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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |599 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My name is Faraha. Don't want to share my last name. I am 25 year old and working in a MNC in Bangalore. I met a guy at office who is a Hindu and we fell in love. It has been 1 years since we are into relationship, we both have agreed to become life partner and both have agreed not change religion and continue living as we are now. My parents are looking for alliance for me and they want to marry me off to a cousin working in middle East. I am not at all interested as well grew up together as a brother and sister and I have no feeling towards him. My mother tried to convenience me saying things will be better after marriage, and I dnt have courage enough to tell them about my relationship at work. I don't want to marry against my will and at the same time I don't want to break my parents heart. How do I come out of this situation? Please advice ..I have no rights to take decision on my life partner like other woman has? Why am I being published? I just want to marry the guy I love ...

Ans: Dear Faraha,

I am so sorry that you are in a situation where you feel you have no right to choose your own partner. I understand your dilemma. The only advice I can give right now is you speak to your parents about your wish not to marry the man they found for you. You can be honest and tell them your concerns. If you are not ready to disclose your relationship right now, that is okay. But the important thing is to not get forced into marrying someone you are neither attracted to nor comfortable with; you are an adult and you have every right to choose your partner. Having said that, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to convince parents. Clear and open communication is the only way. Once you can convince them to not go forward with this current alliance, you can slowly bring up the matter of your relationship. Not right away, but once things have cooled down a bit. I hope everything works out for you.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, actually I am having a trouble in my relationship. Me and my partner are from different castes but we love each other. Due to the fear of my parents I told him some days back that my parents will never agree for our marriage as he is one year younger than me, he is from different caste and we both are in the final stage of our professional course and have not gone for job yet. But we are unable to leave each other and keep on crying. Now I am thinking of talking about this to my parents once my exams are over in a couple of months because I'm already 24 and they will start looking for alliance for me. But my partner is like there's no problem on his side but he doesn't want me to hurt and ruin relationship with my parents due to this disclosure and says that its never going to happen with heavy emotions and teary eyes. I am also unable to control my emotions and tears. Please advise me on what to do please mam....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, your partner is being kind and thinking for you and your relationship with your parents. It is a nice trait to have to be empathetic but it may cost him the relationship. And he has taken this stance only because you have talked him about how fearful you are of your parents.
I guess instead of giving up like this, why don't the two of you sit down as adults and discuss how to talk to your parents and make this happen. When you act against what society and family set as norms, you should have expected something to go against the fairy tale event, right?
Since you did not set this tone in mind, now it's about taking the bull by the horns and finding what's the best solution. Why give up?

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been in a relationship with a guy since 10th grade its been 11 years now so we decided to tell our parents his family had no issues and he is currently in canada as a music student he has even started his own event management company but its still just beginning. My parents reacted in a healthy manner but the moment they came to know about inter caste and his financial status( not upto the mark) they had straight forwardly said no with alotbof drama and foul words even. Its been 9 months now im still waiting for them to agree but they are insisting me to move on and go for arrange marriage. I on the other hand belong to business family and has never done any job. But all this while i have cane to know i cant live without my parents or my bf and definitely not get marriaed to someone else. Please help me out what to do!
Ans: First, acknowledge that this situation requires careful navigation. Your relationship has stood the test of time, and clearly, you have strong feelings for your boyfriend, especially given that you've been together for 11 years. His dedication to pursuing his dreams in Canada and building his career in music and event management is admirable, even if his financial situation isn't yet stable. What you need to assess is whether you're willing to stand by him as he grows and whether you share the same vision for the future.

On the other hand, your parents’ concerns seem to stem from their desire for you to have a secure future, especially given your family's business background. They are likely looking for someone who fits into their worldview of stability, and this has led to their reaction when they learned about the inter-caste relationship and your boyfriend’s current financial situation. Their opposition is likely based on their love for you, but the drama and foul words, while hurtful, might reflect their frustration at feeling like they're losing control over your future.

