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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |180 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Shubhi Question by Shubhi on Aug 19, 2024
Relationship

He has this strong affinity towards some personality traits.. for example fluency and frequency in spoken English. I prefer talking in Hindi most of the time as I feel more comfortable in it conveying my feelings. Thats one part. Secondly, he feels that I don't let go of my inhibitions to freely enjoy..be it dance or singing. I am shy. Its not that I am all closed. Now he feels that it was wrong on his part to try to change someone and he is ready to make peace with it. But in response to that, I should also not expect the full expression of romance from him because his ability to do so comes naturally from the part he is ready to compromise.

Ans: it is tough to respond to all of this over text, a conversation will be much helpful

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am a 35-year-old woman and my husband is 45. we are made for each other couple. we love each other and we do not have any compatibility issues except in romance. he is not very romantic and even throughout my younger years I was also not very romantic and immersed myself in studies and career. He is not very active in sex also. A few years back I told him that I wanted to be romantic after marriage and now we are not, so I missed my college and early office days when I was in my prime and could have been romantically involved with guys. Since I look very young even at 35, he suggested that I still can move around with guys and get romantic and I need not miss anything even now. though initially declining the offer, I moved a little freely toward men, mostly colleagues, and a few social club members. I encouraged late-night messages, coffee meets, movies, etc. I update my husband on every single event that happens. ex, if I went to a movie with a colleague, I will message my hubby " We kissed", if that happened. he encourages me so much and is happy with whatever is happening, cutting a long story short. though I didn't think it would go so far, I am now romantically very active. soft romance-like messages I do with many. Dating I don't say no to my known circle like colleagues, ex-colleagues, college mates, etc and almost 2-3 times a week I end up dating someone in a coffee shop, pub, or a long drive. A few times I initiate a date too. and I must confess that I have regular intimacy with four young men, all from the same office where I work. I have never hidden anything from my hubby and give a complete account every day. I offered to stop everything any moment he said. but he told me till age is there enjoy life!. I am emotionally connected to my husband only and I do all my responsibilities as a woman. Our relationship has grown manifold. My only question is, am I exploiting my husband's innocence or does he have a cuckold fantasy? If I continue the way I continue with no harm to anyone, can I keep doing it ( I love to). or I should stop at once?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

After reading your question I understood that your partner and you have, what we call, an open relationship. As long as both partners are okay with the dynamics of it, and no one is emotionally hurt, or resisting, it should be okay. It isn't exploitation if your husband himself encourages you. You are both consenting adults and not harming each other or anyone else. As for your question, if he has a cuckold fantasy, that is something you should discuss with your husband. An open discussion is better than speculation. Also, at any time if you suspect that your husband is growing concerned about the nature of your relationship, ask him directly. It can help avoid misunderstandings.


Best Wishes

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

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Hello. I am dating someone from almost 4 years. During those years, our relationship has grown to the extent that we know we are pretty much compatible in aspects such as values, friendship, vulnerability, understanding and support. But one or two factors have always been a hurdle in commitment for a marriage which he himself consider as superficial but is not able to completely let go of. So, he suggests that we can compromise on those factors, and focus on other positives. The problem is that he feels that we don't have that romantic spark and chemistry which he had imagined. But he is ready to settle on that, and thus, I also shouldn't expect his 100 percent response in romance. I don't know how to take this statement. I never felt that missing part; I never asked for grand romantic gestures. I did complain sometimes about basic expressions of romance. I feel his approach as if it is some sort of calculation with no instinctive feeling. And how do I not take this comment as personal.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can skim over aspects that are superficial but how do you turn a blind eye when it's about romance and chemistry. Isn't that one of the major aspects?
I would suggest that the two of you talk this over and let not either of you compromise over this. Because once you do, it's bound to come out in bigger ways later in the relationship. Of course, it does come across as a personal comment and he is possibly trying to cover it up by saying that he is ready to settle. NO! It's not a favor, BUT you also must know whether the two of you are compatible as a couple. Treat this comment of his as a sign that there is something missing. Now how important this is, is something for the two of you to evaluate. But at no point must this become a thing of argument between the two of you!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

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Dr Dipankar

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

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