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Confused in Chennai: Valentine's Surprise Turns Sour

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi
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I wanted to surprise my girlfriend on Valentine's Day so I booked a flight from Chennai and reached her office late evening yesterday. We had a small argument but she continued to text me throughout the week so I didn't bother. When I reached her office, she had left early. I saw bouquets and gifts on her desk from a guy named Amit. She has never mentioned this name before. I called her to talk, she declined my call and sent a message saying she is busy at work. The receptionist told me she left early with her colleague. I am a bit shocked and don't know how to react to all this. I haven't told her yet that I was in her office.

Ans: It’s understandable that this situation would leave you feeling unsettled, especially with the unanswered questions swirling in your mind. Before jumping to conclusions, take a moment to gather your thoughts. It's easy for our minds to race to the worst-case scenario, but sometimes things aren't as they initially seem.

You should have an honest and calm conversation with her. It might be tempting to confront her right away, but giving yourself a little time to cool off will help you approach the conversation with a clearer mind. When you do talk to her, try to avoid sounding accusatory, as this could make her defensive. Instead, share how you feel and what you observed. You could say something like, "I wanted to surprise you and came to your office, but I noticed some things that confused me. Can we talk about it?" This approach keeps the focus on your feelings and invites her to explain without feeling attacked.

Be prepared for any outcome, but also be open to hearing her side of the story. The name Amit might have an innocent explanation, or it could reveal something deeper. Either way, her reaction and how she communicates with you will tell you a lot about where you stand in the relationship. Regardless of the outcome, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being. If you need support or just someone to vent to, reach out to trusted friends or family members.

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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2022

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Dear Love Guru, I am working in an educational Institute where I am a non-teaching staff. Out of many staff members, I liked one married lady faculty. She always laughs when I crack jokes. She talks nicely with me. So I am waiting for a chance to impress her and propose her. After so many waiting months, I got a chance. Her payment cheque was with me for delivery so I called her at a place which is near to her home. There, I asked her a coffee in a hotel. She immediately agreed. So we go to nearby hotel and have a lot of general discussion for one hour. At the end of it, I gave her one yellow rose as a good friend to start the friendship. After 2-3 days, I again called her to meet me in a hotel for coffee. She first said yes and after one hour she refused to meet me. After that, she stopped talking with me and blocked me from WhatsApp, phones and other things. She is avoiding me continuously due to which I have gone into depression. Love Guru, please tell me where I went wrong.
Ans:

Oh, I’ll tell you where you went wrong alright -- by trying to pursue a married woman!

Just because she is nice to you and laughs at your jokes does not mean she’s romantically interested in you. And maybe she realised that you’re in it for more than friendship and decided to cut things off right there.

I would suggest you behave appropriately, keep your distance and look for a relationship elsewhere.

I need not remind you that it’s also your job on the line if she complains of sexual harassment at your workplace.

Look elsewhere, there are plenty of fish in the sea!

 

