Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 29 year old bengali female married to a Bihar guy. We know each other since college and we have been married for 3 years. Things began to turn bitter after few months of our marriage. My husband is a govt. Employee has seen extreme poverty in his childhood. I belong to upper middle class family. Both of our parents were against our marriage. Now his family especially mother pressurise him for money that is beyond our reach. She thinks I stop him to give money. She constantly abuses my husband. He has two elder brother who are good for nothing,both are married have kids and even they expect financial help from us. I am very tensed we can't even think of spending a penny for our personal enjoyment. My husband understands all these but everytime falls into prey of my MIL'S emotional drama. She fakes illness or fights for money. I can't even share this with my family.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you are in such a situation. It is indeed a very complex situation. Financial troubles can disrupt marital bliss. But it has to be addressed, even if it leads to conflicts. Speak to your husband about your concerns. Politely tell him that his family's demands and his response to them are causing a financial crisis in your home. Sit together and discuss how much financial support can you provide to his family and what's beyond reasonable. Have a monthly budget and since his family will continue asking for money, keep some money (what you have decided together) for the same. Keep an emergency fund and most importantly, have a decent amount of savings.

After all these discussions, if things still don't change, consider going for marriage counseling. You gave up an affluent life to be with him; he can surely give up certain things that are clearly unreasonable. A third neutral party can point this out without you having to say it.

You can also suggest your husband push his family members to get better jobs so that they can provide for themselves. Besides everything, don't forget to take care of yourself. Be in touch with your family and share your worries with someone close to you. And maintain regular check-ins with your husband. It can't be easy on him either.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

Listen
Relationship
Dear mam, I am married for 14 yrs. Love marriage. I used to work earlier but quit because my husband was earning well and he said he will take care of me and my son. We used to be a happy couple but during the lockdown my mother-in-law and sister-in-law decided to move in with us. Slowly they started creating issues between my husband and me often badmouthing my behaviour or complaining about me. I was unaware about it until recently when we had a big fight. That’s when I realised that they have been planning to drive me out of the house and get him married to someone else whom they can manipulate. It’s been over a year now that my husband is not even talking to me properly. I went and stayed with my parents for some time but even they feel I am a burden and should adjust and accommodate instead of giving them reasons to fight. They don’t understand that all this is politics. Now my husband is talking to some girl whom I don’t like. That is causing more problems and fights between us. Anything I say is used against me now. Please help me mam. What to do?
Ans: Dear R, why did they start to create issues between you and your husband?

What led to this? It rarely happens that people go after people with no reason.

Did you have any reservations about them coming and staying over?

Did you express it in some form to them? (Ask these to yourself so that you know that any act on your part did not lead to this situation. Of course, nothing justifies their plotting to get their son married behind your back).

If the answer to this is NO, then it's time to confront your husband, get a mediator and put things on the table.

What does he want? What do you want?

Do you both want to continue in this marriage?

What are his responsibilities towards your son?

These need to be addressed without anymore delay. Being in a limbo state is not fun as it keeps you guessing and the uncertainty can cause a lot of stress.

Also, kindly sensitise your parents towards what you are going through, so that support you in this time of need.

Act NOW and whatever you decide, put yourself first and take care of you emotional state of mind.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I had late marraige . My husband was very keen to marry. In fact my family was not very keen. i was the only child and my mom passed away early. After my marraige my husband family behave differently. My mom-in law never allowed our normal relationship. My husband was not financially stable. However his mother used to fulfill all his wishes as she was in job. Now she is retired. I had a steady job and academic background. So I remained financially stable. But I never got any opportunity to lead a normal conjugal life. She constantly created psychological pressure so that I stay away from my husband. My husband also was unable to protest. He was more frank in absence of mother. This strange situation forced me to stay away from my inlaws place. I started living separately. My mom-in law was cooperative as long as Im away from them. Now if my husband is sick, he is informing me, taking financial help, but not allowing me to accompany him to doctor . Its a strange situation. Now My husband is in mental problem with no financial stability and normal peace of mind. How should I tackle this situation?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time in your marriage. It sounds like there are multiple issues at play here, including strained relationships with your in-laws, financial instability, and your husband's mental health. Here are some steps you can take to tackle this situation:

Seek counseling: It's important for you and your husband to get professional counseling to address the issues you're facing. A counselor can provide guidance on how to manage difficult family relationships, financial stress, and mental health issues.

