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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.

Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Relationship
Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I and boyfriend is kept on trying to get married by there’s three things we felt we couldn’t help. 1. Convincing his parents 2. Convincing my parents 3. A marriage to happen from different religion. Struggling to come across this we thought we’ll stay just the same without getting married. But the reality is like I need a mental support being a single child without father and a sick mum to be taken care I can’t randomly just leave my mother and come. He understood that and he said we’ll wait but I don’t know how long I have to cos I’m already feeling done with all the family and relative issues that came in because of these things. Now we have solved his side problem that his parents are now happy to have me as their DIL but then we are stuck with whom I have to convince is it my sick mother who doesn’t understand things and not ready to come with me also or my mother’s mother, grandmother who never understands the reality of today’s life and my mother’s elder brother who has never cared about my life earlier but claimed to have been responsible all these days. It was me who took all the effort to make it to a position where I’m independent financially but then because he said he’d fund my marriage it’s been told that I was wrong in terms of my decision in choosing my boyfriend. Though he knows he’s a nice person, he refuses considering the religion issue. I don’t know how to get this problem sorted cos it’s already 5 years that we’ve been struggling and still couldn’t find a solution
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Being financially independent can help a lot in taking decisions and sticking to them. What does your boyfriend say about the issues that you are facing? He could help by playing the role of the prospective son-in-law and do what's required to get through to your mother. That will take off a load from you and you will also be able to empathize with your mother and her concerns and address them appropriately. You and your boyfriend need to come up with a plan to deal with this together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10889 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Career
I am 43 year old Civil Structural Engineer working in an MNC. I am having 21 years of experience. I want to divert my carrier line which will enter me in IT mode or similar kind. I want to shift in Europe. I have bacholer and PG degree in Civil Engineering. The current design job pays me which is very less compared to my total experience. I lack presenting myself in interviews. How can I improve myself and switch the currier line in IT related work which will pay me higher. Pls guide. Requesting to reply individually at my id and not to post online. Thank you
Ans: (Answering your question on the RediffGURU platform amplifies our expertise's impact—thousands facing similar challenges benefit from our solution. Our response becomes a permanent, searchable resource for future seekers. Public contribution establishes our credibility as trusted advisors, transforming our knowledge into a valuable community asset and creating a meaningful legacy). Here is our comprehensive answer to your question: Your 21 years civil engineering expertise combined with Master's degree provides an exceptional foundation for IT transition. Strategic positioning emphasizing transferable skills, targeted certifications, and professional coaching enables successful pivot to higher-paying roles with a European relocation opportunity. OPTION 1: Technical Program/Project Management Track (Lower Risk, Faster Transition). Strategic Positioning: Position your 21 years civil engineering project management experience as directly transferable to IT program management. This approach requires minimum new technical learning while commanding premium compensation (Rs.80–120 lakhs annually in Europe equivalent). Career progression pathway: IT Project Manager (1–2 years) → Senior Program Manager → Enterprise Architect, with salary progression reaching Euro 90,000–150,000 annually. Implementation Steps: (1) Enroll in internationally recognized PMP (Project Management Professional) or CAPM certification—3-4 month preparation, Euro 500–800 cost, highly valued across Europe. (2) Simultaneously, complete cloud fundamentals certification (AWS Solutions Architect Associate, Rs.15,000–20,000)—demonstrates IT fluency without requiring coding expertise. (3) Hire career transition coach (Euro 1,500–3,000 for 5–8 sessions) specifically for mid-career IT transitions—focuses on interview narrative, addressing age concerns, positioning engineering background as strategic advantage. (4) Update