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40-Year-Old Man Engaged to Woman with Strange Behavior: Seek Unbiased Advice

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi im a 40 year old man engaged. We have dated for 1.6 months and then got engaged its been 3 months now. My fiance sometimes acts very weird. I am left on unread on whtsapp quite often. She has another phone that she uses where she gives out her number to guys that supposedly force her too. She says she has a difficulty saying no. I have caught her previously deleating texts and calls. She avoid all types of physical contact with me as much as she can. She use to say that she is not sure if im useing her for sex. Now i have proposed and we are engaged. Both our families know about us and are ok. Now that were engaged she says the actual reason "i dont like anything physical with you is because uou are a smoker amd your mouth smells." She spends the weekeends at my house. But there is nothing physical beween us. When we go out she acts like were a couple madly in love. When its just us shes busy on social media scrolling etc. when ever she goes out for wedding or functions i have found pictures with guys that she has tried to deleate from her phone with their arm around her waist . She blames me that i am insecure. I ask her why is she letting some random guy get so close to her. She says she is part of the brides team N thats how it is. She has been slected to be a bridesmaid a few times. Am i being paranoid or is something off. I have tried talking to her about all these and other issues Some how its always my fault or there is a reason that i dont understand. Please help i want an unbiased opinion on wht shld i do ? Talking is not helping And im scared since she is not from a well to do family she is only looking at me as somekind of finacial security

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
RED FLAG! If she acts different when you are alone and when you are outside, surely she is trying to pretend to be someone in either place, there's surely something that she may want to hide or show a side that she wants people to see...
If you are uncomfortable or in doubt, act wise and get to the bottom of it before proceeding any further. If she does not wish to talk about it, that does not mean you need to give in and compromise...
So, take a call on whether you want to live with a person who keeps secrets from you; you will have to spend most of the time playing guessing games!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2022

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Dear Love Guru, I am 50 years divorced man in relation with a 42 years divorced women. We have known to each other for the last 7 years, but only for the 8/9 months we have committed to each other. We intend to marry. But she insists for 40 lakh money and 1 flat in her name. Then only will see agree to marry. She says if not given she will marry another guy who will meet her requirements. I am so much in love that I am thinking of giving her demands and marry her.  But the real problem is, she has many male friends with whom she regularly chats over watsup and messanger. She also goes for dinner with some friends.  Secondly, whenever we go to any group parties (her known) she flirt around with male friends, like taking pictures holding each other, dancing closely together etc. I after ask her dance with me or take snaps with me, she just avoids. I have seen many male friends of her touching her bump or cheeks or holding her waists, she never objects. But when I try to do the same, she objects saying what people will think etc. She tries to stay away from me during the parties. I constantly remind her to stay with me, she says not to be so possessive and allow her some space.  Previously we had sex once a month for 5/6 months, but for the last 3 months she has totally stopped having sex, she says will do it only after marriage. Whenever we had sex, she didnt seems to participate, she just tells me to finish off fast.  Again, I am only one who telephones her every night for talking. She never calls me. Throughout the day she never calls and rarely chats with me. After I propose or insists, we meet once in 10 days. she always prefers to meet in group of friends. With me she talks quite ok, but in group she becomes very lively and active. I am confused whether to proceed for marriage by fulfilling her demands. What if after marriage she repeats the same flirteous nature and not so committed towards me. Please advice and help. Regards.
Ans:

You're confused? There's nothing confusing about the situation -- this woman wants nothing from you except an apartment and money.

She doesn't call you, she doesn't hang out with you, she doesn't like acknowledging you in public, she doesn't like having sex with you and she'll marry someone else if you don't fork over the moolah.

Stop considering how to ruin your life and find someone who's happy with you even minus the Rs 40 lakhs and the flat!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2022

