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Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My wife doesn't respect me at all. She scolds me for no reason. She is always silent without any smile on her face. What should I do. It is impacting my personal life and mental balance

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Possible that the two of you have forgotten the joys of what can and togetherness can bring in?
Maybe you can try and recreate the moments of happiness and lighter moments and live them all over again. It takes one small reason to smile and be happy all over again BUT there must be an effort in that direction.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 41 year old married man with two sons and I make a decent living. Since few months my relationship with my wife has deteriorated significantly with no apparent reason other then finance. She is always trying to find a fault with me and as soon as she does, she just starts scolding me. I tried hard not to give her a reason to scold me, but that's making her even more frustrated as she creates even more drama when she finds a smallest of a fault which may not be necessarily mine but of my kids. She wont allow me to touch. She wont talk to me, she has this strange anger in her tone whenever she says few things to me. I am even taking her to a Foreign trip this march and we did quiet expensive trip last summer. I dont know what to do? I have tried to sit with her and talk. But no success
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like you're trying hard to make things work, including taking your wife on trips to strengthen your relationship. It's positive that you've tried to sit and talk with her, even though it hasn't been successful so far.Communication is key in any relationship, so it's important to keep trying to have open and honest conversations with your wife. Perhaps you could suggest couples counseling as a way to facilitate these discussions in a more structured setting. A counselor could help both of you understand each other's perspectives and find constructive ways to address your issues. Going on trips is great, but also focus on spending quality time together in everyday life. Find activities you both enjoy and make time for each other. Ultimately, it will take effort from both you and your wife to improve your relationship. It may also be beneficial to explore the underlying reasons for the tension, such as financial stress, and work together to find solutions that address both of your needs and concerns.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, i am 43 year male with 2kids....married from last 13yrs. My wife is very good in house work and take care of my kids...she loves me alot but mostly she show us like she is doing us a favour by doing all this and many times stop talking and behave like she doesnt care about anyone....if i ask something she reply rudely. I am fedup of all this behaviour...i do my maximum efforts to make her happy but cant understand what is the issue with her....if i talk about her behaviour then she blames me fot everything...i wants to be happy with my family...pls suggess.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like despite your wife’s efforts in taking care of the household and the children, her behavior is causing significant stress for you.

Your wife's actions might be influenced by feeling overwhelmed or unappreciated. Managing the home and caring for the kids can be exhausting, and she might feel like her efforts go unnoticed. This can lead to frustration and the impression that she's doing everything as a favor, resulting in her becoming distant or irritable.

Try to talk with her during a calm moment, expressing your concerns without placing blame. You might say, "I've noticed you seem stressed lately. I want to understand how you're feeling and see how I can help." Listening to her and showing appreciation for her work can help alleviate some of her stress and improve your connection.

If these conversations don't lead to improvement, consider seeking help from a professional counselor. They can facilitate better communication and help both of you address deeper issues.

Your goal is a happy and supportive family environment. Working together with empathy and understanding can help you both move towards a more fulfilling relationship. If you continue to struggle, don't hesitate to reach out for support from professionals or loved ones. Your effort and commitment are crucial steps toward finding a solution.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, my wife always fights and swears at me on every small discussion, she ran away from our house 3 times after arguing. She also likes to talk to other guys after starting a fight with me and always compares me with them as she think those boys can take Good care of her while they just wanna use her, I've tried talking to her mother but the mother always supports and listens to my wife. We have 2 daughters aged 7 and 3. Please advice me on way forward because i am seriously fed up with her behaviour
Ans: Start by setting aside a calm moment to have a serious discussion with your wife about how her behavior affects you and the children. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like "I feel hurt when you compare me to other men" or "I feel stressed when our discussions turn into arguments." This approach can help her see your perspective without feeling attacked.

Next, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Explain that while you're committed to your marriage, you can't tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or harmful to the family. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, and let her know that continuous conflicts will have consequences for your relationship.

Consider seeking professional help through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate conversations, address underlying issues, and improve communication between you two. If your wife is resistant, you might still consider going alone to seek support and strategies for yourself.

When discussing her conversations with other men, emphasize your concerns for her safety and emotional well-being. Let her know that these interactions can create more significant issues in your relationship, especially with children involved. Encourage her to focus on building a strong family foundation rather than seeking validation from others.

