Dear Love Guru,
I’m 74. I loved a girl 50 years back, two years younger to me. She doesn’t know about my love.
We married different persons in our 20s. Both are now well settled.
Her only daughter in US. She is at Chennai, no financial problems and myself at Mumbai.
She is widow for the past 13 years.
My 46 years marital relationship with my wife is not that good. We always quarrel. We have two highly educated children, a daughter and a son, well settled.
I was chasing my GF’s whereabouts and finally I got her two years back.
I visit her Chennai home every month for a week and I secretly married her also in her house, on day one of our meeting.
I have told about this to my wife also. Since then I’m in hell.
My friend wants me to keep our relationship always in secret, which I don’t want. An open person like me, who rarely speaks lies, doesn’t like this. She’s very particular about the secrecy of our relationship.
What shall I do?

Dear Ms. Anu Krishna, I came across a couple of your Columns Ask Anu this morning and instantly thought of taking your advice/opinion for the problems I am facing in my marriage.And I would like to go anonymous for obvious reasons. Pls spare 5-6 mins to read below.I am a 30 year old guy. I will try to keep it very short. I have been married for the last 6 years and we have a 4 year old child. It was a love and arranged marriage. Going to the past quickly, my wife and I got into a relationship about 2 years before marriage. My wife is also the same age as mine, just 30 now. Though my wife never voluntarily revealed it earlier, later I got to realize that she was almost in an 8-9 years relationship with her school mate which started as early as from their high school. Since the boy was from a different religion, the boy's family did not accept their relationship and said no when the girl's parents approached with a marriage proposal after she spoke to her home. Since the boy did not have the courage to argue with his parents, they broke up their relationship with mutual consent however remained as friends. During this time only we got to know each other and she instantly liked me and we got into a relationship. Several times I was suspicious about her so-called friend's (ex- bf) behaviour. But my gf never revealed it to me. At one point of time I bumped into her red handed as she lied to me and went on a dinner date with him and after she saw me face to face she revealed he was her ex bf and he now says he want to marry her and doesn't care about his father's approval. I was shocked to hear this, as my gf was asking me what she should do. Her ex-bf talked to me saying to let her go as I was just a rebound relationship in her life and she loves him and their relationship is stronger for over 8 years as mine was just less than 2 years. Though my mind could understand it, my heart did not. When I asked my gf about this she said she loves me only and not to trust him however I could see she was not confident. Then she said we should get married soon to avoid such problems coming up. She spoke to her parents, they agreed, they liked me instantly. My parents were slightly worried as I was in my early 25 year and so was she. However since I was in a very good job and well paid, so was my gf, I pushed my parents into accepting the marriage proposal promising we would be happy. We got married. After which problems started.She was always very sad and down. She never showed that happiness how she used to be in our two years of relationship. She did not mingle with my family and friends. She always kept it to herself. She never wanted to be physical with me. She either said some random reasons or somehow avoided it. She used to go to her parents house very often and I noticed she was very happy there but not when she came back here. Meanwhile she got pregnant with my child on one occasion where we got intimate and though she could not control that incident in advance, she kept saying let's stop this. But it happened. She got conceived and our son was born. Since she got conceived till date (5 years now) we hardly have been physically intimate less than 10 times only, out of my compulsion that too. The last time about a year ago she went to her parent's home and she did not return at all. Now she says she doesn't want to live with me and says there is no love and care in this marriage life. Now I tried several attempts to talk to her about what the issue was, she was never ready to discuss and it became bigger fights and bigger gaps between us. Her parents took her side and my parents are hopeless as they feel I have been hasty to enter married life in my very young age.Now my wife stopped showing my son to me completely, in spite of my literally begging at least to let him be in touch with me., she denied and deprived me. Now she is asking for divorce. She left her job after marriage and now lives on her parents' support only. She vacated her house and lives in some apartment with her parents I guess, for which I don't know the address.I feel she is in touch with her ex-bf which might be the problem for all this chaos, however I am unsure of it. I want to save this marriage. I really don't know what to do. I offered her many solutions like she can do higher studies or start some business if she likes or can go to work, and I am ready to support her wholeheartedly. I have told this several times since she quit her job voluntarily after marriage. She isn't ready for any and all she wants now is divorce. I approached the senior members of her relatives where everyone says they are unaware about her whereabouts. She has not responded and returned my calls or messages for almost 7-8 months now.I don't want to get divorced. I love her. I love my son and I miss him.I want to fix it somehow. She isn't ready to go to for couples counselling to solve this, neither responds to any mediation from my side senior members of the family and relatives.About me, I am a good-hearted guy. Yes, I have flaws, sometimes I am a little dominating and might get angry and speak harsh words. I have changed a lot over the years and it's gotten better these days. Apart from that, I don't have any negatives I believe.Help me. Pls give suggestions on what to do.Thanks in advance Ms. Anu. Sincerely awaiting your sincere advice/solution.

I am 40 year old and married for 14 years but what happened in 2011 was me n my wife was working in a same company and my wife became close to a colleague on the same floor we work. She was very friendly n one day her colleague proposed her via her friend my wife didn't tell me n she felt very excited about it and after she became very friendly with him after few days she was ignoring me and she expressed her feelings too.but soon she realised she is going wrong and i noticed her changed behaviour and soon she started ignoring tht guy but he came n offered her chocolate and my wife informed me saying this guy's intentions I ask her to tie raakhi she tried but he was running away later we logged out she asked me to stop him and I forced him to him to tie raakhi and my wife was tying and he said I love u. I gve a tight slap to tht guy. Soon after he left the job. We were still working and left the office n joined different companies.after 6 months she went to same office for 2 months. And suddenly she left the job.Now after 12 years her TL met with my ex colleague and shared he working in tht office my colleague asked hey in tht same office my friend was working with his wife and her TL said ohh yeah his wife had n affair with other guy and he asked his wife to raakhi. And my ex colleague called me n said the same to me and since then I have so many doubts on my wife and after few days she confessed she had feelings for him and she already knew he likes her and she said it was just a feeling. Now we are having difference between us. Please help what can be done now I'm getting disturbed alot. 12 years this was secret.

I am 46 years old male married for the fast 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly posessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my collegue who is a widower and 25 years of age with a daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not there. Now, I am in love with that widower. I told this to my wife also. She was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl.But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times for a couple of times. It seems, now that girl is not interested in me. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, i am keeping whats app messages which are visible only to her. I dont know whether she is not understanding this one, she is not responding. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.

I am 46 years old male married for the past 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly possessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my colleague who is a widow and 25 years of age with a seven years daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. Then, I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not much as in the earlier section. Now, I am in love with that widow. I told this to my wife also but not told about this to that widow. After hearing this my wife was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl. But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, I am keeping whats app statuses which are visible only to her. When ever I put up sad and love break up messages only that time she will respond by keeping whatsapp status otherwise she will be neutral. Whenever, I called her she replied and we spoke casually. Now, she also knows that I am loving her but not responding. I have deleted her mobile number but I remember it. Daily after leaving the house and before reaching the house I delete the number. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.