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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1424 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 23, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
A Question by A on Nov 23, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Mam
I am a 36 year old male married for 6 years and no kids as of now.
Every time my wife quarrels and compares me with other guys, this is making me mad and feel to run away or to end it.
I do almost everything to make her happy. Kindly tell me what to do.

Ans:

Dear A,

Some people love comparing just to hurt the person.

Now why she wants to hurt you, is something that I don’t have information on. (Your mail is very brief with not much information shared).

If you do almost everything to make her happy as you have mentioned, why would she compare you with other guys?

Obviously, there is something that she feels a lack of. So instead of going mad or running away from it, can you in fact love her and care more for her?

At times, women just need a lot of care and attention, and they respond beautifully to their man.

Maybe she misses that attention from you. If you feel that’s not the case, sit down and talk frankly.

Most of the times, clear and frank communication solves most marital issues. (These are general suggestions as I don’t have much information from you to work on.)

So, communicate more, love more and care for her more.

All the best!

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My wife frequently quarrels with me, putting up baseless aligations on character shoutingly so much that everyone in our apartment hears it easily. This conduct of her is affecting badly my 4 year son and 12 year old daughter and badly tarnishing my social life. We are now married for last 10 years and she is always like this towards me. Please hlp as it is effecting my health. Thanks.
Ans: Dear Irfan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's behavior is not only affecting you, but also your children and social life.

It's important to communicate openly with your wife about how her behavior is affecting you and your family. You can try to have a calm and respectful conversation with her about your concerns and express how her behavior is hurting you and your children. It's important to avoid being defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation and make things worse.

If your attempts to communicate with your wife are not successful, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help you both to identify the underlying issues that are causing the conflicts and provide you with tools and strategies to improve your communication and relationship.

In the meantime, it's important to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. You can seek support from trusted friends or family members, join a support group, or consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional toll of the situation.

Remember, it's not healthy or acceptable for anyone to be subjected to baseless allegations or verbal abuse. It's important to take steps to protect yourself and your family from this behavior, whether that means seeking professional help

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I am married person, She is house wife. But she is fighting with me daily and always suicide blackmail and compare to others. What is the solution? My thought is i want to break up this female and find new life partner, is it correct?
Ans: I understand that you're going through an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing situation. It's clear that you're feeling overwhelmed and at a loss for how to deal with your spouse's behavior. It's essential to approach this situation with care and empathy.

Safety First: If your spouse is making suicide threats, please take them seriously and prioritize her safety. Reach out to professionals or hotlines immediately to ensure she gets the help she needs.
Professional Help: Both you and your spouse should consider seeking the support of a licensed therapist or counselor. The issues you're facing are undoubtedly distressing, and a professional can guide you through the process of understanding and addressing them.
Communication: It's important to have open and compassionate conversations with your spouse. Express your concerns and listen to her feelings as well. Try to create an atmosphere of understanding and support.
Support Her Mental Health: Encourage your spouse to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide a proper evaluation and treatment plan. Mental health struggles can greatly affect a person's behavior and emotions.
Consider All Options: Ending a marriage is a significant decision that should not be made impulsively. Exhaust all available options for working through your issues before considering separation or divorce.
This is a difficult and painful time for both of you, and I encourage you to seek the guidance and support of professionals who specialize in relationship counseling and mental health. Remember that your well-being and the well-being of your spouse are of utmost importance, and compassionate communication and professional help can be instrumental in finding a resolution to these complex issues.

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my wife always fights and swears at me on every small discussion, she ran away from our house 3 times after arguing. She also likes to talk to other guys after starting a fight with me and always compares me with them as she think those boys can take Good care of her while they just wanna use her, I've tried talking to her mother but the mother always supports and listens to my wife. We have 2 daughters aged 7 and 3. Please advice me on way forward because i am seriously fed up with her behaviour
Ans: Start by setting aside a calm moment to have a serious discussion with your wife about how her behavior affects you and the children. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like "I feel hurt when you compare me to other men" or "I feel stressed when our discussions turn into arguments." This approach can help her see your perspective without feeling attacked.

Next, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Explain that while you're committed to your marriage, you can't tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or harmful to the family. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, and let her know that continuous conflicts will have consequences for your relationship.

Consider seeking professional help through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate conversations, address underlying issues, and improve communication between you two. If your wife is resistant, you might still consider going alone to seek support and strategies for yourself.

When discussing her conversations with other men, emphasize your concerns for her safety and emotional well-being. Let her know that these interactions can create more significant issues in your relationship, especially with children involved. Encourage her to focus on building a strong family foundation rather than seeking validation from others.