Set boundaries: It's important to establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Communicate your needs and expectations with your husband and his family. This may include spending less time with them or limiting interactions with them.

Seek financial stability: If your husband is unable to contribute financially, it may be important for you to take charge of managing the household finances. This can help alleviate some of the stress and uncertainty around money.

Support your husband's mental health: Encourage your husband to seek professional help for his mental health issues. You can also offer emotional support and be there for him during this difficult time.

Focus on your own well-being: It's important for you to take care of yourself during this time. Make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family.

Remember, these issues may take time to resolve, but with patience, understanding, and professional help, you and your husband can work through them and find a path forward.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1040 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello, I got married to the person who was behind me for years. I always considered him as my friend and supporter even after knowing his intention. My mom kept advising me we should go behind that person who cares and loves us. I obeyed her. Soon after things went into proposal mode his family started demanding for dowry and other stuffs. My friend was not from a well fed family which I was not aware. They lied to is they are very rich, hence they need what the demanded since the marriage news was widw spread wit no options we arranged and gave. My friend and his mother brain washed and convinced us to agree for this marriage. Even since I got married my husband and his mother is ruling on me and family. It was late when we got to know that they have been lying to is on their assets. Now when we ask them they deny and keep harassing me. My family got fed up of these fights started maitaining distance and since I Don want to trouble my divorced mother I stop complaining about the issues I am facing. My in-laws demand increases day by day. My mother-in-law is a mother of two kids a son and a daughter but everytime she tortures me and her son is quiet most of the time. When responsibility comes she supports her daughter and makes us to take responsibility which is not fair. Responsibiloty is parallel and must be shared. I am not well, my husband doesn't even give me money or take me to doctor. I am been told marriage means providing food and shelter. Please advise me what shud I do I am fed up
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Basically you have been cheated; period!
What do you with even a basic thing like being cheated at a shop? Do you actually keep the product OR return it?
Yes, relationships are not like that BUT do understand that your marriage has been nothing but a transaction with mean minded people out to destroy you and your peace of mind.
There are no children in the equation so far...so do know you are free to take a decision. Today, it's harassment and giving you no money, tomorrow who knows what else!
Do you not see that they have begun to make you depend on them for the basic things? This is how it all begins before it gets into other shades of harassment which I do not want to speculate.
Put yourself first; be selfish and think about what to do next to actually live a peaceful and carefree life like the way it was before marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hello. I have started investing. I have invested 80k through an agent lumpsum. But now I want to start an sip by myself as well as buy an sgb. I have decided Nippon small cap as a fund for 10k and I have decided another fund motilal oswal midcap fund for 10k. Every month if I have anything left extra maybe 2-3k i will invest in other funds like index funds. I chose only small and mid cap because I am just 24 years old and I don't really have many expenses, long term investment horizon and decided 20k after keeping aside 10k for myself. I am also going to buy an sgb on zerodha coin and leave it for 8 years. I am goin to get 2.4 lakhs from my chut fund. I am not sure how much to invest in sgb and what to do with remaining. I have 1.5 in my fd. I started sip in et money app. I set it up and it's goin to start from July 1st 2024. Please help me with if the funds I chose are good for me and how do I split the 2.5 l and also please suggest if zerodha for sgb and et money for sip are good. I also wanted one for swp but i don't know much about that and where to start that. Do you suggest and swp fund for me for nor or just stick to my plan? Please help me . Thank you so much.
Ans: Review of Current Investments

You have started with a lumpsum investment of Rs 80,000 through an agent. Additionally, you plan to invest Rs 20,000 per month in SIPs, focusing on small and mid-cap funds.

Your choice of small and mid-cap funds aligns well with your long-term horizon and risk appetite at 24 years old.

Investment Platforms: Evaluation

ET Money for SIP:

Pros:

Easy to use and set up SIPs.

Convenient for managing multiple investments.

Cons:

Lacks personalized advice from Certified Financial Planners.

Limited support for complex financial planning.

