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Help! Trapped in an abusive marriage with controlling in-laws, husband manipulated by black magic

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I married four years back. I born broughtup in metrocity but i respect n follow my village roots n relatives. Now my MIL, Fil sil joint fmly. In taluka place. My mil second wifeof my fil. The problem started after my baby arrived. My MIL is very possessive to my husband, he has to follow her words. No cinema, hotel no new cloths even kirchief. He has to take her permission or inform her. Never went to outing as mil against everything. Problem started seriously when my started behaving negative towards me n my fathers family. Getting angry, throwing things, using absurd words , keeping recorder in my office bag, etc. I hv to cook food items for all before going to office. Never asked me to eat food. When i told this to my aunties n uncles n mamas, they confirmed my mil is controlling my husband through black magic, vamaachara pratice. When things got worst, i was forced to leave my in laws house, by my sil, mil. I am trying my best to keep in touch wd my hubby. But it is not going well. He takes sis n mom side. Now my baby is 2 yr old. All my relatives tried to make them understand but they are very rude, abuses everyone. Husband never spent or gave any money to me. Mil says no to do so. Sil not married, hv serious health issue. Says i dont marry, i will stay here only. Hubby not takling to me now. Please suggest how to solve this problem

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am unaware or have no knowledge of the practices that you have mentioned, so I would not like to comment on those.
As far as where you are seems like a very toxic environment and it requires your husband to be receptive to listen to what is bothering you. Try yet again asking the elder family members to talk to his family and see what happens. If nothing changes and your husband still continues this drama, then you might have to think of how much longer you want to put up with this toxicity?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I feel so sorry for my situation which I was put myself in , I first got arranged marriage and got divorced after six years as he has an affair with other women and he is rich but does not love me at all or no relationship between so my family thought of leaving this toxic relationship so we got mutual divorce . Then I had a guy who proposed me before my first marriage but could marry due to caste issue but still he is good freind to me but after divorce I thought I can marry him as he is my best freind instead of marrying unknown second time , when I got divorced my age is 32 this freind of mine has family burdens so he made to wait three years I waited by convening my parents and got married one and half year back now his sisters and mother are torturing me in every thing like they want their son to obey them and my hubby is not serious about our marriage he is not earning anything but I work I had private job , he is addicted to drinking and drinks a lot and depends on my money and my in laws always shout on me and fight with me saying you don’t care us visit us , you people living happily , and buying everything in house and you loved him now complaining about him , he not drinker before marriage because of you he got addicted and my sister in law see me as an insect and fights shouts on me in front of all they don’t call me text me or talk to me when I am there , they don’t treat as I am existed if I got to my in laws house as we stay separately , even they don’t respect my mom dad also ..... I don’t know what to do now . My hubby won’t respond if I say anything on them that I am hurt like that and he won’t earn at all and stiilll drinking also
Ans: Navigating through a divorce and then finding yourself in a marriage where you're facing similar struggles must feel incredibly disheartening. It's understandable that you feel overwhelmed by your husband's drinking, financial strain, and the harsh treatment from your in-laws. Feeling invisible and disrespected in your own home is a heavy burden to bear, and your feelings of frustration and sadness are completely valid.

