Hi I am a 35-year-old woman and my husband is 45. we are made for each other couple. we love each other and we do not have any compatibility issues except in romance. he is not very romantic and even throughout my younger years I was also not very romantic and immersed myself in studies and career. He is not very active in sex also. A few years back I told him that I wanted to be romantic after marriage and now we are not, so I missed my college and early office days when I was in my prime and could have been romantically involved with guys. Since I look very young even at 35, he suggested that I still can move around with guys and get romantic and I need not miss anything even now. though initially declining the offer, I moved a little freely toward men, mostly colleagues, and a few social club members. I encouraged late-night messages, coffee meets, movies, etc. I update my husband on every single event that happens. ex, if I went to a movie with a colleague, I will message my hubby " We kissed", if that happened. he encourages me so much and is happy with whatever is happening, cutting a long story short. though I didn't think it would go so far, I am now romantically very active. soft romance-like messages I do with many. Dating I don't say no to my known circle like colleagues, ex-colleagues, college mates, etc and almost 2-3 times a week I end up dating someone in a coffee shop, pub, or a long drive. A few times I initiate a date too. and I must confess that I have regular intimacy with four young men, all from the same office where I work. I have never hidden anything from my hubby and give a complete account every day. I offered to stop everything any moment he said. but he told me till age is there enjoy life!. I am emotionally connected to my husband only and I do all my responsibilities as a woman. Our relationship has grown manifold. My only question is, am I exploiting my husband's innocence or does he have a cuckold fantasy? If I continue the way I continue with no harm to anyone, can I keep doing it ( I love to). or I should stop at once?

Hello Anu ma’am, I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores. I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory. The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core. All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone. We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time. I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way. If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.Thanks a lot for reading this.

Hi Anu, it's been 5 years of my marriage. From the last few months I am feeling disconnected from my husband. I ask him about it. He mentioned that he met a guy somewhere in November and had a one-night stand with him. He explained to me the initiation was from him and that he likes him. After few days of conversation with him my husband started having feelings for him. But it was for limited time period coz that guy was trying on someone else or many others (according to my husband) A few days earlier he mentioned that he is being confused if he is gay or straight. He now has feeling for another guy but he has a family and sees him as friend. My husband is continuously telling me to understand him. He needs to find him etc etc... And deep down I know he has no future with any other man. He doesn't feel any physical attraction towards me (it's what I think). I do like him. Physically also. But he doesn't. We don't have any child. He is 36, I am 34.Now I am super confused what to do. I do love him. Please help.

Hi Anu, I'm 53 years and have been married for the past 27 years. I have a 25 year daughter. I am well educated (MBA) and my husband has just barely passed his BA. My husband used to be very short tempered and shout at me for every other thing since the beginning of our marriage. Also he used to do the same to our daughter. He also has a thing for women other than me/daughter...He loves staring at servants especially when they bend down, or while travelling in a train he likes watching girls/ladies climbing on the upper berth, or peeping into an autorickshaw to check out the lady inside. He also loves helping out ladies, (like their saviour) and will go to any extent even late at night to help them out (like carrying a sick colleague to the doctor, or finding a PG for a female person). He has even gone on tour with his lady colleague and called her home for office work when I and my daughter were at our native. Also he has given rides to female colleagues on the back of his scooter. He loves chatting up receptionists (be it at the doctor's or any other office) and joking with them. He is also obsessive with the personal problems of his brothers/their wives and their kids...giving them far more importance over and above us. Especially since the past 2 years when he lost his job due to corona pandemic, he has time now and will call them day in and day out trying to solve their problems and has also prayed ceaselessly for them, asked various astrologers for parihara for their problems etc. He is not at all worried about his own family facing a breakdown and no income. He is trying to start a cool-drink business with his partner but that is getting delayed because of the rainy season. I had visited a psychiatrist many years ago and he said I shouldn't take it so personally since this happens all the time where men and women interact in office and we can't prevent it. But I believe he is excessive in his interest in the opp sex, and he also treats me in a demeaning/derogatory manner...like trying to dominate over me and suppress me through the tone of his voice and shouting and trying to be one up. I have borne all this for 27 years for my daughter's sake and now that she is independent, I would like to separate from him for my own mental and physical health. My nature is mild and I do not like confrontations so I just end up crying. I am also not strong emotionally. I am already on anxiety and BP medication, and also get palpitations when I get upset. Please advise me Anu, on should I proceed with this separation. Marital counselling is ruled out since he will never attend it thinking that he is all perfect and I am the one having problems. My daughter is coming next week and she will support me fully in whatever decision I take. Thank you so much for your time and patience.

In my marriage since the very inception my wife was and is still "sexually immature". I wonder if i am able to make you understand the situation. For the first nine years of marriage she simply resisted/avoided insertion, and finally after compelling her for counselling, etc. she gave in one day, so to say, which led to intercourse on a few occasions and she conceived. Almost 30 years down the line she was simply not interested in intercourse which has become extremely frustrating for me having a great libido. So i have become a man with a roving eye and perennially seek companionship/love/sex with the opposite sex. I wonder if i should feel guilty about it (however i don't feel guilty). As i am kind of personable and engage easily even at the ripe old age of 66, i continue to have a number of girl- friends (married/unmarried). In other words i flirt quite a bit, its become second nature to me. Girls in general take a liking to me too. Not that i am not friendly with my wife. We have a very loving relationship on a level which is not at all sexual. She keeps home very well and takes full care of me other than the sexual aspect. In other words sex is completely out of our relationship. You might not be seeing cases like this often. So i am always kind of sexually alive when i am out of the house. Now if you were to advise me to repair our relationship, take steps etc, i think we have kind of passed that stage primarily because she is peculiarly missing in the vital sex vibrations. I wonder if you understand me. I would like to have your views on all that i have explained. Shall be grateful to have some insights.

Hello. I am dating someone from almost 4 years. During those years, our relationship has grown to the extent that we know we are pretty much compatible in aspects such as values, friendship, vulnerability, understanding and support. But one or two factors have always been a hurdle in commitment for a marriage which he himself consider as superficial but is not able to completely let go of. So, he suggests that we can compromise on those factors, and focus on other positives. The problem is that he feels that we don't have that romantic spark and chemistry which he had imagined. But he is ready to settle on that, and thus, I also shouldn't expect his 100 percent response in romance. I don't know how to take this statement. I never felt that missing part; I never asked for grand romantic gestures. I did complain sometimes about basic expressions of romance. I feel his approach as if it is some sort of calculation with no instinctive feeling. And how do I not take this comment as personal.