Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 25, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
JS Question by JS on May 25, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Dear Ms. Anu Krishna, I came across a couple of your Columns Ask Anu this morning and instantly thought of taking your advice/opinion for the problems I am facing in my marriage.
And I would like to go anonymous for obvious reasons. Pls spare 5-6 mins to read below.
I am a 30 year old guy. I will try to keep it very short. I have been married for the last 6 years and we have a 4 year old child. It was a love and arranged marriage. Going to the past quickly, my wife and I got into a relationship about 2 years before marriage.
My wife is also the same age as mine, just 30 now. Though my wife never voluntarily revealed it earlier, later I got to realize that she was almost in an 8-9 years relationship with her school mate which started as early as from their high school. Since the boy was from a different religion, the boy's family did not accept their relationship and said no when the girl's parents approached with a marriage proposal after she spoke to her home. Since the boy did not have the courage to argue with his parents, they broke up their relationship with mutual consent however remained as friends.

During this time only we got to know each other and she instantly liked me and we got into a relationship. Several times I was suspicious about her so-called friend's (ex- bf) behaviour. But my gf never revealed it to me.
At one point of time I bumped into her red handed as she lied to me and went on a dinner date with him and after she saw me face to face she revealed he was her ex bf and he now says he want to marry her and doesn't care about his father's approval. I was shocked to hear this, as my gf was asking me what she should do. Her ex-bf talked to me saying to let her go as I was just a rebound relationship in her life and she loves him and their relationship is stronger for over 8 years as mine was just less than 2 years.

Though my mind could understand it, my heart did not.
When I asked my gf about this she said she loves me only and not to trust him however I could see she was not confident. Then she said we should get married soon to avoid such problems coming up. She spoke to her parents, they agreed, they liked me instantly.
My parents were slightly worried as I was in my early 25 year and so was she. However since I was in a very good job and well paid, so was my gf, I pushed my parents into accepting the marriage proposal promising we would be happy. We got married. After which problems started.

She was always very sad and down. She never showed that happiness how she used to be in our two years of relationship. She did not mingle with my family and friends. She always kept it to herself. She never wanted to be physical with me. She either said some random reasons or somehow avoided it. She used to go to her parents house very often and I noticed she was very happy there but not when she came back here.
Meanwhile she got pregnant with my child on one occasion where we got intimate and though she could not control that incident in advance, she kept saying let's stop this. But it happened. She got conceived and our son was born. Since she got conceived till date (5 years now) we hardly have been physically intimate less than 10 times only, out of my compulsion that too. The last time about a year ago she went to her parent's home and she did not return at all. Now she says she doesn't want to live with me and says there is no love and care in this marriage life. Now I tried several attempts to talk to her about what the issue was, she was never ready to discuss and it became bigger fights and bigger gaps between us. Her parents took her side and my parents are hopeless as they feel I have been hasty to enter married life in my very young age.
Now my wife stopped showing my son to me completely, in spite of my literally begging at least to let him be in touch with me., she denied and deprived me. Now she is asking for divorce. She left her job after marriage and now lives on her parents' support only. She vacated her house and lives in some apartment with her parents I guess, for which I don't know the address.

I feel she is in touch with her ex-bf which might be the problem for all this chaos, however I am unsure of it. I want to save this marriage. I really don't know what to do. I offered her many solutions like she can do higher studies or start some business if she likes or can go to work, and I am ready to support her wholeheartedly. I have told this several times since she quit her job voluntarily after marriage. She isn't ready for any and all she wants now is divorce. I approached the senior members of her relatives where everyone says they are unaware about her whereabouts. She has not responded and returned my calls or messages for almost 7-8 months now.
I don't want to get divorced. I love her. I love my son and I miss him.
I want to fix it somehow. She isn't ready to go to for couples counselling to solve this, neither responds to any mediation from my side senior members of the family and relatives.
About me, I am a good-hearted guy. Yes, I have flaws, sometimes I am a little dominating and might get angry and speak harsh words. I have changed a lot over the years and it's gotten better these days. Apart from that, I don't have any negatives I believe.
Help me. Pls give suggestions on what to do.
Thanks in advance Ms. Anu. Sincerely awaiting your sincere advice/solution.

Ans:

Dear JS,

You love her, but does she love you? Has she ever loved you?

Be very truthful about answering this…What’s the point pursuing a relationship when there isn’t any to begin with?

Why do people think that marriage or having children can bring two people closer or set things right in a relationship? They are not FIX-ITS; so let’s stop pretending that all will be fine once you do this, this and that.

Look within; boyfriend still hangs around to tell you to let her go.

Didn’t you think it was necessary to clarify things with her before marrying her?

Anyway, a lot has happened, and I can only empathize with you. You do have the right to meet your child and the only route is the legal one as she is clearly set not to get back with you.

Ask yourself these reality check questions:

Is she going to come back and make the marriage work together?

Is she going to allow me to meet the child without any resistance?

Is she willing to do a lot of inner work with a professional?

If the answers to the above are NO, then step up and do the right thing for your child as well. He does have the right to receive love from his father as well.

Marriage or any relationship requires a lot of love to grow together and shedding of egos.

A strong WHY to be in the relationship. When the foundation itself is weak, how can this work?

Being good-hearted is great, but if has begin to erode your peace, its’ time to re-evaluate and be good to yourself first.

If you want this marriage to work, do establish, connection with her, and please go into therapy together. Make the foundation of marriage so strong that it’s built only on trust. Love, compassion and respect. So, now you know what you can do and how.

All the best and be happy!

    You may like to see similar questions and answers below

    Love Guru

    Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

    Love Guru

    Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

    Listen
    Relationship
    Dear Love Guru, My wife and I are in an arranged marriage since around 15 years and there is nothing that we celebrate about our relationship, except kids which are the only reason for our existing relations. I am working abroad and have visits for a month on vacation after every couple of months. After marriage, I noticed my wife’s flirting behaviour with strange men (to seduce) during many occasions but initially ignored it. However, I found it frustrating when I felt her to be habitual flirter. I then spoke to her, which was after around 2.5 years of our marriage, and she denied the matter. Soon noticing such perpetual habits about her, we went on for non-talking terms some time and then a storm broke out in our house. My parents and her parents supported her, since I couldn’t prove any of her behaviour. She has been lying since her behaviour was noticed and even after that, but my love for her and my child (at that time) made me feel that probably that I need to avoid any suspicious behaviour. Such storm was repeated even recently few years earlier. I had thought my idea of a second child would improve our relations, but it hasn’t helped. I could still notice her flirting behaviour with strangers and even with known personnel including my relatives. I even believe her to be in relationship with one of my cousins, based on my observations of their behaviour during our every meet, which I cannot speak of due to my previous experience and which will otherwise definitely terminate our relations. Actually, we are never on good terms these days whenever I visit home and mostly converse only if required. We are also not good in bed and I have also been feeling a low erectile in bed these days. These moments have affected me psychologically and I feel very negative about our relationship. My family remains my priority and I have been trying to see that we all are all happy as a family. I have even sacrificed my own family time for better earnings so that my family can get all the best in life. She takes good care of the children and manages the house nicely. I also ensure that we, as a family, go out on long journeys for travel and my children are everything for me. I have trying to cope up with all this by focusing on work and socialising with friends to the best extent possible. However, her behaviour (in spite of my presence) makes me feel negative. How can I deal with the matter since any re-attempt on my part to speak on the same matter, even if cordially, with my wife will create another storm like earlier? I wish to sort out the differences and need your advice. Should we meet a counsellor separately on this to sort out the matter? Keep me anonymous and respect my privacy.
    Ans:

    You’ve been sweeping the same issues your marriage has faced from the very beginning under the carpet for 15 years. Why?

    And instead of addressing the issues, you decided to go ahead and have a second child?

    Having a child is a joy in itself, but it is never the solution to marital woes; in fact, in most cases it only exacerbates the problem.

    From everything you’ve told me, you seem to come across as an insecure husband.

    I’m not saying that what you’ve told me is untrue, but you keep suspecting your wife of flirting with random men and have no proof of it.

    Both sides of the family support her and let me tell you, unless she is a master of deception, no one can conceal their true nature so well from everyone else for the better part of two decades.

    Maybe what you construe as flirting is simply her being friendly? Maybe you’re just not comfortable with the manner in which she interacts with other men?