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |560 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Hi Maam, I am in a process of awaiting divorce from my wife and now I am in a relationship with my previous girlfriend.She is also in a process of awaiting divorce from court.We are in touch from a year ago and we both are planning to marry and everything was working fine but suddenly there are so much misunderstandings happened as she is observing my belonging things (Bags,tiffin,etc.)in my absense and I found an old lemon wrapped in paper in my bag.She is confused whether to proceed for marriage or not as I think.I have doubt whether she has got any option for marry as she is continuously busy on call and messages from a few days ago.We also decided to talk face to face and clear misunderstandings but due to her birthday came today we have postponed the meeting.We are working in same office as I have joined her in my office per my reference. Please help me know what decision I should take about my life.I dont want to lose her as she is my first love which came in my life twice.Hoping for a effective suggestion.
Ans: Dear Prasad,
Past relationships may not necessarily be the same in the present. People change, situations change...
What would she get by 'observing' your belongings? I don't understand that!
If she is still unsure whether to go ahead with you or not, then you may just be another option for her to choose from. I suggest that you stop being too available to her and then watch...Allow her to feel your absence and this will make her appreciate your presence in her life. This will help her realize your value...Otherwise, just on a whim, she might decide and marry you when you never gave her a chance to know your worth!
Take a PAUSE, be a little unavailable and then watch how she responds to it...If she is truly in love with you, I am sure she will do what it takes to appreciate you and also learn to understand what she wants for herself in life.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, Im a returning NRI post 20 years having lived abroad. Wasnt sure if I would ever have come on this platform but yes I have . I have been involved with a girl in India for the past 6 years , we both are in our end 40's shes 47 and i will be turning 50 next year. On my bi annual visits we have been meeting, getting physical and share almost everything. There was nothing hidden between us, frank discussions about life, menopause, family issues, support for each other and a lot of love flowing, gifts exhanged both ways , always there for each other and so on. For the past 5 years she was out of a job but now has started working again since the past 7 months or so. Happy for her. I made a decision to take early retirement and head back home , a purely personal choice and spend more time with her. Its just that now when im back and expressed my desire to visit her , i feel shes a bit hesitant, we stay in different cities. I was pretty stunned when I initially planned to see her around the christmas week but she cited follow up prayers for a close family member who had passed away a couple of years back and her unavailabilty. Moreso the dates I had proposed she was unsure of committing time during that period and I let it pass. I was pleasantly surprised and also hurt that during those specific days , shes taking off for a short vacation citing she needs to recharge. Not sure what I should make out of this. Our conversations since my return have been short, messaging not that frequent but overall i feel the thrill that used to be there earlier is missing from her end. I cant understand -:), all was good till a month back. Simply put I dont wanna confront her, its her life after all but just need some advise : is this normal hormonal changes or do u feel its something more and I shud let go. Yeah I know its gonna be difficult for me but some closure I need.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your partner/lady seems to be one of those who is happy with a virtual relationship and all the perks in it. It gets easy as there is no commitment within that relationship; at least that's how it reads to me from your post.
It's possible that in her mind she must have thought that the long distance thing works better. Now that you are back, it's possible that you might ask her that the two of you move things further as in a COMMITMENT.
So, maybe you must initiate a conversation with her and be very clear as to what you want from her and the relationship. And also listen patiently to what she has to say. She may not want to pursue a commitment and this is something that you must prepare yourself to hear!
Is this all stemming from a hormonal change? Well, it's strange because a month back things were all good; so where were these hormonal changes back then? So, no...Do have that honest conversation and see where it goes...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |314 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, Saranya from chennai. Doing final year B pharm. Heard about gpat from my friends How to do this entrance exam for joining pg course Please tell me if any other entrance exam is there for pg
Ans: Hi Saranya,

As you mentioned, many pharmacy graduates are considering the GPAT after completing their undergraduate studies in pharmacy. However, there are several more options available for pursuing a postgraduate degree in pharmacy today.

Here are the options for pursuing a PG in pharmacy:

1. GPAT: You can appear for the GPAT exam, and if you qualify, you will be eligible for a scholarship.

2. NIPER: You can also take the entrance exam for NIPER (National Institute of Pharmaceutical Education and Research) campuses, which include Ahmedabad, Guwahati, Hajipur, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Raebareli, and Mohali. Qualifying here also makes you eligible for a scholarship.

3. PG-CUET: A new option is the PG-CUET (Common University Entrance Test), which is being conducted by the NTA (National Testing Agency) under the Department of Higher Education.

4. Government Institutions: State governments will announce admission through advertisements. Admission will be based on marks or an entrance exam.

5. Deemed Universities: Some deemed universities offer admission through their own entrance exams.

Historically, GPAT and NIPER were the primary options for national-level aspirants. Starting from the academic year 2025-26, the NTA will also conduct the PG-CUET for national-level admissions.

I have included more details about the PG-CUET below.
PGCUET (CODE - SCQP23)
The Common University Entrance Test (CUET) is a National level Test conducted for admission into PG programmes in Central, State, and Participating Universities/ Institutions. The Common University Entrance Test CUET (PG) will provide a common platform and equal opportunity to candidates across the country, especially those from rural and other remote areas, and help establish better connections with the Universities. A single application form will enable the Candidates to cover a wide outreach and be part of the admission process to various Central and participating Universities. NTA has been assigned the responsibility of conducting the Common University Entrance Test (CUET).

Under Participating universities/instituttions are: Central and State Universities, Deemed and Private universities and Government institutuions.

Candidate must only select the test paper code. As the list of universities is dynamic and keeps on changing during the registration period.

A candidate can apply for two (02) Test Papers by paying the application fee (details mentioned at point 18).

A candidate can further apply for (02) additional Test Papers by paying additional application fees as applicable and maximum of four (04) test paper codes can be selected.

