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I've been with him for 9 years, should I marry him?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |475 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 19, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Ohk so I'm in relationship from last almost nine years and I want to marry him and since our relationship started I've putted every single effort I treated him like king ???? now he's saying that I'll get the best and rich guy in future since I'm only child of my parents but I want to marry only him...He doesn't every speak to his jijaji and Didi about our relationship what should I need to do...c

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

If he is not sure about the relationship, maybe it's time you have a serious discussion with him. Ask him once and for all, what are his intentions. Don't let him turn this on you with "you will find better guys." If he says so, let him know that that's your concern, not his; ask him to clearly state his plans- does he want to take this relationship ahead and get married or is he confused? If he isn't sure about you, I don't see why you would want to stick to him still. I understand it isn't easy to leave someone you have loved for so long, but a long relationship does not equate to a healthy and happy one. Please think about your future, and understand your worth.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1410 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
Relationship
will soon be 25 yrs old but havent got a job yet and my partner is 29 yrs old. We know each other for the past 7-8 years and we are in a very healthy relationship so much happy with each other. We hv told about us in our families. They are willing to let their son marry the girl of his choice and in my family except my father everyone is happy for us. My mom likes him so much. He met my mom few times even came to home but havent met my father yet. I hv told my mom about us since march & my father in july. Since then me and my father are having heated arguments whenever i am trying to explain why i cant marry anyone by his choice. And i wish to marry this person. His issues are- Patriarchal thinking that how can a girl choose a guy for her marriage, its their parents job. Who told me to find a guy on her own. Secondly, Him being a maharashtrian. We belong to UP but living in mumbai for more than 25 years and my father has plans to shift back in UP after his retirement which is after 4 years. So he doesnt want me to leave here all alone by myself. Also he doesnt like maharashtrians, not even a bit. Thirdly, he is doing a private job but he is earning 70-80k monthly since my father is a govt employee. Hence he has got issues. What issues i am facing- he is giving all kinds of threats he can to stop me fir even dreaming about to get marry this person. He says even if the earth ends tomorrow i will not let you marry the person of your choice. It is our job to find a groom not yours. My elder brother who is 4 years older than me and my sister who is one year younger than me both are studying in delhi. It is just me and my mom and my younger brother who is in 8th std living here. And none of our relatives lives here. So he is verbally and physically abusing us. Even threatened me to put my partner and his family behind bars if they forces us to get marry. Since our (my and my mom) convincing and explaining to him is falling on deaf ears , we (my & my partner) are willing to take drastic step and get married in court. We are hoping that now only police intervention can help us to be with each other. But we are not taking this step right now cz many things are holding me back but we are willing to take if things goes even more worse later. Since we are not finding it worth to wait for his approval. Nor he wants to listen why i want to marry this person and what are my reasons to refuse any guy my father chooses for me. Neither willing to see or meet my partner. My mother is on my side. She even asked my partner to meet some of our relatives and family friends everyone liked him and us. Its just my father who is having and creating so many issues. Everyone wants to hlp us but jst because of my father's nature (him being a true narcissist perdon) all are hesitating about how to even start a conversation with him unless he doesnt talks abt this with them. My father is also avoiding to talk about this situation with anyone since it will bring down his reputation, what will the society and relatives think about us. Noone will marry my siblings if they get to know about this that their sister has forcefully left the house to marry the guy of her own choice. Please suggest me something what else i can do to make him understand and should i stop making efforts and do whatever i want to not now but after sometime. Take drastic step and leave the house. I also know what will be the consequences of my actions but can i do if he doesnt want me to see me happy or believing in my decisions. Atleast he should listen and see him personally that what i saw in this person. But he doesnt want. Please guide me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do if your father has a rigid thinking like this? Like you yourself have mentioned: that your father must see what you saw in this person.
So, how much effort has gone into that? It seems that all of you are quick to judge that your father is strict and that he does not like people from certain states etc...Okay, he is who he is, right? So, now tune your efforts from complaining about him to what you can do to make him see the good in your partner.
Also, I hope that your partner is in a reasonably good financial state for his age else this will become an issue with your father.
Address your father's concerns and that will help you and your partner actually move things further. You becoming financially independent also will give your father confidence that you are old enough to make certain decisions of your life.

