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Corporate Job, Long Hours, Feeling Like Roommates: Can I Save My Relationship?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I’m a 32-year-old guy working in a corporate job with crazy hours. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but in the last one year, I feel like we’ve become more like roommates than partners. Our conversations have become short, our intimacy feels forced, and honestly, I think she’s getting tired of my work-first attitude. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m also struggling to find a balance between my career and my relationship. How do I balance the both?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure work is bringing in more than just satisfaction at this point in time for you...But for your girlfriend, she misses your care, love and attention that she is used to from you.
How do you manage this gap?
Firstly, talk to her about work and why you seem to be giving that more time. At times, communicating this can give the other person an understanding of what you are going through and will be able to support you better.
Secondly, give her a time period until when you will be busy. Knowing this will give her an idea that this isn't about to go on and on.
Next, ask yourself: Am I using work to stay busy and run away from something?

The last question put onus on you to know what exactly is happening inside your mind and help you course correct. Also, you and girlfriend sit down and drop down your couple goals and larger life goals. You will both have clarity on whether you both are moving in different directions and that will help in discussing how to bring things back.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 years in a live-in relationship. Before that we were good friends and she's 3 years elder to me. There came a situation that she was depressed due to something and I was supporting her which she thought as my love. We started this relationship although there was no serious commitment from my side.We had a good relationship, good moments. She paid my bills all the time even when I insisted, but there were lots of fights.I feel she never understood me or anything I said or my thought process. I don't think I really love her, because there is no spark and tried ending it many times.In frustration I even started looking for other people so that maybe I can come out of it but she would find out and make me stay with her with some or other reason.She's a very polite and sweet person and I don't want to be hurting her. She's asking me to marry her which is making me nervous. What do I do ?
Ans:

Dear A,

Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?

Was it a relationship for her and not for you?

I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.

It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.

Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.

Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.

This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.

Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, my girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 years in a live-in relationship. Before that we were good friends and she's 3 years elder to me. There came a situation that she was depressed due to something and I was supporting her which she thought as my love. We started this relationship although there was no serious commitment from my side.We had a good relationship, good moments. She paid my bills all the time even when I insisted, but there were lots of fights.I feel she never understood me or anything I said or my thought process. I don't think I really love her, because there is no spark and tried ending it many times.In frustration I even started looking for other people so that maybe I can come out of it but she would find out and make me stay with her with some or other reason.She's a very polite and sweet person and I don't want to be hurting her. She's asking me to marry her which is making me nervous. What do I do ?
Ans:

Dear A,

Kindly as yourself: what was the Live-in relationship?

Was it a relationship for her and not for you?

I really don’t understand what you mean by: She thought of your support as Love and that you were not serious commitment from your side.

It’s possible when you both were in a Live-in arrangement, she would have considered this as a relationship and become serious about it.

Since now it has gotten into a marriage stage for her, please respect her mind space and have a serious talk about this.

Take consideration of her feelings when you convey yours.

This is going to take some effort as you ease her into a space where she understands where you are in this connection.

Getting into another relationship for a distraction might not be a great idea; so do spend some time very amicably closing this one where the two of you can be mature about this.

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in 6 years relationship with my girlfriend. Recently I don't feel the vibes with my girlfriend. She judges me a lot in each aspect, I can adjust upto certain limits, but she other 3-4 days finds a reason to get upset about me. We patch up only if I win her over , this has happened a couple of 100 times. Please suggest, I am getting this feeling that I must chase something better. I have talked with her , that if she doesn't like me then marry other guy. She says, it's my decision, you don't teach me anything. After few days she becomes normal. What should I do , I m confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are facing these problems. First of all, the spark fizzling out in a relationship is very normal, especially in a long-term relationship. You have two options-

One- tell her about your concerns. The fact that the constant quarrels bother you should be expressed in words. You can't assume that your partner will get it by herself. After having a clear discussion about the same, both of you can put equal effort into bringing back the initial spark. Try spending more quality time, pursue some shared hobbies, learn to problem-solve without getting into a heated fight, and more.