You’ve expressed that you don’t want to lose either your parents or your boyfriend, and that’s where the conflict lies. In this case, the solution isn’t simple, but it can start with communication. It might be helpful to have an open, calm conversation with your parents—not to argue or change their minds immediately, but to help them understand your feelings. Let them know how much you value their opinion, but also explain why you love your boyfriend and why you believe in his potential. Sometimes parents need time to understand that relationships aren't only about caste or financial standing, but also about trust, love, and shared dreams.

At the same time, you might need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about your future together, especially given that he's still in the early stages of his career. Be honest about the pressure you're feeling from your family and make sure you're both on the same page about your long-term goals, including how you might handle financial challenges.

It's also important to remember that this decision is yours to make. You are in a unique position, being part of a business family, which means that you've likely been sheltered from certain financial realities. If you do choose to marry your boyfriend, the lifestyle may not immediately match what you’re used to. But if you're confident in his ambition and in the strength of your relationship, then that’s something worth considering as part of your future.

Lastly, while it’s painful to feel like you have to choose between two important parts of your life, it’s possible to work towards a solution that doesn’t leave you with regrets. Give your parents time to see your perspective, but also recognize that their acceptance might take longer than you’d like. In the meantime, staying true to what you value most in life—whether that’s love, security, or family harmony—will guide your decision-making process.

You might also benefit from seeking guidance from a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, who can help you navigate these conversations with both your parents and your boyfriend. This way, you can approach the situation with emotional clarity and respect for everyone involved, including yourself.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8867 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025
Money
I am 33 and I have around 6.4 Lakh Invested in Axis ELSS Tax Saver Fund,3 Lakh in SBI Long Term Equity Fund, 2.2 Lakh in SBI Bluechip Fund & 1.4 Lakh in SBI Focused Equity Fund. I am also running a 30000/- monthly SIP with almost 40% of it in Smallcap segment and 20% in Gold Fund. I have a NPS Auto Choice Account of 17 Lakh with a yearly addition of 1.2 lakh. How much can all this generate by the time of my retirement?
Ans: You have a strong base already. You are only 33 years old. You have around 25 years to grow your wealth till retirement. Let us analyse your total investments and long-term potential from a 360-degree view.

We will assess every part of your portfolio, the risks, the growth potential, and how you can improve it step by step.

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Your Present Investments in Mutual Funds

You have invested Rs. 6.4 lakh in ELSS, Rs. 3 lakh in a long-term equity fund, Rs. 2.2 lakh in a bluechip fund, and Rs. 1.4 lakh in a focused fund.

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Your total mutual fund lumpsum investment is Rs. 13 lakh.

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These funds are mostly equity-oriented and for long-term growth.

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ELSS funds are locked for 3 years but give tax benefits under section 80C.

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Your mix of ELSS, large cap and focused funds shows good diversification.

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The focus is more towards tax saving and large cap growth.

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This is suitable for someone with a stable income and long-term view.

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But your fund mix should be reviewed every year.

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Some funds may underperform over time and need replacement.

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Active monitoring gives better results than just investing and forgetting.

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A Certified Financial Planner can help you review and restructure if needed.

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Continue tracking performance every 6 months to stay on track.

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Your Monthly SIPs and Allocation Pattern

You are running a Rs. 30,000 SIP each month.

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40% of it is in small cap funds.

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20% is in gold mutual fund.

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The rest 40% seems to be in large/multi-cap or other diversified equity funds.

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Now let us analyse this composition:

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40% in small cap is quite aggressive.

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Small caps are very volatile. They can give high returns but also deep corrections.

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Keep small cap allocation below 25% in total equity SIPs.

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You can move some SIP amount to a balanced advantage fund.

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Balanced funds give stability when markets are down.

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20% in gold mutual fund is on the higher side.

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Gold is not a compounding asset like equity.

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Over long term, gold delivers lower return than equity.

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Use gold only for 5-10% of total portfolio. Not more.

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The rest 40% in equity is fine, but needs regular review.

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Maintain SIPs in regular plans through Certified Financial Planner.

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Direct funds give no handholding or guidance when markets fall.

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Regular plans help you stay committed and balanced.

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Rebalancing SIPs every 12–18 months improves returns and reduces risk.

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Your National Pension System (NPS) Contribution

You have Rs. 17 lakh corpus in NPS Auto Choice.