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Relationship
Hello. I want this to be anonymous. I'm 25 year old and I have been in a relationship for the last 4-5 yrs with my childhood friend . According to me she is a complete attention seeker and dosent care about my emotions. Like she used to text boys who proposed her and delete the messages which she replied but used to keep the messages which they did and send me that they are flirting with me I never used to ask for those screenshots anyway she herself would send me those says that only they are messaging her even thought she isnt responding once she fogot to delete one message where I caught her and we had a huge fight regarding and then she claimed i have i deleted the messages and I promised she will not repeat it again but she totally did it multiple times and I caught her doing that multiple times and she used to flirt with people who proposed her and once we were have lunch in a restaurant and one person who has intrest in her came to the same place and was sitting behind us and she suddenly stood up and sat infront of me where she could see him or vice-versa like how can she do that when I'm around and there are many other fights she has a best friend she shares with him everything last year I broke up with her due to all these reasons and we pathed up after 2 months , after getting back her friend asked her if she is talking to me or not she simply replied shes not talking to me even though we are fine and happy and just last month one of my cousins was flirting with me and I showed her the messages and was being open to her but never crossed a line but she went behind my back and talked to my cousins elder brother who is my own sister's husband that his sister is flirting with me even thought i myself made it clear there's nothing going on, after all this she is calling me to get back with her and she promises that she won't repeat the mistake never again which she already did n number of times what should I do I'm not fine and I think I'm depressed I'm spoiling my career thinking about this.
Ans:

Looks like this leopard isn't going to change her spots in a hurry, my friend!

She's full of lies and false promises and let me tell you, people rarely change. You have to accept them for who they are.

So, if I were you, I'd end this relationship. She doesn't sound like anyone worth wasting anymore time over.

You'll always be looking over your shoulder, and you'll never be able to trust her.

She's driving you nuts already; it's just time to call it a day with this relationship. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!

 

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 28 years old, about to get engaged in couple of months. It's an arranged marriage. Before that I met with the girl. At our first meeting, she was little shy and hesitant at first but still we were able to have a good conversation. However after that, as usual parents wanted an answer and without beating around the bush, we agreed. We went out once for lunch once and it was good. We got to know each other a little. But after that it's mostly chats. It's like I always start the conversation and end it. She may want to take things little slow which I respect. I am an introvert person, but at least I try to have a conversation. But even the chats feels like an interview round, she doesn't even ping me or calls me. Even I asked her if she has a boyfriend or is she happy with the marriage which she responded positively. That was a sigh of relief. Last we talked was on Valentine's day where we exchanged gifts and had some chats. But after that no more talks till now. For a month I stopped texting her as it always seems I am always eager to talk and also to check whether she will revert back, but not once in a month she called or texted me. Isn't she a little bit curious to know me? Now I feel tired to always ping her and asks her about her daily life. Maybe it seems like I am putting a lot of effort or maybe I am overthinking, but I just want to assure myself that I am taking the right decision. Sometimes I even feel if this marriage will work out or not. It's like I am taking a huge gamble on my life and letting destiny decide my faith.
Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.

It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.

Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, i am 40 years age and started investing in mutual funds from last 6 months in sip around 30k. i am currently investing in motilal oswal mid cap, parig parak flexi cap, sbi contra fund, icici multi asset , nippon midcap . i can invest in long term around 5 to 10 years but currently not seeing any growth in these. is it good to continue in these funds or can i add or remove any other funds. please suggest. Thanks, Vamshi
Ans: Vamshi, it is good to see that you started early and are investing a steady Rs.30,000 every month. Beginning SIP at 40 and thinking long term shows maturity and patience. The concern you are feeling is common in the first year, and it does not mean you have done anything wrong.

» Time frame and expectations
– Six months is a very short period for equity mutual funds.
– Equity works best when given time to pass through ups and downs.
– In the early phase, SIP units get accumulated more than showing returns.
– Real growth usually becomes visible after a few years, not months.

» Why growth is not visible right now
– Markets do not move in a straight line. Sideways and volatile phases are normal.
– Mid-cap oriented funds move slower during uncertain periods.
– SIP is doing its job quietly by buying more units at different levels.
– Lack of short-term growth is not a sign of poor fund quality.

» Review of your current fund mix
– Your portfolio has strong exposure to mid-cap style funds.
– Mid-cap funds can give good returns but can test patience in short periods.
– You also have diversified and multi-asset style exposure, which adds balance.
– Overall, the structure is growth-oriented but slightly tilted towards higher volatility.

» Whether to continue or make changes
– Stopping or changing funds just because of 6-month performance is not advisable.
– Frequent changes usually hurt long-term returns.
– At this stage, continuation is more important than replacement.
– Any change should be based on asset balance, not recent returns.

» What can be improved going forward
– Add stability by increasing allocation to diversified large and flexible equity styles.
– Keep mid-cap exposure, but avoid adding too many similar funds.
– Ensure each fund plays a clear role, not overlapping the same stocks.
– Avoid chasing recent performers.

