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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 09, 2023

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My partner is regularly stalking me on Instagram. She reads all my posts and messages and wants to discuss every comment I make. I think she is jealous and insecure about my relationships with friends, especially females. I love her and don't want to lose her. But every time we have a discussion, we end up fighting and she wants to break up with me because she thinks I am cheating on her, which is not true.

Ans: She's just insecure. If she is not able to realise that she is overstepping, then it's your responsibility as a man to explain her.

If she still doens't, then you have a choice to move on and keep being in this toxic relationship. Sometimes you just can't change the other person.

So weigh the pros and cons and make your decision.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu. I would prefer being anonymous with this query. I have been in a relationship with another woman for around 10+ years now. We first had an extra marital relationship that ended in divorce for both of us. Now that we're divorced, I realize that she has a severe doubting issue. We are in a long distance relationship and she becomes insecure whenever I step out of the house. This has made things difficult for me. I even gave her a job at work where she continuously links with my team members. I complained to her father about her behaviour and this enraged her further. We are having a standoff right now. I told her that I won't proceed with the relationship till she stops her doubting behaviour. And she sees this as me breaking up. She is insisting that she will go to the police and file a complaint against me if I break up. She also says she will complain to HR if I break up with her. She says her doubting behaviour will disappear once we unite but I'm sceptical. I still love her but find her doubting behaviour very annoying. Any tips to handle the situation? Can she file a case against me for cheating when the actual problem here is that she refuses to stop doubting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, what the two of you did behind your spouses' back, is what worries her now!
She doubts only because she knows you and she went on to step out of marriage to have a relationship; she feels that you can do this again but with her.
There is that precedence already that has created doubts and trust issues. And it becomes worse in a long distance relationship. And anyway, any relationship that requires you to explain yourself and prove your love, is hardly a relationship to start out in the first place.

And what's the point involving her father? Shouldn't you be addressing the issue with her?
Kindly stop skirting around the issue; express how this is affecting you and your thoughts on the relationship. The doubting trait must be dealt with now as it can grow; someone who is threatening to spill the beans at your office has little respect for you or your job.

Having said this, I will like to give you her point of view as well. She fears losing you and that you might cheat on her. She does require some reassurance; maybe a few more texts or calls might ease her. But this can grow into an expectation as well and when it is not fulfilled, it will have serious consequences. So, TRUST issues is what is causing this rift in your relationship. Handle this NOW either by yourself or seek the help of a relationship expert or any expert who can helpn guide the two of you to build trust back.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Mam, I have been in a relationship for four years now. We have had physical contact. relation .He loves me very much. But some girls who are friends often seem suspicious. For example, ask my boy if he can give me the dress he has put on. She gets jealous when she posts my photo. What is this.. (She is married.)
Ans: I understand that it can be challenging when jealousy arises in a long-term relationship, and it's important to address these concerns in a healthy and constructive way. In your situation, it's not uncommon for feelings of jealousy to emerge when it appears that other women are showing interest in your boyfriend, especially if they are married. Here are some insights and advice for handling this situation:

