Dear Love Guru,
My wife and I are in an arranged marriage since around 15 years and there is nothing that we celebrate about our relationship, except kids which are the only reason for our existing relations.
I am working abroad and have visits for a month on vacation after every couple of months.
After marriage, I noticed my wife’s flirting behaviour with strange men (to seduce) during many occasions but initially ignored it.
However, I found it frustrating when I felt her to be habitual flirter. I then spoke to her, which was after around 2.5 years of our marriage, and she denied the matter.
Soon noticing such perpetual habits about her, we went on for non-talking terms some time and then a storm broke out in our house. My parents and her parents supported her, since I couldn’t prove any of her behaviour.
She has been lying since her behaviour was noticed and even after that, but my love for her and my child (at that time) made me feel that probably that I need to avoid any suspicious behaviour.
Such storm was repeated even recently few years earlier.
I had thought my idea of a second child would improve our relations, but it hasn’t helped.
I could still notice her flirting behaviour with strangers and even with known personnel including my relatives.
I even believe her to be in relationship with one of my cousins, based on my observations of their behaviour during our every meet, which I cannot speak of due to my previous experience and which will otherwise definitely terminate our relations.
Actually, we are never on good terms these days whenever I visit home and mostly converse only if required.
We are also not good in bed and I have also been feeling a low erectile in bed these days.
These moments have affected me psychologically and I feel very negative about our relationship.
My family remains my priority and I have been trying to see that we all are all happy as a family.
I have even sacrificed my own family time for better earnings so that my family can get all the best in life.
She takes good care of the children and manages the house nicely.
I also ensure that we, as a family, go out on long journeys for travel and my children are everything for me.
I have trying to cope up with all this by focusing on work and socialising with friends to the best extent possible.
However, her behaviour (in spite of my presence) makes me feel negative.
How can I deal with the matter since any re-attempt on my part to speak on the same matter, even if cordially, with my wife will create another storm like earlier?
I wish to sort out the differences and need your advice. Should we meet a counsellor separately on this to sort out the matter?
Keep me anonymous and respect my privacy.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Each hotel use discretion to allow or disallow an unmarried couple from staying in their premises. There could be various reasons which may include activities which are outside of the law. Now, to what has happened to you is very inconsiderate. My question to you is: while booking, did you look at the hotel policies? If it says: unmarried couples allowed, then whatever has happened can be challenged and you can possibly demand a refund for unfair treatment. If it disallows unmarried couples and they have accommodated you, even then they are in the wrong for going against their own policies and then inconveniencing you.
So, clarity on this will give you an idea as to what exactly happened.
I don't know if India is being rude to unmarried couples as each person will view it through their lens and come to a conclusion as to whether it's right or wrong. Always check the hotel policies before booking.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Sandhya,
This is shocking for you, I am sure...well to live under the same roof with someone who has broken your trust is not going to be easy.
I guess this matter will need a lot of talk, debates to reach some sort of conclusion...what you want from this marriage, where is his mind regarding your marriage...all these questions need answers...the only question that he will be unable to answer is: why did you do this? why did you cheat? He's kept this away for 25 years...there clearly has been an intention to cheat and be unapologetic about it, isn't it? Still, it's about time that you actually not think of confronting him as it will lead nowhere but to clarify what is this marriage is all about. It will help you take decisions...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Please go to the site of the IIT who is conducting GATE-2025. Please go through the instructions and download it. No panic. Just follow me. Just follow the steps given below.
Steps to download GATE 2025 admit card when released
Go to the official website of IIT GATE at gate2025.iitr.ac.in.
Click on the GATE admit card 2025 link displayed on the home page.
Enter the requested login details.
Click on submit.
Check and download the admit card.
This GATE 2025 is being conducted by IIT-Roorkee.
Best of luck. Professor........................:)

Ans: Hello dear.
What is a surprise that you are appearing in the GATE examination 1st time? Everybody goes through this situation. You are on the turn of completing your B.E./B.Tech. and at this point, the anxiety developed not showing good symptoms. Be cool and relax. Since 3-4 years you are well acquainted with the engineering examination pattern. The difference between regular and GATE is that, for GATE, you have to prepare F.E. to B.E. syllabus and that is the only issue. A candidate who remained sincere from 1st year will not have any type of anxiety with GATE. Try to cover the syllabus in depth as early as possible. Now, related to your admit card, visit the GATE website where you will receive an announcement via SMS/email to download the admit card. Follow the steps mentioned in the email and download it. On the respective website, everything is mentioned clearly about the documents to be carried on the examination day. Keep a close eye on the GATE examination. Best of luck for your upcoming examinations in the future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

Ans: Investing Rs. 12,00,000 annually for yourself and Rs. 6,00,000 for your wife in SBI Life Smart Privilege plans requires a thorough evaluation. Your queries about premium payment frequency and policy continuation beyond five years are critical for maximising returns and aligning with your financial goals.