Lastly, prioritize your daughters' well-being. Make sure they feel secure and loved, regardless of the challenges you're facing. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends or family members to help you navigate this situation.

Remember that you deserve respect and support in your relationship. If things do not improve despite your efforts, you may need to consider your options moving forward for your happiness and the well-being of your children.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We had been Dating since our College days & had a Love Marriage almost 2 Decades ago. My Wife had always been the Dominant one in the Relationship, while I had always been Soft-spoken. She is also much more Capable than me, in terms of Academic as well as Professional Competence, and also very Ambitious. These are some of the Qualities which I always admired in her. Over the years of our Marriage, I had to Compromise on my own Professional Growth, in order to support her Professional Growth. She has a Transferable Job, so I have taken up a Work-from-Home Job which pays much lesser, but allows more flexibility in timings, just to support her Professional Growth, I had given up much better opportunities. I have been literally living like a Stay-at-Home Husband, doing almost all the Household chores & also taking care of both our Children. I have no complaints about any of this, I am doing all this, just because I Love my Wife. My Wife too Loves me a lot, but doesn't seem to Respect me. She feels ashamed to introduce me to her Colleagues in her Office Parties. She often puts me down, in the presence of her Friends & Relatives. She asks others (her Friends, Colleagues & Relatives) for advice, even in matters relating to our Personal Life & gives more importance to their Opinions, compared to mine & has taken several big Decisions, without my Consent/Agreement. She doesn't bother telling me anything about her whereabouts & her Finances. While at Home, she Orders me around like a Boss & talks to me in a Condescending manner. Seeing her attitude, even our Servant Maid, Driver, Watchman & our Teenaged Children also don't treat me with due Respect. Our Neighbours, laugh at me behind my back. I have been Tolerating all this since many Years only because I Love my Wife so much. Many times, I tried to convey my concerns to her but she used to invalidate my feelings, labelling them as my 'Insecurity' or 'Male Ego' even though I never had either of those. She seems to have more time for her Partying with her Colleagues & Friends, rather than having a Productive Discussion with me about my Feelings. Now I am feeling Saturated. I need to do something to Earn Respect from my Wife, Children & the Society as I have realised that my Wife is not up for anything like Couples Counseling & I wouldn't be able to discuss my Feelings with anyone else (almost everyone I know, Respects her more than me). Please give me some Suggestions as to what can I do to become more Respectable in the Eyes of my Wife, Children & our Social Circle?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My wife and I are married since 2009 and have 2 kids. From last 5 years, I have observed that my wife doesn't listen to me at all. It is like my presence is not important for her. My words, thoughts, or actions are unnoticed. She does everything exactly opposite to what I suggest her. I even tried to talk to her, or ask her the reason for not listening to me. But she acts as if there is no problem at all. She will do everything what she wants. So, nothing in my house happens according to my wish. It is like if things goes according to what she wants, then it is fine, else it is not. So, either I need to sacrifice all my work, presence or expectations, and do everything as she wants or to leave her and stay alone. We also tried to talk to a marriage counsellor, but it didn't help to change her opinion or actions. What is your suggestion?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is a breakdown in emotional connection, women have a tendency to be laid back about the marriage.
Now, if this is the case, it is difficult to find reasons but surely you can make a good attempt at winning her over. Small gestures like gifting her flowers or a day off from household chores, asking her about her day, complimenting her...
Also, check if you have started to become very instructional; woman DO NOT like husbands instructing them constantly and will shut off almost immediately.
Instead offering to do things together will help her bond with you...

So, it's possibly not about you or listening to what you have to say BUT possibly the manner in which you say or request is important to her. Involve yourself in her world and see things change.

