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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
A Question by A on Nov 23, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Mam
I am a 36 year old male married for 6 years and no kids as of now.
Every time my wife quarrels and compares me with other guys, this is making me mad and feel to run away or to end it.
I do almost everything to make her happy. Kindly tell me what to do.

Ans:

Dear A,

Some people love comparing just to hurt the person.

Now why she wants to hurt you, is something that I don’t have information on. (Your mail is very brief with not much information shared).

If you do almost everything to make her happy as you have mentioned, why would she compare you with other guys?

Obviously, there is something that she feels a lack of. So instead of going mad or running away from it, can you in fact love her and care more for her?

At times, women just need a lot of care and attention, and they respond beautifully to their man.

Maybe she misses that attention from you. If you feel that’s not the case, sit down and talk frankly.

Most of the times, clear and frank communication solves most marital issues. (These are general suggestions as I don’t have much information from you to work on.)

So, communicate more, love more and care for her more.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 04, 2023

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My wife frequently quarrels with me, putting up baseless aligations on character shoutingly so much that everyone in our apartment hears it easily. This conduct of her is affecting badly my 4 year son and 12 year old daughter and badly tarnishing my social life. We are now married for last 10 years and she is always like this towards me. Please hlp as it is effecting my health. Thanks.
Ans: Dear Irfan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's behavior is not only affecting you, but also your children and social life.

It's important to communicate openly with your wife about how her behavior is affecting you and your family. You can try to have a calm and respectful conversation with her about your concerns and express how her behavior is hurting you and your children. It's important to avoid being defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation and make things worse.

If your attempts to communicate with your wife are not successful, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help you both to identify the underlying issues that are causing the conflicts and provide you with tools and strategies to improve your communication and relationship.

In the meantime, it's important to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. You can seek support from trusted friends or family members, join a support group, or consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional toll of the situation.

Remember, it's not healthy or acceptable for anyone to be subjected to baseless allegations or verbal abuse. It's important to take steps to protect yourself and your family from this behavior, whether that means seeking professional help

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 07, 2023

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Relationship
I am married person, She is house wife. But she is fighting with me daily and always suicide blackmail and compare to others. What is the solution? My thought is i want to break up this female and find new life partner, is it correct?
Ans: I understand that you're going through an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you're feeling overwhelmed and at a loss for how to deal with your spouse's behavior. It's essential to approach this situation with care and empathy.

Safety First: If your spouse is making suicide threats, please take them seriously and prioritize her safety. Reach out to professionals or hotlines immediately to ensure she gets the help she needs.
Professional Help: Both you and your spouse should consider seeking the support of a licensed therapist or counselor. The issues you're facing are undoubtedly distressing, and a professional can guide you through the process of understanding and addressing them.
Communication: It's important to have open and compassionate conversations with your spouse. Express your concerns and listen to her feelings as well. Try to create an atmosphere of understanding and support.
Support Her Mental Health: Encourage your spouse to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide a proper evaluation and treatment plan. Mental health struggles can greatly affect a person's behavior and emotions.
Consider All Options: Ending a marriage is a significant decision that should not be made impulsively. Exhaust all available options for working through your issues before considering separation or divorce.
This is a difficult and painful time for both of you, and I encourage you to seek the guidance and support of professionals who specialize in relationship counseling and mental health. Remember that your well-being and the well-being of your spouse are of utmost importance, and compassionate communication and professional help can be instrumental in finding a resolution to these complex issues.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, my wife always fights and swears at me on every small discussion, she ran away from our house 3 times after arguing. She also likes to talk to other guys after starting a fight with me and always compares me with them as she think those boys can take Good care of her while they just wanna use her, I've tried talking to her mother but the mother always supports and listens to my wife. We have 2 daughters aged 7 and 3. Please advice me on way forward because i am seriously fed up with her behaviour
Ans: Start by setting aside a calm moment to have a serious discussion with your wife about how her behavior affects you and the children. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like "I feel hurt when you compare me to other men" or "I feel stressed when our discussions turn into arguments." This approach can help her see your perspective without feeling attacked.

Next, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Explain that while you're committed to your marriage, you can't tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or harmful to the family. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, and let her know that continuous conflicts will have consequences for your relationship.

Consider seeking professional help through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate conversations, address underlying issues, and improve communication between you two. If your wife is resistant, you might still consider going alone to seek support and strategies for yourself.

When discussing her conversations with other men, emphasize your concerns for her safety and emotional well-being. Let her know that these interactions can create more significant issues in your relationship, especially with children involved. Encourage her to focus on building a strong family foundation rather than seeking validation from others.

Lastly, prioritize your daughters' well-being. Make sure they feel secure and loved, regardless of the challenges you're facing. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends or family members to help you navigate this situation.