Two- you can reconsider this relationship. Once you have tried everything from your end to make things better and tried to reason with your partner but she is still keeping up the same temperament or you are still facing the same issues, you are allowed to rethink your choice to be with her. It's okay to put yourself first once in a while. It is a relationship today; tomorrow it will be a marriage and if things are still not going great, both of you might end up regretting it.

But before going to the second option, try the first.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7615 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi sir Am 39 years ,working and I have an mutual fund portfolio of 42 L investment in large ,middle and small cap funds, I want to retire by 2030 with an corpus of 2cr. Currently am planning to invest lump sump 15 lakh. Is it possible to achive the target? Can you give me the advice
Ans: Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Your mutual fund portfolio of Rs 42 lakh across large, mid, and small-cap funds is a great start.

Diversification across these categories provides a balance of stability, growth, and potential higher returns.

However, reviewing your portfolio periodically is critical to ensure alignment with your financial goals.

Large-cap funds offer stability but grow slower, while small and mid-caps have higher potential with more risk.

With Rs 42 lakh already invested, consistent growth over the next seven years will matter.

Evaluating Your Retirement Goal
You aim to accumulate Rs 2 crore by 2030.
This implies that your investments must grow at an appropriate rate annually.
Considering your lump sum investment plan of Rs 15 lakh, your overall corpus will increase substantially.
However, achieving Rs 2 crore will depend on market performance and consistent fund review.
Insights on Your Investment Plan
Investing Rs 15 lakh in one go is strategic but requires careful fund selection.

Actively managed mutual funds can help you generate better returns over the years.

Avoid index funds, as they offer limited potential to outperform the market.

Actively managed funds, guided by a certified financial planner, help align your portfolio with your goals.

Direct funds may seem cost-effective, but they lack professional advice.

Regular funds, through an MFD with CFP credentials, provide guidance and periodic review.

Tax Implications
Equity mutual funds’ LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%. For debt funds, both STCG and LTCG follow your income tax slab.
Considering these tax rules, strategically plan redemptions closer to retirement.
Steps to Achieve Your Target
Step 1: Review and Realign Your Portfolio
Check if your current funds align with your goal and risk appetite.
Ensure a balance between large, mid, and small-cap funds for growth and stability.
Allocate a portion to flexi-cap or balanced advantage funds for risk-adjusted returns.
Step 2: Invest the Lump Sum Strategically
Avoid investing Rs 15 lakh in one fund or at one time.
Consider systematic transfer plans (STP) for gradual investment into equity funds.
This approach helps manage market volatility and ensures disciplined investing.
Step 3: Focus on Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, guided by professionals, outperform market indices.
Avoid index funds due to their limited scope for alpha generation.
Regular funds with expert advice can ensure proper asset allocation and rebalancing.
Step 4: Increase SIP Contributions
If feasible, start additional SIPs to boost your corpus steadily.
SIPs instill disciplined investing and benefit from rupee cost averaging.
Step 5: Reinvest Dividends
Opt for a growth option instead of dividend payouts in mutual funds.
This reinvests earnings, accelerating your portfolio growth.
Step 6: Monitor Your Portfolio
Periodically review your portfolio's performance and rebalance when needed.
Ensure your investments align with your risk profile and market conditions.
Managing Risks
Your portfolio should be diversified across sectors and fund categories.
Avoid over-concentration in any single fund or asset class.
Rebalancing is crucial to ensure your portfolio stays aligned with your risk tolerance.
Retirement Planning Beyond Investments
Inflation Consideration
Account for inflation, which can erode your purchasing power.
Choose funds that can generate inflation-beating returns consistently.
Contingency Fund
Maintain a contingency fund equal to 6-12 months of expenses.
This protects your long-term investments during emergencies.
Health Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage for unforeseen medical expenses.
This avoids depleting your investment corpus for healthcare needs.
Retirement Expenses
Identify your post-retirement expenses, considering inflation and lifestyle needs.
Plan to cover essential and discretionary expenses without financial strain.
Final Insights
Your Rs 42 lakh mutual fund portfolio and Rs 15 lakh lump sum investment have potential.
Strategic planning, disciplined investing, and periodic review are vital for success.
Focus on actively managed funds and avoid direct funds for professional guidance.
With consistent effort, achieving Rs 2 crore by 2030 is realistic.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7615 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Money
I want to create a corpus of 1 cr in next 10 years. I am doing a sip of 10k from last 5 years. What should i do and how much should i save now monthly and in what options?
Ans: You aim to accumulate Rs. 1 crore in 10 years. Achieving this requires a disciplined savings strategy and optimal investments. Your current SIP of Rs. 10,000 per month for the past 5 years is a great start. However, adjustments are necessary to reach your goal. Let’s create a step-by-step plan.