    Have you ever managed to prove her inappropriate relations? And when you accuse her, she blows up at you... a guilty party would not react in so volatile a manner.

    I do think marital counselling is in order. And yes, maybe separately at first and then together.

    Contact a good therapist and do it sooner rather than later... 15 years has been long enough!

     

    ..Read more

    Kanchan

    Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2024Hindi
    Listen
    Relationship
    Hi.. I am 49 yrs Male & married for 22 yrs with teenage kids.. I live abroad since 16 yrs.. Me & wife had arranged marriage in the same caste when we were in India.. After few months of marriage, my wife told me about her past relationship during collage and only reason she could not continue because of his father resistance( diff caste).. I belong to very middle class with no such precedence like this and felt bad . Later, I continued with her but always had feeling that she would compare the love & affection she got from him, with me.. I am not very romantic or expressive and like to live normal life..! We have little diff of opinion since beginning and will have fight almost every week.. Fast forward when all was going ok with 2 kids, busy work in abroad, I caught her cheating with the same person ( almost 17 yrs after they separated).. They found each other on social media and started talking. .. She being abroad & him in India, will call him daily in my absence for hours and they exchange explicit messages day in and out..! Once caught initially she regretted ( that too only after i got really mad & threaten to tell everyone) and it took us 2-3 yrs to comeback to terms mostly due to younger kids..!! Now 10 yrs later, i found her calling ( although he did not pickup) and now she is telling that she has emotional connection with him from the past while I could not build that connection with her.. She is not commit for anything and requesting me to continue as friend so we can get our younger one to collage and then see or separate. She is even ready to find me someone that fits my choice. I am in dilemma on what to do as i am not ready to forgive her but worried about kids future..! Even though we stay aboard, we have very close network of friends & family which we cant ignore..! I somehow feel to let it go but i get irritated that this is not the life i would like to live now & future. Can you pls advise some tips to move forward
    Ans: it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. You’ve been patient and committed, but her actions have undermined the trust in your marriage. It’s not just about the past relationship; it’s about how her choices have affected your life and your sense of security in the relationship.

    One option is to seek couples therapy. Even if your wife seems unsure about the future, a neutral third party can help facilitate conversations that might clarify what each of you really wants and needs. Therapy could also help in finding a way to co-parent effectively if you decide to separate.

    If staying together for the kids is a priority, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. You need to decide what’s non-negotiable for you in terms of respect and honesty. If she’s truly committed to staying in the marriage until your kids are older, she needs to show that by cutting off contact with this other person and working on rebuilding your relationship.

    However, if you feel that you can’t move past this betrayal or that staying will only lead to more resentment and unhappiness, it might be worth considering a separation. Kids are resilient, and it’s often better for them to see their parents happy apart rather than miserable together.

    Ultimately, this decision is about what kind of life you want to live moving forward. You deserve a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved. Take your time to consider what will bring you the most peace and happiness in the long run, and don’t be afraid to prioritize your own well-being.

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi
    Listen
    Relationship
    Hi.. I am 49 yrs Male & married for 22 yrs with teenage kids.. I live abroad since 16 yrs.. Me & wife had arranged marriage in the same caste when we were in India.. After few months of marriage, my wife told me about her past relationship during collage and only reason she could not continue because of his father resistance( diff caste).. I belong to very middle class with no such precedence like this and felt bad . Later, I continued with her but always had feeling that she would compare the love & affection she got from him, with me.. I am not very romantic or expressive and like to live normal life..! We have little diff of opinion since beginning and will have fight almost every week.. Fast forward when all was going ok with 2 kids, busy work in abroad, I caught her cheating with the same person ( almost 17 yrs after they separated).. They found each other on social media and started talking. .. She being abroad & him in India, will call him daily in my absence for hours and they exchange explicit messages day in and out..! Once caught initially she regretted ( that too only after i got really mad & threaten to tell everyone) and it took us 2-3 yrs to comeback to terms mostly due to younger kids..!! Now 10 yrs later, i found her calling ( although he did not pickup) and now she is telling that she has emotional connection with him from the past while I could not build that connection with her.. She is not committing that this will not happen in future & requesting me to continue as friend, so we can get our younger one to collage and then see if it is worth or separate out. She is even ready to find me someone that fits my choice. I am in dilemma on what to do as i am not ready to forgive her but worried about kids future..! Even though we stay aboard, we have very close network of friends & family which we cant ignore..! I somehow feel to let it go but i get irritated that this is not the life i would like to live now & future. Can you pls advise some tips to move forward
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    At times, relationships run dry and reach a breaking point...you will know if yours, is at that point because if it is and your wife is more interested in finding someone for you rather than addressing the turmoil in your marriage, isn't it evidence enough for you?

    Have a clear chat/conversation and find out if she still feels anything for you or whether all love is lost...If she is still interested in pursuing the other person without as much as thinking of how this is going to impact the marriage and family, I guess there is little that you can do. Then you may have to wait as suggested by her till your younger one goes to college. As for friends and family, they will initially talk and blame you or her; slowly that will stop. Your Life, Your Choice...You know what's best...
    So, appeal to her and if that is not what she wants, respect her decision. It's difficult BUT imagine living under the same roof and finding your wife emotionally connecting with someone else...Preserve your sane mind...

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Anu

    Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

    Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

    Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
    Relationship
    Hi Anu, I am 44 years old married Man with a 16 year old son. We had a love marriage, and I met my wife in college. She was beautiful when she was 18 and beyond gorgeous at 44 and has a very loving nature. She has attracted attention from young and old all her life and I know she would continue to do so. I also had the looks and charisma to woo a girl once upon a time, but years of work and family stress had made me an average middle-aged man. Around a year after our marriage, my wife had her first affair with a coworker, which I could find out immediately as in those days we used to have a common phone. She apologized and I forgot about it and never tried to dig deep into it. I later learnt she had developed a liking for a second coworker within a year (After I dig into the things that have happened to me over last 4-5 years). I still do not know if she had a second affair at that point of time, but she was in touch with that guy through messages and video calls till 2020. Our child was born 3 years after our marriage and for few years we had a harmonious relationship although we had our ups and downs. It was early in my career and I had taken a challenging job profile, where I was required to work for 10-12 hours on regular basis. I was there for her when she required but I was not omnipresent. There were times, when I neglected her as I was busy with my career. In addition, I slowly got more attached to my son, who was growing up and taking all the attention at home. In our relationship only she was complaining all the time and I simply kept doing things to please her. I wanted her to be independent and explore the world but residing under a same roof and raising the family and also allow me to achieve my career goals and fulfill the responsibilities of a Son. In between all these, we started to drift apart. Drifting apart didn’t mean we didn’t have sex or we became a non-functional family. We did have regular good sex 7 to 10 days apart and we travelled a lot together all these years as a happy family. Even after her known past affair, I never doubted on her integrity when she used to talk with her male friends/Office colleagues with doors closed. I got the first shock in our relationship, when she declined to move with me when I was transferred to a new location. I pleaded her to come with me as the location was on another corner of the country and it would not be possible for me to come and meet them even once in a month. But she didn’t agree. But God had other plans and after 2 years of living alone COVID stuck. During this period of uncertainty, she reluctantly agreed to move in with me. After I brought them with me, she kept avoiding me. She slept in a separate room and did not allow any kind of physical intimacy. This continued for about 4 months and then it stuck my mind :- Is she having an affair? One night I scanned all her call records, her facebook etc and I was devasted by what I found. She was having an affair with a guy who 12 years her junior and multiple hook-ups with others. When confronted she assured me she will end this but me and my Son caught her multiple times over the last 4 years even after the guy got married and relocated to another country. The last discovery was ugly as we had just come back from a vacation and my son just happen to find some obscene pictures of his mom sent to her married boyfriend. Even after all these, I try to remain calm most of the time as I did not want to disturb the peace of my home as my son is in most critical phase of his carrier. Over last 4 years, I did my part to become a better husband:- by giving her more time to understand her better, tried to listen to her, fulfilling all her wishes, help her in household chores, set her up in a new job etc. As on today, I have access to her phone, her email etc. Sometimes I feel I have made progress, but when it comes to bed, it all comes to naught. She’s really not the women I fell in love with. Over the years she has become very manipulative and secretive. She showers me with fake love to keep the family life going. She is otherwise a very dedicated Mother and takes good care of the house. There is no real love, no passion. When I question her, she asks me to go find love somewhere else. I think she has checked herself out of this relationship mentally quite sometime ago. I wonder how long I can handle this rejection on day to day basis. I still want to save this marriage where there is true spouse love. Do I stand a chance. - Anonymous
    Ans: Dear Anonymous,
    You should know by now that your wife has mentally checked out of the relationship. Yes, pieces and parts of her still linger around the family BUT how truly is she committed? Rather than skirting around the issue like the way it has been happening, why don't the two of you actually have an honest conversation about it?
    There's a reason why she finds connecting with people outside of marriage rather actually share that emotional and physical space with you. Do you both not want to work on this and come to some sort of a conclusion here?
    At least then you will know if there is any scope for reconciliation or things have gotten worse.
    Having her phone and monitoring her, has it changed what she does? This is just keeping you and your son on the edge and I believe each of us is entitled to some peace in our lives, right?
    So, now talk together and with one another...Know what she wants and clearly state what you want and then see for yourself where all this is leading to...