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You are adding Rs. 1.2 lakh per year to NPS.

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NPS Auto Choice invests automatically in equity, debt and govt securities.

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Your allocation will shift towards debt slowly as you age.

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This reduces risk after age 45.

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NPS is a good retirement asset due to long lock-in.

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But maturity proceeds are partly taxable and partly annuity.

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So don’t depend only on NPS for retirement.

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Use mutual funds also to build tax-efficient corpus.

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NPS is a supporting vehicle, not a full retirement solution.

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How Much Can All These Generate Till Retirement?

Let us assume you invest for 25 more years.

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You will add Rs. 30,000 monthly SIPs. That’s Rs. 3.6 lakh/year.

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You will also add Rs. 1.2 lakh/year to NPS.

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Your mutual fund lumpsum of Rs. 13 lakh continues to grow.

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Based on long-term equity CAGR of 11% to 12%, your corpus will grow strongly.

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In 25 years, your MF corpus alone can become several crores.

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Your NPS corpus can also cross Rs. 1 crore to Rs. 1.5 crore.

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Final retirement wealth can range between Rs. 3.5 crore to Rs. 5 crore or more.

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This depends on SIP discipline, fund choice, rebalancing and staying invested.

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Direct fund investors often lose returns due to fear and wrong decisions.

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Regular plan investors with Certified Financial Planner stay more consistent.

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That helps in wealth creation without panic or stopping SIPs.

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Improvement Areas in Your Current Strategy

Let us now talk about areas of improvement in your plan.

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Reduce gold fund SIP to 5% or 10%. Use rest in hybrid or flexi cap funds.

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Reduce small cap SIP exposure to 25% or less. Add large and balanced funds.

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Monitor ELSS performance. Don’t hold old ELSS just for tax benefit.

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Move older ELSS units to better performing funds after 3-year lock-in.

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Use a Certified Financial Planner for fund selection and annual review.

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Avoid investing through apps that show direct funds without guidance.

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Do not fall for lowest expense ratio trap.

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Many direct funds underperform due to no tracking or correction.

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Regular plans give you peace of mind and expert handholding.

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Start tracking goals – like retirement, home, child’s education.

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SIPs done without goals often get withdrawn during market dips.

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Emergency fund must be built separately. At least 6 months of expenses.

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Do not mix emergency savings and investments.

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Taxation Awareness You Must Keep in Mind

As your investments grow, tax rules will affect your returns.

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For equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year is taxed at 12.5%.

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STCG (less than 1 year) is taxed at 20%.

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For debt funds: gains are taxed as per your slab.

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NPS maturity is partly tax-free, partly annuity and taxable.

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Gold fund redemptions are taxed as per type of asset (debt-based).

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Plan your redemptions with tax calendar in mind.

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Avoid frequent switches. It reduces compounding and increases tax.

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Rebalance with minimal taxation in mind.

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Long-Term Stability Recommendations

You are already doing great.

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But to ensure success for next 25 years, follow these:

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Stick to SIP discipline no matter what market says.

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Review SIPs every year with Certified Financial Planner.

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Don’t change funds just because of short-term performance.

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Add hybrid and flexi-cap funds to reduce ups and downs.

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Avoid investing heavily in gold for long term.

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Shift risky allocation slowly to stable funds as you near 45.

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Use NPS only as a support system for retirement.

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Track your wealth growth every year without panic.

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Focus on goals and time horizon, not only on returns.

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Build Rs. 3 crore to Rs. 5 crore corpus slowly with consistent habits.

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Compounding rewards patience. Not shortcuts.

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Finally

You are already ahead of most investors of your age. Very disciplined.

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But success is not about starting alone. Staying the course is more important.

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Avoid gold fund overuse. Reduce small cap exposure slightly.

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Add stability via hybrid and balanced equity funds.

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Don’t switch to direct plans. They seem cheaper but may cost more emotionally.

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Investing through regular plans with Certified Financial Planner is safer.

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Continue current path with corrections. Retirement will be stress-free.

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Stay consistent. Review yearly. You will reach your wealth goals peacefully.

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Best Regards,
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K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
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Chief Financial Planner,
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www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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