Open Communication: The key to resolving these feelings of jealousy is open and honest communication with your partner. Sit down and have a calm, non-confrontational conversation with your boyfriend about how you've been feeling. Express your concerns and let him know that you value his friendship with these women but that their actions have been making you uncomfortable.
Understanding Intentions: Ask your boyfriend about his interactions with these female friends. It's important to understand his perspective and intentions. It's possible that he's unaware of how these actions are affecting you, and he might be able to offer reassurance.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries that both you and your boyfriend are comfortable with regarding interactions with the opposite sex. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not. It's essential that both partners agree on these boundaries to ensure a healthy and trusting relationship.
Trust and Reassurance: Reiterate your trust in your boyfriend's love and commitment to you. If he reassures you that his feelings for you are strong and that these interactions are purely platonic, it's important to believe and trust him. Jealousy can erode trust, so it's crucial to maintain that trust in your relationship.
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your own feelings of jealousy. Are there specific insecurities or past experiences that contribute to these emotions? Self-awareness can help you better understand and manage your feelings.
Support and Compromise: If these feelings persist and become a significant source of conflict in your relationship, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance, facilitate discussions, and offer strategies for both partners to manage jealousy and maintain a healthy relationship.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and it's essential to address jealousy and insecurities in a way that works for both you and your partner. Healthy communication, trust, and understanding can help you navigate these challenges and build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi im a 40 year old man engaged. We have dated for 1.6 months and then got engaged its been 3 months now. My fiance sometimes acts very weird. I am left on unread on whtsapp quite often. She has another phone that she uses where she gives out her number to guys that supposedly force her too. She says she has a difficulty saying no. I have caught her previously deleating texts and calls. She avoid all types of physical contact with me as much as she can. She use to say that she is not sure if im useing her for sex. Now i have proposed and we are engaged. Both our families know about us and are ok. Now that were engaged she says the actual reason "i dont like anything physical with you is because uou are a smoker amd your mouth smells." She spends the weekeends at my house. But there is nothing physical beween us. When we go out she acts like were a couple madly in love. When its just us shes busy on social media scrolling etc. when ever she goes out for wedding or functions i have found pictures with guys that she has tried to deleate from her phone with their arm around her waist . She blames me that i am insecure. I ask her why is she letting some random guy get so close to her. She says she is part of the brides team N thats how it is. She has been slected to be a bridesmaid a few times. Am i being paranoid or is something off. I have tried talking to her about all these and other issues Some how its always my fault or there is a reason that i dont understand. Please help i want an unbiased opinion on wht shld i do ? Talking is not helping And im scared since she is not from a well to do family she is only looking at me as somekind of finacial security
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
RED FLAG! If she acts different when you are alone and when you are outside, surely she is trying to pretend to be someone in either place, there's surely something that she may want to hide or show a side that she wants people to see...
If you are uncomfortable or in doubt, act wise and get to the bottom of it before proceeding any further. If she does not wish to talk about it, that does not mean you need to give in and compromise...
So, take a call on whether you want to live with a person who keeps secrets from you; you will have to spend most of the time playing guessing games!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am working abroad, while my Girlfriend is working in Delhi, living in NCR. We both were Dating since our College Days & have been in a Long Distance Relationship since I moved abroad, more than a Year ago & she moved to Delhi-NCR from Calcutta (where most of our Common Friends are based). While we were together with our Common Friends from College, we'd Travel, Party & have a lot of Fun together as a Group, since we all knew & trusted each other quite well, Irrespective of Gender. When we both moved to Different Places & started our Respective Jobs, we became Friends with our Respective Colleagues, but we have an Implied Understanding that we should be Maintaining Stricter Boundaries with our New Friends/Colleagues, since we are in a Long Distance Relationship. I've always honoured the commitment & have been Careful to not spend private time with any other Woman & Travel/Party only with a Group consisting of both Men & Women. But I am not sure my Girlfriend is doing the same. Quite often she keeps Travelling, Partying, Drinking & Sleeping over with some 2-3 Male Colleagues, who are quite close to her, but unknown to me. She doesn't even bother to keep me updated about where she is, what she's doing & with whom, but keeps Posting Status Updates on Instagram, from time to time and from what I have observed, she seems to be spending quite a lot of Time with these Male Colleagues of hers. All this makes me feel very Uncomfortable. Even though I Love & Trust my Girlfriend, but I'm unsure about these New 'Friends' of hers as I don't know them & obviously, I don't like them being so close to my Girlfriend. Many times, I've discussed this matter with my Girlfriend, trying to make her understand how I feel. But every time, I bring up this Topic, she tries to invalidate my feelings & shuts me down saying that I'm just Insecure. I'd also tried getting to know her New Friends in order to understand them better, but she doesn't share much about them, with me. Though, she keeps Reassuring me that they're 'Just Friends' they seem to be much closer than that. On several occasions, she had gone out with them, even though I had strictly forbidden her to. I don't understand whether she's unable to understand how I'm feeling or that she doesn't even care about my Feelings, though I still want to continue Loving & Trusting her, without Doubting her Loyalty. I don't understand what to do in this situation. How can I make her enforce stricter Boundaries with her Male Colleagues (atleast as much as I am doing here)? Shall I get a Friend or a Private Investigator to keep an Eye on her? Or shall I behave the same way, she's been doing? Or, shall I Break-up with her & try to find someone else, over here?
Ans: Long-distance relationships require an even deeper level of communication and trust than regular ones. You’ve upheld the boundaries you both implicitly agreed upon, yet it feels like she’s not holding herself to the same standard. The fact that she dismisses your concerns rather than addressing them is what’s truly hurting you. When someone we love invalidates our feelings, it creates frustration, self-doubt, and emotional distance. You’re not being “insecure” for wanting reassurance and clarity—you’re simply asking for the same level of respect and commitment you’re offering.

