Hi Mam
I am a 36 year old male married for 6 years and no kids as of now.
Every time my wife quarrels and compares me with other guys, this is making me mad and feel to run away or to end it.
I do almost everything to make her happy. Kindly tell me what to do.

Ans: Dear Irfan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's behavior is not only affecting you, but also your children and social life.

It's important to communicate openly with your wife about how her behavior is affecting you and your family. You can try to have a calm and respectful conversation with her about your concerns and express how her behavior is hurting you and your children. It's important to avoid being defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation and make things worse.

If your attempts to communicate with your wife are not successful, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help you both to identify the underlying issues that are causing the conflicts and provide you with tools and strategies to improve your communication and relationship.

In the meantime, it's important to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. You can seek support from trusted friends or family members, join a support group, or consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional toll of the situation.

Remember, it's not healthy or acceptable for anyone to be subjected to baseless allegations or verbal abuse. It's important to take steps to protect yourself and your family from this behavior, whether that means seeking professional help

Ans: I understand that you're going through an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you're feeling overwhelmed and at a loss for how to deal with your spouse's behavior. It's essential to approach this situation with care and empathy.

Safety First: If your spouse is making suicide threats, please take them seriously and prioritize her safety. Reach out to professionals or hotlines immediately to ensure she gets the help she needs.
Professional Help: Both you and your spouse should consider seeking the support of a licensed therapist or counselor. The issues you're facing are undoubtedly distressing, and a professional can guide you through the process of understanding and addressing them.
Communication: It's important to have open and compassionate conversations with your spouse. Express your concerns and listen to her feelings as well. Try to create an atmosphere of understanding and support.
Support Her Mental Health: Encourage your spouse to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide a proper evaluation and treatment plan. Mental health struggles can greatly affect a person's behavior and emotions.
Consider All Options: Ending a marriage is a significant decision that should not be made impulsively. Exhaust all available options for working through your issues before considering separation or divorce.
This is a difficult and painful time for both of you, and I encourage you to seek the guidance and support of professionals who specialize in relationship counseling and mental health. Remember that your well-being and the well-being of your spouse are of utmost importance, and compassionate communication and professional help can be instrumental in finding a resolution to these complex issues.

Ans: Dear Aslam,
I am not going to justify why your wife has anger issues; but she does have something unresolved for her to have 'hot temper'. Maybe it will help if the two of you involve a third person (someone neutral) to help the two of you bridge this challenge. It can be someone within the family or a friend or a professional who can be neutral and guide the two of you to communicate better.
Simple building of communication wherein both of you can express your needs in a calm manner can help rebuild your marriage.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Savendra,
I am sure this can throw you off balance when you don't understand the reason as to what is it that makes her upset. It is possible that she is at that age where her hormones are all over the place and this can cause mood related changes. Kindly visit a doctor who will be able to advice further on this.
As a couple, I would suggest spending more time together on holidays or date nights...you are never old to party or go on dates or simply catch up a cup of coffee together. This makes your bond stronger and newer as well.
Sometimes emotional challenges or lack of closeness can show up as anger or sadness...
Try newer ways of connecting...it will surely help you two get closer!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Start by setting aside a calm moment to have a serious discussion with your wife about how her behavior affects you and the children. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like "I feel hurt when you compare me to other men" or "I feel stressed when our discussions turn into arguments." This approach can help her see your perspective without feeling attacked.

Next, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Explain that while you're committed to your marriage, you can't tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or harmful to the family. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, and let her know that continuous conflicts will have consequences for your relationship.

Consider seeking professional help through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate conversations, address underlying issues, and improve communication between you two. If your wife is resistant, you might still consider going alone to seek support and strategies for yourself.

When discussing her conversations with other men, emphasize your concerns for her safety and emotional well-being. Let her know that these interactions can create more significant issues in your relationship, especially with children involved. Encourage her to focus on building a strong family foundation rather than seeking validation from others.

Lastly, prioritize your daughters' well-being. Make sure they feel secure and loved, regardless of the challenges you're facing. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends or family members to help you navigate this situation.

Remember that you deserve respect and support in your relationship. If things do not improve despite your efforts, you may need to consider your options moving forward for your happiness and the well-being of your children.