Lastly, prioritize your daughters' well-being. Make sure they feel secure and loved, regardless of the challenges you're facing. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends or family members to help you navigate this situation.

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

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Which overseas country MBBS will be better in-terms of quality education with reasonable fees (less than 50Lacs) for Indian students who may practice in india after FNG test?
Ans: Before the introduction of NEET, the scenario for admission to medical colleges was quite different. Many candidates aspiring to study medicine who did not achieve sufficient marks in their HSC (Higher Secondary Certificate) chose to pursue their education abroad. However, with NEET in place, numerous opportunities are now available in India.

The medical admission process in India has become more standardized, so there is no longer a need to seek alternatives overseas. In this context, I strongly suggest that pursuing an MBBS in India is preferable rather than from other countries. It is important to understand that candidates must clear NEET for both admission and graduation.

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Two years ago, I met someone, at a workplace inclusion workshop in Mumbai. He identified himself as a transgender man, We clicked instantly, and our friendship turned into a romantic relationship over time. He is incredibly supportive, kind, and ambitious. I admire him deeply because he has faced many struggles to be where he is today. My parents found out about him recently, and the backlash has been immense. They’ve threatened to disown me, saying I’m bringing shame to the family. They’re pushing me to break up with him and marry someone 'normal.' The societal pressure, whispers from neighbours, and even judgment from some colleagues are making things unbearable. I love him but I also feel torn between my family, cultural expectations, and my happiness. What should I do?
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7438 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Money
Hello Sir, I am 44 years old man. I want to start SIP for my children, 6.5 years old daughter and 2.5 years old son. The objective is to secure their future and the funds can be used when they want to go for graduation/higher studies. I have shortlisted the following funds, please let me know if you recommend any changes. Thank you! 1-UTI Nifty50 Index Direct: Rs.2000 2-ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund: Rs.2000 3-Canara Robeco Bluechip Equity Fund: Rs.2000 4-ICICI Prudential Value Discovery Fund: Rs.3000 5-Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Rs.2000 6-ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund: Rs.3000 7-Quant Active Find: Rs.3000 8-SBI Contra Fund: Rs.3000 9-Nippon India small cap fund: Rs.3000 10-Nippon India ETF Gold BeES: Rs.2000
Ans: Creating a portfolio for your children’s future is a thoughtful and responsible step. Ensuring the right mix of funds can maximise returns, manage risks, and help achieve your financial goals effectively. Below is an evaluation of your selected portfolio, along with recommendations to streamline and optimise it.

Evaluating Your Portfolio
1. Too Many Funds
You have selected 10 funds, which might lead to over-diversification.
Over-diversification can dilute returns and make tracking difficult.
2. Balanced Allocation Missing
There’s a heavy tilt towards equity with insufficient diversification across asset classes.
Adding a debt component can provide stability and reduce volatility.
3. Index Funds
UTI Nifty50 Index Fund and ICICI Prudential Nifty Next 50 Index Fund:
Index funds lack flexibility and cannot outperform during bear markets.
Actively managed funds might be better for your long-term goals.
4. Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Exposure
Nippon India Small Cap Fund:
High risk but high return potential.
Retain for diversification but limit exposure to 10%-15% of your total investments.
5. Thematic and Contra Funds
SBI Contra Fund and Quant Active Fund:
Thematic and contra funds have niche strategies, making them riskier.
Retain only one if aligned with your risk appetite.
6. Gold ETF
Nippon India ETF Gold BeES:
Adds diversification and inflation protection.
However, limit allocation to 5%-10% of your portfolio.
Recommended Portfolio for Your Goals
1. Core Equity Allocation (60%-70%)
Focus on funds that provide long-term stability and growth.

Large-Cap Funds: Replace index funds with actively managed large-cap funds for better returns.
Flexi-Cap Funds: Retain Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund for its global diversification and balanced approach.
Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: Retain one small-cap fund (Nippon India Small Cap Fund) for growth potential.
2. Hybrid Funds (20%-25%)
Include hybrid funds to balance equity and debt.

Retain ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund for stability and moderate returns.
3. Gold (5%-10%)
Continue investing in Nippon India ETF Gold BeES for diversification.

Proposed Allocation
To streamline your portfolio, allocate investments more strategically:

Large-Cap Equity Fund: Invest Rs. 4,000 monthly in a strong actively managed large-cap fund like Canara Robeco Bluechip Equity Fund. Large-cap funds provide stability and consistent growth for long-term goals.

