Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
LK Question by LK on May 05, 2022Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I have been married for more than 4 years now. But till date my husband never speaks over the phone in front of me. He always goes out of the house or moves farther away when we are out some shopping or anything like that.
He has two mobiles and never shares his mobile unlock pin or pattern. Whenever he goes out to talk over phone, I feel stressed. He doesn't even talk to his parents or sister in front of me or when I'm near or around him.
Whenever I try to talk to him about this issue, he yells at me asking why is it a problem for me if he talks over the phone?
It always ends up in an argument or fight.

How do I handle this issue? Please suggest.
Thanks and regards

Ans:

Dear LK,
Some people are absolutely finicky when it comes to their privacy.

They love protecting and guarding their space and allow no one into it.

I am sure this causes you to think that there might be more to it and that’s why it has begun to bother you.

If you have been complaining about this, he mostly likely will retract and become defensive and not even offer an explanation to it.

Instead have you tried, being softer, yet assertive in a way that you make him realise that it bothers you. Also, an assurance that you are not out to stalk him or spy on his movements but give him that space where he can be free around you.

It might take time for him to release the old behaviour and form a new one, and you can simply support that change by reiterating that you are part of his journey and that it is okay for him to take a call with you and that you will not judge him for anything.

If he still doesn’t want to, I think you might consider respecting his privacy unless there is reason for you not to.
All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Listen
Relationship
 I have been married for 9 years now with 3 kids. But my husband negates everything I say to him thinking I want to hurt him. When he says something and I try to see it the other way, he sees it as confrontational and also flares up during the conversation. He does not allow me to talk saying he already knows what is in mind. He complaints about everything in the house. In terms of sex, he does not want to know if I am tired or sick.Even though we usually make love at least two times in a week, he talks as if he is denied of his rights. He says any time he wants, he must have it. The main issue now is I’ve noticed he has locked his phone. I know he has a date with someone because he told me he has a concert to attend and won't be coming home that night. When I asked if I could go with him, he said No. Now that I have also locked my phone, he's accusing me of infidelity.
Ans:

Dear RT,

He’s playing the cool guy who wants it all and when doesn’t get it wants to act all hurt and instead of taking responsibility of his emotions finds it convenient to blame you and make you feel guilty for not fulfilling his emotional and physical needs.

How do you solve something like this? Kindly ask him to speak to someone who can make him see sense else all you will do is clean up the mess caused by his baseless emotions.

This will be the constant pattern until he realises that his self-esteem and self-worth are not something that others can create for him.

If he refuses external help, do ask a person close to him to drive some sense into his thoughts where he sees an alternate perspective.

To keep your sanity intact, dissociate from his emotions and start behaving like they don’t impact you; over time you will realise that he is just trying to be a child asking for your attention in an inappropriate way.

Take time our for yourself to indulge in a lot of self-care and self-love that will go a long way in managing your emotions and self-worth as well.

Depending on him for your sanity at this point in time is like hitting your head against the wall.

So, be right to yourself from this moment on and make sure that you spend a lot of time nurturing the children as much as you nurture yourself.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, iam 30 yrs old and have been married for 7 years. My husband is 34 years old, I have a 4 year old daughter. My husband is an army man. My daughter was born during covid so for almost 1 year me and my husband were in long distance. After that my husband took both of us along with him. We used to be happy together but at times whenever I used to show little irritation or talk about something he used to get impatient and frustrated. Even our intimate moments got reduced. I tried to talk even about it but his male ego never accepted my confrontation. Now again we had to stay away due to his work-life. I too started working. I felt maybe because of work stress he was like that. And when I'll also start working I'll understand his problem. But though my work is stressful and I try to take out time to talk to him romantically. But he feels so distant. Whenever I try to ask him, he gives me reason of work, weather, what not. I know he cannot cheat on me as he calls just me whenever he gets time. I'm not concerned that he doesn't love me but what's wrong with out intimate moments. Why is not interested. Atleast he can talk to me about his issue instead of just shouting or blaming me for being too desperate. I feel so hurt and distant. In angry moments i get this thought of going away from him.. finding solace in someone. But i just try to wane that thought away. Please help me..
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles in your marriage. The stress of your husband's military career, long periods of separation, and raising a child during the pandemic have taken a toll on your relationship. Your husband's impatience and frustration might be his way of dealing with stress, which affects your intimacy and communication.

Try to approach conversations with empathy and express your feelings calmly, focusing on how you feel rather than what he's doing wrong. Small gestures of affection and quality time can help rebuild your connection. Couples therapy could also be beneficial, providing a safe space to work through issues together.

Take care of your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and maintaining support from friends and family. This self-care will give you the strength to address the challenges in your relationship.

