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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.

Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Relationship
Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I and boyfriend is kept on trying to get married by there’s three things we felt we couldn’t help. 1. Convincing his parents 2. Convincing my parents 3. A marriage to happen from different religion. Struggling to come across this we thought we’ll stay just the same without getting married. But the reality is like I need a mental support being a single child without father and a sick mum to be taken care I can’t randomly just leave my mother and come. He understood that and he said we’ll wait but I don’t know how long I have to cos I’m already feeling done with all the family and relative issues that came in because of these things. Now we have solved his side problem that his parents are now happy to have me as their DIL but then we are stuck with whom I have to convince is it my sick mother who doesn’t understand things and not ready to come with me also or my mother’s mother, grandmother who never understands the reality of today’s life and my mother’s elder brother who has never cared about my life earlier but claimed to have been responsible all these days. It was me who took all the effort to make it to a position where I’m independent financially but then because he said he’d fund my marriage it’s been told that I was wrong in terms of my decision in choosing my boyfriend. Though he knows he’s a nice person, he refuses considering the religion issue. I don’t know how to get this problem sorted cos it’s already 5 years that we’ve been struggling and still couldn’t find a solution
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Being financially independent can help a lot in taking decisions and sticking to them. What does your boyfriend say about the issues that you are facing? He could help by playing the role of the prospective son-in-law and do what's required to get through to your mother. That will take off a load from you and you will also be able to empathize with your mother and her concerns and address them appropriately. You and your boyfriend need to come up with a plan to deal with this together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Im from Bangalore, I work in IT My monthly in hand salary post deductions 1.09L, Ive a kid who is 3 years old and my wife is home maker. I would like to known if my apporach of savings/investements to be changed little bit to maximize savings and accumulate amount for my kid higher education and house purchasing. My monthly expenses and savings as below Rent: 12k House hold exp:15k My savings: SIP Mutual funds: im doing it both on my name as well as my wife name, On My name: monthly 14k( accumulated so far 3.18L) On My wife name: Monthly 6k( Accumualated sonfar 68k) Ive stocks investments of about 2.30lakhs I do RD of 20k Ive cheeti every month 20k( will be completed in 2 months and i get 4 lakhs) Sukanya samridhi yogana: 3.5k( so far accumulated 75k) Ive emergency fund of 3lakhs And everymonth I save 8k in liquid fund for my child school fees i use this accumulated amount for every next year school fees 4k every month savings for LIC Jeevan labh 936 And 6k in gold and 2k in silver I know gold and silver are voltalie considering recent returns im doing SIP of 8k both gold and silver. Ive term insurance for 1cr Health insurance company sponsored 10lakhs. My goal is to buy a house in 2 years atleast to make down payment of 15l and rest to go for loan And my child higher education after 12th to save how do i plan my investements and I wanted to make sure to continue the SIP which im doing now.
Ans: Your financial discipline is very impressive. With a monthly income of Rs 1.09 lakh, you have already built a strong system of savings. Supporting a family with a young child while still investing regularly shows very good financial maturity.

Let us review and fine tune your structure so your goals become easier to achieve.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Structure

Your current monthly pattern roughly shows:

– Household expenses around Rs 27k
– Mutual fund SIP around Rs 20k
– Recurring deposit Rs 20k
– Chit fund Rs 20k (ending soon)
– Gold and silver SIP Rs 8k
– LIC premium Rs 4k
– Sukanya Samriddhi Rs 3.5k
– School fee saving Rs 8k

You are saving a very healthy portion of your income. This is a very strong foundation.

But your money is spread across too many instruments.

Simplifying your structure will improve growth.

» Emergency Fund Review

You already have Rs 3 lakhs emergency fund.

This is a good cushion.

– Maintain this in safe liquid instruments
– Do not use it for investments or house purchase
– This protects your family during job or health uncertainty

This part is already well managed.

» House Down Payment Goal (Next 2 Years)

You want to arrange Rs 15 lakhs in 2 years.

Equity mutual funds are not suitable for such a short goal because market volatility can disturb the amount.

So the correct approach is:

– Use the Rs 4 lakh chit amount when received
– Continue the recurring deposit
– Add part of monthly savings into safe short-term instruments

This will help you accumulate the down payment safely.

Avoid depending on stock market returns for a 2-year goal.

» Child Higher Education Planning

Your child is 3 years old. You still have 14 to 15 years.

This is a very good long-term horizon.

Your mutual fund SIP strategy is correct.

Continue investing in actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select strong companies
– Portfolio can adjust during market changes
– Aim to generate higher return than the market

For long goals like education, equity funds are powerful due to compounding.

Continue SIPs in both your name and your wife's name.

Gradually increase SIP whenever your salary increases.

» Review of Gold and Silver Investments

You are currently investing Rs 8k monthly in gold and silver.