    All the best!
    Anu Krishna
    Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
    Drop in: www.unfear.io
    Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

    ..Read more

    Latest Questions
    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Money
    Hello Sir I am investing in 5 different 7200 per month total 36000 fund as below Axis large and midcap
    Ans: You have shown strong financial discipline.
    Regular monthly investing reflects serious intent.
    Staying invested needs patience and belief.
    Your effort over time deserves appreciation.

    » Current Investment Structure Overview

    – You invest Rs. 36,000 every month.
    – Amount is split across five equity-oriented strategies.
    – This shows diversification intent.
    – Diversification reduces single-style risk.

    – Monthly investing suits salaried income patterns.
    – SIPs align well with long-term goals.
    – Equity exposure suits wealth creation goals.

    – Five funds is manageable but needs review.
    – More funds do not mean better safety.
    – Proper role clarity matters more.

    » Portfolio Intent and Goal Alignment

    – Your goal appears long-term wealth creation.
    – Equity suits goals beyond seven years.
    – Time horizon supports market volatility absorption.

    – Long-term goals need consistent behaviour.
    – Discipline matters more than fund selection.
    – Staying invested creates compounding benefits.

    – Your approach matches long-term thinking.
    – This mindset improves outcome probability.

    » Asset Allocation Perspective

    – Your portfolio is equity-heavy.
    – Equity brings higher volatility short term.
    – Equity rewards patience over time.

    – Ensure debt investments exist separately.
    – Debt brings stability and peace.
    – Debt supports emergencies and near-term needs.

    – Keeping debt separate is sensible.
    – It improves mental clarity.

    » Diversification Quality Assessment

    – Diversification across market segments exists.
    – Exposure covers large and mid-sized companies.
    – This balances stability and growth potential.

    – Too much overlap can reduce benefits.
    – Similar stocks may repeat across strategies.
    – This reduces true diversification.

    – Over-diversification also reduces conviction.
    – Fewer focused strategies work better.

    » Need for Portfolio Simplification

    – Five equity strategies may be reviewed.
    – Simplification improves tracking and control.
    – Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

    – Each fund must have a clear role.
    – Avoid duplication of investment styles.

    – Consolidation improves portfolio efficiency.
    – It also reduces emotional confusion.

    » Actively Managed Strategy Advantage

    – Actively managed funds use research-based decisions.
    – Managers adjust allocations with market changes.
    – They respond to valuations and risks.

    – Indian markets reward active stock selection.
    – Corporate quality varies widely here.
    – Active monitoring adds value.

    – Fund managers avoid weak businesses earlier.
    – This protects downside during market stress.

    – Active management suits long-term Indian investors.

    » Why Passive Strategies Have Limitations

    – Passive strategies track markets blindly.
    – They stay fully invested always.
    – They cannot reduce risk during excess valuations.

    – Overvalued stocks remain included.
    – Weak companies stay until index changes.

    – There is no human judgement.
    – No valuation discipline exists.

    – During corrections, losses are full.
    – There is no downside protection.

    – Actively managed funds handle volatility better.
    – They aim to protect capital also.

    » SIP Amount Adequacy Review

    – Rs. 36,000 monthly is meaningful.
    – Consistency matters more than starting amount.

    – Income growth should drive future increases.
    – Step-ups improve long-term results.

    – Avoid stretching finances for higher SIPs.
    – Comfort matters for sustainability.

    » Step-Up Strategy Insight

    – Step-ups should match income growth.
    – Aggressive step-ups increase stress risk.

    – Stable step-ups are more practical.
    – Even moderate increases work well.

    – Review step-ups annually.
    – Adjust based on cash flows.

    – Flexibility is more important than targets.

    » Behavioural Discipline Evaluation

    – You stayed invested consistently.
    – This shows emotional maturity.

    – Many investors stop during volatility.
    – You continued despite market noise.

    – This behaviour creates long-term wealth.

    – Avoid frequent portfolio checking.
    – Market movements can trigger fear.

    » Market Volatility Preparedness

    – Equity markets move in cycles.
    – Sharp corrections are normal.

    – Expect at least one major fall.
    – Emotional readiness matters most then.

    – SIPs help manage volatility impact.
    – They average costs automatically.

    – Stay focused on long-term goals.

    » Rebalancing Strategy Importance

    – Rebalancing protects accumulated gains.
    – It manages risk over time.

    – Equity exposure should reduce gradually.
    – Especially near goal timelines.

    – Rebalancing must be rule-based.
    – Avoid emotional decisions.

    » Tax Awareness for Equity Investments

    – Equity taxation rules have changed.
    – Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh face tax.

    – Short-term gains attract higher tax.
    – Frequent churn increases tax burden.

    – Long-term holding improves tax efficiency.

    – Planned withdrawals reduce tax impact.

    » Cash Flow and Emergency Planning

    – Emergency fund is essential.
    – Six months expenses is ideal.

    – Emergency money should be liquid.
    – Avoid equity for emergencies.

    – This protects investments during crises.

    » Insurance and Protection Planning

    – Health insurance coverage must be adequate.
    – Medical inflation rises fast.

    – Term insurance should cover dependents.
    – Coverage must match responsibilities.

    – Protection supports long-term investing success.

    » Lifestyle Inflation Management

    – Income growth increases lifestyle temptation.
    – Expenses should grow slower.

    – Savings rate decides wealth creation speed.
    – Control lifestyle upgrades consciously.

    » Review Frequency Guidance

    – Annual review is enough.
    – Avoid monthly changes.

    – Review after major life events.
    – Income changes need updates.

    – Market news alone needs no action.

    » Monitoring Progress Towards Goals

    – Track progress once a year.
    – Use realistic expectations.

    – Markets will not move linearly.
    – Shortfalls are normal sometimes.

    – Focus on consistency and discipline.

    » Role of Professional Guidance

    – Regular plans offer ongoing support.
    – Guidance helps during volatile periods.

    – A Certified Financial Planner adds value.
    – Behaviour coaching matters most.

    – Long-term success depends on decisions.

    » Estate and Nomination Planning

    – Ensure all nominations are updated.
    – This avoids family stress later.

    – Writing a simple will helps.
    – It provides clarity and peace.

    » Finally

    – Your investing habit is strong.
    – Your consistency builds financial strength.

    – Portfolio structure is broadly suitable.
    – Simplification can improve efficiency.

    – Active management supports Indian markets well.
    – Behaviour discipline will decide outcomes.

    – Stay patient and review yearly.
    – Wealth creation is a journey.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Hello sir I am investing 7200 per month in 5 different fund with expected step up of 20% in coming may 2026 detail below and xirr 14.24% Axis large mid cap 224070/ HDFC bse sensex 214998 Mirae asset midcap fund 231265/ Parag Parikh flexi 225912/ Quant large and midcap fund 210315 This is going since last 3 years started with 25k total accumulation 1133560/ This is for my long term goal like 8 cr in 10 year and used that fund accordingly Is this portfolio looking good ? Are any changes needed is step up good for target please help suggest and modification actually I got these funds 3 year back from my CA friend and since then they are as is with no changes please give your input and changes needed I am also investing govt employe regular scheme as well as debt fund but will be keeping them seperate from this portfolio please help reviewing
    Ans: You are doing many things correctly.
    Your discipline and patience deserve appreciation.
    Three years of steady investing shows strong intent.
    Your clarity on long-term goals is a big strength.