Understanding Your Current SIP Contributions
Current Progress

Your existing SIPs have built a decent corpus over 5 years.
Equity mutual funds provide growth, especially if the portfolio is well-diversified.
Impact of Time

Compounding needs both time and sufficient contributions.
To achieve Rs. 1 crore in 10 years, you’ll need to increase your SIP contributions.
How Much to Save Monthly
Additional SIP Contributions Needed
Review your target and adjust your SIP contributions.
Based on current market trends, increasing SIP to Rs. 20,000-25,000 monthly could help.
This will ensure you stay on track to meet your goal in the next 10 years.
Investment Options to Consider
Actively Managed Equity Mutual Funds

Actively managed funds offer better growth potential than index funds.
Fund managers help optimise returns by navigating market opportunities.
Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds for balanced growth.
Avoid Index Funds for Higher Returns

Index funds follow the market and may not outperform actively managed funds.
Actively managed funds provide a better opportunity for long-term wealth creation.
Hybrid Funds for Stability

Hybrid funds balance equity and debt exposure, reducing volatility.
Allocate a small portion to hybrid funds to stabilise the portfolio.
Systematic Investments Over Lump Sums

Continue SIPs as they help average out market volatility.
Avoid lump-sum investments unless the market shows a significant correction.
Tax-Efficient Investing
Minimise Tax Liabilities

Equity mutual funds offer better post-tax returns compared to debt funds.
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax of 12.5% applies only if gains exceed Rs. 1.25 lakh.
Avoid Frequent Redemptions

Keep investments for the long term to minimise short-term capital gains tax of 20%.
Regularly Review Your Investments
Monitor Portfolio Performance

Review your mutual fund portfolio annually.
Ensure funds are consistently outperforming their benchmarks.
Rebalance Periodically

Adjust equity and debt allocations as needed.
Maintain a higher equity allocation for the next 6-8 years, reducing it closer to the goal.
Emergency Fund and Insurance
Maintain an Emergency Fund

Ensure you have 6-12 months of expenses in liquid assets.
This protects your investments during unforeseen financial needs.
Adequate Insurance Coverage

Review your term insurance to ensure it matches your financial responsibilities.
Consider health insurance coverage to avoid medical emergencies impacting investments.
Avoid Common Pitfalls
Avoid Direct Mutual Funds

Direct funds lack personalised guidance.
Invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who can provide tailored advice.
Stay Consistent

Avoid stopping SIPs during market downturns.
SIPs benefit from market corrections by purchasing more units at lower prices.
Don’t Time the Market

Focus on long-term growth rather than trying to predict short-term market movements.
Final Insights
Reaching Rs. 1 crore in 10 years is achievable with disciplined savings and smart investments. Increase your SIP contributions to Rs. 20,000-25,000 monthly, focusing on actively managed funds. Review your portfolio regularly, rebalance when needed, and maintain financial safeguards like an emergency fund and insurance. These steps will ensure you meet your goal confidently and efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7615 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