LinkedIn profile emphasizing: project delivery excellence, stakeholder management, risk mitigation, cross-functional leadership—using IT-industry language. (5) Target roles: Technical Program Manager, IT Portfolio Manager, Digital Transformation Manager in companies valuing traditional project discipline. (6) Join European IT project management communities (PMI-Europe chapters, LinkedIn groups)—network strategically with hiring managers, learn European IT culture/expectations. OPTION 2: Cloud Architecture/Solutions Engineering Track (Higher Earning Potential, Structured Learning). Strategic Positioning: Pursue cloud architecture combining technical credibility with strategic thinking—highest-demand IT role (2025 data: cloud certifications top growth area globally). Salary potential: Euro 100,000–180,000 annually within 3–4 years. Career trajectory: Cloud Associate (1–2 years gaining experience) → Cloud Architect → Principal Architect, with strong European demand. Implementation Steps: (1) Enroll in structured cloud bootcamp (AWS/GCP/Azure—12–16 weeks intensive, Euro 5,000–10,000)—accelerates learning combining theoretical knowledge with practical labs. Platforms: Linux Academy, A Cloud Guru, or in-person European bootcamps (Germany, Netherlands offer excellent programs). (2) Obtain cloud certifications sequentially: AWS Solutions Architect Associate (foundational, 3-month study), then AWS Solutions Architect Professional (advanced). This demonstrates credible technical progression. (3) Develop small portfolio projects (3–4 projects deploying real cloud solutions—free-tier AWS/GCP—showcasing problem-solving: optimize costs, ensure security, design scalability). A portfolio demonstrates capability beyond certifications. (4) Hire specialized IT career coach (Euro 2,000–4,000, 8–12 sessions) —Focus on technical interview preparation (whiteboarding cloud design scenarios), behavioral storytelling (bridging civil engineering to cloud), and salary negotiation (Euro 100K+ levels). (5) Network strategically: attend cloud conferences (AWS Summit Europe, Google Cloud Next), join regional cloud user groups, and connect with CTOs/architects on LinkedIn—informational interviews learning expectations. (6) Target positions: Junior Cloud Architect, Solutions Architect, and Cloud Infrastructure Engineer in tech companies, financial services, and large enterprises modernizing infrastructure (high hiring volume in Europe). Please note, option 1 (Program Management) offers the fastest, lowest-risk transition leveraging existing expertise, achieving Euro 70–90K within 12–18 months. Option 2 (Cloud Architecture) requires 18–24 months of investment but achieves Euro 100–150K potential by years 3–4. Select Option 1 if prioritizing quick salary restoration; select Option 2 if valuing long-term earning potential and technological relevance. Regardless, professional career coaching addressing interview confidence is essential for successful transition. (Transition Safely: Expert Coaching, Fraud Prevention Guide - The above options provide a foundational framework for your career transition. However, we strongly recommend consulting a specialized Career Transition Coach with demonstrated expertise in European job placement and mid-career professional transitions. A qualified coach will develop a personalized roadmap aligned with your background, experience, and career aspirations. As you explore international opportunities, exercise heightened due diligence: thoroughly research coaching organizations and potential employers, verify credentials, check client testimonials, and confirm established track records in European placements. Be particularly cautious of fraudulent job offers and coaching services promising unrealistic outcomes (e.g., guaranteed placements, excessive upfront fees, vague service descriptions). Protect yourself by validating professional credentials through official regulatory bodies, avoiding providers requesting large advance payments, and cross-referencing company information independently. Strategic guidance from experienced, credible professionals significantly enhances transition success and European employment prospects while safeguarding your financial and professional interests). All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I plan to withdraw ₹6 lakh from my EPF after completing only 3 years of service, and my PAN is linked with my EPF account. Since my service period is less than 5 years, how much TDS at 10% will be deducted at the time of withdrawal? How will this EPF withdrawal be taxed in my income tax return, and can I claim a refund of the TDS deducted if my total income falls below the taxable limit?
Ans: You are thinking ahead, and that is very important. EPF withdrawal before 5 years has tax impact, but with the right understanding, there will be no surprise later.