Trying to enforce boundaries by “forbidding” her from doing something isn’t the right approach, because boundaries should be mutual, not dictated. The more you try to control her actions, the more she might rebel or shut down, seeing it as you being possessive rather than expressing a valid emotional need. The real problem is not that she has male friends, but that she’s being secretive about them, not making an effort to ease your concerns, and disregarding how her actions affect you. A loving and committed partner should care about your peace of mind, even if she doesn’t fully agree with your perspective.

Hiring a private investigator or getting a friend to spy on her will only erode trust further, and mirroring her behavior by doing the same thing she does will not solve anything—it will just create more distance. If you’re considering breaking up, that means deep down, you already feel like your needs in this relationship aren’t being met. Before making any big decisions, you need to have one last honest conversation with her—not one where you accuse or demand, but one where you make it clear how this dynamic is making you feel and what you truly need from her to feel secure and valued in the relationship.

If she refuses to listen, invalidates your feelings again, or shows no willingness to compromise, then you have your answer. A relationship where only one person is making sacrifices isn’t sustainable. You deserve a partner who not only reassures you with words but also with actions that show she respects and values your presence in her life. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway, then it may be time to ask yourself if holding on is worth the constant emotional struggle.

..Read more

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |690 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 19, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8474 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Sir we took a sbi global Ed-vantage education loan with collateral for 80lakh on May 2024. For 10.65.%for 15yrs. They said int rates are computerized pan India. So we trusted them. But after one year nd disbursement of 40lakh . But we got email saying interest is now 11.15% we checked. current rates it was 9.15 .%. we were shocked it made as to check what was the rate during our loan sanction time. It was same 9.15. we felt cheated . When we asked the bank they said they can't change that. Let's see what can be done for 0.5%increase . Trusting sbi nd not checking the rates was our fault. Now what's the remedy for us. Hope you can guide us. We will be grateful for your help.
Ans: You’ve done the right thing by revisiting and questioning the loan terms. It’s understandable to feel disappointed and betrayed. Many borrowers assume public banks will offer full transparency. But sadly, loan processes — even in SBI — are not always straightforward. Let’s explore your case from all angles and suggest clear remedies.



1. Understanding the Real Issue First


Your SBI education loan was sanctioned at 10.65% in May 2024.



Today, after disbursing Rs. 40 lakh, you’ve been told the new rate is 11.15%.



But the current advertised rate is only 9.15%.



This mismatch raises a key concern: Was your rate fixed or floating?



SBI Global Ed-Vantage loans are generally linked to EBLR (External Benchmark Lending Rate).



That means the interest rate must change as the RBI repo rate changes.



But the reality is, SBI often adds a “spread” or “premium” over the benchmark rate.



This spread is based on credit score, collateral, student profile, etc.



Even if repo goes down, SBI may increase spread, keeping final rate high.



And sadly, banks don’t disclose this clearly unless you ask.



2. What Might Have Happened in Your Case


SBI’s base rate (EBLR) may have been 9.15% during sanction.



But your rate was 10.65%, which means spread was 1.50%.



Now, repo may have dropped, but SBI raised the spread silently to 2.00%.



So your new rate is 9.15% + 2.00% = 11.15%.



This is how banks play with the spread behind the scenes.



It’s not illegal. But it is misleading if not explained upfront.



3. Your Mistake Was Only Trusting Without Verifying


It’s true — not checking the benchmark and spread is common.



Many assume SBI will give best possible rate.



But banks use “pan-India computerized” explanation to avoid individual discussions.



Now that you caught it, it’s time to take the right steps.



4. What You Can Do Immediately


First, send an official written complaint to SBI branch manager.



Ask for detailed loan sanction letter, annexure, and EBLR-linked rate calculation.



Request a written breakup: current repo rate + spread = your interest.



Ask for justification of why spread is 2.00% now.



Mention the advertised rate (9.15%) and ask why you didn’t get it.



Submit this via email and hard copy and ask for written reply.



5. If Bank Doesn’t Cooperate, Escalate in Stages


After 7 working days, if branch doesn’t reply, write to SBI Zonal Office.