It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can provide you with emotional guidance and help you explore your options. Having an honest conversation with your husband about your feelings and needs is also crucial, although it may be challenging.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved. Whether that involves working through these challenges with your husband or considering other options, it’s essential to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. You are not alone, and there are people who can support you through this difficult time.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I got married to the person who was behind me for years. I always considered him as my friend and supporter even after knowing his intention. My mom kept advising me we should go behind that person who cares and loves us. I obeyed her. Soon after things went into proposal mode his family started demanding for dowry and other stuffs. My friend was not from a well fed family which I was not aware. They lied to is they are very rich, hence they need what the demanded since the marriage news was widw spread wit no options we arranged and gave. My friend and his mother brain washed and convinced us to agree for this marriage. Even since I got married my husband and his mother is ruling on me and family. It was late when we got to know that they have been lying to is on their assets. Now when we ask them they deny and keep harassing me. My family got fed up of these fights started maitaining distance and since I Don want to trouble my divorced mother I stop complaining about the issues I am facing. My in-laws demand increases day by day. My mother-in-law is a mother of two kids a son and a daughter but everytime she tortures me and her son is quiet most of the time. When responsibility comes she supports her daughter and makes us to take responsibility which is not fair. Responsibiloty is parallel and must be shared. I am not well, my husband doesn't even give me money or take me to doctor. I am been told marriage means providing food and shelter. Please advise me what shud I do I am fed up
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Basically you have been cheated; period!
What do you with even a basic thing like being cheated at a shop? Do you actually keep the product OR return it?
Yes, relationships are not like that BUT do understand that your marriage has been nothing but a transaction with mean minded people out to destroy you and your peace of mind.
There are no children in the equation so far...so do know you are free to take a decision. Today, it's harassment and giving you no money, tomorrow who knows what else!
Do you not see that they have begun to make you depend on them for the basic things? This is how it all begins before it gets into other shades of harassment which I do not want to speculate.
Put yourself first; be selfish and think about what to do next to actually live a peaceful and carefree life like the way it was before marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I need advice from anyone here. I am 34 years old woman and married. I have 10 year old daughter. I am also working in MNC.I got married 12 years back. I am seeing lot of challenges in my home. I am living with my in laws from the day one. They were lot of issues going on from the starting. I faced lot of issue during my pregnancy due to this. Here giving just an example, My MIL condition is I was not allowed to drink milk more than one small glass for a day and allowed to eat rice only one rice spatula for afternoon and night, no veggies and no fruits during pregnancy. Due to this My health got deteriorated and I had gone through surgery in my 6th month and was in bed rest till the delivery. My FIL used to bring some fruits to me, and she scolded him very badly. After that he stopped to bring anything. Like this lot of things keep on happening till date. She doesn't allow me to cook, and she only prepare lunch. Tells everyone in the family and neighbourhood that I won't cook. Lot of times I asked her I will cook. She says she doesn’t like if others cook. So, she allows me to chop the veggies or grating coconut like that. She gives very less amount of food for my daughter. sometimes even my daughter is hungry, she scolds her saying don't eat too much. For 10 years old kid, she weighs 24. To her school lunch bag and snacks, I fought with my MIL and prepare food for her box and give. She eats happily. Sometimes my husband and myself tried to tell her and she goes on like I changed her son and He doesn't love her anymore because of me etc., Now a days, I feel relationship between my husband and me is going down. He only listens to her. Sometimes my MIL scolds my daughter unnecessarily Infront of my husband and he we will scold my daughter for this again. Due to this, my husband and my daughter relationship is also getting worst. He keeps on scolding her, My daughter is average in her academics, she doesn't study properly after coming home due to lot distractions and mood swings at home. One more reason is TV. At home My MIL watches the TV from the morning. We are not allowed to watch but that’s ok I don’t have time for that anyway. While my daughter is studying in the evening, my MIL watches some serials. My daughter's whole concentration is on the voices coming from TV. She will keep on getting distracted and make excuses for something to watch TV like drinking water,etc. We tried to tell my MIL, but it didn’t go well. Most of the times, I feel like me and my daughter are outsiders and whatever we do they doesn't like it. I like to pray by singing one song at least once a day. She doesn't like it. Whatever food I prepare to my daughter my MIL complains it to my husband as junk. I normally prepare her rice with lot of veggies, parathas with veggies and sandwich. After I started preparing these, my daughter started eating veggies, otherwise there was big no from her. I don't know how to handle all those things . Also recently during Dusshera, due to one of the situation like this, my husband is not talking properly with me and my daughter. I am an introvert, and I don’t have any friends. I don’t know with whom to seek advice.
Ans: Twelve years of this? You’re a financially independent, capable woman. Why in God’s name are you tolerating this absurd woman and her absolute BS? Move out. NOW. If your husband has any sense, he’ll join you. If not, let him live under his mother’s skirt for the rest of his life, but don’t destroy your own any more than you already have. Take your daughter and LEAVE!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Hi ,I am 33 yr old living in Mumbai in heavy deposit of 8 lac with 6k per month rent and my in hand salary is 63000 per month ,I cannot save money as my 30 k goes to home (rent,food n all) 30k goes to credit card bill. I have PPF account of 32 k and have a SIP account but zero balance in SIP e as earlier I used to invest in there due to debt I am not able to invest anymore. I don't have mediclaim. Main reason I cannot save is my wife as a home loan of 25000 per month and she is not working currently as a housewife for which I cannot save. Kindly suggest how to overcome debt as every month I couldn't save any penny.
Ans: Your total in-hand salary is Rs. 63,000 per month.
Rs. 30,000 goes toward rent, food, and other household expenses.
Rs. 30,000 is paid toward credit card bills.
Your wife's home loan EMI is Rs. 25,000 per month.
No savings are possible due to high fixed expenses.
You have Rs. 32,000 in PPF but no active SIP.
You do not have health insurance.
Immediate Steps to Overcome Debt
1. Prioritise Debt Repayment