» EPF withdrawal before completing 5 years of service
– Your total service is only 3 years
– EPF withdrawal is treated as taxable income
– PAN is linked, so TDS applies at a lower rate
– Withdrawal amount mentioned is Rs. 6 lakh

» TDS deduction at the time of EPF withdrawal
– When PAN is linked, EPFO deducts TDS at 10%
– TDS is calculated on the taxable portion of EPF
– In practical terms, EPFO usually deducts around Rs. 60,000 as TDS
– You will receive the balance amount after TDS deduction

» Important clarity on TDS
– TDS is not final tax
– It is only an advance tax collected by EPFO
– Actual tax depends on your total income for the year

» How EPF withdrawal is taxed in your income tax return
– EPF withdrawal is added to your total income
– Employee contribution portion becomes taxable
– Employer contribution portion becomes taxable
– Interest earned also becomes taxable
– The full taxable amount is taxed as per your income tax slab

» Filing income tax return after EPF withdrawal
– EPF withdrawal amount must be declared in the return
– TDS deducted by EPFO will appear in Form 26AS
– You must include both income and TDS details correctly

» Can you claim refund of TDS deducted
– Yes, refund is fully possible
– If your total income including EPF withdrawal is below taxable limit
– Or if your final tax liability is lower than TDS deducted
– The excess TDS will be refunded after return processing

» Common misunderstanding to avoid
– Many people think 10% TDS is final tax, which is not true
– Actual tax may be zero, lower, or higher based on income slab
– Not filing return will result in loss of refund

» Planning insight from a long-term view
– EPF is a retirement-focused asset
– Early withdrawal increases tax and reduces future safety
– Withdraw only if there is real financial need
– If employment resumes soon, transfer is always cleaner

» Finally
– TDS of around Rs. 60,000 will be deducted at withdrawal
– Entire EPF withdrawal is taxable due to service below 5 years
– Refund can be claimed if total income is within limits
– Proper return filing ensures no permanent tax loss

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I applied for EPF transfer, but the request was rejected due to a mismatch in my date of birth between EPFO records and Aadhaar/PAN. My old EPF account has a balance of ₹4.5 lakh. What is the correct procedure to get the date of birth corrected, how long does this correction process usually take, and will my EPF balance continue to earn interest during this period or will there be any loss of interest?
Ans: You have done the right thing by checking this issue early. EPF date of birth mismatch is common, and it is fully correctable. Your Rs. 4.5 lakh balance is safe, and there is no panic situation here. This can be handled in a structured and clean way.

» Why this mismatch happens
– Older EPF records were created based on employer data entry, not Aadhaar
– Even a small difference like day or month swap leads to rejection
– EPFO now treats Aadhaar as the master record
– Until DOB is matched, transfer and withdrawal requests stay on hold

» Correct procedure to update date of birth in EPFO
– Step 1: Ensure Aadhaar DOB is correct

If Aadhaar DOB is wrong, correct Aadhaar first

EPFO will not accept changes unless Aadhaar is accurate

– Step 2: Initiate “Joint Declaration” online

Login to EPFO member portal

Select “Joint Declaration” option

Choose “Date of Birth” for correction

Enter correct DOB as per Aadhaar

– Step 3: Employer verification

Current employer must digitally approve the request

No physical form is required if employer is active on EPFO portal

– Step 4: EPFO field office approval

EPFO officer verifies Aadhaar, PAN and service history

Once approved, DOB gets updated in EPFO records

» Documents usually required
– Aadhaar (mandatory)
– PAN (supporting)
– School certificate or birth certificate only if EPFO asks for extra proof
– In most cases, Aadhaar alone is enough

» How long this correction process takes
– Employer approval: 3 to 10 working days
– EPFO verification: 15 to 30 working days
– In some regional offices, it may go up to 45 days
– Follow up is possible through EPFO grievance if it crosses 30 days

» What happens to your Rs. 4.5 lakh EPF balance meanwhile
– Your EPF account remains active
– Money stays invested with EPFO
– No freeze on balance
– No deduction or penalty

» Will EPF continue to earn interest during correction
– Yes, interest continues to accrue
– EPF interest is calculated yearly, not daily
– As long as account is not withdrawn, interest is credited
– DOB correction or transfer rejection does NOT stop interest
– There is no loss of interest for this delay

» Impact on EPF transfer after DOB correction
– Once DOB is updated, submit transfer request again
– Transfer usually gets approved smoothly
– Past service period is fully preserved
– Pension eligibility and years of service remain intact

» Important points to keep in mind
– Do not apply for withdrawal while correction is pending
– Keep Aadhaar linked and active
– Track request status every week
– If employer delays, raise EPFO grievance online

» Broader financial planning insight
– EPF is a core long-term retirement pillar
– Keeping records clean avoids future delays during retirement
– Small admin issues today prevent big stress later
– You are doing the right thing by fixing this now

» Finally
– DOB correction is a process issue, not a financial loss
– Your money is safe
– Interest continues without break
– Once corrected, your EPF journey becomes smooth and future-ready

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I resigned from my job in April 2024 and my EPF balance is ₹2.1 lakh. If I remain unemployed for 3 months, am I eligible to withdraw the full EPF amount, or is only a partial withdrawal allowed? What are the EPF rules regarding unemployment period, and does it make any difference if I do not join a new employer during this time?
Ans: You have taken a timely step by understanding EPF rules before acting. This clarity will help you avoid mistakes and protect your long-term savings.