    » Overall Portfolio Structure Assessment

    – Your portfolio is fully equity-oriented.
    – Equity is suitable for long-term wealth goals.
    – A ten-year horizon supports equity exposure.
    – Your diversification across styles is sensible.
    – Exposure spans large, mid, and flexible strategies.

    – This reduces dependency on one market segment.
    – Your portfolio avoided extreme sector concentration.
    – Volatility risk is still present and expected.
    – Emotional discipline will be very important ahead.

    – Your current value growth shows market participation.
    – XIRR above inflation is encouraging.
    – Returns may fluctuate sharply during market cycles.

    » SIP Discipline and Behaviour Review

    – Monthly investing builds strong financial habits.
    – SIPs reduce timing risk over market cycles.
    – Consistency matters more than fund switching.
    – Your three-year continuity is a positive sign.

    – Markets rewarded patience during volatile phases.
    – You stayed invested during uncertain periods.
    – That behaviour improves long-term outcomes.

    – SIPs also support emotional stability.
    – They prevent impulsive lump-sum decisions.

    » Step-Up Strategy Evaluation

    – A 20 percent annual step-up is aggressive.
    – Aggressive step-ups suit rising income profiles.
    – Sustainability matters more than intention.

    – Review income growth before committing yearly.
    – Ensure lifestyle expenses remain comfortable.
    – Avoid stress-driven investment decisions.

    – If income growth is uneven, reduce step-up.
    – Even 10 to 15 percent works well.

    – Flexibility is better than forced commitments.
    – Step-ups should feel easy, not painful.

    » Goal Feasibility Review for Rs. 8 Crore

    – A large goal needs multiple support pillars.
    – SIP alone may not be enough.
    – Step-ups improve probability, not certainty.

    – Market returns are not linear.
    – Ten-year periods can include flat phases.
    – Expect at least one deep correction.

    – Equity helps beat inflation over time.
    – But equity never guarantees fixed outcomes.

    – You must prepare for shortfall scenarios.
    – Backup plans are part of smart planning.

    » Portfolio Concentration and Overlap

    – Multiple funds can still overlap.
    – Similar stocks appear across strategies.
    – Overlap reduces true diversification benefits.

    – Too many funds dilute conviction.
    – Fewer, well-managed strategies work better.

    – Portfolio simplicity improves tracking and discipline.
    – Monitoring becomes easier with fewer holdings.

    – Consider consolidating into fewer categories.
    – Keep allocation intentional, not accidental.

    » Fund Management Style Balance

    – You hold growth-oriented strategies.
    – Mid-segment exposure increases volatility.
    – Flexibility helps adjust across cycles.

    – Actively managed strategies add value here.
    – Skilled managers adjust allocations dynamically.
    – They respond to valuations and risks.

    – This is helpful in volatile markets.
    – Active decisions reduce downside impact sometimes.

    » About Index-Oriented Investing Reference

    – One holding tracks a broad market index.
    – Index strategies follow markets blindly.
    – They cannot avoid overvalued stocks.

    – Index portfolios stay fully invested always.
    – They suffer fully during market falls.
    – No defensive action is possible.

    – Index funds ignore business quality shifts.
    – Poor companies remain until index changes.

    – Actively managed funds avoid weak businesses earlier.
    – Fund managers use research-based decisions.
    – They manage risk, not just returns.

    – Over long periods, good active funds outperform.
    – Especially in emerging markets like India.

    – Indian markets reward stock selection skill.
    – Active management adds meaningful value here.

    » Risk Management Perspective

    – Equity risk rises near goal timelines.
    – Ten years may feel long today.
    – It will reduce faster than expected.

    – Gradual risk reduction is essential later.
    – Do not stay fully aggressive always.

    – Portfolio rebalancing must be planned.
    – Shifting gains protects accumulated wealth.

    – Risk capacity differs from risk tolerance.
    – Income stability defines risk capacity.
    – Emotions define risk tolerance.

    » Tax Efficiency Awareness

    – Equity taxation rules have changed.
    – Long-term gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.
    – Short-term gains face higher taxation now.

    – Frequent churn increases tax leakage.
    – Staying invested reduces unnecessary taxes.

    – Goal-based withdrawals help manage tax impact.
    – Random redemptions reduce efficiency.

    » Behavioural Finance Observations

    – You trusted advice and stayed consistent.
    – That discipline deserves appreciation.

    – Avoid frequent performance comparisons.
    – Social media creates unnecessary anxiety.

    – Markets move in cycles, not straight lines.
    – Patience creates wealth, not speed.

    – Avoid reacting to short-term news.
    – News is noise for long-term investors.

    » Role of Debt and Government Schemes

    – Keeping debt investments separate is wise.
    – Debt adds stability to total wealth.

    – Government schemes support capital protection.
    – They also provide predictable cash flows.

    – Use debt for near-term goals.
    – Use equity only for long-term goals.

    – This separation improves mental clarity.

    » Portfolio Review Frequency

    – Annual review is sufficient.
    – Avoid quarterly tinkering.

    – Review after major life changes.
    – Income changes need strategy updates.

    – Market events alone need no action.

    » Emergency and Protection Planning

    – Ensure adequate emergency reserves exist.
    – Six months expenses is ideal.

    – Health insurance should be sufficient.
    – Cover must rise with medical inflation.

    – Term insurance should protect dependents.
    – Coverage should match responsibilities.

    – Protection planning supports investment success.

    » Inflation and Lifestyle Planning

    – Inflation erodes purchasing power silently.
    – Equity helps fight inflation over time.

    – Lifestyle upgrades must be planned.
    – Avoid increasing expenses with income fully.

    – Savings rate matters more than returns.

    » Estate and Nomination Planning

    – Ensure nominations are updated.
    – This avoids future family stress.

    – Write a simple will.
    – It gives clarity and peace.

    » Rebalancing Strategy Guidance

    – Do not rebalance emotionally.
    – Follow predefined asset ranges.

    – Shift profits after strong rallies.
    – Add equity during deep corrections.

    – Rebalancing improves risk-adjusted returns.

    » Monitoring Progress Towards Goal

    – Track progress annually.
    – Use realistic expectations.

    – Do not anchor to fixed numbers.
    – Markets rarely cooperate perfectly.

    – Focus on process, not prediction.

    » Finally

    – Your foundation is strong and disciplined.
    – Your intent and consistency are commendable.

    – Portfolio structure is broadly appropriate.
    – Some consolidation may improve efficiency.

    – Step-up should remain flexible.
    – Sustainability matters more than aggression.

    – Active management suits your long-term goal.
    – Behavioural discipline will decide outcomes.

    – Continue reviewing holistically each year.
    – Adjust strategy, not emotions.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Naveenn

    Naveenn Kummar  |237 Answers  |Ask -

    Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2025

    Money
    hello, i took an insurance policy in 2021 from TATA AIA SAMPOORNA RAKSHAK which has 12 premium for 12 years and the policy goes on for 80+years with 50 lakh insurance i paic my first premium of 1,35000 yearly, but my fortune change and i lost my handsome salary job and i was unable to pay that premium so i needed to stop that as my family primary expenses comes first.sir the insurance company say you wont get this premium back as its already written in terms and condition book,but for me its an huge amount. i would like to know from you that can i get this money from company legally or not and if so how can i get it back. thankyou.
    Ans: Hello. I understand why this hurts. ?1.35 lakh is not a small amount, especially when life takes an unexpected turn. Let me explain this calmly and clearly so you know exactly where you stand and what is realistically possible.

    First, the hard truth about this policy
    Tata AIA Life Insurance Sampoorna Rakshak is a pure term insurance plan.
    In term insurance:

    There is no savings or investment component

    The premium is paid only for risk cover

    If the policy lapses early, there is no surrender value

    Since you paid only the first year premium and could not continue, the policy lapsed. As per IRDAI rules and the policy contract, term plans do not refund premiums once risk cover has started, even for one year.

    So from a legal and regulatory standpoint, the insurer is technically correct.

    Can you get the money back legally?
    Let me be very honest and practical.

    1. Legal refund claim
    Not possible, unless there was:

    Mis-selling (false promises of return, savings, maturity value)

    Incorrect information given in writing

    Forged consent or wrong policy explained as an investment plan

    If the agent verbally said things like:

    “You will get money back”

    “This works like an investment”

    “You can withdraw later”

    and you have proof (WhatsApp, email, brochure), then you may have a case.