Let’s analyse these aspects comprehensively.

1. Premium Payment Frequency: Annual vs Half-Yearly or Quarterly
Cost Efficiency of Annual Premiums

Annual premiums often cost less than half-yearly or quarterly options. Insurers offer discounts for lump-sum annual payments.

Paying in smaller instalments results in additional administrative charges. This increases the total cost of the policy.

Annual payments ensure immediate allocation of your funds. Half-yearly or quarterly payments delay this allocation, reducing the compounding benefit.

Opting for annual payments is financially efficient, provided cash flow permits it.

Impact on Cash Flow

Annual payments require larger cash reserves. Evaluate whether this impacts your liquidity needs.

If cash flow is constrained, half-yearly or quarterly options provide flexibility. However, they incur higher costs.

2. Continuation After 5 Years vs Investing in Equity Mutual Funds
Performance of ULIPs vs Equity Mutual Funds

SBI Life Smart Privilege is a ULIP (Unit-Linked Insurance Plan). ULIPs combine insurance with investments.

ULIPs have higher charges such as policy administration, premium allocation, and fund management fees. These charges reduce net returns.

Equity Mutual Funds often outperform ULIPs due to lower expense ratios. They focus solely on wealth creation, unlike ULIPs.

Lock-In Period Considerations

ULIPs have a mandatory 5-year lock-in. Beyond this period, the decision to continue depends on fund performance and your financial goals.

Evaluate your ULIP’s fund performance against comparable equity mutual funds. If it underperforms, consider discontinuing premium payments.

Flexibility and Liquidity

Mutual funds offer better liquidity and flexibility. You can withdraw or switch funds based on market conditions.

ULIPs restrict fund switches to options within the policy. Mutual funds provide a wider range of choices.

Advantages of Shifting to Equity Mutual Funds
Higher Returns: Actively managed equity funds generally deliver higher long-term returns than ULIPs.

Lower Charges: Mutual funds have lower expense ratios, maximising your investment growth.

Tax Efficiency: Equity mutual funds have tax benefits, but gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. ULIPs have tax-free withdrawals under certain conditions, but the overall returns may still lag.

Goal Alignment: Mutual funds are better suited for long-term wealth creation and goal-specific planning.

Why Not Index Funds?

Index funds lack active management. They simply replicate market indices without adapting to market conditions.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, strive to outperform the market. They offer better returns when managed by experienced professionals.

Index funds cannot shield against downside risks during market corrections. Actively managed funds provide better resilience in volatile markets.

Evaluating Policy Continuation After 5 Years
Key Questions to Assess

Is the ULIP’s fund performance aligned with your expectations?

Are the charges within the ULIP justified by the returns it offers?

Would reallocating the premium to mutual funds provide better results for your goals?

Strategic Approach

If ULIP performance is consistently below par, you can stop further premiums after five years.

Shift future premiums to mutual funds. Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Retain the accumulated corpus in the ULIP until maturity to avoid surrender penalties.

Steps to Optimise Your Investments
Review Fund Performance: Regularly assess the returns generated by your ULIP. Compare them with benchmark indices and mutual funds.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: A CFP can guide you in selecting suitable mutual funds for reallocation.

Diversify Investments: Spread your investments across equity, balanced, and debt funds for optimal risk management.

Leverage Tax Benefits: Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise tax liabilities under the new mutual fund taxation rules.

Taxation Insights
ULIPs offer tax-free maturity proceeds under Section 10(10D) if annual premiums do not exceed Rs. 2,50,000.

Mutual funds are subject to the following tax rules:

Equity mutual funds: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Short-term gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Consider these rules when deciding between ULIPs and mutual funds.

Key Takeaways
Annual premium payments are cost-effective if cash flow permits.

Continuing ULIPs beyond five years depends on their performance and alignment with your goals.

Equity mutual funds are a better option for wealth creation due to higher returns and lower charges.

Diversify investments and consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised advice.

Final Insights
Your decision to invest in ULIPs was a thoughtful one, considering their insurance benefits. However, for long-term wealth creation, mutual funds could offer better appreciation. Evaluating the performance of your ULIPs after five years is crucial. If they underperform, consider reallocating your premiums to equity mutual funds for enhanced returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Investing Rs. 2000 per month in a SIP for 10 years is a wise decision. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) provide disciplined and goal-oriented investing. Let’s assess your plan, its potential returns, and the key aspects of such investments.