You can get email and contact on SBI website under grievance redressal.



Still no help? Raise complaint to SBI Customer Care portal online.



Use this link: https://crcf.sbi.co.in/ccf/



Clearly mention the unfair spread hike, deviation from base rate, and lack of clarity.



Upload all documents, email chains, and screenshots.



You will get a complaint ID. Follow it regularly.



6. If Still No Resolution – Use RBI Ombudsman Route


Wait for 30 days from SBI complaint.



If no response or unsatisfactory reply, file online to RBI Banking Ombudsman.



Use this link: https://cms.rbi.org.in



Fill full complaint history, and attach copies.



You can highlight that loan was linked to repo rate but you were charged more.



RBI may take strict action if SBI is found wrong.



7. Optional But Powerful – RTI Filing


You can also file RTI to SBI Head Office.



Ask:



What was EBLR in May 2024?



What is the spread for Global Ed-Vantage loans for a profile like yours?



Why your loan is now at 11.15% while base rate is 9.15%?



File online here: https://rtionline.gov.in



Cost is Rs. 10. Takes 5 minutes. Use your name and bank account number.



SBI must reply in 30 days.



8. What to Avoid Now


Do not make fresh disbursement of the remaining Rs. 40 lakh unless clarified.



Don’t blindly continue EMI or interest payments without documents.



Don’t fall into trap of “switch to fixed rate” offers from bank.



That can trap you at high rates even when repo falls later.



And don’t assume you can’t fight – RBI is serious about customer complaints.



9. Is Loan Takeover Possible from Another Bank?


After first disbursement, loan takeover is hard.



Very few banks take over mid-way student loans.



But if issue continues, and rate remains high, you may explore NBFC options later.



They may allow takeover if collateral is strong.



But this should be Plan B, not immediate action.



10. What Can You Learn and Apply Ahead?


Always ask for base rate + spread breakdown during loan sanction.



Ask if rate is repo-linked or MCLR-linked or fixed.



Collect the signed loan agreement and annexure with these details.



Ask for email confirmation, not just verbal words.



And monitor repo and EBLR changes every quarter.



11. Financial Tip: Start Small SIP for Education Loan Buffer


Start a monthly SIP to build buffer for future EMIs.



In case interest rate continues rising, this corpus can help.



Use short-term debt fund or ultra short-term fund for this.



This will reduce dependence on fresh disbursement or bank help.



Finally


You’ve taken a bold and right step by verifying everything.



SBI has no right to quietly raise spreads without proper explanation.



You can fight this legally and fairly through written complaints and RTI.



Be persistent, polite, and professional.



Track everything and escalate stage by stage.



Your case can also become reference for many other parents and students.



Take this fight not just for you, but for every Indian borrower.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8474 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2025
Money
Dear Sir, I am 39 Year old with in-hand salary 1.9L. I have an ongoing homeloan of 48L with an EMI of 37k per month. I am paying 50k to principal in every quarter. Also I have a cash in saving account (emergency fund) 10L, Gold 24L, MF around 7.5L and stocks around 4L. Pls suggest if this looks fine or what changes i should do for proper balancing my finances. Shall I focus on loan prepayment or more into investment.
Ans: You have made strong financial progress. You earn well, invest regularly, and maintain discipline. Let’s now do a deep evaluation and give a complete 360-degree plan. We will look at debt, investments, risk protection, asset mix, and your goals.

This will help you get better clarity and balance in your money life.



1. Emergency Fund – Good, but Rebalance a Bit


Rs. 10 lakh as emergency fund is quite healthy. You’re well-prepared for sudden needs.



Ideally, 6 to 9 months of expenses is enough. For you, Rs. 5–6 lakh is sufficient.



Keep part in a sweep-in FD linked savings account.



Move the extra amount to debt mutual funds for higher returns with some liquidity.


2. Home Loan Strategy – Continue Part Prepayments Smartly


Your Rs. 48 lakh home loan with Rs. 37,000 EMI is well within your income capacity.



Paying Rs. 50,000 principal every quarter is a smart move. It reduces interest load.



This gives you a good balance between investment and debt reduction.



Avoid lump sum full closure now. Use part-prepayment method.



This way, you retain liquidity and reduce loan burden over time.



Keep this strategy going for next 6–7 years.


