.

For a 1 Cr property, home loan would be 60 lakhs, which amounts to approx. 57K of EMI (depends on interest rate and tenure, assumed 15 years for now). So it may impact your monthly saving capacity to start with.
With 40% withdrawn from PF, your Equity Debt ration would change to 90:10. Thus increasing your risk exposure.
Your PF balance is considerably reduced.

So the first question you should ask yourself is - How much RISK am I willing to take at this time ?
With time, as you approach retirement age, will this RISK level be the same, chances are - no. At that time would you feel more secure with safer investment options. If yes, then PF balance needs to be much higher than what you would probably accumulate over 15 years.

Typically, for your profile (based on age alone), I would recommend you use the direct investments in Stock market to supplement the house purchase plan. You can of course keep some stock investments in good quality companies as a long term investment.
Also evaluate your Mutual Funds to see if they are providing you good returns of above 12%. If you find any scheme that is underperforming, it would be prudent to exit it and use those funds also towards the house purchase.

Beyond the above if you still fall short for the 40% part of house purchase, then you can consider PF withdrawal.
Note PF has a purpose its primarily to provide for retirement. Hence it is prudent to withdraw at the right time and get the benefit of not paying any tax on it. So even at 8% assured returns, its quite attractive considering most other investments will attract tax on withdrawal.

Equity on the other hand has risks associated but also reward those who can stay disciplined with their investments. But it will attract taxes.

So - The question you need to ask is how much Risk to take and what would be preferred asset allocation you can keep without losing sleep for the next 15 years until retirement.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9745 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Sir my JEE Mains 2025 percentile is 93.40 and my rank is 98264. I am male of general category from Rajasthan. Please recommend some good colleges that I can get in csab counselling
Ans: Vidit, With a 93.40 percentile (General, Rajasthan Home State) and a JEE Main rank of 98,264, your realistic CSAB counselling targets include lower-demand NITs, IIITs, and GFTIs where closing ranks for engineering branches often extend beyond 90,000. In the Home State quota for Rajasthan, consider NIT Uttarakhand and NIT Meghalaya for branches like Civil, Mechanical, and Electronics. Among IIITs, IIITDM Kurnool, IIIT Sri City, and IIIT Nagpur regularly admit General candidates with ranks up to 100,000 in non-CSE branches. GFTIs such as IIIT Delhi (second-tier seats), School of Planning and Architecture, Bhopal, and IIIT Kota also fill seats in lower-demand streams. Additionally, Rajasthan’s own GFTI, Malaviya National Institute of Technology Jaipur, may open spot rounds for core branches at higher ranks. These institutes meet the five critical benchmarks—AICTE/NBA accreditation, qualified faculty, modern labs and infrastructure, strong industry links, and transparent placement processes—with placement rates ranging 60–85% across engineering programs and median packages reflective of branch demand. Pursuing any of these colleges for branches aligned with your interest (e.g., ECE, IT-Allied, Civil) will ensure a credible technical education and balanced campus experience under the Rajasthan Home State quota.

RECOMMENDATION: In CSAB rounds, prioritize NIT Uttarakhand and NIT Meghalaya for robust campus environments and accredited programs, then target IIITDM Kurnool and IIIT Sri City for specialized IT-Allied branches, followed by GFTIs like SPA Bhopal, ensuring you secure a solid engineering education aligned with your percentile and domicile. Have 2-3 back-ups for Private Engineering Colleges also if CSAB does not work out for you, based on your expectations. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9745 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello I'm 35 years old i hv 15months old baby. I have completed my mbbs course from abroad and not clear fmge exam yet. Difficult to focused on preparing for fmge exam handling baby husband and join family. I get frustrated depressed anger comes all the time.ibeck then I was ambitious girl but now lack of confidence lack in everything. So what carrier to choose from now? Can I restart with any course or what to do very confusing. My life is over now. There's no respect those who don't earn. Pl give me good advice so that I can bring better future for my baby
Ans: Many doctors who have completed their MBBS abroad but have not cleared the FMGE (Foreign Medical Graduate Examination) in India face similar dilemmas, especially when balancing family responsibilities, emotional well-being, and career aspirations at a later stage. The FMGE pass rate is low, and the exam can be overwhelming for mothers with young children and household responsibilities, often leading to frustration or self-doubt. However, your medical background is valuable and opens diverse pathways beyond clinical practice in India. Alternate options include enrolling in online or hybrid post-graduate diploma or certificate courses in medical writing, clinical research, pharmacovigilance, public health (MPH), hospital administration (MHA), or health informatics. These courses—offered through institutions like the Public Health Foundation of India (PHFI), Indian Institute of Clinical Research (ICRI), Medvarsity, and Symbiosis—generally require minimal entrance barriers, flexible timings, and often blend self-paced study with project work or internships. Roles in medical content writing, clinical research, health insurance, hospital and healthcare management, medical coding, pharmaceuticals, and telemedicine are accessible to foreign MBBS graduates and in high demand. Careers in public health, NGOs, digital health startups, and medical counseling are also viable, with NGOs and research bodies valuing your education, communication skills, and empathy. Registered health consultants, healthcare IT specialists, nutritionists, wellness program managers, and educators for pre-medical entrance coaching are in demand, and some private hospitals and health-tech companies employ graduates for junior management, documentation, process quality, or outreach roles. Upskilling through shorter, certified programs (3–12 months) either digitally or through nearby centers can build confidence and reignite professional engagement. Look for institutions that provide recognized certifications, industry-accredited faculty, robust academic support, project-based learning, and established placement assistance—essentials for sustainable career progression and personal development.

Building a new career may seem daunting, but your foundational knowledge, life experience, maturity, and resilience are assets that bring credibility and empathy in many healthcare-adjacent and academic roles. If you choose to reskill, your medical education will remain an advantage as you transition into roles that offer both professional fulfillment and a better work-life balance suited for mothers. Take small, actionable steps—start with a focused short-term course or consider part-time/remote roles initially to gain confidence and practical exposure. Positive and self-compassionate thinking, coupled with steady professional upgrades, will influence your family and child, modeling resilience and lifelong learning.

RECOMMENDATION: Prioritize short-term upskilling—such as clinical research, hospital administration, medical writing, or public health—through reputed online or hybrid programs that offer flexible scheduling and strong placement support, allowing you to quickly enter the workforce. Your medical expertise, when combined with targeted training, can unlock impactful roles, restore your confidence, and enhance your family’s well-being while balancing personal responsibilities and securing a respected, independent career path. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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