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
Oh, she can treat this as though she's just married. Start fresh and new and there's so much to explore with one another and within the marriage only if she is willing to go in with an open mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10879 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am 56 yrs old with two sons, both married and settled. They are living on their own and managing their finances. I have around 2.5 Cr. invested in Direct Equity and 50L in Equity Mutual Funds. I have Another 50L savings in Bank and other secured investments. I am living in Delhi NCR in my owned parental house. I have two properties of current market worth of 2 Cr, giving a monthly rental of around 40K. I wish to retire and travel the world now with my wife. My approximate yearly expenditure on house hold and travel will be around 24 L per year. I want to know, if this corpus is enough for me to retire now and continue to live a comfortable life.
Ans: You have built a strong base. You have raised your sons well. They live independently. You and your wife now want a peaceful and enjoyable retired life. You have created wealth with discipline. You have no home loan. You live in your own house. This gives strength to your cash flow. Your savings across equity, mutual funds, and bank deposits show good clarity. I appreciate your careful preparation. You deserve a happy retired life with travel and comfort.

» Your Present Position
Your current financial position looks very steady. You hold direct equity of around Rs 2.5 Cr. You hold equity mutual funds worth Rs 50 lakh. You also have Rs 50 lakh in bank deposits and other secured savings. Your two rental properties add more comfort. You earn around Rs 40,000 per month from rent. You also live in your owned house in Delhi NCR. So you have no rent expense.

Your total net worth crosses Rs 5.5 Cr easily. This gives you a strong base for your retired life. You plan to spend around Rs 24 lakh per year for all expenses, including travel. This is reasonable for your lifestyle. Your savings can support this if planned well. You have built more than the minimum needed for a comfortable retired life.

» Your Key Strengths
You already enjoy many strengths. These strengths hold your plan together.

You have zero housing loan.

You have stable rental income.

You have children living independently.

You have a balanced mix of assets.

You have built wealth with discipline.

You have clear goals for travel and lifestyle.

You have strong liquidity with Rs 50 lakh in bank and secured savings.

These strengths reduce risk. They support a smooth retired life with less stress. They also help you handle inflation and medical costs better.

» Your Cash Flow Needs
Your yearly expense is around Rs 24 lakh. This includes travel, which is your main dream for retired life. A couple at your stage can keep this lifestyle if the cash flow is planned well. You need cash flow clarity for the next 30 years. Retirement at 56 can extend for three decades. So your wealth must support you for a long period.

Your rental income gives you around Rs 4.8 lakh per year. This covers almost 20% of your yearly spending. This reduces pressure on your investments. The rest can come from a planned withdrawal strategy from your financial assets.

You also have Rs 50 lakh in bank deposits. This acts as liquidity buffer. You can use this buffer for short-term and medium-term needs. You also have equity exposure. This can support long-term growth.

» Risk Capacity and Risk Need
Your risk capacity is moderate to high. This is because:

You own your home.

You have rental income.

Your children are financially independent.

You have large accumulated assets.

You have enough liquidity in bank deposits.

Your risk need is also moderate. You need growth because inflation will rise. Travel costs will rise. Medical costs will increase. Your lifestyle will change with age. Your equity portion helps you beat inflation. But your equity exposure must be managed well. You should avoid sudden large withdrawals from equity at the wrong time.

Your stability allows you to keep some portion in equity even during retired life. But you should avoid excessive risk through direct equity. Direct equity carries concentration risk. A balanced mix of high-quality mutual funds is safer in retired life.

» Direct Equity Risk in Retired Life
You hold around Rs 2.5 Cr in direct equity. This brings some concerns. Direct equity needs frequent tracking. It needs research. It carries single-stock risk. One mistake may reduce your capital. In retired life, you need stability, clarity, and lower volatility.

Direct funds inside mutual funds also bring challenges. Direct funds lack personalised support. Regular plans through a Mutual Fund Distributor with a Certified Financial Planner bring guidance and strategy. Regular funds also support better tracking and behaviour management in volatile markets. In retired life, proper handholding improves long-term stability.

Many people think direct funds save cost. But the value of advisory support through a CFP gives higher net gains over long periods. Direct plans also create more confusion in asset allocation for retirees.

» Mutual Funds as a Core Support
Actively managed mutual funds remain a strong pillar. They bring professional management and risk controls. They handle market cycles better than index funds. Index funds follow the market blindly. They do not help in volatile phases. They also offer no risk protection. They cannot manage quality of stocks.

Actively managed funds deliver better selection and risk handling. A retiree benefits from such active strategy. You should avoid index funds for a long retirement plan. You should prefer strong active funds under a disciplined review with a CFP-led MFD support.