Precious metals are useful for diversification but they should not dominate the portfolio.

– Keep allocation around 5% to 10% of total investments
– Do not increase beyond this level

Too much allocation in metals can reduce long-term wealth creation.

Gradually redirect part of this amount to equity funds.

» LIC Policy Review

You mentioned a policy with premium around Rs 4k per month.

Many investment-cum-insurance policies give limited return compared to mutual funds.

If this policy is mainly for investment purpose and not protection:

– Review surrender value
– Consider stopping and redirecting future money to mutual funds

Pure term insurance already protects your family.

Your Rs 1 crore term cover is a good decision.

» Health Insurance Planning

Currently you have company health cover of Rs 10 lakhs.

This is good but it is linked to your job.

So consider an additional personal family health insurance.

This ensures protection even if you change jobs.

Medical inflation in India is rising quickly.

» Managing Too Many Investment Buckets

Right now you have:

– Mutual funds
– Stocks
– RD
– Chit fund
– Gold and silver
– LIC
– Sukanya Samriddhi

Too many small buckets reduce clarity.

A simpler structure is better:

– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Debt instruments for short-term goals
– Small allocation to gold

Simplicity improves tracking and discipline.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds for long-term goals:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Planning withdrawals properly helps reduce tax burden.

» Finally

You are already doing many things right.

Small improvements can make your financial life even stronger.

Focus on these actions:

– Continue mutual fund SIPs for long-term goals
– Use RD and chit amount for house down payment
– Reduce excess allocation to gold and silver
– Review LIC policy usefulness
– Add personal health insurance cover
– Increase SIP every year with salary growth

With this disciplined structure, you can comfortably achieve your child's education goal and build financial stability for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6832 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi
Career
The NEET is 2 months away. I have completed my syllabus but was sick for 1.5 months now. I am getting 348 marks. I feel like I have forgotten everything. How can I score 650+?
Ans: You still have about 8 weeks, which is enough time to make a big jump if you focus on revision + question practice. First, don’t panic about “forgetting everything”; after illness, it’s normal for recall to feel weak, but concepts usually come back quickly with practice. Start by revising Biology daily (2–3 chapters/day) because it gives the fastest score increase. For Physics and Chemistry, revise formulas, key reactions, and then solve topic-wise MCQs the same day to rebuild recall. Take a Full Mock Test every 3–4 days, analyze mistakes carefully, and make a small “error notebook” so you don’t repeat them. Try to solve 120–150 questions daily and spend more time on Biology accuracy, since it’s the easiest way to push your score up quickly. Also, maintain sleep, light exercise, and proper meals so your energy fully returns after being sick. If you stay consistent with revision, mocks, and error analysis for the next two months, jumping from 350 to 600+ is realistic, and 650+ becomes possible with high accuracy.

Practical Advice: You can improve your score from 350 to 650 with thorough study and practice. Saying recall is very easy, but it will only be effective if it was well understood in the past. It is better to choose chapters from PCB where you feel more confident and focus on questions from these chapters in the NEET Exam.
For 650+: You Score like- BIO > 300, PHY > 150, CHE > 200.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
How and where to check the change in benchmark index of a mutual fund from the date of investment.
Ans: It is good that you want to track the benchmark change of your mutual fund. Monitoring this helps you understand whether the fund performance comparison is fair and transparent.

» Why Benchmark Change Matters

– Every mutual fund is compared with a benchmark index
– The benchmark helps you judge if the fund manager is doing better than the market
– If the benchmark changes, past performance comparison may look different

So it is important to know when the benchmark was changed.

» Where to Check Benchmark Changes

You can verify benchmark changes through the following places:

– Mutual fund scheme factsheet

Fund houses publish monthly factsheets

It mentions the current benchmark and sometimes the previous benchmark

– Scheme Information Document (SID)

The SID explains the benchmark used by the fund

When the benchmark changes, the document gets updated

– Addendum or notice issued by the fund house

When a benchmark is changed, the fund house releases an official notice

This is usually available on the AMC website under “Notices” or “Updates”

– Your account statement or email communication

Fund houses normally inform investors through email when such changes happen

» Platforms That Show Benchmark History

You may also check on investment tracking platforms such as:

– Mutual fund research portals
– Registrar websites where your folio is maintained
– Portfolio tracking platforms

These sometimes mention historical benchmark details.

» Practical Tip for Investors

While tracking benchmark change, also observe:

– Whether the new benchmark is more appropriate for the fund category
– Whether the fund is consistently beating the benchmark
– Whether the fund strategy has changed along with the benchmark

If benchmark keeps changing frequently, it deserves closer review.

» Finally

The best place to confirm benchmark change from the exact date is the official communication from the fund house such as SID updates, addendum notices, and monthly factsheets. Keeping these records helps you track whether your fund is truly creating value over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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