Remember that you deserve respect and support in your relationship. If things do not improve despite your efforts, you may need to consider your options moving forward for your happiness and the well-being of your children.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8191 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2025

Money
Hi sir thnku in advance. I am 28M,working in central govt job. It has just been one year and I plan on retiring very early around a 35 years of age. I have nps tier 1 account due to the job. I just have one query since I don't plan on marrying and I am alone with my own home. My expenses are max 18k per month. I hardly travel and live a very frugal life. So my query if I resign at 35 years then will 50 lakhs will sustain me for 15 years keeping in mind the inflation and my return as 7% on an average.
Ans: Your question shows rare clarity at a young age. You are just 28. But you already have a defined vision to retire by 35. That is highly appreciable. Many at this age are still unsure of financial direction.

Let us now assess your question in detail.

You asked whether Rs 50 lakhs will last 15 years, post retirement at 35.

Let us evaluate your financial journey from all angles.

Understanding Your Present Situation

You work in a central government job. That offers job security. And also an NPS Tier 1 account.

You live frugally. Your monthly expense is only Rs 18,000. That is extremely disciplined.

You have your own home. So no rent or EMI outgo. This reduces your future cost burden.

You do not plan to marry. So your financial responsibilities are only for yourself.

You plan to retire at 35. That means only 7 more years of active income.

After 35, you want Rs 50 lakhs corpus to sustain you for 15 years.

That means till age 50, you want to live from this corpus.

Now let us move step-by-step to assess sustainability.

Assessing Expense Inflation Over Time

Right now, your expense is Rs 18,000 per month.

Even a frugal person cannot avoid inflation.

Prices of food, electricity, health, etc. will go up.

Inflation over 15 years cannot be ignored.

Even if inflation is modest, say 6%, your expense will rise gradually.

By year 10 or 15, your Rs 18,000 monthly expense may double.

That will need a higher withdrawal from your corpus.

So corpus sustainability depends on how inflation is planned for.

Evaluating Return Assumption

You assume 7% average return on corpus.

This is realistic if money is well invested.

You must avoid only FDs or savings accounts.

To get 7% post-tax, proper asset allocation is needed.

Mutual funds can help here.

Especially, actively managed funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid index funds. They just copy the index.

Index funds do not give downside protection in bear markets.

They also underperform during volatile sideways markets.

Index funds have no fund manager taking active decisions.

Whereas actively managed funds adapt to market cycles.

A qualified CFP can help select suitable active funds.

Regular plans through a CFP give ongoing guidance.

Direct funds may look cheaper, but lack this support.

Direct funds are like self-medication. Risky without expert view.

Regular plans have a small fee, but offer long-term peace.

Corpus Withdrawal Planning

Your Rs 50 lakh must support monthly cash flow.

Even if you start withdrawing Rs 18,000 monthly, over time it will increase.

You need a withdrawal strategy.

You can follow a staggered withdrawal.

That means only taking what is needed each year.

Rest of the money keeps earning.

It also helps reduce tax burden.

But you must track how much you withdraw each year.

And ensure it grows in line with inflation.

If not planned well, corpus may finish earlier.

So withdrawal plan should be dynamic, not fixed.

A Certified Financial Planner can help prepare such a roadmap.

Emergency and Health Preparedness

You are alone. That means no support system in emergencies.

You must keep some contingency fund aside.

At least 12 months of expenses, i.e., about Rs 2.5 lakhs.

This should be liquid. Like in sweep-in FDs or ultra-short debt funds.

Also, ensure you have a strong health insurance policy.

Healthcare cost rises faster than inflation.

Even a single surgery or hospitalisation can dent your corpus.

Do not rely on employer health cover post resignation.

Buy your own health insurance before retirement.

Choose Rs 20–30 lakh cover. Preferably with a super top-up.

Keep paying its premium from a separate health corpus if needed.

If you stay healthy and insurance unused, that is a blessing.

But if not, it will safeguard your financial independence.

Psychological Readiness for Early Retirement

Financial numbers are only part of the journey.

Are you ready for non-financial changes post-retirement?

How will you keep yourself engaged from age 35 to 50?

No daily job, no team, no deadlines. That may feel strange.

Mental health and social belonging are also essential.

Plan for what you will do post retirement.

Hobbies, part-time work, teaching, or creative work.

Something that gives meaning to your day.

Else early retirement may feel empty after some years.

Personal fulfilment is important, not just financial planning.

Tax Implication of Your Investments

Returns from equity mutual funds have a new rule.

Long-term capital gain (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

This affects how you redeem funds.

Withdraw strategically to reduce tax.

Do not withdraw large amounts in one go unless needed.

Spread withdrawals over financial years.