    Without proof, a court or ombudsman will side with the policy wording.

    2. Free look period option
    This allows refund within 15–30 days of policy issuance.
    Your policy is from 2021, so this option is long gone.

    What options are realistically left now?
    Option 1: Escalation request (low success, but try)
    You can still request a goodwill consideration, not a legal claim.

    Write a calm email to:

    Tata AIA grievance cell

    Mention job loss, financial hardship

    Request partial refund or conversion to paid-up (they will likely say no, but try once)

    Do not expect much, but sometimes insurers offer ex-gratia rejection confirmation which helps closure.

    Option 2: Insurance Ombudsman (for peace of mind)
    You may approach the Insurance Ombudsman, but I want to be clear:

    Ombudsman follows policy terms

    For term plans, verdict is usually in favour of insurer

    This is more for mental closure than recovery.

    Why this feels unfair but is still allowed
    Think of it this way:

    For one year, your family had ?50 lakh protection

    The premium paid was for that one-year risk

    Just like car insurance, unused years are not refundable

    I am saying this not to justify the system, but to help you accept reality without guilt.

    One important emotional point
    You did nothing wrong by stopping the policy.
    Choosing food, rent, education, and survival over insurance is financial wisdom, not failure.

    Many people continue policies out of fear and end up in debt. You didn’t.

    You handled a tough phase responsibly. That matters more than a lost premium.

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
    Money
    I have a credit card written off status on my cibil . This is about 2 lakhs on 2 credit card. I made last payment in 2019 and was unable to make payments later as I lost my job.Now i have stable job and can pay off 2 lkahs, My worry is will the bank take 2 laksh or add interest on that and ask me to pay 8 or 10 lakhs for this ? can anyone advice if this situation is similar and have you heard about any solutions . I can make payment of 2 lakhs outstandng as reflecting in my cibil report
    Ans: First, appreciate your honesty and responsibility.
    You faced job loss and survived a difficult phase.
    Now you have income and intent to close dues.
    That itself is a strong and positive step.

    There are solutions available.

    What “written off” actually means

    – “Written off” does not mean loan is forgiven.
    – It means bank stopped active recovery temporarily.
    – The amount is still legally payable.
    – Bank or recovery agency can approach you.

    – CIBIL shows this as serious default.
    – But it is not a criminal case.

    Your biggest worry clarified clearly
    Will bank ask Rs. 8–10 lakhs now?

    In most practical cases, NO.

    – Banks rarely recover full inflated amounts.
    – Interest technically keeps accruing.
    – But banks know recovery is difficult.

    – They prefer one-time settlement.
    – They want closure, not long fights.

    What usually happens in real life

    – Outstanding shown may be Rs. 2 lakhs.
    – Bank internal system may show higher amount.

    – They may initially demand more.
    – This is a negotiation starting point.

    – Final settlement usually happens near:
    – Principal amount
    – Or slightly above principal

    – Rs. 8–10 lakhs demand is rarely enforced.

    Why your position is actually strong

    – Default happened due to job loss.
    – Time gap is several years.
    – Account is already written off.

    – You are now willing to pay.
    – You can offer lump sum.

    Banks respect lump sum offers.

    What you should NOT do

    – Do not panic and pay blindly.
    – Do not accept verbal promises.
    – Do not pay without written confirmation.

    – Do not pay partial amounts casually.
    – That weakens your negotiation position.

    Correct step-by-step approach
    Step 1: Contact bank recovery department

    – Call customer care.
    – Ask for recovery or settlement team.
    – Avoid agents initially.

    Step 2: Ask for settlement option

    Use clear language:
    – You lost job earlier.
    – Situation is stable now.
    – You want to close accounts fully.

    Ask specifically for:
    – One Time Settlement option
    – Written settlement letter

    Step 3: Negotiate calmly

    – Start by offering Rs. 2 lakhs.
    – Mention it matches CIBIL outstanding.

    – Bank may counter with higher number.
    – This is normal negotiation.

    – Many cases close between:
    – 100% to 130% of principal

    Rarely more, if negotiated well.

    Important: Written settlement letter

    Before paying anything, ensure letter states:

    – Full and final settlement
    – No further dues will remain
    – Account will be closed
    – CIBIL status will be updated

    Never rely on phone assurance.

    How payment should be made

    – Pay only to bank account.
    – Avoid cash payments.
    – Keep receipts safely.

    – After payment, collect closure letter.

    Impact on your CIBIL score

    Be very clear on this point.

    – “Written off” will not disappear immediately.
    – Settlement changes status to “Settled”.

    – “Settled” is better than “Written off”.
    – But still considered negative initially.

    – Score improves gradually over time.

    What improves CIBIL after settlement

    – No new defaults
    – Timely payments on future credit
    – Low credit utilisation
    – Patience

    Usually improvement seen within 12–24 months.

    Should you wait or settle now?

    Settling now is better because:

    – Old defaults block future loans.
    – Housing loan becomes difficult.
    – Car loan interest becomes high.

    – Emotional stress continues otherwise.

    Closure brings mental relief.

    Common fear: “What if they harass me?”

    – Harassment has reduced significantly.
    – RBI rules are stricter now.
    – Written settlement protects you.

    – If harassment happens, complain formally.

    Have others faced this situation?

    Yes, thousands.

    – Many lost jobs after 2018–2020.
    – Credit card defaults increased widely.

    – Most cases got settled reasonably.
    – You are not alone.

    Things working in your favour

    – Old default
    – Written-off status already marked
    – Willingness to pay lump sum
    – Stable income now

    This gives negotiation power.

    After settlement: what next

    – Avoid credit cards initially.
    – Start with small secured products.

    – Pay everything on time.
    – Keep credit usage low.

    – Score will heal gradually.

    Final reassurance

    You will not be forced to pay Rs. 8–10 lakhs suddenly.
    Banks prefer realistic recovery.
    Your readiness to pay Rs. 2 lakhs is valuable.

    Handle this calmly and formally.
    Take everything in writing.
    You are doing the right thing now.

    ...Read more

    Nayagam P

    Nayagam P P  |10859 Answers  |Ask -

    Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2025Hindi
    Career
    I am 41 year's old bp and sugar patient i completed 3years articleship for the purpose CA cource,now iam looking for paid assistant Job because still iam not clear my ipcc exams salary very low 10k per month,can I quit finance and accounting job because of my health please advise or suggest
    Ans: At 41 years old with hypertension and diabetes, having completed 3 years of CA articleship but unable to clear IPCC exams while earning ?10,000 monthly, continuing in high-stress finance/accounting roles presents genuine health risks. Research confirms that sedentary, high-pressure accounting and finance jobs significantly exacerbate hypertension and Type 2 Diabetes through chronic stress, irregular routines, and poor sleep quality—particularly affecting professionals aged 35-50. Yes, quitting finance is medically justified. Rather than abandoning your accounting foundation, strategically transition to less stressful, specialized accounting/finance roles utilizing your three years of articleship experience while prioritizing health. Pursue three alternative certifications requiring 6-18 months of flexible, online study—compatible with managing your health conditions while maintaining income. These certifications leverage your existing accounting knowledge, command premium salaries (?6-12 LPA+), offer remote/flexible work options reducing stress, and require minimal additional skill upgradation beyond what you've already invested.? Option 1 – Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) / Forensic Accounting Specialist: Complete NISM Forensic Investigation Level 1&2 (100% online, 6-12 months) or Indiaforensic's Certified Forensic Accounting Professional (distance learning, flexible). Your CA articleship background is ideal for fraud detection roles. Salary: ?6-9 LPA; Stress Level: Moderate (deadline-driven analysis, not client management); Work-Life Balance: High (project-based, remote-capable); Skill Upgradation Needed: Fraud investigation techniques, financial forensics software—both taught in certification.? Option 2 – ACCA (Association of Chartered Accountants) or US CPA: More flexible than CA (study at own pace, global recognition, no lengthy articleship repeat). ACCA requires 13-15 months online study with five paper exemptions (since you've completed articleship); US CPA takes 12 months post-articleship. Salary: ?7-12 LPA (India), higher internationally; Stress Level: Lower (flexible study schedule, no rigid mentorship like CA); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (flexible learning, no daily office stress initially); Skill Upgradation: International accounting standards, tax practices, audit frameworks—all covered in coursework. Option 3 – CMA USA (Cost & Management Accounting): Specializes in management accounting and financial planning vs. auditing. Requires two exams, 200 study hours total, completable in 8-12 months. Highly preferred by MNCs, IT companies, startups for finance manager/FP&A roles. Salary: ?8-12 LPA initially, potentially ?20+ LPA as Finance Manager/CFO; Stress Level: Low (CMA roles focus on strategic planning, less client pressure); Work-Life Balance: Excellent (corporate roles often more structured than CA practice); Skill Upgradation: Management accounting principles, data analytics, financial modeling—valuable for modern finance roles.? Final Advice: Quit immediately if current role is deteriorating health. Register for ACCA or US CPA within 30 days—most flexible, globally recognized, requiring minimal additional investment. Simultaneously pursue Forensic Accounting certification (6-month concurrent track) as backup specialization. Target roles as Compliance Analyst, Forensic Accountant, or Corporate Finance Manager—all leverage your articleship, offer 40-45 hour weeks (vs. CA practice's 50-60), enable remote work, and command ?8-12 LPA within 18 months. Your health is irreplaceable; your accounting foundation is valuable enough to transition strategically rather than completely exit.? All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

    Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Money
    I am 62 years of age. i have bought Max life smart wealth long term plan policy and Max life smart life advantage growth per pulse insta income fixed returns policies 2 /3 years ago. Are these policies good as i want to get benefits when i am alive. is there a way i can close " max life smart wealth long term plan policy ", as i am facing difficulty in paying up the premium. The agents don't give clear picture. please suggest.
    Ans: You have shown courage by asking the right question.
    Many seniors suffer silently with unsuitable policies.
    Your concern about living benefits is very valid.
    Your age makes clarity extremely important now.

    » Your current life stage reality
    – You are 62 years old.
    – You are in active retirement planning phase.
    – Capital protection matters more than growth.

    – Cash flow comfort is critical.
    – Stress-free income is more important than returns.
    – Long lock-ins create anxiety now.

    » Understanding the type of policies you bought
    – These are investment-cum-insurance policies.
    – They mix protection and investment together.

    – Such products are complex by design.
    – Benefits are spread over long durations.

    – Charges are high in early years.
    – Liquidity remains very limited initially.

    » Core issue with such policies at your age
    – These policies suit younger earners better.
    – They need long holding periods.

    – At 62, time horizon is shorter.
    – You need access to money now.

    – Premium commitment becomes stressful.
    – Returns remain unclear for many years.

    » Focus on your stated need
    – You want benefits while alive.
    – You want income and flexibility.

    – You do not want confusion.
    – You want transparency.

    – This is absolutely reasonable.

    » Reality check on living benefits
    – Living benefits are slow in such policies.
    – Early years give very little value.

    – Most benefits come much later.
    – This delays usefulness.

    – Income promises are often misunderstood.
    – Actual cash flow is usually low.

    » Why agents fail to give clarity
    – Products are difficult to explain honestly.
    – Commissions are front-loaded.

    – Explanations focus on maturity numbers.
    – Risks and lock-ins get downplayed.

    – This creates disappointment later.

    » Premium stress is a clear warning sign
    – Difficulty paying premium is serious.
    – It should never be ignored.

    – Forced continuation hurts retirement peace.
    – This signals mismatch with your needs.

    » Can such policies be closed
    – Yes, they can be exited.
    – Exit terms depend on policy status.

    – Minimum holding period usually applies.
    – After that, surrender becomes possible.

    – You may receive surrender value.
    – This value is often lower initially.

    » Emotional barrier around surrender
    – Many seniors fear losing money.
    – This fear delays correct decisions.

    – Continuing wrong products increases loss.
    – Early correction reduces damage.

    » Assessment of continuing versus exiting
    – Continuing means more premium burden.
    – Returns remain uncertain.

    – Liquidity stays restricted.
    – Stress continues every year.

    – Exiting stops further premium drain.
    – Money becomes usable elsewhere.

    » Income needs in retirement
    – Retirement needs predictable cash flow.
    – Expenses do not wait for maturity.

    – Medical costs rise unexpectedly.
    – Family support needs flexibility.

    – Locked products reduce confidence.

    » Insurance versus investment separation
    – Insurance should protect, not invest.
    – Investment should grow or give income.

    – Mixing both causes confusion.
    – Separation improves clarity.

    » What a Certified Financial Planner would assess
    – Your regular expenses.
    – Your emergency fund adequacy.

    – Your health cover sufficiency.
    – Your existing liquid assets.

    – Your comfort with volatility.

    » Action regarding investment-cum-insurance policies
    – These policies are not ideal now.
    – They strain cash flow.

    – They do not give immediate income.
    – They reduce flexibility.

    – Surrender should be seriously considered.

    » How to approach surrender decision calmly
    – First, ask for surrender value statement.
    – Ask insurer directly, not agents.

    – Request written breakup.
    – Include all charges.

    – Compare future premiums versus surrender value.

    » Important surrender-related points
    – Surrender value may seem low.
    – This is common in early years.

    – Focus on future peace, not past loss.
    – Stop throwing good money after bad.

    » Tax aspect awareness
    – Surrender proceeds may have tax impact.
    – This depends on policy structure.

    – Get clarity before final action.
    – Plan withdrawal carefully.

    » What to do after surrender
    – Do not keep money idle.
    – Reinvest based on retirement needs.

    – Focus on income generation.
    – Focus on capital safety.

    » Suitable investment approach after exit
    – Use diversified mutual fund solutions.
    – Choose conservative to balanced options.

    – Prefer actively managed funds.
    – They adjust during market changes.

    » Why index funds are unsuitable here
    – Index funds mirror full market falls.
    – No downside protection exists.

    – Volatility can disturb sleep.
    – Recovery may take time.

    – Active funds aim to reduce damage.
    – This suits senior investors better.

    » Why regular mutual fund route helps
    – Guidance is crucial at this age.
    – Behaviour control matters.

    – Regular reviews prevent mistakes.
    – Certified Financial Planner support adds confidence.

    – Cost difference is worth guidance.

    » Income planning without annuities
    – Avoid irreversible income products.
    – Keep flexibility alive.

    – Use systematic withdrawal approaches.
    – Control amount and timing.

    » Liquidity planning importance
    – Keep enough money accessible.
    – Emergencies do not announce arrival.

    – Liquidity gives mental comfort.
    – Avoid forced asset sales.

    » Health expense preparedness
    – Health costs rise sharply after sixty.
    – Inflation is brutal here.

    – Keep separate health contingency fund.
    – Do not depend on policy maturity.

    » Estate and family clarity
    – Ensure nominees are updated.
    – Write a clear Will.

    – Avoid confusion for family.
    – Simplicity matters now.

    » Psychological peace as a goal
    – Retirement planning is emotional.
    – Stress harms health.

    – Financial clarity improves wellbeing.
    – Confidence comes from control.

    » Red flags you should never ignore
    – Premium pressure.
    – Unclear benefits.

    – Long lock-in periods.
    – Agent-driven explanations only.

    » What you should do immediately
    – Ask insurer for surrender details.
    – Evaluate calmly with numbers.

    – Stop listening only to agents.
    – Seek unbiased planning view.

    » What not to do
    – Do not continue blindly.
    – Do not stop premiums without clarity.

    – Do not delay decision endlessly.
    – Delay increases loss.

    » Your age-specific investment mindset
    – Growth is secondary now.
    – Stability is primary.

    – Income visibility is essential.
    – Liquidity is non-negotiable.

    » Emotional reassurance
    – You are not alone.
    – Many seniors face similar issues.

    – Correcting course is strength.
    – It is never too late.

    » Final Insights
    – These policies are not aligned now.
    – Premium stress confirms mismatch.

    – Surrender option should be explored seriously.
    – Protect peace over promises.

    – Shift towards flexible, transparent investments.
    – Focus on living benefits and comfort.

    – Simplicity will serve you best now.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Money
    Hi Reetika, I am 43 year old. I am currently working in private organization. Having an Investment of 8.0 Lac in NPS, 27 Lac in PF, 4 Lac in PPF and 2.5 Lac in FD. My child is in 11th Science. I have my own house and no any loan. I need to Invest around 80.0 Lac for Child Education, Marriage and Retirement.
    Ans: You have taken a sensible start with disciplined savings.
    Owning a house without loans is a strong advantage.
    Starting early retirement assets shows responsibility.
    Your goals are clear and time is still supportive.