Money
Hello Sir/Madam, My age is 31,I got married in 2021, and I have a one-year-old son. I work as a digital marketing professional, earning ?80,000 per month. I have a home loan of ?20.30 lakhs that started in 2020. I am currently paying an EMI of ?18,000 per month, and since last year, I have been paying an additional ?4,000 per month. I am also planning to make a ?1 lakh prepayment from next year, for which I am saving ?5,000 per month to close it earlier. For investments, I have been doing an SIP of ?5,000 per month for the last two years, which I increased to ?10,000 last year for my retirement planning. Additionally, I have a ?50 lakh term insurance policy and am currently building an emergency fund. I believe I am managing my investment journey well, except for the house. Could you please suggest some points to enhance this journey?
Ans: At the age of 31, you are on a solid financial footing with a clear understanding of your goals. You're actively managing your finances, including taking steps toward early repayment of your home loan, building an emergency fund, and investing for retirement. These actions show discipline and foresight, which are key to long-term financial success.

Let's review your current financial situation and suggest some enhancements to improve your financial journey.

Strengths of Your Current Financial Plan
Income and Savings

Earning Rs. 80,000 per month is a strong base for savings and investments.
You're already contributing Rs. 10,000 per month towards your retirement through SIPs.
Saving Rs. 5,000 monthly for prepayment of your home loan is a prudent approach.
Home Loan Repayment Strategy

You have an active strategy to reduce your home loan faster by paying an additional Rs. 4,000 per month.
The Rs. 1 lakh prepayment plan from next year will significantly reduce your interest burden.
Insurance Coverage

You have a Rs. 50 lakh term insurance policy.
This coverage ensures your family's financial security in case of an untimely event.
Investment for Retirement

Your SIP investments are steadily growing, and increasing your SIP from Rs. 5,000 to Rs. 10,000 is a great move.
The goal of building wealth for retirement is well-defined.
Areas for Improvement
While your current strategy is strong, there are a few areas where you can make adjustments for greater efficiency and financial strength.

1. Home Loan Prepayment Strategy
Evaluate Loan Prepayment Impact

You're saving Rs. 5,000 a month for a Rs. 1 lakh prepayment. This will help reduce the principal, but it’s important to assess the long-term benefits.
Consider reallocating some funds from your emergency fund or monthly savings into a lump-sum prepayment, as this will reduce the overall interest burden faster.
A quicker reduction of principal can result in significant savings on interest payments over time.
Opt for a Balance Between Loan Prepayment and Investments

Prioritize investments for long-term growth, especially equity-based funds, to take advantage of compounding.
Ensure that prepayment does not come at the cost of your investment goals, particularly for retirement.
Reassess Interest Rates

If your home loan interest rate is high, consider refinancing to a lower rate, if possible.
This can save you money on interest and reduce your overall financial burden.
2. Investment Strategy for Retirement
Review Asset Allocation

While you are investing in SIPs for retirement, it is essential to regularly assess your asset allocation.
Diversify across equity funds, debt funds, and hybrid funds to ensure balanced growth.
Since you are young, maintaining a higher allocation towards equity will offer greater growth potential. However, ensure you periodically reduce equity exposure as you approach retirement age.
Active Mutual Funds vs Direct Plans

You mentioned your SIPs; I recommend you invest through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential rather than opting for direct plans.
While direct plans save on commissions, they may lack the ongoing advice and portfolio adjustments that an MFD offers, particularly as your financial situation evolves.
Investing through an MFD with CFP certification can provide professional guidance on asset allocation, tax-efficient strategies, and portfolio rebalancing.
Plan for Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs)

As you build your retirement corpus, consider shifting towards a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) to convert your lump sum investment into a regular income post-retirement.
This option offers flexibility and ensures a steady income stream while maintaining the growth potential of your invested corpus.
3. Emergency Fund Management
Adequate Emergency Fund Size

You're in the process of building an emergency fund, which is essential.
Ensure that your emergency fund covers at least 6-12 months of living expenses, including your EMI payments.
Invest this fund in liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds, which provide better returns than a savings account, yet offer easy access when needed.
Reassess Emergency Fund Allocations

Once your fund reaches the target, consider rebalancing the amount, based on your current lifestyle and expenses.
As your income increases over time, you might need to adjust the size of the emergency fund accordingly.
4. Insurance and Financial Security
Review Insurance Coverage