Plan investments so equity and debt are balanced.

This helps with tax and market stability.

NPS Tier 1 – How It Helps

You already have NPS Tier 1 account.

You can continue it even after quitting job.

But withdrawals are restricted before age 60.

You can withdraw only 20% before 60 if not annuitised.

So it may not be useful for your 35–50 needs.

But it can be your backup after 60.

So continue it. Don’t touch now.

Let it grow. It adds to your retirement safety.

It cannot be your main retirement plan for early years.

How You Should Build Rs 50 Lakh Corpus

You have 7 years left to save.

That is a short horizon for such a big goal.

You must save aggressively now.

Keep lifestyle minimal, as you already are doing.

Avoid unnecessary gadgets, dining, or gadgets.

Every rupee saved now compounds for your future.

Invest in a well-planned mutual fund portfolio.

Include large cap, mid cap, and flexi cap funds.

Avoid thematic or sectoral funds. Too risky for main corpus.

Also add short-duration debt funds for stability.

Review this plan once a year with your CFP.

Increase SIPs with each salary hike.

Also allocate your yearly bonus fully into investments.

Rs 50 lakh target is tough but possible with discipline.

Asset Allocation Approach

Corpus should not be 100% in equity or 100% in debt.

A balanced approach is better.

Early years of retirement can bear some equity.

Later years should gradually shift to debt.

This is called glide path strategy.

Helps avoid sequence of returns risk.

If market crashes in year 1 or 2, your corpus shrinks fast.

So first 3 years’ expenses should be in debt.

Remaining in equity-debt mix as per risk profile.

Rebalancing is important each year.

Do not ignore this step.

It controls risk and improves return consistency.

Finally

Rs 50 lakhs can last for 15 years if:

You invest it wisely.

Withdraw in a disciplined way.

Factor in inflation, taxes, and health cost.

Keep emergency corpus aside.

Stay insured for health and critical illness.

Engage yourself meaningfully post-retirement.

Review your plan annually with a Certified Financial Planner.

Early retirement is not a one-time plan.

It is a living strategy that needs updates.

You are on the right path.

Stay focused. Stay simple.

And always seek guidance when needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8191 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi
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Money
I can invest Rs 10,000 every month for 10 years. Kindly suggest investing options -- where should I invest? How much wealth can I create after 10 years?
Ans: Investing Rs 10,000 per month for 10 years is a great decision. It will help you build substantial wealth over time. Here’s a detailed assessment of the best investment options and the potential returns you can expect.

Investment Options for Rs 10,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Actively Managed)
Suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Professional fund managers make investment decisions.

Offers better flexibility compared to direct stock investment.

Can generate high returns over a 10-year period.

Ideal for those who can take moderate to high risk.

2. Debt Mutual Funds
Provides stability to your portfolio.

Lower risk compared to equity mutual funds.

Useful for balancing risk and return.

Returns are better than FDs over a long period.

3. Hybrid Mutual Funds
Invests in both equity and debt.

Suitable for investors looking for stability with some growth.

Balances market volatility better than pure equity funds.

4. Gold Investment (Sovereign Gold Bonds - SGBs)
Offers capital appreciation and fixed interest income.

Safe investment backed by the Government of India.

Can act as a hedge against inflation.

5. Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Tax-free returns.

Provides capital protection.

Best for those looking for safe and guaranteed returns.

Lock-in period of 15 years, but partial withdrawals allowed after 5 years.

6. National Pension System (NPS)
Ideal for retirement savings.

Provides tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD.

Investment mix of equity, corporate bonds, and government securities.

Partial withdrawal allowed after a few years.

Suggested Investment Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds: Rs 6,000 per month

Debt Mutual Funds: Rs 2,000 per month

Gold (SGBs): Rs 1,000 per month

PPF: Rs 1,000 per month

This diversified approach helps reduce risk and maximize returns.

Expected Wealth Creation After 10 Years
The wealth you create depends on returns from different assets. Here’s an estimate:

Equity Mutual Funds: Can generate higher returns over 10 years.

Debt Mutual Funds: Provides stability with moderate returns.

Gold (SGBs): Prices depend on market demand and inflation.

PPF: Offers safe and steady returns.

You can expect to build a significant corpus by following this plan.

Why Not Index Funds?
Index funds do not offer active management.

They simply track market movements without strategy.

Actively managed mutual funds can beat index funds over time.

Fund managers adjust portfolios based on market conditions.

Higher potential for wealth creation with actively managed funds.

Final Insights
A mix of equity, debt, gold, and PPF creates a balanced portfolio.

Stay invested for 10 years to benefit from compounding.

Review your investments every year.

Consider increasing your SIP amount whenever possible.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner for better guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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