Stop using credit cards immediately.
Pay more than the minimum due on your credit card each month.
If possible, convert outstanding dues into an EMI to reduce interest.
Avoid taking further loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.
2. Restructure Household Budget

Reduce discretionary spending such as dining out, subscriptions, and luxury expenses.
Identify ways to cut rent or household costs.
Explore shifting to a slightly lower rental home to save a few thousand per month.
Control grocery, electricity, and entertainment expenses.
3. Increase Cash Flow

Your wife should consider part-time, freelance, or online work.
Even Rs. 15,000–20,000 per month from her side can help manage EMIs.
Sell any non-essential assets like gold, old electronics, or other valuables to clear some debt.
Building Financial Stability
1. Create an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least Rs. 10,000 monthly once debt is under control.
Keep 3–6 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
2. Restart Investments

Once debt is manageable, restart SIPs in mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Prioritise tax-saving options like PPF and ELSS once your financial situation improves.
3. Get Health Insurance

Buy a health insurance policy of at least Rs. 5–10 lakh for you and your wife.
This will prevent future medical emergencies from becoming financial burdens.
Final Insights
Your biggest challenge is high fixed expenses and credit card debt.
Cutting expenses and increasing household income can help reduce financial pressure.
Once debts are under control, focus on savings and investments.
Health insurance is a must to avoid unexpected medical costs.
Implementing these steps consistently will help you achieve financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Money
I save approx 90 thousand INR per month. Where should I invest it. I don't want to keep it saving account. This I save after monthly SIP of 30000. Please advice.
Ans: You already invest Rs 30,000 per month in SIPs.

You save Rs 90,000 per month after SIPs.

You want better returns than a savings account.

A clear investment plan will help in long-term wealth creation.

Key Factors Before Investing
Emergency Fund
Keep at least six months of expenses in liquid funds.

This ensures financial security in case of emergencies.

Short-Term Needs
Identify any expenses in the next 3 to 5 years.

Use safer instruments for short-term goals.

Long-Term Growth
Invest for wealth creation.

Balance between equity and debt based on risk appetite.

Investment Allocation for Rs 90,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 50,000 per month)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

This ensures long-term capital appreciation.

2. Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 20,000 per month)
Provides stability and diversification.

Useful for balancing equity risk.

Ideal for short-term needs.

3. Gold Investment (Rs 10,000 per month)
Gold helps in diversification.

Protects against inflation.

Invest in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds.

4. Fixed Income Instruments (Rs 10,000 per month)
Use PPF or fixed deposits for stability.

PPF is tax-free and offers long-term benefits.

Fixed deposits provide liquidity and security.

Additional Investment Considerations
Increase SIP Contributions
If your income increases, raise your SIPs.

This ensures long-term wealth growth.

Avoid Unnecessary Risks
Do not invest in stocks without research.