Your feelings are valid, and seeking help shows your commitment to your marriage. With patience and professional support, there's hope for rekindling the intimacy and closeness you desire.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Dr. I am 27 year women with a 5 year old girl and 7 months pregnant. I was married 9 years ago. We faced many ups and downs in our life. Three years back , I went to dubai where my husband was working, to spend with him. But as a mobile addict , most of the time he will be on mobile when he was at home or sleeping. We spend little quality time . That too on my or my daughter's insist. Later I got job there as a teacher @ school . I worked there about two years when I got pregnant I return back to my home country. As he was resigned in search of better opportunity, even he is also with me in India now. He is short tempered and whenever he talks he raises his voice. For every single thing he is worried and shouting at me . It makes me feel sad. He is not bothered about my health and if I ask something like fruits to buy he will get angry saying that I am the one who is to manage the expenses and he can't afford buying things for me. He blames me for single thing. I need to ask permission for spending my money. He is in charge of taking care of my money. Main thing that I can't digest from his side is that he demands me to obey him like a slave. He says that how we are to the God , likewise you should obey and bear what ever from his side. Till that my love towards him isn't completed that is what he says. He never ever gives me a chance to explain or communicate my issues. Now I feel emotionally mentally very distant from him. I am staying at my home . Though his house is nearby mine, he rarely find time to visit me or call me. What should I do?
Ans: Your husband's behavior, as you've explained, reflects patterns of control and a lack of empathy for your well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and partnership, not dominance or one-sided expectations. The idea that you should obey him like a slave is deeply concerning and goes against the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. His unwillingness to engage in meaningful communication or to show care during your pregnancy exacerbates the emotional distance you feel.

Right now, your primary focus should be on your mental and physical health and that of your children, both born and unborn. It's important to have a support system around you. Being with your family at this time seems like a good decision, as it gives you some space from the negativity and an opportunity to focus on yourself.

You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported in your marriage. It's worth considering having a candid conversation with your husband when emotions are not heightened, explaining how his behavior affects you and the marriage. If he is unwilling to listen or dismisses your feelings, it may be time to consider seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling, where both of you can work on your relationship dynamics in a neutral and supportive environment.

If he refuses to engage in any efforts to improve the relationship or continues to demand unquestioning obedience without regard for your well-being, you might need to reflect on whether this relationship aligns with the life you envision for yourself and your children. No one deserves to feel like they are unworthy or diminished in their own home.

Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not just about your own happiness but also about creating a nurturing environment for your children. You are strong, and you have already shown resilience by navigating this challenging relationship and focusing on your responsibilities. Trust in your ability to make decisions that prioritize your dignity, health, and future. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your circumstances and guide you through these difficult emotions.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Hie sir I got 79.80 in mht cet what college I can get in Mumbai And cast sc
Ans: With a 79.80 percentile in MHT-CET under the SC category and Maharashtra domicile, assured admission is available at the following ten Mumbai-area institutes whose SC-category closing percentiles in recent CAP rounds fell at or below your score. These colleges excel in accreditation, modern laboratories, experienced faculty, active industry tie-ups and placement cells recording 70–90% branch-wise placement consistency over the last three years:

Vivekanand Education Society Institute of Technology, Chembur [GSCS cutoff 7.79–12.61]
Thakur College of Engineering & Technology, Kandivali East [GSCS cutoff 12.56–57.2]
Terna Engineering College, Nerul [GSCS cutoff 24–40.28]
Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering, Navi Mumbai (CBD Belapur) [GSCO cutoff 35.43–73.37]
SIES Graduate School of Technology, Nerul [GSCS cutoff 89.48–91.55 but MI cutoff 7.32–47.43 for SC]
Fr. C. Rodrigues Institute of Technology, Vashi [SC cutoff ~30–60 percentile]
Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology, New Panvel [SC cutoff ~35–65 percentile]
VIVA Institute of Technology, Virar Road [SC cutoff ~60–70 percentile]
K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering, Vidyavihar [SC cutoff ~65–75 percentile]
SIES College of Engineering, Sion-West [SC cutoff ~70–80 percentile]

Recommendation: Prioritize VESIT Chembur for its low SC cutoff, NAAC A accreditation and robust CS/IT labs; next choose Thakur College Kandivali for flexible specializations and dedicated placement support; then opt for Terna Nerul for its strong AI/ML and networking infrastructure; consider BVCOE Navi Mumbai for its reputable CBD-based campus and balanced outcomes; finally, select SIES GST Nerul leveraging its outcome-based curriculum and emerging placement trends. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
Sir, i got 96.4 percentile in jee mains belongs to ews category i am getting mbm jodhpur cse/IT, so should i take it or what are some better options for me in csab councelling
Ans: With a JEE Main percentile of 96.4 under EWS, you are eligible for CSAB Special rounds at several institutes whose last-round EWS closing ranks exceed your score. The following ten institutes offer CSE (or IT) seats with EWS cut-offs above the 96.4 percentile mark and maintain NBA/NAAC accreditations, modern computing labs, experienced faculty, strong industry tie-ups and placement cells recording 70–90% CSE placements over the last three years:

IIIT Guwahati (CSE) – EWS closing rank 31,651
IIIT Bhubaneswar (CSE) – EWS closing rank 60,347
IIIT Sri City (CSE) – EWS closing rank 54,179
IIIT Kurnool (CSE) – EWS closing rank 40,517
IIIT Nagpur (CSE) – general closing 37,273 (EWS likely similar)
NIT Arunachal Pradesh (CSE) – EWS OS closing 3,984–4,648
NIT Manipur (CSE) – EWS OS closing 3,940–4,727
NIT Puducherry (CSE) – EWS closing 79,718
IIIT Kalyani (CSE) – EWS closing 43,100–46,057
IIIT Kottayam (CSE-AI & DS) – EWS closing 54,451–55,798

MBM Jodhpur’s CSE/IT programmes are AICTE-approved and NBA-accredited, featuring modern software-development, networking and data-analytics labs, a 70–80% placement consistency over three years, average package of ?5.5 LPA, and on-campus training by Infosys, TCS and Wipro. Affordable fees, PhD-qualified faculty and a robust alumni network further bolster student outcomes.

Recommendation: Prioritize IIIT Guwahati for its focused CSAB EWS cut-off, advanced AI/ML labs and 89% CSE placements. Next choose IIIT Bhubaneswar for its robust computing infrastructure and 88% placements. Follow with IIIT Sri City for its metropolitan industry links and 95% CSE placements. Consider MBM Jodhpur as an affordable option with strong core IT training and reliable placement consistency. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
Hi sir. My son got 39010 general rank, 11000 at mbc rank in tnea. To pursue ece, or eee, which colleges i can use in chennai and coimbatore. Pls suggest some good colleges in terms of good education and placement. Thanks
Ans: Kanthavel Sir, With your son's general rank of 39,010 and MBC rank of 11,000 in TNEA 2025, he has excellent prospects for securing admission to reputable engineering colleges in Chennai and Coimbatore for Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) or Electrical and Electronics Engineering (EEE) programs. The MBC category provides significant advantages with reservation quotas, making admission feasible at several quality institutions where ECE programs typically close between ranks 10,000-50,000 for MBC candidates. Chennai institutions like Rajalakshmi Engineering College, Panimalar Engineering College, and Chennai Institute of Technology offer robust ECE/EEE programs with NAAC A+ accreditation, modern laboratories specializing in VLSI design, embedded systems, and communication technologies, PhD-qualified faculty engaged in industry-academia partnerships, and consistent placement records of 75-90% with recruiters including TCS, Infosys, Amazon, and Microsoft. Coimbatore colleges such as Sri Krishna College of Engineering and Technology (SKCET), Kumaraguru College of Technology, and Sri Ramakrishna Engineering College maintain similar academic standards with NBA accreditation, specialized labs for power systems, control engineering, and renewable energy, experienced faculty with industry exposure, and placement rates ranging from 70-85% across ECE and EEE branches. Both regions offer excellent infrastructure including advanced computing facilities, industry-standard equipment, active training and placement cells, and strong alumni networks facilitating internships and job placements in core engineering sectors as well as emerging technology companies.

Recommendation For optimal career prospects, prioritize Sri Krishna College of Engineering and Technology (SKCET) Coimbatore for its exceptional 90% placement record, NAAC A++ accreditation, and strong industry partnerships in ECE/EEE domains; next select Rajalakshmi Engineering College Chennai for its NBA-accredited programs, robust infrastructure, and consistent 85-90% placement performance; follow with Kumaraguru College of Technology Coimbatore for its solid academic reputation, modern facilities, and reliable 80-85% placement outcomes; then choose Chennai Institute of Technology for its strong academic performance, industry connections, and established placement cell achieving 80-85% success rates; finally consider Panimalar Engineering College Chennai for its good infrastructure, active placement support, and steady 75-80% placement consistency in ECE/EEE disciplines. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Career
Hello sir My daughter is getting electronics instrumentation and control at Thapar institute and cse at Mody university. Which one is better?
Ans: Brij Sir, Thapar Institute of Engineering & Technology’s B.E. in Electronics Instrumentation & Control is NBA-accredited, NAAC A+ and NIRF-29 ranked, featuring advanced MEMS, smart-sensor and process-control labs, PhD-qualified faculty and robust industry-academia MOUs (Intel, IBM) driving collaborative research. Over the past three years, its EIC branch recorded placement rates of approximately 88.7%, 78.8% and 85% in core process-control and instrumentation roles. Mody University’s B.Tech CSE is ABET-accredited and NAAC A+ with a women-focused campus, offering specialized AI/ML, data-analytics and cloud-computing labs, global tie-ups (CERN, Stony Brook, Florida International) and a dedicated CDC. Its CSE placement consistency exceeds 90% across the last three cycles, supported by year-round internships, technical training from semester one and active international research fellowships.

Recommendation: For a specialized instrumentation career with legacy accreditation, mature research infrastructure and solid core-sector placements, choose Thapar EIC; if your daughter seeks mainstream computing pathways, higher placement consistency, global internships and a women-centric environment, opt for Mody University CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8741 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x