Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Kapil Question by Kapil on Apr 28, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

we are married since 7 years, but we are fighting on very little issues. she dont hv any respect for me, i am simple and good but it seems she wanted some very smart and rich guy as compare to me, what should i do.

Ans: It's concerning to hear that you and your wife are fighting frequently and that she does not have respect for you. It's important to address these issues before they escalate and cause further damage to your relationship.

One option is to consider couples therapy or marriage counseling. A trained therapist can help you both identify the root causes of your conflicts, improve communication, and develop strategies for resolving issues in a constructive and respectful way.

It's also important to have open and honest conversations with your wife about how you're feeling and what you would like to see change in your relationship. Try to approach these conversations in a non-confrontational way, using "I" statements instead of blaming or attacking language. For example, instead of saying "You never respect me," try saying "I feel disrespected when you speak to me that way."

If your wife is not receptive to therapy or open communication, it may be necessary to reassess the future of your relationship. Remember, it's important to be in a relationship where both partners feel valued, respected, and loved.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Listen
Relationship
I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Mam, I am 45 year old IT professional, I have good salary and owning 3 flats. My wife is also working and she also having descent salary. I am having family of 4, Me, wife, daughter 11 years and son 8 years old. My problem here is, we are having discussion on only future and not living current life. My wife is think more about money and how to get money quickly as possible for further provisions like kids education, retirement etc. Also, She doesnt want to spend on me especilaly, never got any gift from her. We are not having good physical relation. Many times i have discussed with her and went through doctor for consultantion and medication. But, she doesnt want to take medicines.I feel very bad and my life is similar as earlier. Many times feels like she doesnt love me. My life become mechanic and no joy init. I am just living for my Kids betterment.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well no two people in a marriage are the same, are they?
You just have different ideals stemming from different value systems. this can be bridged by actually talking about it, so that either of you might not be on a extreme. If she likes to save, you can moderate her by actually setting a budget for spending on necessities and luxuries.
And she will in turn moderate you, if she finds you spending on things that are unnecessary.
It's about seeing things on the same page but with different glasses and acknowledging that you are both different.
As far as physical intimacy goes, I guess many couples face a slump after children occupying a huge part of their lives and with full-time jobs, it can make one tired more than excited. Set aside time to be alone with one another and practice the art of non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, hugging...
Sometimes to jump out of the mechanical life, you need to do something different and exciting to get a different and exciting result. So do what you haven't done before! Get the drift here?

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10240 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi. I have a monthly income of 1.5lakh. I have SIPs of around 35k monthly. The SIPs are of Nifty smallcap, nifty50index, midcap,parag parikh flexi, kotak midcap. I want to build a diversified portfolio and have an asset of 1cr in 10 years. I have a home loan emi going on which is monthly 20k now. It will increase in the coming months. Please suggest.
Ans: You are already showing strong discipline with Rs. 35,000 monthly SIPs. Starting early and staying consistent is the key to building your Rs. 1 crore goal in 10 years. Your current income and surplus allow you to plan in a structured way without putting pressure on your lifestyle.

» assessment of present portfolio
– Current SIPs are in smallcap, midcap, flexicap, and index funds.
– Smallcap and midcap funds give high growth potential but carry high volatility.
– Flexicap offers balance by letting the fund manager switch between market caps.
– Nifty 50 index gives broad market exposure but no active management flexibility.
– Index funds simply copy the market and cannot avoid downside in bad phases.
– Actively managed funds can shift allocation to protect returns during corrections.

» building a more diversified allocation
– Avoid over-concentration in smallcap and midcap segments.
– Keep largecap actively managed funds as a stability anchor.
– Maintain some exposure to debt mutual funds for safety and liquidity.
– Include an international equity fund for global diversification.
– This reduces risk from Indian market downturns and currency fluctuations.

» recommended asset split for 10-year goal
– Equity funds: 70% of monthly investment.
– Debt funds: 20% of monthly investment.
– Gold or other hedge assets: 10% of monthly investment.
– This balance offers growth, safety, and inflation protection.

» adjusting current SIP mix
– Reduce direct index fund allocation and replace with actively managed largecap or multicap funds.
– Continue with one midcap fund but avoid holding too many in the same category.
– Retain flexicap fund for dynamic market allocation.
– Keep smallcap exposure limited to 10–15% of total portfolio for high growth potential without excessive volatility.

» role of debt allocation in your case
– Debt mutual funds give stability during market falls.
– They also provide liquidity for planned expenses or emergencies.
– Over 10 years, the debt portion will be shifted towards equity in the early years, then increased again in the last 3 years for safety before withdrawal.

» impact of home loan EMI increase
– Your EMI will rise, reducing investible surplus temporarily.
– Plan in advance so you do not stop SIPs when EMI increases.
– Keep an emergency buffer equal to at least 6 months of EMI + expenses.
– This prevents you from redeeming growth investments for loan needs.

» estimating potential growth towards Rs. 1 crore
– If you invest consistently and follow a balanced allocation,
– Equity growth over 10 years can multiply invested amounts significantly.
– The debt portion will add stability and protect from market timing risks.
– Even with moderate growth assumptions, Rs. 1 crore in 10 years is realistic.

» tax planning for your investments
– Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh in a year taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG on equity: 20% tax rate.
– Debt mutual funds: taxed as per your income slab for both short and long term.
– Plan redemptions around your goal year to minimise tax liability.

» review and rebalancing
– Review portfolio performance annually.
– If one category grows beyond target allocation, rebalance to maintain risk level.
– Rebalancing avoids over-exposure to any single segment.
– In last 2–3 years before goal, gradually shift gains to debt for safety.

» safeguarding financial plan
– Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance.
– This keeps your investment plan safe even if an emergency occurs.
– Avoid stopping SIPs unless there is a severe cash flow issue.
– Continue business or salary income growth to keep surplus healthy.

» finally
You already have the right habit of disciplined SIPs. By reducing over-concentration in high-risk segments, shifting some index fund allocation to actively managed funds, and adding a planned debt portion, you can control risk while targeting Rs. 1 crore in 10 years. Staying consistent, rebalancing regularly, and protecting your plan with insurance will ensure you reach your goal confidently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x