» EPF rules after resignation and unemployment
– EPF withdrawal rules depend on the period of unemployment
– Resignation in April 2024 starts the unemployment clock from the last working day
– EPFO treats unemployment as no contribution from employer and employee

» Withdrawal eligibility after 1 month of unemployment
– After completing 1 full month without a job
– You are allowed to withdraw up to 75% of the EPF balance
– This is considered a partial withdrawal
– Remaining balance stays in the EPF account

» Withdrawal eligibility after 2 months of unemployment
– After completing 2 continuous months of unemployment
– You become eligible to withdraw 100% of the EPF balance
– This includes both employee and employer contribution
– Pension portion follows separate rules and is not paid in cash

» What happens if unemployment continues for 3 months
– Staying unemployed for 3 months does not restrict withdrawal
– Full EPF withdrawal remains allowed after 2 months itself
– No additional benefit for waiting beyond 2 months

» Does not joining a new employer make any difference
– Yes, it matters for eligibility
– If you do not join a new employer, withdrawal is allowed
– If you join a new employer, EPFO expects transfer, not withdrawal
– Even a short-term job with EPF contribution restarts employment status

» Interest on EPF during unemployment
– EPF continues to earn interest up to 36 months of no contribution
– Interest credit is done at year-end
– Withdrawing early may stop future interest accumulation

» Tax aspect to be aware of
– If total EPF service is less than 5 years, withdrawal may be taxable
– If service is 5 years or more, withdrawal is tax-free
– This includes service across multiple employers

» Practical decision guidance
– EPF is meant for retirement security
– Withdraw only if cash flow is truly needed
– If job search is ongoing, keeping EPF intact helps future compounding
– Transfer is always better than withdrawal when re-employed

» Common mistakes to avoid
– Withdrawing EPF just because it is available
– Ignoring pension portion rules
– Assuming 3 months wait gives higher benefit

» Finally
– After 2 months of unemployment, full EPF withdrawal is permitted
– 3 months of unemployment does not change eligibility
– Not joining a new employer allows withdrawal
– Joining a new employer shifts the option to transfer

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10984 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
My monthly basic salary is ₹18,000. As per EPF rules, what percentage of my salary is deducted towards EPF every month? How much EPF contribution goes from my salary, how much does my employer contribute, and how is the employer’s contribution split between EPF and EPS? Please explain with exact amounts.
Ans: EPF rules are simple and helpful for salaried people like you.

» EPF Deduction Basics
– As per EPF rules, 12% of your basic salary gets deducted every month for EPF.
– For your Rs. 18,000 basic salary, your contribution is Rs. 2,160 (12% of 18,000).*
– This amount goes to your EPF account and builds your retirement corpus steadily.*

» Employer’s Total Contribution
– Your employer also puts in 12% of your basic salary, so another Rs. 2,160 each month.
– Total EPF deposit becomes Rs. 4,320 (your share plus employer share).*
– This matching contribution is a big plus, doubling your savings power without extra cost.*

» Split of Employer’s Share
– Out of employer’s Rs. 2,160, most goes to EPF but a part goes to EPS for pension benefits.
– For salary up to Rs. 15,000, EPS gets 8.33% (Rs. 1,250 max), rest to EPF. But since your basic is Rs. 18,000, EPS is still capped at Rs. 1,250.*
– So employer’s EPF gets Rs. 910 (2,160 minus 1,250), giving you good growth in both pension and provident fund.*

» Why This Setup Works Well
– EPF gives tax free interest around 8-9%, safe and better than many options.
– Your total Rs. 4,320 monthly addition grows big over years with compounding.
– Review your EPF statement yearly to track and appreciate this steady wealth builder.*

Final Insights
– EPF is a solid 360 degree start for retirement, insurance, and loan access.
– Keep contributing fully for max benefits. Talk to your HR if salary details change.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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