» SIP discipline and behaviour
– Continue SIP without interruption for at least a few years.
– Do not check portfolio too often; quarterly review is enough.
– Volatility in early years actually helps long-term investors.
– Patience is more valuable than timing.

» Risk and goal alignment
– A 5 to 10 year horizon is suitable for equity investing.
– If goals are closer to 5 years, balance is more important than aggression.
– If goals are closer to 10 years, staying invested matters more than short-term noise.
– Clear goal tagging will give confidence during weak phases.

» 360-degree perspective
– Ensure you have adequate emergency fund outside mutual funds.
– Health and term insurance should be in place to protect investments.
– Avoid using equity investments for short-term needs.
– Keep SIP amount flexible as income grows.

» Final Insights
– Your concern is natural, but your action so far is sensible.
– Six months is too early to judge equity mutual funds.
– Do not stop SIP or switch funds based on short-term returns.
– Improve balance slowly, not urgently.
– Consistency and patience will reward you over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2026

Money
I am 61 years; medical expense is zero; disciplined life style; and minimalist life style. - I stopped major investing; instead, I am withdrawing from the corpus. on a simple calculation the present expenses for 15 years is equal to my present corpus at market value. in this circumstances, I would like to know should I reduce or increase my SWP or this 15 years calculation is okay..!! please guide me.
Ans: Your discipline, simple lifestyle, and clear thinking at age 61 deserve genuine appreciation. Reaching a stage where your present corpus can support 15 years of expenses shows strong financial habits and self-control. This already puts you in a position of strength and choice.

» Understanding your current position
– You have minimal medical expenses today and follow a disciplined, minimalist life. This reduces pressure on your corpus.
– You have consciously stopped fresh investing and moved to withdrawal mode. This is natural at this life stage.
– Your current calculation shows that if expenses remain the same, the corpus can last around 15 years at today’s market value.
– This indicates balance, but it should not be treated as a fixed or permanent number.

» Why a straight 15-year calculation needs review
– Expenses rarely stay flat for 15 years, even with a simple lifestyle. Small increases add up over time.
– Health costs may be zero now, but ageing can change this suddenly, not gradually.
– Market value of corpus will move up and down. Withdrawal during weak phases can reduce longevity of money.
– Inflation silently reduces purchasing power, even for basic living costs.

» Assessment of your current SWP level
– If your SWP exactly matches today’s expenses, it is not aggressive, but it is also not conservative.
– A SWP that leaves no room for future uncertainty can slowly increase risk in later years.
– Your discipline is a big positive, but the plan should not depend only on discipline staying perfect forever.

» Should you reduce or increase your SWP
– Increasing SWP is not advisable at this stage unless there is surplus income from other safe sources.
– Maintaining the same SWP may work in the short term, but it needs regular review, not a one-time decision.
– A small reduction, even if not immediately needed, can add comfort and extend corpus life.
– The goal is not to maximise withdrawal, but to avoid regret in later years.

» How to think about SWP going forward
– Treat SWP as flexible, not fixed for 15 years.
– Review withdrawal once a year based on expenses, health, and market condition.
– During good market periods, you may continue smoothly.
– During weak market phases, be ready to pause or trim SWP slightly. This protects the core corpus.

» Health and contingency planning
– Even with zero medical expense today, a separate health buffer within the corpus is important.
– This buffer should not be touched for regular living costs.
– This reduces stress and avoids forced withdrawals during emergencies.

» Emotional comfort and quality of life
– Your minimalist life already supports peace of mind.
– A slightly conservative SWP often gives better sleep than an exact-match calculation.
– Financial plans at this stage should reduce anxiety, not test limits.

» Final Insights
– Your 15-year calculation is a good starting point, not a final answer.
– Avoid increasing SWP.
– Consider a modest reduction or at least keep flexibility to adjust.
– Annual review is more important than perfect maths today.
– Your discipline and simplicity are your biggest assets; protect them with a margin of safety.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |243 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2026Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, My Son was born with Beta thalassemia major, at the age of 3yrs he under went BMT at Mazumdar Shaw NH Hospital Bangalore in 2013 which was successful, now he is 16.4yrs again he has been diagnosed once again with Beta thalassemia after a gap of 13yrs, his Doctor say it rare case of failure & once again he need to under go BMT, plz advise what we need to do , can we legally make a claim with hospital for failure of BMT. previously we paid more than 10lac now they are demanding 20 to 25lac, which difficult to arrange such huge amount.
Ans: First of all, I understand how overwhelming and frightening this situation feels. A second bone marrow transplant is not only a medical decision, it becomes an emotional and financial storm for the entire family.