» Why Regular Plans Work Better for Retirees
Direct plans give no guidance. Retired investors often face emotional decisions. Some panic during market fall. Some withdraw heavily during market rise. This harms wealth. Regular plan under a CFP-led MFD gives a relationship. It offers disciplined rebalancing. It improves long-term returns. It protects wealth from poor behaviour.

For retirees, the difference is huge. So shifting to regular plans for the mutual fund portion will help long-term stability.

» Your Withdrawal Strategy
A planned withdrawal strategy is key for your case. You should create three layers.

Short-Term Bucket
This comes from your bank deposits. This should hold at least 18 to 24 months of expenses. You already have Rs 50 lakh. This is enough to hold your short-term cash needs. You can use this for household costs and some travel. This avoids panic selling of equity during market downturn.

Medium-Term Bucket
This bucket can stay partly in low-volatility debt funds and partly in hybrid options. This should cover your next 5 to 7 years. This helps smoothen withdrawals. It gives regular cash flow. It reduces market shocks.

Long-Term Bucket
This can stay in high-quality equity mutual funds. This bucket helps beat inflation. This bucket helps fund your travel dreams in later years. This bucket also builds buffer for medical needs.

This three-bucket strategy protects your lifestyle. It also keeps discipline and clarity.

» Handling Property and Rental Income
Your properties give Rs 40,000 monthly rental. This helps your cash flow. You should maintain the property well. You should keep some funds aside for repairs. Do not depend fully on rental growth. Rental yields remain low. But your rental income reduces pressure on your investments. So keep the rental income as a steady support, not a primary source.

You should not plan more real estate purchase. Real estate brings low returns and poor liquidity. You already own enough. Holding more can hurt flexibility in retired life.

» Planning for Medical Costs
Medical costs rise faster than inflation. You and your wife need strong health coverage. You should maintain a reliable health insurance. You should also keep a medical fund from your bank deposits. You may keep around 3 to 4 lakh per year as a buffer for medical needs. Your bank savings support this.

Health coverage reduces stress on your long-term wealth. It also avoids large withdrawals from your growth assets.

» Travel Planning
Travel is your main dream now. You can plan your travel using your short-term and medium-term buckets. You can take funds annually from your liquidity bucket. You can avoid touching long-term equity assets for travel. This approach keeps your wealth stable.

You should plan travel for the next five years with a budget. You should adjust your travel based on markets and health. Do not use entire gains of equity for travel. Keep travel budget fixed. Add small adjustments only when needed.

» Inflation and Lifestyle Stability
Inflation will impact lifestyle. At Rs 24 lakh per year today, the cost may double in 12 to 14 years. Your equity exposure helps you beat this. But you need careful rebalancing. You also need disciplined review with a CFP-led MFD. This will help you manage inflation and maintain comfort.

Your lifestyle is stable because your children live independently. So your cash flow demand stays predictable. This makes your plan sustainable.

» Longevity Risk
Retirement at 56 means you may live till 85 or 90. Your plan should cover long years. Your total net worth of around Rs 5.5 Cr to Rs 6 Cr can support this. But you need a proper drawdown strategy. Avoid high withdrawals in early years. Keep your travel budget steady.

Do not depend on one asset class. A mix of debt and equity gives comfort. Keep your bank deposits as cushion.

» Succession and Estate Planning
Since you have two sons who are settled, you can plan a clear will. Clear distribution avoids conflict. You can also assign nominees across accounts. You can also review your legal papers. This gives peace to you and your family.

» Summary of Your Retirement Readiness
Based on your assets and cash flow, you are ready to retire. You have enough wealth. You have enough liquidity. You have enough income support from rent. You also have good asset mix. With proper planning, your lifestyle is comfortable.

You can retire now. But maintain a disciplined withdrawal strategy. Shift more reliance from direct equity into professionally managed mutual funds under regular plans. Keep your liquidity strong. Review once every year with a CFP.

Your wealth can support your travel dreams for many years. You can enjoy retired life with confidence.

» Finally
Your preparation is strong. Your intentions are clear. Your lifestyle needs are reasonable. Your assets support your dreams. With a balanced plan, steady review, and mindful spending, you can enjoy a comfortable retired life with your wife. You can travel the world without fear of running out of money. You deserve this peace and joy.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2577 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2025Hindi
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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