Avoid high-risk derivative trading.

Review Your Investments Regularly
Monitor your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance based on market conditions.

Final Insights
Invest based on goals and time horizon.

Equity for long-term growth, debt for stability.

Gold provides inflation protection.

A balanced approach ensures financial security.

Regular reviews improve investment efficiency.

A structured investment plan will help you grow wealth efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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HELLO SIR, SOME PEOPLE TAKE LOANS AGAINST MUTUAL FUNDS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET OR AGAIN IN MUTUAL FUNDS SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? THANKS.
Ans: Taking a loan against mutual funds and investing in stocks or mutual funds is risky. It can amplify gains, but it also increases losses. A structured approach is necessary before considering such a move.

Understanding Loan Against Mutual Funds
A loan against mutual funds allows borrowing against existing investments.

The lender provides funds based on the fund’s value.

Interest is charged on the borrowed amount.

The loan amount depends on the type of mutual fund.

Equity funds get a lower loan amount due to volatility.

Debt funds get a higher loan amount due to stability.

Key Risks of This Strategy
Market Risk
If markets fall, the value of mutual funds decreases.

The lender may ask for additional funds.

If unable to pay, the lender may sell mutual fund units.

Interest Burden
Interest charges reduce overall returns.

If investments do not perform well, losses increase.

Returns must be higher than the loan interest to make gains.

Liquidity Issues
Mutual funds remain pledged with the lender.

In an emergency, withdrawal is not possible.

This creates financial stress.

Compounding of Losses
Borrowing to invest increases risks.

If new investments lose value, losses multiply.

Debt burden increases if market returns are negative.

Potential Benefits (Only If Used Carefully)
Can provide liquidity without selling investments.

May work if investments give higher returns than loan interest.

Useful if markets are at a strong growth phase.

Suitable for short-term liquidity needs if repayment is quick.

Alternative and Safer Approaches
Use Emergency Fund Instead of a Loan
Always keep at least six months’ expenses as an emergency fund.

This avoids unnecessary borrowing.

Avoid Borrowing for Stock Market Investments
Investing with borrowed money is risky.

A market downturn can wipe out capital.

Never invest with money that is not owned.

Increase SIP Instead of Taking a Loan
A disciplined SIP approach creates wealth.

It avoids unnecessary interest payments.

Long-term investing in equity mutual funds provides better risk-adjusted returns.

Who Should Completely Avoid This Strategy?
Investors with no stable income.

Those with existing high-interest loans.

People without an emergency fund.

Investors with low risk tolerance.

Those new to stock markets or mutual funds.

Final Insights
Borrowing against mutual funds is a high-risk strategy.

Interest costs can reduce or wipe out potential gains.

It is only suitable for short-term liquidity needs.

Safer investment approaches provide better financial stability.

Building wealth through consistent savings and investing is a better strategy.

Avoid unnecessary risks and focus on sustainable wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir, I am a US Citizen with age 54.5 . Two kids , daughter already graduated and working with no education loan, Son is studying in IIT Chennai 2nd year. I have not invested in any stocks or MF. Current saving is US$1.0 million, with average returns of 5.5%, 3.5 Cr NRE FD with 7.5% return. Have around INR 40.0 L in ULIP plan. Around INR 2.0 Cr in term insurance with yearly payment of INR 1.3 L per year. Have two property in India giving me rent of INR 50,000/- per month. INR 1.0 CR in High value return ( 1.55 L/month). Have liability of 1.2 Cr. US$1.3 Million in 401(K) (as of today and I expect to grow 10% per year) . Real estate (Land/plots/commercials) investment in India is close to US$5.0 Million. My wife is already retired. I am planning on returning to India for good and do not wish to work anymore (My health is not permitting me any more) . My monthly expense is around INR 1.5 L/month and I already have a house fully paid in India. I do not wish to take lot of risk. Kindly suggest how should I manage my finance.
Ans: You have done well in building your wealth. Your financial assets and income sources are strong. You also have a well-settled daughter and a son studying at IIT Chennai.