    » Life stage and responsibility review
    – You are 43 years old and employed.
    – Your income phase is still growing.
    – Your child is in 11th Science.

    – Education expenses will start very soon.
    – Marriage goals are medium-term.
    – Retirement is long-term but critical.

    – This stage needs balance, not extremes.
    – Growth and safety both are required.

    » Current asset structure understanding
    – Retirement-linked savings already exist.
    – These assets give long-term discipline.

    – Provident savings form a stable base.
    – Pension-oriented savings add future comfort.

    – Public savings give safety and tax efficiency.
    – Fixed deposits give short-term liquidity.

    – Overall structure is conservative currently.
    – Growth assets need gradual strengthening.

    » Liquidity and emergency readiness
    – Fixed deposits cover immediate needs.
    – Emergency risk appears controlled.

    – Maintain at least six months expenses.
    – This avoids forced investment exits.

    – Do not reduce liquidity for long-term goals.

    » Education goal time horizon assessment
    – Child education starts within few years.
    – Expenses will rise sharply during graduation.

    – Foreign education may increase cost further.
    – This goal needs partial safety focus.

    – Avoid market-linked volatility for near-term needs.

    » Marriage goal perspective
    – Marriage goal is emotional and financial.
    – Expenses usually occur after education.

    – This allows moderate growth approach.
    – Capital protection remains important.

    » Retirement goal clarity
    – Retirement is still twenty years away.
    – Time is your biggest strength.

    – Small discipline now creates big comfort later.
    – Growth assets must play a key role.

    » Gap understanding for Rs. 80 lacs goal
    – Your current assets are lower than required.
    – This gap is normal at this age.

    – Regular investing will bridge the gap.
    – Lump sum expectations should be realistic.

    – Salary growth will support higher investments later.

    » Income utilisation approach
    – Salary should fund regular investments.
    – Annual increments should raise contributions.

    – Bonuses should be goal-based.
    – Avoid lifestyle inflation.

    » Asset allocation strategy direction
    – Future investments must be diversified.
    – Do not depend on one asset type.

    – Growth-oriented funds suit long-term goals.
    – Stable funds suit near-term needs.

    – Balance reduces stress during volatility.

    » Mutual fund role in your plan
    – Mutual funds allow disciplined participation.
    – They reduce direct market timing risk.

    – Professional management adds value.
    – Diversification improves consistency.

    – They suit education and retirement goals.

    » Why actively managed funds matter
    – Markets are volatile and emotional.
    – Index funds follow markets blindly.

    – Index funds fall fully during downturns.
    – There is no downside protection.

    – Actively managed funds adjust exposure.
    – Fund managers reduce risk during stress.

    – They aim to protect capital better.
    – This suits family goals.

    » Regular investing discipline
    – Monthly investing builds habit.
    – Market ups and downs get averaged.

    – This reduces regret and fear.
    – Discipline matters more than timing.

    » Direct versus regular fund clarity
    – Direct funds need strong self-discipline.
    – Monitoring becomes your responsibility.

    – Wrong decisions hurt long-term goals.
    – Emotional exits are common.

    – Regular funds provide guidance.
    – Certified Financial Planner support adds value.

    – Behaviour control protects returns.

    » Tax awareness for mutual funds
    – Equity mutual fund long-term gains face tax.
    – Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed.

    – Tax rate is 12.5 percent.
    – Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.

    – Debt fund gains follow slab rates.

    – Tax planning must align with withdrawals.

    » Education funding investment approach
    – Use stable and balanced funds.
    – Avoid aggressive exposure close to need.

    – Gradually reduce risk as goal nears.
    – Protect capital before usage.

    » Marriage funding approach
    – Balanced growth approach is suitable.
    – Do not chase high returns.

    – Ensure funds are available on time.

    » Retirement funding approach
    – Long-term horizon allows growth focus.
    – Equity-oriented funds are essential.

    – Volatility is acceptable now.
    – Time smoothens risk.

    » Review of existing retirement assets
    – Provident savings ensure base security.
    – Pension savings add longevity support.

    – These assets should remain untouched.
    – They form your safety net.

    » Inflation impact awareness
    – Education inflation is very high.
    – Medical inflation rises faster.

    – Retirement expenses increase steadily.
    – Growth assets fight inflation.

    » Insurance protection check
    – Ensure adequate life cover.
    – Family must remain protected.

    – Health cover must be sufficient.
    – Medical costs can derail plans.

    » Estate and nomination hygiene
    – Ensure nominations are updated.
    – Family clarity avoids future stress.

    – Consider writing a Will.
    – This ensures smooth asset transfer.

    » Behavioural discipline importance
    – Market noise creates confusion.
    – Stick to your plan.

    – Avoid frequent changes.
    – Consistency brings results.

    » Review and tracking rhythm
    – Review investments once a year.
    – Avoid daily monitoring.

    – Adjust based on life changes.
    – Keep goals priority-based.

    » Risk capacity versus risk tolerance
    – Your risk capacity is moderate.
    – Your responsibilities are high.

    – Avoid extreme strategies.
    – Balance comfort and growth.

    » Psychological comfort in planning
    – Your base is already strong.
    – Time supports your goals.

    – Discipline will do the heavy work.
    – Panic is your biggest enemy.

    » Finally
    – Yes, achieving Rs. 80 lacs is possible.
    – Time and discipline are in your favour.

    – Start structured investing immediately.
    – Increase contributions with income growth.

    – Keep goals separated mentally.
    – Stay invested during volatility.

    – Your journey looks stable and hopeful.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Ramalingam

    Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10908 Answers  |Ask -

    Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2025Hindi
    Money
    Hi , I am 50 years old having wife and 1 kid. I got laid off in March 2025 and currently running my own company since July 2025 where in I had invested Rs. 2.50 lacs. At present I am not taking any money from the company but we are not making any losses either. I am having an Investment of 1) 30 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 2) 20 lacs in NSC maturing in year 2030. 3) 9 lacs in Mutual Funds. 4) 45 lacs in Equity which i intend to liquidate and put in Mutual Funds. 5) 75 lacs in PPF, PF & NPS. 6) Wife earning 50 lacs annually. 7) She has 40 lacs in Saving A/c and FDs. 8) 1.20 Cr. in PPF, PF & NPS. 9) We also own 2 properties with current fair market value of Rs. 5 Cr. 10) One property is giving us rent of Rs. 66K per month. 11) Apart from this we are also expecting to get ~ Rs. 2.50 Cr. over next 15 years for the insurance policies getting matured. Expenses & Liabilities: 1) Monthly expenses of Rs. 4.50 lacs which includes Rent, Insurance premium, EMI against Education loan for my kid's, Medical premium, Travel, Grocery and other miscl. expenses. 2) Car loan EMI of 40,000 per month which is included in the Rs. 4.50 lacs monthly expenses. This loan is till March 2027. 3) Education loan of Rs. 1.05 Cr. with current liability of Rs. 80 lacs as we paid Rs. 25 lacs to the Bank as prepayment. We need to spend ~ Rs. 40 lacs more to support for the kid education in USA till year 2027. 4) We intend to pay the entire Education loan by max. 2030. My question is, will this be enough for me and my wife for the retirement as my wife intends to work till 2037 if everything goes fine (when she turns 60) and I will continue running my company looking at taking Rs. 1 lacs per month from it from next FY.
    Ans: You have built strong assets with discipline and patience.
    Your financial journey shows clarity, courage, and long-term thinking.
    Despite job loss, stability is well protected.
    Your family position is better than most Indian households.

    » Current life stage understanding
    – You are 50 years old with working spouse.
    – One child pursuing overseas education.
    – You are semi-employed through your own business.
    – Your wife has strong income visibility.
    – This phase needs protection, not aggressive risk.

    – Cash flow control matters more than returns now.
    – Liquidity planning is extremely important.
    – Emotional decisions must be avoided.

    » Employment transition and business assessment
    – Job loss was sudden but handled calmly.
    – Starting your company shows confidence and skill.
    – Initial investment of Rs. 2.50 lacs is reasonable.
    – Zero loss position is a good sign.

    – No salary draw reduces pressure on business.
    – Planned Rs. 1 lac monthly draw is sensible.
    – This keeps household stability intact.
    – Business income should be treated as variable.