Please take a deep breath. Right now, the most important thing is to move step by step, with clarity and support, instead of panic.

Let me guide you in the most sensible and practical way forward.

1. Do not agree immediately for a second BMT without full confirmation

Before taking such a high risk and costly step, it is extremely important to confirm whether this is truly relapse or graft failure.

Please ask the doctor urgently for these key tests:

Chimerism Test (this is the most important)
This will show whether the donor marrow is still functioning.

Hemoglobin electrophoresis or HPLC

Genetic confirmation of recurrence

Bone marrow evaluation

Full transplant summary from 2013

Sometimes what looks like “thalassemia again” may actually be mixed chimerism, which can sometimes be managed without a full second transplant.

Do not decide until this is clearly confirmed.

2. Take a second expert opinion within 7 to 10 days

A second transplant is a major step. A second opinion can completely change the treatment plan.

Some of the best transplant centers in India are:

CMC Vellore
Tata Memorial Hospital, Mumbai
Apollo Chennai
PGI Chandigarh
AIIMS Delhi

Ask your current hospital for all reports and records in one complete file and consult quickly.

3. Negotiate strongly with the hospital for financial support

Please remember this clearly:

Hospitals can reduce costs significantly under charity, CSR support, and welfare schemes.

You should immediately request:

Concessional package
CSR or charity quota support
Installment payment option
Government or NGO assistance

Go directly to the Patient Welfare Office or Medical Superintendent and say clearly:

“We cannot afford 25 lakhs. Please place us under financial assistance support.”

Many families get 30 to 50 percent reduction when they push firmly.

Ask for a written revised estimate.

4. Insurance roadmap that actually works

Do not just ask “Will it cover?”

Do this exact process:

Check your policy wording for:

Bone Marrow Transplant
Stem Cell Transplant
Day care procedures

Apply for pre authorization before admission

If rejected, file escalation immediately

Group insurance through employer usually has higher chance of approval

Even though thalassemia is genetic, continuous insurance often still covers hospitalization and transplant procedures.



5. Government funding options that work in real cases

Please apply immediately. Do not delay even one week.

Practical sources include:

Ayushman Bharat (PMJAY)
Karnataka CM Relief Fund
PM National Relief Fund (PMNRF)
Health Minister Discretionary Grant

Many transplant cases receive support through these funds.

Hospital social workers usually help with forms.

Start applications this week.

6. NGOs that genuinely help thalassemia patients

These organizations are active and supportive:

Sankalp India Foundation
Cure2Children Foundation
Thalassemia Patients Advocacy Group

They help with funding, donor support, and correct guidance.

Write to all three with reports and hospital estimate.

7. Crowdfunding is the fastest support route today

Many families are able to raise 10 to 20 lakhs within 2 to 4 weeks through:

Milaap
Ketto
ImpactGuru

You will need:

Doctor’s letter
Hospital estimate
Patient photo
ID proof

Hospitals also cooperate in documentation.

8. Legal action is not the priority right now

I will be honest with you.

A transplant functioning for 13 years is usually not treated as negligence easily.

Legal cases take years and will not solve today’s urgent need.

First focus on:

Correct diagnosis
Second opinion
Financial assistance
Insurance
Relief funds
NGO support

Legal route can be explored later only if clear malpractice evidence emerges.

9. Ask the doctor these 6 direct questions tomorrow

Please write these down:

Is this graft rejection or true recurrence?
What is the current chimerism percentage?
Are there non transplant options before a second BMT?
What is the success rate in his specific case?
Will the same donor work or is a new donor needed?
What is the minimum possible cost after concession?

Do not leave without clear answers.

10. Immediate checklist for today

Collect these documents urgently:

2013 discharge summary
Current reports and diagnosis
Doctor recommendation letter
Hospital cost estimate
Insurance card and policy copy
Income certificate (needed for relief funds)

These will be required everywhere.

Final words

Please remember, you are not helpless.
There are medical options, financial support routes, and real organizations that can help you.

Just do not take any rushed decision.