Flexi-Cap Fund: Continue investing Rs. 4,000 monthly in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund. This fund offers global diversification and a balanced approach to equity exposure.

Small-Cap Fund: Retain Nippon India Small Cap Fund and allocate Rs. 3,000 monthly. Small-cap funds add high-growth potential but keep the exposure minimal to manage risk.

Hybrid Fund: Allocate Rs. 5,000 monthly to ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund. This hybrid fund balances equity and debt exposure, providing stability with moderate growth.

Gold ETF: Continue Rs. 2,000 monthly in Nippon India ETF Gold BeES. Gold adds a hedge against inflation and enhances portfolio diversification.

Additional Recommendations
1. Debt Component for Stability
Consider short-term debt funds or liquid funds for low-risk capital appreciation.
These can be used for nearer-term educational needs like school fees.
2. Gradual SIP Increases
Increase SIPs by 10%-15% annually as your income grows.
This ensures your investments grow in tandem with inflation.
3. Portfolio Review and Rebalancing
Review your portfolio annually to evaluate performance.
Rebalance if any fund consistently underperforms for over 2-3 years.
4. Tax Planning
Retain an ELSS tax-saving fund to maximise tax benefits under Section 80C.
Final Insights
Your disciplined approach to securing your children's education is commendable. This revised portfolio offers a balanced mix of growth and stability. It ensures you can meet future education milestones confidently. Stay consistent, increase contributions periodically, and monitor performance regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7438 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 04, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have 60 lakhs inr as retirement money.Where to invest to generate an income of 40000-50000 plus appreciate the capital and im what ratio to invest to save the capital in case of a rainy day?
Ans: To generate a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 to Rs. 50,000 while preserving and appreciating your retirement corpus of Rs. 60 lakhs, it is crucial to follow a balanced and diversified investment strategy. Here's a comprehensive plan that balances income generation, capital appreciation, and safety for rainy-day needs:

Investment Allocation for Income and Capital Growth
1. Fixed Income Instruments (30%-40%)
Objective: Stable monthly income and capital protection.

Options:

Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS): If you are 60+, invest up to Rs. 30 lakhs for quarterly payouts.
Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS): Offers reliable monthly income with low risk.
Bank Fixed Deposits (FD): Choose deposits with monthly interest payouts for stable cash flow.
Debt Mutual Funds: Consider high-quality short-term or dynamic bond funds for better tax efficiency and returns.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 20-25 lakhs.

2. Equity Mutual Funds (40%-50%)
Objective: Long-term capital appreciation to counter inflation.

Options:

Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs): Dynamically allocate between equity and debt for moderate risk.
Large Cap Funds: Focus on blue-chip companies for stability.
Multi-Cap Funds: Provide diversified exposure to large, mid, and small caps.
Approach: Start a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from equity funds after 3 years for tax-efficient income.

Approximate Allocation: Rs. 25-30 lakhs.

3. Emergency Fund (10%-15%)
Objective: Cover unforeseen expenses or emergencies.

Options:

Keep 6-12 months’ expenses in liquid funds or high-interest savings accounts.
Use short-term FDs or sweep accounts for easy access to funds.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 6-9 lakhs.

4. Alternative Investment (Optional - 5%-10%)
Objective: Enhance portfolio diversification.

Options:

Gold ETFs/Sovereign Gold Bonds: Hedge against inflation and economic uncertainty.
Corporate Bonds or Non-Convertible Debentures (NCDs): Ensure AAA-rated for safety.
Approximate Allocation: Rs. 3-5 lakhs.

Monthly Income Strategy
Fixed Income Source: Use interest from SCSS, POMIS, and FDs for regular monthly cash flow.
Equity SWP: Start withdrawing Rs. 15,000-20,000 monthly after 3 years. This ensures tax efficiency and steady income.
Rainy-Day Protection
Maintain a liquid fund with Rs. 6-9 lakhs for quick access during emergencies.

Avoid locking too much in illiquid instruments like long-term FDs or property.

Points to Remember
Rebalance Annually: Review and adjust allocation to align with market conditions.
Tax Efficiency: Debt instruments like SCSS and POMIS are taxable. Equity funds offer LTCG tax benefits.
Inflation Adjustment: Reinvest surplus income to ensure your corpus grows with inflation.
Final Insights
A balanced mix of fixed income and equity can provide regular income and capital growth. Prioritise liquidity for emergencies while optimising tax efficiency. This approach ensures financial independence throughout retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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