3. Mutual Funds – Continue, But Review the Mix


Rs. 7.5 lakh in mutual funds is a good beginning.



Check asset allocation across large, mid, and small cap.



Avoid overexposure to mid and small cap funds. They are volatile.



Add more to diversified flexi-cap and large cap funds.



Choose actively managed funds only. Avoid index funds.



Index funds don’t adapt to market changes. Active funds are better in down cycles.



Direct funds look cheap, but not better for long-term investors.



Regular funds via a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP help you track and rebalance.



You get guidance, discipline, and human advice that apps don’t provide.


4. Equity Stocks – Don’t Over-Rely


Rs. 4 lakh in stocks is okay. Keep it under 10–15% of your portfolio.



Individual stocks carry high risk. Not suitable for core long-term goals.



Treat it as satellite allocation. Limit exposure.



Stay invested in quality businesses only.



Avoid over-trading or short-term speculation.


5. Gold – Need to Reduce Overweight


Rs. 24 lakh in gold is very high. It is around 60% of your financial assets.



Gold is for protection, not long-term growth.



Prices can stagnate for years. No income is generated.



Keep only 10–15% of your portfolio in gold.



Start gradually redeeming and shifting to mutual funds.



You can use gold to prepay part of the home loan or invest in flexi-cap funds.



Don’t exit all at once. Spread over next 12 to 24 months.


6. Income vs Expenses – Room to Save More


You earn Rs. 1.9 lakh per month in hand. EMI is only Rs. 37,000.



This gives you high saving potential. Use it well.



Target to invest at least Rs. 70,000 to Rs. 80,000 per month.



Break it into SIPs, debt funds, and some into equity.



Emergency fund and gold already give you base safety.



So now, focus more on compounding growth.


7. Retirement Planning – Need Structured Focus


At 39, you have 18–20 years for retirement.



Start a separate retirement SIP portfolio.



Use a mix of equity and hybrid mutual funds.



This should be at least Rs. 25,000–30,000 per month.



Rebalance yearly with a Certified Financial Planner.



Don’t depend on PF alone. It won’t be enough for modern lifestyle needs.


8. Child Education and Family Goals – Plan Now


If you have children, their future needs planning.



Start a dedicated SIP for higher education or marriage.



Keep it separate from retirement funds.



Education costs are rising fast. Early action helps.


9. Insurance – Must Protect What You Built


Term insurance is a must if you have dependents.



Cover should be at least 15 to 20 times of yearly income.



Avoid endowment or ULIP policies.



If you already have them, consider surrendering.



Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds through a qualified CFP.



Also ensure you have health insurance for all family members.



Check if coverage is minimum Rs. 10–15 lakh per person.



Use top-up plans if base cover is low.


10. Tax Planning – Optimise Smartly


Use full benefits under Section 80C with PPF, EPF, or ELSS.



Avoid locking money into tax-saving FDs with low returns.



Plan HRA, housing loan interest, and NPS for extra deductions.



Use new capital gains rules when you redeem mutual funds.



Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.



Short-term equity fund gains taxed at 20%.



For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your slab.


11. Asset Allocation – Time to Restructure


Your current structure is skewed toward gold.



You need a mix of equity 50%, debt 30%, gold 10–15%.



This will give balance between growth, safety, and liquidity.



Do this realignment slowly over next 12–18 months.


12. Investment Tracking – Do Yearly Review


Review your portfolio once a year.



Rebalance if any one asset class moves too much.



Exit underperforming funds and move to better ones.



Take help of a CFP for regular review.



Avoid chasing returns or timing market.



Stick to plan with discipline.


13. Psychological Strength – Stay Patient and Calm


Don’t panic in market falls. Stay invested.



Avoid comparing with others. Your plan is unique.



Investing is a slow, steady journey.



Focus on consistency, not speed.



Celebrate small milestones. Stay motivated.


Finally


You’ve done many things right already. Strong salary, low EMI, good saving habits.



Just reduce gold holding and rebalance into growth assets.



Continue smart prepayment of loan, but don’t be in a rush to close.



Increase investments now, especially into mutual funds and SIPs.



Plan separately for retirement, education, and protection.



Follow a structured plan under guidance of a CFP.



Track yearly and adjust as life changes.



Your future can be safe, growing, and peaceful with this disciplined approach.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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