Your Rs. 50 lakh term insurance is a good start, but it's important to evaluate whether it adequately covers your family's future needs.
As your income and responsibilities grow, you may want to consider increasing the coverage to ensure your family's financial security in case of any unforeseen events.
Consider Health Insurance

In addition to life insurance, health insurance is a critical aspect of financial security.
Ensure that you have adequate health insurance coverage for yourself and your family, especially considering the rising healthcare costs.
Look for comprehensive family floater plans or top-up policies that provide extensive coverage.
5. Tax Efficiency and Retirement Planning
Tax Planning for SIPs and Prepayments

When investing for retirement, be mindful of the tax implications.
Equity-based funds are subject to long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax, but the tax rate is lower than debt funds.
Debt funds are taxed as per the income tax slab, so a balanced approach to equity and debt investments will help optimize your taxes.
Utilize Tax-Saving Instruments

Continue investing in tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, or tax-saving fixed deposits under Section 80C.
NPS also offers additional tax benefits, and it would complement your retirement planning well.
6. Long-Term Financial Goals Beyond Retirement
Child’s Education Fund

With a young son, his education is likely to be a major financial goal in the coming years.
Begin investing in child-focused funds, which will ensure that the education corpus grows in line with inflation.
Plan for his higher education expenses early to ensure that you can comfortably meet his needs when the time arrives.
Increase SIP Contributions

As your income grows, increase your SIP contributions over time.
Aim to contribute a larger portion towards retirement savings, taking advantage of compounding.
Final Insights
Your financial journey is already on a good track. By enhancing your loan repayment strategy, optimizing your investments for retirement, ensuring tax efficiency, and safeguarding your family’s health and future, you will build a strong and resilient financial foundation. Focus on regular reviews of your asset allocation, increasing your SIP contributions, and balancing debt repayment with long-term investment goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |942 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2025

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Career
While writing this message, I am very shameful and guilty ???? about my marks to share with you sir.my Cat score 50%ile Xat: 35%ile Snap:40%ile Nmat:198 marks ???????????????????? I am Requesting ????????????????????????you an advice sir! I graduated in 2024 May in b.com! These exams were my first attempt. Now I am 22yrs old. At Present I am not doing any job, didn't have any course. at home there is a lot of pressure to join any b school. With these scores I don't get any colleges . I want to do an MBA in best b school. Sir how was SDA Bocconi? Will get I get with my nmat score? Should I apply for it?Sir with lot of pressure I am requesting you to give me a guidance ???????? will I join any b-school? If yes Name some best colleges with my scores? (Or) I am fresher will I search and do a job along with cat 2025 prep? Sir by seeing these scores :( If I prepare for cat this year will I crack? I want to give cat this year with very efficient and indepth practice by seeing these scores. Sir I am thinking that I want to give CUET PG to get best university seat to do an MBA like in BHU,JNU...so that I can prepare for cat 2025. How will be the career from doing MBA from Central universities.is there any problem doing MBA along with cat precisely? Is this good thing.? Or will I change my plan? If I prepare for this year. What about GAP year? How should I cover this Sir?? this is very important question. Pls sir ???????? i need suppport from you! As I discussed with my family about job. We have a small Tea business. I will help my parents and study. Present At home family condition is bad(parents health). we have a Brother,He is our family well wisher, behalf of his guidance i started to prepare for this exam and scored very bad. Now he is saying to prepare again for this year with lot of commitment and hard work. But He and my family is saying Not to do Job, work at Tea business and prepare for this year very hardly. Is this good decision.? Will it cover GAP year like doing family business? Thank you ???????? sir
Ans: SDA Bocconi may not accept 198 nmat score, but they have their own test if you want to try. With 198 NMAT, can try for IBS (ICFAI) and other colleges that accept the scores. Can also write ATMA, and MAT that will be held in Feb March so that you have more options to apply to. About repeating a year you can decide once this years cycle for admission is complete.

...Read more

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