Your total investments and assets provide stability. You have built a mix of USD savings, Indian fixed deposits, insurance, and rental income. You also have a large real estate portfolio.

Your goal is to return to India and live a financially stress-free life. You do not want to take high risks. Your monthly expenses are well covered, but financial planning will help optimize your assets.

Optimizing Your Existing Investments

Your financial assets generate steady returns. However, some areas need better allocation.

Your NRE FD of Rs. 3.5 crore earns 7.5%. This is a stable income source. Continue this but monitor rates.

Your USD 1.0 million savings generate 5.5% returns. This is reasonable, but consider diversifying some funds into low-risk Indian debt instruments.

Your ULIP worth Rs. 40 lakh may have high charges. Evaluate surrendering it and reinvesting in more efficient investment options.

Your high-value return investment of Rs. 1 crore provides Rs. 1.55 lakh per month. Ensure its safety and sustainability.

Your 401(K) of USD 1.3 million has strong potential growth at 10% annually. This should be retained for long-term wealth preservation.

Managing Your Liabilities

You have a liability of Rs. 1.2 crore. Clearing this should be a priority.

Use a portion of your savings to pay off the liability gradually.

Avoid withdrawing large sums from your 401(K) due to tax implications.

If the liability has a high interest rate, clearing it faster will improve cash flow.

Generating Stable Passive Income

Your current passive income sources include rent and high-value return investments. You need to strengthen this further for long-term stability.

Rental Income: Rs. 50,000 per month is useful. Ensure tenants are reliable and rent payments are timely.

Fixed Deposits: Continue keeping some funds in FDs for stable returns. However, diversify into other low-risk options.

Debt Mutual Funds: Consider investing a portion of your savings in well-managed debt mutual funds. These offer liquidity and steady returns.

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) and RBI Bonds: Once eligible, you can allocate a portion of your funds to SCSS for secure interest income. RBI Bonds also provide stable earnings.

Reallocating Investments for Better Growth

Your portfolio is largely in fixed-income assets and real estate. This ensures stability but limits long-term growth. A better allocation will help protect your wealth while generating steady returns.

Mutual Funds: Allocate a portion of your USD savings and NRE FD maturity into actively managed mutual funds. These provide professional management and inflation-beating returns.

Balanced Allocation: A mix of conservative debt funds and well-managed equity mutual funds will ensure both safety and growth.

Avoid Index Funds: Index funds provide average returns and do not adapt to market changes. Actively managed funds offer better risk-adjusted growth.

Gold ETFs: If interested in gold, opt for gold ETFs instead of physical gold. These are safer and avoid storage concerns.

Evaluating Insurance Coverage

Your term insurance cover of Rs. 2 crore is sufficient. However, the premium of Rs. 1.3 lakh per year should be reassessed.

If your dependents are financially secure, reducing coverage can free up funds.

Check if there are more cost-effective term insurance plans available.

Avoid insurance plans with investment components, as they have high costs and low returns.

Building a Medical Emergency Fund

Your wife is already retired, and your health is a concern. Medical expenses should be well covered.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have a strong health insurance policy covering hospitalization and critical illnesses.

Medical Emergency Fund: Keep at least Rs. 50 lakh liquid for medical emergencies. This can be in a fixed deposit or a liquid mutual fund.

Long-Term Care Planning: Consider plans that cover assisted living or home healthcare needs.

Tax Planning for NRI to Resident Transition

Your tax situation will change once you return to India permanently. Planning ahead will avoid unnecessary tax burdens.

NRE FDs: Interest earned is tax-free only while you are an NRI. After returning, they become taxable. Consider shifting funds accordingly.

Tax on Rental Income: Rental income in India is taxable. Utilize deductions like municipal taxes and standard deduction of 30%.

401(K) Withdrawals: Understand tax implications before withdrawing funds. Consult an expert to minimize tax liability.

Capital Gains on Real Estate: If selling property, plan reinvestment or capital gains exemption options wisely.