Zerodha for SGB:

Pros:

Simple and cost-effective for buying SGBs.

Good for long-term holding.

Cons:

May not provide personalized investment advice.

Limited customer support for investment queries.

Advantages of Investing through an MFD

Personalized Advice: Tailored to your financial goals and risk profile.

Regular Monitoring: Helps in adjusting investments based on market conditions.

Comprehensive Planning: MFDs offer a holistic approach, including tax planning and retirement planning.

Disadvantages of Digital Platforms

Lack of Personal Touch: Limited personalized advice and support.

Complex Needs: May not cater to complex financial planning needs.

Utilizing Your Chit Fund Proceeds

You will receive Rs 2.4 lakhs from your chit fund. Here’s how you can allocate it:

SGB Investment: Consider investing Rs 1 lakh in SGB for long-term stability and returns.

Diversified Mutual Funds: Invest Rs 1.4 lakhs in diversified mutual funds through an MFD to balance risk and growth.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

An SWP can provide regular income from your mutual fund investments. It is more suitable once you have built a substantial corpus. For now, focus on growing your investments.

Final Insights

Your investment choices reflect a good start. Consider engaging with an MFD for personalized advice and comprehensive planning.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Is it worth considering a real estate investment at Panvel, Navi Mumbai? Or is it better to invest that capital in other growth instruments like MFs? I already have 2 houses, with zero debt, and I'm considering investing in Navi Mumbai, as I'm hearing that it'll grow as a corridor. Please advise.
Ans: Real Estate in Panvel, Navi Mumbai
Panvel is indeed growing.

The area shows promise as a future corridor.

You already own two houses.

You have zero debt, which is commendable.

Considerations for Real Estate Investment
Real estate investments can be illiquid.

Selling property takes time and effort.

Property values can fluctuate and may not always guarantee high returns.

Benefits of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds offer higher liquidity.

You can redeem investments easily.

They provide potential for high returns.

Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are preferred.

Fund managers work to maximize returns.

They can adapt to market changes effectively.

Diversification
Mutual funds allow for better diversification.

You can spread your risk across sectors.

This can lead to more stable returns.

Professional Management
Mutual funds are managed by experts.

Certified Financial Planners can guide you.

Regular reviews and adjustments are possible.

Final Insights
Investing in mutual funds is more flexible.

They offer better liquidity and potential returns.

Consider mutual funds over another property.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Listen
Money
If anyone want to investment planning. Please let me know like lumpsum benefits and guaranteed income I will tell you briefly
Ans: Lumpsum Investment: Benefits and Considerations

Benefits:

Potential for Higher Returns: Investing a large amount at once can yield significant returns.

Simple and Quick: One-time investment, no need for regular monitoring.

Ideal for Market Opportunities: Beneficial during market dips for higher gains.

Considerations:

Market Risk: Higher exposure to market volatility at one point.

Timing Risk: Difficult to time the market perfectly.

Liquidity: May face restrictions on withdrawing funds.

Guaranteed Income: Options and Benefits

Fixed Deposits:

Safety: Provides guaranteed returns.

Liquidity: Easy to withdraw with minimal penalties.

Predictable Income: Fixed interest rate ensures regular income.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Safe Investment: Government-backed, risk-free.

Tax Benefits: Interest earned is tax-free.

Long-Term Growth: Suitable for long-term financial goals.

Senior Citizens' Savings Scheme (SCSS):

High Safety: Government-backed, secure returns.

Regular Income: Quarterly interest payments.

Tax Benefits: Investment eligible for tax deduction.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Flexibility: Regular income from mutual funds.

Tax Efficiency: Only the gains are taxed, not the principal.

Control: Decide the withdrawal amount and frequency.

Final Insights

Combining lumpsum investments with guaranteed income options can provide growth and stability. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help align with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Listen
Money
Hi I am currently 30 years of age and I would like to ask about an investment where I'm going to make on a flat purchase of 46 Lacs with down payment of 16 Lacs along with a loan of 30 Lacs with a current salary of 50050 rupees per month... So I would like to know the loan tenure would be best suited for me to manage my savings for the future along with my daily expenditure?
Ans: Investment Strategy for Flat Purchase
Purchasing a flat can be a significant financial decision. As a Certified Financial Planner, I appreciate your initiative in seeking advice.