Benefits of a 10-Year SIP
Power of Compounding
SIPs leverage compounding, helping your money grow faster over time. Starting early allows compounding to work better for you.

Market Volatility Management
SIPs mitigate risks of market volatility. They encourage purchasing more units when prices are low.

Affordable and Flexible
Starting with Rs. 2000 ensures affordability and consistency. Flexibility to increase contributions is an added benefit.

Wealth Accumulation Potential
A 10-year SIP can generate substantial wealth. Equity-based funds generally outperform other investments over the long term.

Expected Returns from Your SIP
Equity mutual funds typically yield 10-12% annual returns over the long term. With Rs. 2000 monthly, you could accumulate Rs. 4-5 lakh in 10 years.

Debt funds yield lower returns, around 6-8%. These funds are safer but less suitable for long-term goals.

Balanced funds blend equity and debt. They balance risk and return, yielding 8-10% annually.

Your choice of fund type affects your returns. Selecting the right fund category is crucial.

Factors Influencing Returns
Fund Selection
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds. Professional fund managers optimise portfolios for better performance.

Market Conditions
Equity market performance directly impacts returns. Long-term investments reduce the risk of short-term volatility.

Tax Implications
Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh attract 12.5% tax. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Understanding taxation helps in planning redemptions.

Expense Ratios
Funds charge fees for managing investments. Actively managed funds have slightly higher costs than index funds. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure professional advice for these costs.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds lack flexibility. They mimic indices and cannot capitalise on market opportunities.

They do not protect against downside risk during market crashes. Actively managed funds can adjust to such scenarios.

Active funds offer higher returns when managed well. Professional management adds value to your investment.

Why Regular Funds with CFP Guidance?
Direct funds save costs but lack personalised advice. A Certified Financial Planner offers tailored strategies for your goals.

Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials ensure professional monitoring. They also simplify documentation and compliance.

How to Proceed
Set Clear Goals
Define your financial goal for this SIP. Is it for wealth creation, education, or retirement?

Assess Risk Appetite
Choose funds aligning with your comfort level. Equity funds are ideal for higher returns but come with risks.

Review Performance
Select funds with consistent track records over five to ten years.

Diversify Investments
Consider investing in different categories for balanced risk and returns.

Review Periodically
Assess performance annually. Switch funds if they consistently underperform.

Insights on SIP Taxation
Gains on equity mutual funds held for over a year qualify as LTCG. Only gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab rate.

Consider these rules while planning withdrawals. Tax-efficient withdrawals maximise returns.

SIP Advantages Over Other Investments
SIPs outperform fixed deposits and traditional insurance plans. They offer better liquidity and inflation-beating returns.

Real estate requires significant upfront capital and involves illiquidity. SIPs are more flexible and accessible.

Gold investments lack the potential for high returns compared to equity funds.

Common Mistakes to Avoid
Delaying Investments
Starting early maximises compounding benefits.

Stopping SIPs During Market Lows
Continue investments even during market downturns. They offer opportunities to buy units at lower prices.

Ignoring Goal Alignment
Match your SIPs with specific financial goals.

Final Insights
Investing Rs. 2000 per month for 10 years through SIPs is a smart choice. It can help you achieve long-term goals and build wealth steadily.

Focus on selecting funds aligned with your objectives. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio for optimal performance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you still have feelings for your ex, but what about your present partner? What about your kids? Do you not love them? You made a choice and I know it might have been under pressure, but your choice should not hurt so many other innocent people.
If you wish to continue your relationship with your ex, I suggest you have an open conversation about the same with your wife. She does not deserve to be kept in the dark. Being the mother of your 2 children, she deserves at least this much truth and respect. You can see where it goes from there. But I do not think that you can go on much longer with your feet in two boats.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I need some more context to help you better in this situation. But generally, I understand your emotions; it truly can be difficult to get over someone you love. I would suggest spending as much time with your friends and family as possible; basically, surround yourself with people who love you and make you happy to avoid feeling sad. Focus on things that make you content- take up a new hobby, find your passion, and maybe join a running or cycling club to socialize with more people besides getting the dopamine hit from exercising.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A proposal is such a personal thing. I don't think I can help you with any plans but I can suggest finding out things she loves and something that matters a lot to her and incorporate that in your proposal. Moreover, you can find out if she already has some dream proposal scenario, maybe from a movie or series, and recreate that- you would be making her dream come true.

Hope these will help you.