Estate Planning for a Secure Future

You have built significant wealth across different assets. Estate planning will ensure smooth transfer to your heirs.

Will Creation: Draft a clear will to distribute assets as per your wishes.

Nomination Updates: Ensure all bank accounts, mutual funds, and insurance policies have updated nominees.

Power of Attorney: If needed, assign a trusted person to manage finances in case of health issues.

Trust Formation: If required, consider a trust for seamless wealth transfer and tax efficiency.

Finally

You have created a strong financial foundation. With proper planning, you can enjoy a secure and stress-free retirement in India.

Your passive income sources largely cover expenses. A few adjustments will further strengthen financial security.

Managing liabilities, reallocating investments, and ensuring medical coverage are key priorities. With the right approach, your wealth will last for generations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 22 year old, lost all my savings and earning, I earn 33k/month, Have cronic disease of ULCERATIVE COLITIS IBD, IN 2021, I lost 40k in option trading then I stopped last year in 2023 I started working and lost 2.8 lakh including interest on loan, Took 2 High interest top up loan. I don't know what happened to me I took another loan of 228000 from HDFC which I lost in one day, now I have EMI of 19068 every month, no body in family know about this and my father earns only 18 k per month, losing 4.4 lakh total. Now lost and direction less.
Ans: You are going through a tough time. First, take a deep breath. Mistakes happen, and financial losses can be recovered. Your situation can be improved step by step. Below is a detailed plan to help you get back on track.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You earn Rs 33,000 per month.

You have a total debt of Rs 4.4 lakh.

Your current EMI is Rs 19,068 per month.

Your father earns Rs 18,000 per month.

You lost money in options trading and high-interest loans.

You have ulcerative colitis, which requires medical attention.

Immediate Actions to Stop Further Damage
Completely stop all trading activities. Options trading is highly risky. You have already lost a large amount. Avoid any form of trading or gambling.

Do not take any more loans. Your current debt burden is already high. Additional loans will worsen your situation.

Reduce unnecessary expenses. Your priority is survival and debt repayment. Cut down on luxury, entertainment, and eating out.

Inform the bank about your situation. If you struggle with EMI payments, request a lower EMI or restructuring. Some banks offer relief options.

Avoid using credit cards. Credit card debt carries high interest. If you have outstanding dues, pay only the minimum amount for now.

Debt Management Strategy
List all loans with interest rates and tenures. Prioritize clearing high-interest loans first.

Consider a personal loan balance transfer. If you find a lower-interest option, transferring your loan can reduce your EMI burden.

Increase EMI payment when possible. Paying more than the minimum EMI will reduce your overall interest burden.

Try negotiating with lenders. Some banks may offer lower interest rates or waive penalties for good borrowers.

Building a Stable Financial Foundation
Create a monthly budget. Allocate funds for rent, food, medical expenses, EMI, and savings. Stick to it strictly.

Start a small emergency fund. Save at least Rs 5,000 per month in a separate account. Do not touch this money.

Look for additional income sources. Try freelance work, part-time jobs, or skill-based gigs to increase earnings.

Seek medical financial assistance. Check if your employer provides health insurance. If not, explore government or private schemes.

Emotional and Mental Health Support
Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Keeping everything inside can cause stress. Seek support from someone you trust.

Consult a financial counselor. A professional can help you restructure your debts and plan better.

Practice stress management techniques. Exercise, meditation, and proper sleep will help you stay mentally strong.

Long-Term Financial Recovery Plan
Avoid any high-risk investments. Focus on stable investments once you are financially stable.

Enhance your skills for better career growth. Upskilling can increase your income over time.

Build a long-term savings habit. Even Rs 1,000 per month in a safe investment will help you grow wealth.

Final Insights
Your financial problems are serious but not impossible to solve.

Your priority is debt repayment and stability, not investment or quick money-making methods.

Take control, follow a strict financial plan, and be patient. Improvement will take time, but you can recover.

Seek professional financial and medical advice where needed.