Assessing Your Financial Situation
You have a salary of Rs. 50,050 per month. Your down payment is Rs. 16 lakhs. You plan to take a loan of Rs. 30 lakhs. It's crucial to balance your loan repayment with your daily expenses and savings.

Evaluating Loan Tenure
For your situation, a longer loan tenure can lower your EMI. This means more manageable monthly payments. However, this will increase the total interest paid over the loan period. A shorter loan tenure will result in higher EMIs but lower total interest.

Balancing Savings and Expenses
With your monthly salary, aim to keep your EMIs around 30-40% of your income. This ensures you have enough for daily expenses and savings. For a loan of Rs. 30 lakhs, consider a tenure of 20 years. This will make your EMIs more affordable.

Planning for Future Savings
Allocate funds for emergency savings, retirement planning, and other goals. Ensure you have at least six months of expenses saved for emergencies. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan.

Final Insights
Balancing a home loan with savings and expenses requires careful planning. Choose a loan tenure that suits your monthly cash flow. Keep your long-term financial goals in mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi sir, I am aging 37 years. I have built house in my native and its present value is Rs 45 lakh. With housing loan of Rs 9 lakh and getting only 6k rent. As I am working in corporate company in Blore. And no plans to go back to my native for next 10 years. So plz guide me shall i sell this house and invest elsewhere. If yes. Plz guide me which is the best option for long term means for next 10 years investment. Thank u .
Ans: Current Situation Analysis

Your house in your native place is valued at Rs 45 lakh, with a housing loan of Rs 9 lakh. The rental income of Rs 6,000 per month may not be sufficient to justify holding the property if you are not planning to return in the next 10 years.

Evaluating the Options

Selling the House: Pros and Cons

Pros:

You can clear the housing loan of Rs 9 lakh.

You can invest the proceeds in higher-return assets.

Eliminates the hassle of managing a rental property.

Cons:

You may lose potential appreciation in property value.

Emotional attachment to the property.

Investment Options for Long Term

1. Mutual Funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: Suitable for long-term growth. Diversify across sectors and companies.

Hybrid Mutual Funds: Mix of equity and debt. Provides balanced growth with some stability.

2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Safe and tax-efficient.

Offers decent returns over the long term.

3. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

Regular, disciplined investment in mutual funds.

Beneficial for averaging out market volatility.

4. Debt Mutual Funds:

For stability and regular income.

Less risky compared to equity mutual funds.

Final Insights

Selling the house and clearing the loan can free up capital for more productive investments. Diversifying into mutual funds, PPF, and SIPs can provide balanced growth and stability over the next 10 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I am earning 1.2 lakh per month. Age 29 unmarried, Money for marriage is adjusted.I have a house and planning to buy another one probably 1cr . An lic policy of yearly premium of 25k. My savings are 5 lakhs. As of now I can invest 40k per month. I want liquid corpus of 1cr by age 50 and children education planning.
Ans: Monthly Income and Savings
You earn Rs. 1.2 lakh per month.

You save Rs. 40,000 per month.

You have Rs. 5 lakhs in savings.

Your LIC policy has a yearly premium of Rs. 25,000.

Investment Goals
You want Rs. 1 crore by age 50.

You plan for your children's education.

You plan to buy a house worth Rs. 1 crore.

Investment Strategy
Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds.

Focus on actively managed funds for better returns.

Consider SIPs for regular investments.

Liquid Corpus Goal
Aim for a diversified portfolio.

Allocate funds to equity for growth.

Include debt funds for stability.

Children's Education Planning
Start early to benefit from compounding.

Invest in children's plans and education funds.

Review and adjust the portfolio regularly.

House Purchase Plan
Ensure your investments align with your house purchase goal.

Keep your house purchase timeline in mind.

Insurance and Savings
Review your LIC policy for adequacy.

Consider additional term insurance if needed.

Professional Guidance
A Certified Financial Planner can help optimize your plan.

Regularly review your portfolio with your planner.

Final Insights
Maintain a disciplined investment approach.

Regularly review and adjust your goals.

Seek professional advice when needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x