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Can't Avoid Past Trauma: Overthinking and Doubt in New Relationship

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I was in a controlling relationship a few years ago. Even though my current partner is nothing like that, I find myself overthinking, doubting, and sometimes pulling away when they get too close. How do I stop sabotaging something good because of what I went through before?

Ans: Hello mam, I understand that you are having overthinking regarding your present relationship coz of your past. But we need to learn to let go of past, otherwise our present will be ruined coz of overthinking and insecurities. Think positive and try to engage yourself in some positive activities like Book reading, yoga, meditation etc. You can also take some sessions from counselor. Practice mindfulness. I hope it solves your problem.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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I am 35, I had a major break up with my long-term girlfriend 7 years ago. Although it's been so long, I still find myself replaying all the moments where I think I might have gone wrong. I feel like I let myself and the other person down, and it’s hard to stop blaming myself. How do I move past this cycle of self-criticism and start fresh?
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Hi, I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for almost three years now. I’ve recently started dating again. I met some great people, but I can’t seem to stop overthinking every little thing. Like, did I text too much? Was I too quiet during the date? Why did he take 5 hours to reply? Honestly, it’s exhausting, and it’s making me feel like I’m self-sabotaging potential connections. I know I’m a good person and have a lot to offer, but my mind just won’t stop analysing. How can I stop overthinking every interaction and just enjoy the dating process without this constant mental chatter?
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
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