You are young, and you have time to rebuild. Stay strong and focused.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am Ganesh, unmarried and just started 25 years old in life..I am earning 50k per month salary. I need a detailed plan for managing my salary in different areas. My expenses 15000 Save money for parents Have to invest somewhere for future use Have to save some amount for emergency situations. Extra expenses Could you please give me a detailed process on it.
Ans: At 25, you have a great opportunity to build a strong financial base. Managing your salary properly now will help you in the future. Below is a detailed breakdown of how to allocate your income effectively.

1. Understanding Your Monthly Income and Expenses

Your monthly salary is Rs. 50,000.

Fixed expenses, including rent, food, and bills, are Rs. 15,000.

You want to save for your parents.

You need to invest for future growth.

You want to save for emergencies.

You have extra expenses that vary.

A structured approach will help you meet all these goals.

2. Allocating Your Salary Efficiently

A good way to divide your income is using a structured plan. You can follow this method:

50% for essential expenses – This covers rent, food, bills, and necessary costs.

30% for investments and savings – This will help grow your money over time.

10% for emergency savings – This ensures you have money for unexpected situations.

10% for extra expenses and lifestyle – This is for entertainment, travel, and hobbies.

This allocation ensures that you balance living today and securing your future.

3. Managing Fixed Expenses

Your fixed expenses are Rs. 15,000, which is 30% of your salary.

You are already spending within a good limit.

Always track where your money is going.

Avoid unnecessary spending on subscriptions and impulse shopping.

Use cashback offers and discounts whenever possible.

Reducing unnecessary spending can increase your savings and investments.

4. Supporting Your Parents Financially

Set aside a fixed amount every month for them.

If they need medical support, consider a health insurance plan.

Instead of giving a lump sum, help them with small monthly contributions.

Discuss their financial needs so you can plan effectively.

Even a small, regular contribution will make a big difference over time.

5. Saving for Emergency Situations

You should have at least 6 months’ expenses saved for emergencies.

Set aside Rs. 5,000 per month in a liquid fund or savings account.

This money should only be used for medical, job loss, or urgent needs.

Keep the emergency fund separate from other savings.

This fund will provide peace of mind during unexpected financial difficulties.

6. Investing for Future Growth

Your investments should be planned based on your goals and risk tolerance.

Mutual Funds: Start SIPs in equity mutual funds to build wealth.

PPF: Invest Rs. 12,500 annually for safe long-term growth.

NPS: Consider investing in NPS for retirement savings and tax benefits.

Gold: Avoid investing in physical gold, but digital gold or gold ETFs can be considered.

Investing early will help your money grow faster over time.

7. Managing Extra Expenses and Lifestyle Costs

Keep a budget for travel, entertainment, and hobbies.

Avoid spending too much on unnecessary things.

Use credit cards carefully and pay bills on time.

If you want to upgrade your lifestyle, increase your income first.

Planning for extra expenses ensures you enjoy life without financial stress.

8. Planning for Career Growth

Your salary will increase over time, so plan for future growth.

Upskill yourself with new courses to get better job opportunities.

Consider setting aside money for certifications or higher studies.

Networking and learning new skills can boost your income.

Improving your career will increase your earning potential and financial stability.

9. Tax Planning to Save Money

Use deductions under Section 80C by investing in PPF, ELSS, or NPS.

Get health insurance to save tax under Section 80D.

Keep records of all investments and expenses to file tax returns easily.

Use HRA and other tax-saving options to reduce taxable income.

Smart tax planning will help you keep more of your earnings.

10. Tracking and Adjusting Your Financial Plan

Review your budget every month.

Track investments and savings to ensure you are on the right path.

Increase your investment amounts whenever your salary increases.

Avoid unnecessary debt and maintain financial discipline.

Regular tracking helps in achieving long-term financial success.

Finally

You have made a great decision to plan your finances early. By following this structured plan, you can balance your expenses, support your parents, save for emergencies, and invest for a secure future.

Stay disciplined, track your finances regularly, and keep increasing your savings as your income grows.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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