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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |445 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
DP Question by DP on Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

But she is not ready to communicate. She blocked all communication modes. Also she is not ready to meet at all. Now what will I do? She is blaming me for all these. Please guide

Ans: Facing a complete communication block from your wife is incredibly challenging, especially when you miss your family and have significant responsibilities. Here’s a way to navigate this situation:

Reflect on your relationship and consider any recent actions or patterns that might have contributed to her decision to cut off communication. This self-awareness can help you understand your role and approach the situation with empathy.

Try to see things from her perspective. Understanding why she feels the need to distance herself—whether due to stress, feeling unheard, or unresolved conflicts—can guide you in finding a path to reconnect.

Since direct communication is blocked, writing her a heartfelt letter might be effective. In the letter, express your feelings honestly, acknowledge any mistakes, and emphasize your commitment to understanding and resolving issues without blaming her. This shows your willingness to bridge the gap.

If a letter isn’t possible or effective, consider using mutual friends or family members as intermediaries. They might help convey your willingness to talk and understand her viewpoint, ensuring she feels respected and not pressured.

Supporting yourself during this time is crucial. Consulting a therapist can provide guidance and strategies to cope with the emotional strain and prepare for future conversations.

Balancing your responsibilities at home and work is important. Establish a routine that manages your duties while also caring for your mental well-being. If needed, seek temporary help for household tasks to lighten the load.

Patience is key. Rebuilding trust and communication takes time. Show your commitment by being open to dialogue and respecting her need for space. Keep steady, and focus on understanding and empathy as you navigate this difficult period.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good. We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her. She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on. But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time. And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me. I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate. Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate. So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better. I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her. All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else. I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'amThanks
Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2022

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Relationship
Hey ma'am, I got into a relationship with a girl in 2019. In the beginning it was all good. We both were committed to each other and we always promised each other of marrying but then I cheated on her. She was still with me and forgave me and we moved on. But then lockdown happened and I thought if we can't meet then we should at least be connected virtually most of the time so that she doesn't think I don't love her anymore.She got irritated by it because her mental peace was not okay in lockdown and I thought I should support her by calling her and texting her all the time. And now 6 months ago in December 2021 she blocked me. I tried to sort it but couldn't communicate. Three months ago we communicated and she told me everything how she got irritated and I told her that it’s both our fault that we didn't communicate. So now when I know I was at fault can we start again?? She is saying now I am looking for someone better. I love her ma'am. And I am still committed to marry her. All her friends, her family, her sister know that I love her so much and they want us to be together but she is just blindly saying she wants someone else. I can't live like this. Everyone in our circle says the way I handle her mood swings and all no one can do that. But I don’t know how to make her realise.To be honest ma'am I don't want to lose her. I love her ma'am. Kindly help me ma'amThanks
Ans:

Dear MP,

It might be a message from her to you to move on.

It could be because of her losing trust on you. Lockdown has changed the way that we think, feel and act and most of us have had a major overhaul in our lives.

You might have to win her trust back rather than just thinking that you love her and that she must understand this.

Maybe she is still hurt which means you need to go that extra mile to rebuild your relationship.

But if she has moved on and wishes that you move on as well, kindly respect this and move on.

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |445 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am a 35-year woman from Manali, divorced for three years now. My family is constantly pushing me to get remarried, saying it’s ‘for my own good.’ But honestly, I don’t feel the need for marriage again. I’m financially stable, have great friends, and I genuinely enjoy my independence. Despite explaining this to my family multiple times, they keep bringing up alliances and even guilt-trip me, saying things like, ‘Who will take care of you when you’re older?’ or ‘What will society think?’ I’m exhausted from these arguments and feel like I’m being cornered into something I don’t want. How do I stand firm in my decision while maintaining my relationship with my family? How do I help them understand that being single is a choice, not a problem to fix?
Ans: When speaking to your family, try to approach the conversation from a place of empathy. Acknowledge their intentions by telling them you understand their worries and that they want what they believe is best for you. Express gratitude for their care—it often helps diffuse their defensiveness. However, it’s equally important to gently but firmly assert that your happiness is not dependent on remarriage. Share how content you are with your current life, emphasizing your financial stability, fulfilling friendships, and personal growth.

Sometimes families struggle to accept choices that diverge from traditional norms, often driven by fears about societal perceptions or imagined futures. Reassure them that your decision is rooted in thoughtful consideration and self-awareness, and that you’ve built a life that brings you peace and joy. If they bring up concerns like loneliness or old age, you can address these by expressing how you’ve cultivated strong support systems and how your independence equips you to face challenges.