Take one step at a time:

Confirm diagnosis
Second opinion
Negotiate assistance
Apply for funds
Reach NGOs
Start crowdfunding if needed

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2026Hindi
Money
I am fifty two year old. I have two home. One is two bed room one hall and one kitchen flat and it's resale value is fourteen lakh. The other is a kothi, which is near to fourty lakh price in resale. I don't want to sale any one. Only i can rented out my flat in just five thousand rupees per month. I have three members in my family and they are covered by twenty five lakh rupees of mediclaim for each person. I have a PF. In my provident fund nine lakh rupees present and it's pension fund have only one lakh fifty thousand rupees. The provident fund is running since November two thousand thirteen.i have four D-mat account. Each have the value is 2 two lakh rupees now. One of them is totally free, as the value of that dmat tripled, so i sale some parts of the all shares and without any investment that dmat value is niw two lakh. My only daughter is in class eight. I have some LIC policy of sum assured near to twenty six lakh rupees and monthly premium pay for this is six thousand. I have one lakh fixed deposit, as a emergency fund and i have also one lakh rupees of monthly income scheme in indian post office. My monthly expenditure today is near to twenty thousand rupees. I don't stay in any one of my house, because i work outside,so i am living in a monthly rented room. The rent is now seventeen thousand rupees per month. My sallary is now one lakh rupees per month and i will retire from my work place at the age of fifty eight.Now please tell me whether i am in a right way in the path for planing the retirement? My and my wife have life expectency is ninety years. Now i also invest monthly fifty thousand rupees in ETF. Please tell me that does i do right things or wrong?
Ans: I appreciate the honesty and effort you have taken to put all details clearly. At age 52, with steady income, assets, and disciplined savings, you are not late. You are actually in a position where course correction can still create a strong and peaceful retirement life. Your intent is right. Now it needs direction.

» Where You Stand Today – Big Picture
– You have two self-owned properties and you are clear that you do not want to sell them. That emotional clarity is important.
– You have stable salary income till age 58 and a reasonable monthly expense level.
– You have health cover in place, which is a big relief for retirement planning.
– You are investing regularly and thinking long term till age 90, which shows maturity.

» Cash Flow Reality Check
– Monthly salary is Rs 1 lakh.
– Monthly expenses including rent are on the higher side because you are not living in your own house.
– Rental income from your flat is very low compared to its value, which limits support during retirement.
– Post retirement, salary will stop, but rent and living costs will continue.

» Retirement Corpus Readiness
– Provident Fund balance is moderate and will grow till retirement, but by itself it will not support a 32-year retired life.
– Pension fund amount is very small and cannot be relied upon for monthly needs.
– Fixed deposit and post office monthly income scheme amounts are too low for emergencies and long retirement needs.
– Demat holdings show good market exposure, but they are scattered across multiple accounts, making tracking and discipline difficult.

» ETF Investment – Important Concern
– ETFs simply follow the market without judgement. They go up when markets rise and fall fully when markets fall.
– At age 52, protecting downside is as important as growth. ETFs do not offer this protection.
– ETFs cannot shift strategy based on valuations, interest rates, or economic cycles.
– Actively managed mutual funds are better suited now as they can control risk, manage volatility, and rebalance based on conditions.
– Continuing heavy ETF investing at this stage increases retirement risk.

» LIC Policies – Review Is Necessary
– You are holding investment-cum-insurance policies with monthly premium of Rs 6,000.
– Life cover of around Rs 26 lakh is not meaningful considering your income, liabilities, and dependents.
– These policies grow slowly and lock your money for long periods.
– This is one area where surrender and redirection should be evaluated carefully.
– Redirecting future premiums into growth-oriented mutual funds can improve retirement readiness.

» Daughter’s Education Planning
– Your daughter is in Class 8, which means major education expenses are coming soon.
– This goal should be kept separate from retirement money.
– Education planning needs growth with time-bound discipline, not random investments.

» Emergency and Stability Planning
– Emergency fund of Rs 1 lakh is not sufficient considering job risk, rent, and medical needs.
– This should ideally cover several months of expenses.
– Health insurance is well structured, which is a strong positive.

» 360-Degree Corrections Needed
– Consolidate demat holdings to simplify monitoring and reduce emotional decisions.
– Gradually reduce ETF exposure and move towards actively managed funds aligned to goals.
– Review LIC policies and consider surrender where financially sensible.
– Increase emergency fund to avoid touching retirement money.
– Align investments separately for retirement, daughter’s education, and near-term needs.
– Rental income strategy should be realistic and aligned with retirement cash flow needs.

