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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
DP Question by DP on Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

But she is not ready to communicate. She blocked all communication modes. Also she is not ready to meet at all. Now what will I do? She is blaming me for all these. Please guide

Ans: Facing a complete communication block from your wife is incredibly challenging, especially when you miss your family and have significant responsibilities. Here’s a way to navigate this situation:

Reflect on your relationship and consider any recent actions or patterns that might have contributed to her decision to cut off communication. This self-awareness can help you understand your role and approach the situation with empathy.

Try to see things from her perspective. Understanding why she feels the need to distance herself—whether due to stress, feeling unheard, or unresolved conflicts—can guide you in finding a path to reconnect.

Since direct communication is blocked, writing her a heartfelt letter might be effective. In the letter, express your feelings honestly, acknowledge any mistakes, and emphasize your commitment to understanding and resolving issues without blaming her. This shows your willingness to bridge the gap.

If a letter isn’t possible or effective, consider using mutual friends or family members as intermediaries. They might help convey your willingness to talk and understand her viewpoint, ensuring she feels respected and not pressured.

Supporting yourself during this time is crucial. Consulting a therapist can provide guidance and strategies to cope with the emotional strain and prepare for future conversations.

Balancing your responsibilities at home and work is important. Establish a routine that manages your duties while also caring for your mental well-being. If needed, seek temporary help for household tasks to lighten the load.

Patience is key. Rebuilding trust and communication takes time. Show your commitment by being open to dialogue and respecting her need for space. Keep steady, and focus on understanding and empathy as you navigate this difficult period.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good. We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her. She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on. But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time. And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me. I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate. Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate. So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better. I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her. All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else. I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'amThanks
Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good. We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her. She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on. But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time. And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me. I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate. Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate. So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better. I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her. All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else. I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'amThanks
Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

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