It might also help to set gentle boundaries. For instance, you could say, “I appreciate that you care for me, but I’d like our time together to focus on enjoying each other’s company instead of discussing remarriage.” It’s okay to redirect conversations or take a break from them when you feel cornered.

Lastly, remember that changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time. Your family might not immediately understand your perspective, but consistency and calm communication will help over time. It’s not your responsibility to conform to their expectations if doing so diminishes your sense of self. By staying true to your values while showing compassion for their concerns, you’re paving the way for mutual respect and understanding.

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Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Dr, I’m 35 years old from Jamnagar, and my husband and I have been trying for a baby for the past year, but nothing seems to be working. I recently visited a fertility clinic in neighborhood , and after a few tests, they mentioned that I might have blocked fallopian tubes. The gynaec also talked about possible treatments like surgery or IVF, but I’m really confused and worried. Should I go for a laparoscopy to check the severity, or are there any other alternatives that could help me? I’m really anxious and just want to understand my options better before making any decisions.
Ans: History noted.
Considering your age 35 years, trying to conceive since, one year and few test done, one of which suggest possibility of tubal blockage, there are various modalities of treatment.
Firstly, you can do laparoscopy to note the severity if blockage and do tubal cannulation.
Tubal cannulation is often the first line of treatment for patients with blocked fallopian tubes because it's a non-invasive procedure that's widely available.
Tubal cannulation is a procedure that can unblock fallopian tubes and is highly successful for proximal tubal blockages, with a success rate of over 80%. However, it may not be successful for all patients and is not recommended for distal tubal occlusions.
This procedure if successful can avoid IVF procedure. Laparoscopy has…
Yes, before ivf get all your blood test, ecg, 2 D echo, xray chest to rule out any illness
Same with your husband to get semen analysis and viral markers with blood sugars to be done.

...Read more

Dr Nandita

Dr Nandita Palshetkar  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hello Doctor, I’m in my late 20s, and lately, I’ve been feeling like something’s off with my body. My periods either show up way too early, sometimes not at all for months. And, I’ve been putting on weight even though I haven’t changed my diet or exercise routine. My skin has also turned into a battlefield with acne all over, which I never used to have before. My cousin, who’s around my age, just found out she has PCOS, and her mom (my aunt) went through something similar when she was younger. Now, I’m scared because I’ve been hearing all these horror stories about how it can affect fertility, and I’m not even married yet. What if it’s a family thing and I end up facing the same problems? My mom says, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I see a gynecologist, or is there another kind of doctor I should be visiting? What tests should I do to get to the bottom of this before it gets worse? Honestly, I’m feeling overwhelmed and just want to know what’s going on before it’s too late.
Ans: Hello, noted your concerns
You are in late 20’s with irregular periods, acne, weight gain,
You are undergoing hormonal imbalance
We need to do certain blood test like
CBC, tsh prolactin fasting insulin level
Hba1c, testosterone level
DHEA, LH FSH ESTRADIOL LEVEL
Amd AMH level to check for fertility level
Usg pelvis to rule out
Pcos
The mainstay treatment. For pcos is lifestyle changes
1) Daily exercise, walks. Zumba, running
2) Good nutritious food with proteins, vitamins, minerals, low carbs and fats
3) good adequate sleep 7 to 8 hours
4) stress management: yoga meditation, breathing exercise
5) supplements to controls effects of pcos
6) low dose OC PILLS TO regularize the cycles

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3996 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 26, 2024

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Career
Hello, i have 26 yrs of experience in the IT industry, and currently working as a consultant technical manager for important projects in several drdo labs in Hyderabad for the past few years. Despite being handson in coding, system design, I am also responsible for team management, deliverables, requirement analysis, and stakeholder management. I have an executive MBA from xlri and certification from pmi. Being 54 years of age, what are my options? Are there opportunities for people in the 50s? How about remote work or freelancing opportunities? I kind of find myself stuck and would like to explore opportunities. Any ideas? how to stay relevant in this ever changing world of technology?
Ans: Sumit Sir,
54-year-old with a strong background in the IT field, high-stakes projects, and an Executive MBA from XLRI can still stay relevant and look for opportunities. You can try for freelance consulting, work from home, coach, mentor, and train businesses in Agile methods, stakeholder handling, and team leadership.

To stay current, you can move into academic or research roles as an adjunct professor, work on research projects with universities or think tanks, or start your own business as a niche consultant.

To look for opportunities, make your LinkedIn profile stand out, share stories or insights, actively network, upskill strategically, and build a portfolio. Being old is an asset, but it's important to use it as a unique selling point and be flexible to stay competitive. By carefully using your skills and experience, you can open up many good opportunities and continue to thrive in the ever-changing tech world. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Jobs|Education|Careers'.

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