» Final Insights
– You are not on a wrong path, but the path is unorganised.
– Assets are there, income is there, discipline is there, but structure is missing.
– Heavy ETF exposure and slow-moving insurance products are the biggest risks today.
– With six working years left, smart reallocation and simplification can still build a stable retirement till age 90.
– With guided planning by a Certified Financial Planner, your existing resources can be turned into a confident retirement plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Money
I have diabetes also and is there any return of premium policy in term life insurance,so Sir please suggest me..
Ans: I appreciate you for being open about your health condition and for thinking carefully about family protection. Planning insurance with diabetes needs clarity, not fear. With the right structure, you can still build strong protection and long-term comfort.

» Diabetes and Term Life Insurance – Ground Reality
– Diabetes does not mean insurance rejection in all cases.
– Insurers mainly look at: age, duration of diabetes, sugar control, medication, and presence of complications.
– Well-controlled diabetes with regular follow-ups improves acceptance chances.
– Premiums may be higher, but cover is still possible in many cases.

» Return of Premium Term Insurance – How It Works
– In return of premium plans, you pay higher premium compared to pure term plans.
– If you survive the policy term, total premiums paid are returned.
– If death occurs during the term, nominee receives the full sum assured, not double.
– The returned amount does not generate real growth and does not beat inflation over long periods.

» Suitability Check – Is Return of Premium Right for You
– These plans give emotional comfort of “money back,” but not real wealth creation.
– Premiums are much higher, which reduces flexibility in other important goals.
– The return is simply your own money coming back after many years, without meaningful growth.
– From a planning view, insurance should protect risk, not act as an investment.

» Better Way to Think About Protection
– Life insurance should focus on high cover at reasonable cost.
– Savings and wealth creation should be handled separately through growth-oriented options.
– This separation gives clarity, flexibility, and better long-term results.
– Even with diabetes, choosing the right structure helps balance protection and affordability.

» If You Are Emotionally Keen on Premium Return
– If the idea of “no loss if I survive” is very important for your peace of mind, return of premium plans can be considered cautiously.
– Cover amount should still be meaningful, not compromised due to higher premium.
– This choice should be made after checking long-term cash flow comfort.

» 360-Degree Protection Planning
– Ensure adequate life cover based on responsibilities and dependents.
– Review existing insurance policies to avoid overlap or under-coverage.
– Keep health insurance strong, especially with diabetes.
– Align investments separately for retirement and family goals instead of depending on insurance maturity.

» Final Insights
– Diabetes is a factor, not a full stop, in life insurance planning.
– Return of premium plans give emotional relief but not financial growth.
– Clear separation between insurance and investment gives better long-term stability.
– With structured guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you can design protection that works for your health condition and future goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I have Jeevan Saral Policy (Plan 165) since Oct 2008. Sum Assured Rs 750000/-. Premium 36030/- per annum, Policy term 35 yrs i.e. maturity in Oct 2043 having Double accident benefit. Can you Pls tell me how will I get after maturity? Is it worth continuing it or not? Pls guide me ?
Ans: I appreciate you for sharing full policy details and for your long-term commitment since 2008. Staying invested for so many years shows discipline and responsibility towards family protection. It is good that you are reviewing this now instead of blindly continuing.

» Understanding What You Will Receive at Maturity
– This is an insurance-cum-investment policy, not a pure investment product.
– At maturity, you will receive:

Sum Assured

Loyalty addition, if declared by the insurer
– The maturity amount is not guaranteed upfront. Loyalty additions depend on the insurer’s performance and are declared closer to maturity.
– Double accident benefit applies only in case of accidental death, not for maturity value.

» Return Expectation – Reality Check
– Over long policy terms, such plans generally generate low returns compared to long-term market-linked options.
– Premiums are locked for decades, reducing flexibility.
– Inflation impact is high over 35 years, which reduces the real value of maturity proceeds.
– The policy is safe, but safety comes at the cost of growth.

» Insurance and Investment – Mixed Role Issue
– This policy combines insurance and savings, which reduces efficiency on both sides.
– Life cover of Rs 7.5 lakh is inadequate for long-term family protection today.
– At the same time, the investment part grows slowly and does not match long-term goals like retirement or children’s education.

» Should You Continue or Exit
– Since this is an investment-cum-insurance policy, it is important to reassess its relevance today.
– If your main objective is wealth creation, continuing may not be optimal.
– If surrender value is reasonable and future premiums are still large, surrendering and redirecting money to better growth-oriented options can make sense.
– The decision should be based on: years already paid, current surrender value, and future cash flow comfort.