    – Do not overestimate future business income.
    – Use it only as a support pillar.

    » Family income stability review
    – Wife earning Rs. 50 lacs annually is a major strength.
    – Her income anchors your retirement plan.
    – Employment till 2037 gives long runway.

    – Her savings discipline looks excellent.
    – Large retirement corpus already exists.
    – This reduces pressure on your assets.

    – You should align plans jointly.
    – Retirement must be treated as family goal.

    » Asset allocation snapshot assessment
    – You hold assets across cash, debt, equity, and retirement buckets.
    – Diversification already exists.
    – That shows mature planning habits.

    – Savings and FDs give immediate liquidity.
    – NSC gives defined maturity comfort.
    – Equity exposure is meaningful.
    – Retirement accounts are strong.

    – Real estate is end-use, not investment.
    – Rental income adds safety.

    » Savings accounts and FDs analysis
    – Rs. 30 lacs in savings and FDs offer flexibility.
    – Wife holding Rs. 40 lacs adds cushion.

    – This covers emergencies and education gaps.
    – Liquidity is sufficient for next three years.

    – Avoid keeping excess idle cash long-term.
    – Inflation quietly erodes value.

    – Use this bucket for planned withdrawals.

    » NSC maturity planning
    – Rs. 20 lacs maturing in 2030 is well timed.
    – This aligns with education loan closure.

    – This can be earmarked for debt repayment.
    – Do not link this to retirement spending.

    – It gives psychological comfort.

    » Mutual fund exposure review
    – Existing mutual fund holding is small.
    – Rs. 9 lacs needs scaling gradually.

    – Your plan to shift equity into funds is wise.
    – This improves risk management.

    – Mutual funds suit retirement phase better.
    – They provide professional management.

    – Avoid sudden large transfers.
    – Phased movement reduces timing risk.

    » Direct equity exposure evaluation
    – Rs. 45 lacs in equity needs careful handling.
    – Market volatility can hurt emotions.

    – Concentration risk exists in direct equity.
    – Monitoring requires time and skill.

    – Gradual exit is sensible.
    – Move funds into diversified mutual funds.

    – Avoid panic selling.
    – Use market strength periods for exits.

    » Retirement accounts strength review
    – Combined PF, PPF, and NPS is very strong.
    – Your Rs. 75 lacs is meaningful.
    – Wife’s Rs. 1.20 Cr is excellent.

    – These assets ensure base retirement security.
    – They protect longevity risk.

    – Do not disturb these accounts prematurely.
    – Let compounding continue.

    » Real estate role clarity
    – Two properties worth Rs. 5 Cr add net worth comfort.
    – One property gives Rs. 66k monthly rent.

    – Rental income supports expenses partially.
    – This reduces portfolio withdrawal stress.

    – Do not consider new property investments.
    – Focus on financial assets.

    » Insurance maturity inflows assessment
    – Expected Rs. 2.50 Cr over 15 years is valuable.
    – This gives future liquidity.

    – These inflows should not be spent casually.
    – They must be reinvested wisely.

    – Align maturity money with retirement phase.

    » Expense structure evaluation
    – Monthly expense of Rs. 4.50 lacs is high.
    – This includes many essential heads.

    – Education, rent, insurance, travel are significant.
    – EMI burden is temporary.

    – Expenses will reduce after 2027.
    – That improves retirement readiness.

    » Car loan review
    – EMI of Rs. 40,000 till March 2027 is manageable.
    – This is already included in expenses.

    – No action required here.
    – Avoid new vehicle loans.

    » Education loan strategy
    – Education loan balance of Rs. 80 lacs is large.
    – Overseas education requires careful funding.

    – Planned additional Rs. 40 lacs till 2027 is realistic.
    – Do not compromise retirement assets for education.

    – Target full closure by 2030 is practical.
    – Use NSC maturity and surplus income.

    – Avoid using retirement accounts for repayment.

    » Cash flow alignment till 2027
    – Wife’s income covers majority expenses.
    – Rental income adds support.

    – Business draw of Rs. 1 lac helps.
    – Savings bridge shortfalls.

    – Cash flow mismatch risk is low.

    » Retirement readiness assessment
    – Combined family net worth is strong.
    – Retirement corpus foundation is already built.

    – Major expenses peak before 2027.
    – After that, burden reduces.

    – Wife working till 2037 adds security.
    – This delays retirement withdrawals.

    » Post-2037 retirement picture
    – After wife retires, expenses will drop.
    – No education costs.
    – No major EMIs.

    – Medical costs will rise gradually.
    – Planning buffers already exist.

    – Rental income continues.

    » Mutual fund strategy for future
    – Shift equity proceeds into diversified mutual funds.
    – Use a mix of growth-oriented and balanced approaches.

    – Avoid index-based investing.
    – Index funds lack downside protection.

    – They move fully with markets.
    – No human judgement is applied.

    – Actively managed funds adjust allocations.
    – They protect better during volatility.

    – Skilled managers add value over cycles.

    » Direct funds versus regular funds clarity
    – Regular funds offer guidance and discipline.
    – Ongoing review is critical at this stage.

    – Direct funds require self-monitoring.
    – Errors can be costly near retirement.

    – Behaviour management matters more than cost.
    – Professional handholding reduces mistakes.

    – Use mutual fund distributors with CFP credentials.

    » Tax awareness on mutual funds
    – Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed.
    – Tax rate is 12.5 percent.

    – Short-term equity gains face 20 percent tax.
    – Debt mutual fund gains follow slab rates.

    – Plan withdrawals tax efficiently.
    – Do not churn unnecessarily.

    » Withdrawal sequencing in retirement
    – Start withdrawals from surplus funds first.
    – Use rental income for regular expenses.

    – Keep retirement accounts untouched initially.
    – Delay withdrawals improves longevity.

    – Insurance maturity inflows can fund later years.

    » Medical and health planning
    – Medical inflation is a major risk.
    – Ensure adequate health cover.

    – Review coverage every three years.
    – Build separate medical contingency fund.

    – Avoid dipping into equity during emergencies.

    » Estate and succession clarity
    – Assets are large and diverse.
    – Proper nominations are critical.

    – Draft a clear Will.
    – Review beneficiaries periodically.

    – Avoid family disputes later.

    » Psychological comfort and risk control
    – You are financially strong.
    – Avoid fear-driven decisions.

    – Avoid chasing returns.
    – Stability matters more now.

    – Keep plans simple and review yearly.

    » Finally
    – Yes, your assets are sufficient for retirement.
    – Discipline must continue.

    – Control expenses during transition years.
    – Avoid large lifestyle upgrades.

    – Focus on asset allocation, not market timing.
    – Your retirement future looks secure.

    Best Regards,

    K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

    Chief Financial Planner,

    www.holisticinvestment.in

    https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

    ...Read more

    Radheshyam

    Radheshyam Zanwar  |6751 Answers  |Ask -

    MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 19, 2025

    Career
    Sir i have given 12th in 2025 and passed with 69% but not given jee exam in 2025 and not in 2026 also But i want iit anyhow sir is this possible that i give 12th in 2027 and cleared 75 criteria then give jee mains and also i am eligible for jee advanced
    Ans: You have already appeared for and passed the Class 12 examination in 2025. As per the eligibility criteria, only two consecutive attempts for JEE (Advanced) are permitted—the first in 2025 and the second in 2026. Therefore, you will not be eligible to appear for JEE (Advanced) in 2027. Reappearing for Class 12 does not reset or extend JEE (Advanced) eligibility.

    However, you can still achieve your goal of studying at an IIT through an alternative and well-established pathway. You may take admission to an undergraduate engineering program of your choice, appear for the GATE examination in your final year, and secure a qualifying score to gain admission to a postgraduate program at a top IIT.

    This is a strong and viable route to IIT. At this stage, it would be advisable to move forward by enrolling in an engineering program rather than focusing again on Class 12, JEE Main, or JEE Advanced.

    Good luck.
    Follow me if you receive this reply.
    Radheshyam

    ...Read more

    DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

    Close  

    You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
    Login

    A verification OTP will be sent to this
    Mobile Number / Email

    Enter OTP
    A 6 digit code has been sent to

    Resend OTP in120seconds

    Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
    Sign up

    By signing up, you agree to our
    Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

    Already have an account?

    Enter OTP
    A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

    Resend OTP in120seconds

    x