Also, your mother supporting you is of little use; if your father has always been in charge, she will have little say in the matter, so do not depend on anyone right now. Take it upon yourselves now to address what your father finds worrisome and take each point and build something useful to counter that.
It will not be possible or wise to force him to agree as that may not happen, so work on actually making him see what you see in your partner.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir, I am 40 years old banker. Earlier my wife was also working. My monthly salary is 1.50 lacs. I am planning to retire at 45 yrs age. I have twin children of 2 years age. All the below are savings of mine and my wife. We have property of 3 cr. Shares of 15Lacs, Mutual Funds of 23 Lacs. Fixed deposit 10 Lacs. NPS Amount 27 Lacs at present. Monthly contribution to NPS is 25000 ( employer + employer). Pension from NPS will start at 60 age. We have rental income of 60000 which will also increase with time. I will also get some heritage property of 2-3 cr. My monthly SIP is 40000. My current liabilities are a home loan of 37 Lacs. My monthly exp are 70000. I have not included here the expense of children education which I believe must not be more than 40000 yearly. Please advise how should I plan my retirement.
Ans: You have built a strong financial base. Your steady income, savings, and assets reflect disciplined financial planning. Let us analyse your situation and provide a comprehensive retirement plan.

Income Sources and Assets
Salary and Rental Income
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.5 lakhs.
Rental income of Rs 60,000 adds to your cash flow.
Rental income will likely increase over time.
Existing Investments
Shares worth Rs 15 lakhs provide growth potential.
Mutual funds of Rs 23 lakhs offer a diversified growth avenue.
Fixed deposits of Rs 10 lakhs provide stability and liquidity.
NPS corpus of Rs 27 lakhs ensures long-term pension security.
Property
Your property portfolio is valued at Rs 3 crores.
Additional heritage property of Rs 2–3 crores will add future value.
Liabilities
Outstanding home loan of Rs 37 lakhs is manageable.
EMI payments are part of your monthly expenses.
Analysing Your Retirement Plan
Target Retirement Age
You aim to retire at 45, giving five more working years.
Pension income from NPS starts at age 60.
You need to bridge the 15-year gap between retirement and NPS payouts.
Current Expenses
Monthly expenses are Rs 70,000, excluding children’s education.
Annual education expenses of Rs 40,000 are expected to rise gradually.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Considering inflation, your post-retirement expenses will increase.
You need a large retirement corpus to sustain expenses for over 40 years.
Recommendations for a 360-Degree Plan
Maintain Emergency Liquidity
Keep Rs 10–12 lakhs in liquid funds for emergencies.
Ensure this fund covers at least 12 months of expenses.
Focus on Wealth Creation
Continue SIP investments of Rs 40,000 monthly.
Increase SIP contributions annually with salary increments.
Invest in actively managed mutual funds for better returns than index funds.
Maximise NPS Contributions
Continue your Rs 25,000 monthly NPS contributions.
This ensures a growing retirement corpus with employer contributions.
Partial Loan Prepayments
Use surplus funds to reduce the principal of your home loan.
This will lower the interest burden and free up cash flow.
Retirement Corpus Strategy
Pre-Retirement Investments
Allocate new investments to high-growth instruments like equity mutual funds.
Avoid locking funds in fixed-income instruments at this stage.
Diversify across funds with strong track records and managed by qualified professionals.
Post-Retirement Cash Flow
Use rental income of Rs 60,000 to cover a portion of your expenses.
Withdraw from mutual fund investments systematically to bridge gaps.
Ensure a balance between withdrawals and corpus growth.
Heritage Property Utilisation
Consider income generation from heritage property, such as rent.
Avoid selling the property unless absolutely necessary.
Children’s Education Planning
Start a dedicated SIP for children’s higher education.
Invest in child-specific plans with a high equity allocation for growth.
Review the education fund annually to ensure alignment with goals.
Tax Efficiency
Optimising Investments
Choose mutual funds offering tax benefits under Section 80C.
Long-term capital gains on mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% above Rs 1.25 lakhs.
Short-term capital gains are taxed at 20%.
NPS Tax Benefits
Claim deductions for NPS contributions under Section 80CCD(1) and 80CCD(2).
Avoid Common Pitfalls
Avoid Large Real Estate Investments
Real estate is illiquid and requires high capital.
Focus on financial instruments for better flexibility and returns.
Avoid Direct Equity Risks
Invest in equity through professionally managed funds.
This ensures better risk management and consistent growth.
Do Not Ignore Inflation
Plan for higher living costs post-retirement due to inflation.
Regularly review and adjust your investments to combat inflation.
Final Insights
Retiring at 45 is achievable with disciplined planning. Focus on creating a robust retirement corpus and managing cash flow efficiently. Ensure a balance between growth-oriented investments and stable income sources. Review your financial plan annually to align with changing needs and market conditions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi sir, I am 31 years old, my monthly salary is 70 thousand. I have a existing home loan around 1986000 with ROI 9.25% for 29years. and till now through SIP I have invested 5 Lac and I keep liquid fund 2.5 Lac. My current balance including all SIP and liquid fund 9 Lac. I need a advise from you that I should repay my home with this 9 Lac or I should continue investing as SIP and continue EMI and repay homeloan as 1 or 2 EMI Extra in a year.
Ans: At 31, you have a strong financial foundation. Your disciplined SIP investments, liquid funds, and home loan management are appreciable. Let’s assess your options to help you make the best decision.