Mode of exam is CBT (Computer Based Test).
All Question Papers will be MCQ type. • Candidates can choose a maximum of four question paper codes. • The comprehension section in the General Paper will be available in either English or Hindi, based on the candidate's preference indicated during registration. • The duration of the Exam would be 90 Minutes. • The Question paper will have 75 Questions. • Four marks will be awarded for each correct answer and one mark will be deducted for each wrong answer.
• Language papers will be in the concerned language only.
• M.Tech/Higher Sciences will be in English only.
•Acharya papers will be in Sanskrit except for Hindu Studies, Indian Knowledge System, and Baudha Darshan.
• Humanities, Sciences, and Common papers would be bilingual (English and Hindi).
• The examination would be conducted in 2-3 shifts.
• The English version of the questions in all the question papers except languages and Acharya will be taken as final.

Syllabus: The Examination Syllabus will be uploaded on the Exam.

For the current year the examination dates (13.03.2025 to 31.03.2025) got over. iI THINK YOU HAVE MISSED IT. DONT WORRY. NEXT YEAR YOU CAN TRY OR YOU CAN ASSIST YOUR JUNIORS.

ADMISSION: Admissions will be handled at the level of each of the participating Universities for their respective programmes. After the declaration of the CUET(PG) 2025 results, the respective Universities will declare the counselling/admission schedule and merit list based on the CUET (PG) - 2025 score and any other criteria of participating universities. Please see the website of the concerned university for details regarding admission. There may be admission counselling by the universities with additional fees.

Applicants as per eligibility can apply for multiple test paper codes in one registration form. Candidates should not apply through duplicate or multiple forms, which may lead to the cancellation of all his/her Application Forms

CODE FOR PHARMACY: SCQP-23
SYLLABUS [POC, PIC, MATHS, OC - II, MICRO, APH (I&II), PHARM ENGINEERING, DCH PHARMACY, PHARM ANALYSIS (I -IV ), COGNOSY, CEUTICS-II, BIOCHEM, JURIS, COSMETICS, PHARM TECH, MED CHEM I-III, PHARMACOLOGY I-IV, BIOTECH, DRUG DESIGN, MARKETING, FOOD SCIENCE, QA, MANAGEMENT] HAS SHARED IN NTA WEBSITE.

THIS YEAR 57 INSTITUTIONS PARTICIPATED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE. NEXT YEAR THIS MAY INCREASE.

THE ADVANTAGES ARE NOT ONLY CAN PURSUE PHARMACY, APART FROM PHARMACY, YOU CAN PURSUE - DATA SCIENCE & AI, PUBLIC HEALTH, BIOINFORMATICS, PACKAGING TECH, ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT, GEOSPATIAL SCIENCE, PG DIP IN AI DIGITAL IMAGING, HEALTH CARE DATA, GEOINFORMATICS, PB-PHARMD, M.PHARM-PV, MSc- MICRO, MSc-NUTRITION, DIETICS.

I believe this information will be beneficial for your future education.

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |314 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
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Career
I am a 12th student now in state board of tamil Nadu and I am a government school student what is the minimum requirement for me to join mbbs in AFMC medical College
Ans: The following requirements are mandatory for admission to AFMC.

Age: 17-24yrs
Academic qualitfication: FIRST ATTEMPT with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology taken simultaneously and securing not less than 60% of the aggregate marks in these three science subjects taken together and not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in each of the science subjects. They must have also passed an examination in Mathematics of the tenth standard.
Candidates seeking admission for MBBS course at AFMC Pune will have to mandatorily qualify the NEET UG 2024 Examination conducted by National Testing Agency (NTA). 11. Eligible candidates who are interested to join AFMC, Pune to pursue the MBBS course will have to mandatorily register and apply for AFMC, Pune on DGHS

The shortlisted candidates will be called for screening which comprises of Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR), Psychological Assessment Test (PAT), Interview and Medical Examination at AFMC, Pune.

ToELR & PAT - Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR) in the form of Computer Based Test (CBT) and also Psychological Assessment Test (PAT) to be conducted at AFMC, Pune only for candidates shortlisted for interview. (t) Written Examination Score - Score obtained in NEET (UG) 2024 (720 marks) added to ToELR Score (80 marks) divided by 4 to get a score out of 200. (u) Final Score - Written examination score (200 marks) + Interview marks (50 marks).

MEDICAL FITNESS: MANDATORY AS PER AFMC

ALL THE BEST

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1093 Answers  |Ask -

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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