» What to Do After Surrender – Direction, Not Guesswork
– After surrender, the focus should be on separating insurance and investment clearly.
– Adequate pure life insurance cover should be ensured separately.
– Long-term investments should be aligned to goals, time horizon, and risk capacity.
– Actively managed mutual funds provide flexibility, professional decision-making, and better inflation-adjusted growth over long periods compared to traditional insurance products.

» 360-Degree View on Your Financial Plan
– Review existing insurance coverage across life and health.
– Align investments with specific goals instead of policy maturity dates.
– Maintain liquidity for emergencies.
– Periodic review with a Certified Financial Planner helps avoid emotional decisions and keeps the plan on track.

» Final Insights
– Your intention to secure the future is absolutely right and deserves appreciation.
– The policy offers safety, but growth is limited and may not meet long-term needs.
– Mixing insurance and investment has worked against optimal wealth creation.
– A structured shift towards goal-based investing, after careful surrender evaluation, can significantly improve your financial outcome over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Money
Hi I have invested in mutual fund SIP Parag parikh flexi cap 3k HDFC flexi cap 2500 Hdfc balance advantage 2k Navi nifty 50 index fund 2500 Edweiss gold and silver ETF FOF 2k Is all the fund good to keep for long term or should I change to another fund. Thank you
Ans: I truly appreciate that you are investing regularly through SIPs and have spread your money across equity, hybrid and gold-related options. This shows discipline and a long-term mindset, which is the most important part of wealth creation. With some fine-tuning, this portfolio can become stronger and more aligned to long-term goals.

» Overall Portfolio Assessment
– Your portfolio has a mix of growth-oriented equity, a balanced component, and a hedge through gold and silver.
– Monthly SIP amount is well distributed, which reduces timing risk.
– However, there is overlap in equity style and also some exposure to options that may not add real long-term value.

» Flexi-cap Equity Exposure
– Flexi-cap funds are suitable for long-term goals as they can move between large, mid and small companies based on market conditions.
– Holding more than one flexi-cap fund can sometimes lead to duplication of stocks, which reduces the benefit of diversification.
– Instead of quantity, quality and role clarity matters. One well-managed active flexi-cap fund is usually sufficient when reviewed periodically.

» Balanced / Dynamic Allocation Exposure
– A balanced or dynamic asset allocation fund helps reduce volatility and is useful for investors who want smoother returns.
– This is a sensible inclusion, especially if you are investing for multiple goals and want some stability along with growth.
– Allocation should be intentional, not accidental. Its role should be clear – risk control, not return chasing.

» Index Fund Exposure – Important Caution
– Index funds simply copy the market and have no ability to protect your portfolio during market excesses or downturns.
– When markets are expensive, index funds still stay fully invested without judgement.
– In long-term investing, especially in India, actively managed funds have the flexibility to avoid overvalued stocks, manage risks, and adapt to changing conditions.
– For investors seeking meaningful wealth creation and downside control, active management plays a crucial role that index funds cannot provide.

» Gold and Silver ETF FoF Exposure
– Gold can act as a hedge, but returns over the long term are limited compared to equity.
– Silver is highly volatile and largely driven by global cycles, making it less predictable for retail investors.
– ETF FoF structures add an extra layer of cost and tracking issues without giving proportional benefit.
– Precious metals should be held in moderation and only as a support asset, not as a growth driver.

» Cost, Monitoring and Behavioural Discipline
– Too many funds increase monitoring burden and can lead to emotional decisions.
– Simplicity improves discipline, especially during market corrections.
– Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor who is also a Certified Financial Planner helps in regular reviews, behavioural guidance, and timely rebalancing. This support is often missing in self-managed approaches.

» 360-Degree Alignment with Goals
– The right portfolio is not about popular funds, but about matching investments with goals like children’s education, retirement, and financial security.
– Time horizon, risk capacity, and cash flow stability should decide fund selection and allocation.
– Periodic review and rebalancing is more important than frequent switching.

» Final Insights
– Your intention and consistency are excellent and deserve appreciation.
– Some consolidation is advisable to avoid overlap and unnecessary exposure.
– Reducing passive and ETF-based allocations and strengthening active equity exposure can improve long-term outcomes.
– A goal-aligned, simplified, actively managed portfolio reviewed by a Certified Financial Planner can give you clarity, confidence, and peace of mind over the years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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