Analysing Your Current Financial Situation
Existing Home Loan
Your outstanding home loan of Rs 19.86 lakhs has a tenure of 29 years.
The interest rate is 9.25%, which impacts your long-term cash flow.
The EMI will consume a consistent portion of your salary over the years.
SIP Investments
You have already invested Rs 5 lakhs through SIPs.
Regular investments in SIPs help in wealth accumulation and compounding returns.
Your monthly SIPs are likely aligned with your financial goals.
Liquid Funds
You hold Rs 2.5 lakhs in liquid funds.
This provides a buffer for emergencies or short-term needs.
Options to Consider
Option 1: Use Rs 9 Lakhs to Prepay the Loan
Prepaying the loan can reduce the principal significantly.
This reduces the overall interest burden and loan tenure.
However, this locks your funds into a low-return liability.
Option 2: Continue SIPs and Pay Extra EMIs Annually
Continue your SIP investments for higher long-term returns.
Paying 1–2 extra EMIs yearly can reduce the tenure significantly.
This approach balances wealth creation and liability management.
Option 3: Split Funds Between Prepayment and Investments
Use a portion of Rs 9 lakhs for partial prepayment.
Invest the remaining amount in SIPs or other high-return instruments.
This ensures debt reduction and continued wealth growth.
Evaluating Return on Investment
Home Loan Interest vs SIP Returns
Your home loan interest rate of 9.25% is a guaranteed expense.
Equity SIPs typically yield higher returns, averaging 12–15% annually.
Investing in SIPs could create wealth faster than prepaying the loan.
Tax Benefits on Home Loan
You may claim tax deductions on home loan interest and principal.
Prepaying reduces the tax-saving benefits.
Recommended Approach
Maintain Emergency Liquidity
Retain Rs 2.5 lakhs or more in liquid funds.
This ensures financial stability during unforeseen situations.
Focus on SIP Investments
Continue SIPs to benefit from long-term compounding.
Increase your SIP contributions gradually with salary increments.
Make Partial Prepayments
Use a portion of Rs 9 lakhs for partial prepayment.
Aim to reduce the principal significantly to lower interest outflows.
Pay Extra EMIs
Commit to paying at least 2 extra EMIs annually.
This reduces your loan tenure and interest burden effectively.
Avoid Common Pitfalls
Do Not Over-Allocate to Loan Prepayment
Avoid locking all your funds into loan repayment.
This limits your liquidity and investment potential.
Avoid Real Estate Investments
Real estate involves high costs, illiquidity, and uncertain returns.
Stick to diversified mutual funds or equity investments instead.
Maintain Disciplined Financial Planning
Ensure a balanced approach between debt reduction and wealth creation.
Review your financial goals annually for necessary adjustments.
Final Insights
Your financial journey is off to a great start. Continue with SIP investments to maximise long-term growth. Use surplus funds for partial loan prepayments and extra EMIs to manage your debt efficiently. Balancing both strategies will ensure a secure financial future and help you achieve your goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7362 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024
Money
51 years old , I am started 25000 rs investment in mutual fund from last year , presently two houses one loan of rs 40 lakhs and 1/2 kg gold and 35lakhs fd, and 1 open plot of worth 65Lakhs my daughter is studying B.E and son 9th is it effoungh for my retirement.Lic of rs 5000.rs.per month.
Ans: At 51, you are building a good foundation for retirement. Let us evaluate your current situation and provide actionable insights to strengthen your plan.

Current Financial Assets
Mutual Funds: A monthly SIP of Rs. 25,000 started last year is a strong beginning.

Real Estate: You own two houses and an open plot worth Rs. 65 lakhs.

Fixed Deposits (FDs): You have Rs. 35 lakhs in FDs for stability.

Gold: Possession of 1/2 kg of gold adds diversification to your portfolio.

Insurance: A LIC premium of Rs. 5,000 monthly ensures some financial protection.

Loan: You have a Rs. 40 lakh home loan that requires regular servicing.

Strengths in Your Portfolio
Asset Diversification: Your portfolio includes real estate, mutual funds, gold, and fixed deposits.

Children’s Education: You are well-placed to support their higher education expenses.

Steady Investments: The SIP ensures consistent contributions towards wealth creation.

Areas for Improvement
Mutual Fund Investments
Expand Your SIP Contributions: Rs. 25,000 monthly may need an increase to meet retirement goals.

Focus on Active Funds: Actively managed funds can deliver higher returns than index funds over time.

Disadvantages of Index Funds: Index funds lack adaptability during market fluctuations, limiting growth potential.

Use Regular Plans Through CFP: Regular funds ensure expert guidance, tax efficiency, and consistent monitoring.

Real Estate
Low Liquidity: Real estate may not offer quick access to cash during emergencies.

Maintenance Costs: Real estate requires ongoing expenses, reducing its overall profitability.

Fixed Deposits
Inflation Risk: FD returns are lower and may not match inflation rates.

Better Alternatives: Consider debt funds for higher post-tax returns.

LIC Premiums
Low Returns: Traditional insurance policies like LIC provide limited returns compared to mutual funds.

Recommendation: Surrender and reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds for better growth.

Children’s Education Planning
Daughter’s Higher Education: Prioritise building a specific education fund for her postgraduate expenses.

Son’s Future Needs: Start early to save for his higher education.

Balanced Allocation: Use equity for growth and debt for stability in these funds.

Loan Management
Accelerate Loan Repayment: Clear your Rs. 40 lakh home loan faster to reduce interest costs.

Avoid New Debt: Focus on reducing liabilities to achieve financial independence sooner.

Emergency Fund
Liquidity is Key: Ensure at least 6–12 months of expenses in a liquid emergency corpus.

Fund Sources: Your FDs or a portion of your SIP can be redirected for this.

Retirement Planning
Corpus Estimation
Inflation Adjustment: Factor in inflation to calculate the required retirement corpus.

Living Expenses: Estimate your monthly needs post-retirement, including healthcare and leisure.

Asset Rebalancing
Gradual Shift to Debt Funds: From 55 onwards, reduce equity exposure for stability.

Balanced Allocation: Aim for a 60% debt and 40% equity ratio by retirement.

Tax Efficiency
New MF Tax Rules: Plan redemptions considering the 12.5% LTCG tax above Rs. 1.25 lakh.

Debt Funds Taxation: Gains are taxed as per your income slab; plan accordingly.

Final Insights
Your current financial status is strong, but enhancements are necessary. Increase SIP contributions, diversify into actively managed funds, and focus on reducing liabilities. Revisit your LIC policy and redirect funds for higher returns. Secure your children's education and your retirement with a clear and balanced strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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