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Anu Krishna  |1046 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi

My wife doesn't respect me at all. She scolds me for no reason. She is always silent without any smile on her face. What should I do. It is impacting my personal life and mental balance

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Possible that the two of you have forgotten the joys of what can and togetherness can bring in?
Maybe you can try and recreate the moments of happiness and lighter moments and live them all over again. It takes one small reason to smile and be happy all over again BUT there must be an effort in that direction.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan Rai  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 04, 2023

My wife frequently quarrels with me, putting up baseless aligations on character shoutingly so much that everyone in our apartment hears it easily. This conduct of her is affecting badly my 4 year son and 12 year old daughter and badly tarnishing my social life. We are now married for last 10 years and she is always like this towards me. Please hlp as it is effecting my health. Thanks.
Ans: Dear Irfan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's behavior is not only affecting you, but also your children and social life.

It's important to communicate openly with your wife about how her behavior is affecting you and your family. You can try to have a calm and respectful conversation with her about your concerns and express how her behavior is hurting you and your children. It's important to avoid being defensive or confrontational, as this can escalate the situation and make things worse.

If your attempts to communicate with your wife are not successful, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional can help you both to identify the underlying issues that are causing the conflicts and provide you with tools and strategies to improve your communication and relationship.

In the meantime, it's important to prioritize the well-being of your children and yourself. You can seek support from trusted friends or family members, join a support group, or consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional toll of the situation.

Remember, it's not healthy or acceptable for anyone to be subjected to baseless allegations or verbal abuse. It's important to take steps to protect yourself and your family from this behavior, whether that means seeking professional help

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Kanchan Rai  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
I am a 41 year old married man with two sons and I make a decent living. Since few months my relationship with my wife has deteriorated significantly with no apparent reason other then finance. She is always trying to find a fault with me and as soon as she does, she just starts scolding me. I tried hard not to give her a reason to scold me, but that's making her even more frustrated as she creates even more drama when she finds a smallest of a fault which may not be necessarily mine but of my kids. She wont allow me to touch. She wont talk to me, she has this strange anger in her tone whenever she says few things to me. I am even taking her to a Foreign trip this march and we did quiet expensive trip last summer. I dont know what to do? I have tried to sit with her and talk. But no success
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like you're trying hard to make things work, including taking your wife on trips to strengthen your relationship. It's positive that you've tried to sit and talk with her, even though it hasn't been successful so far.Communication is key in any relationship, so it's important to keep trying to have open and honest conversations with your wife. Perhaps you could suggest couples counseling as a way to facilitate these discussions in a more structured setting. A counselor could help both of you understand each other's perspectives and find constructive ways to address your issues. Going on trips is great, but also focus on spending quality time together in everyday life. Find activities you both enjoy and make time for each other. Ultimately, it will take effort from both you and your wife to improve your relationship. It may also be beneficial to explore the underlying reasons for the tension, such as financial stress, and work together to find solutions that address both of your needs and concerns.

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Kanchan Rai  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2024Hindi
Hello Ma'm. I am a 45 year old person. My wife is 41. For the last one year she has become extremely self centered. She is always in a bickering mode. Makes sure to always see the negative side of any situation. Speaks anything that comes to her mind, not bothering about what others may think. We have 2 kids, a teenage son and a 10 year old daughter. She keeps on scolding them for any reason which she deems fit. Because of this both the kids have got extremely low self confidence and are also poor grades. She never lets me complete my side of the discussion and always tries to show herself as the best. Due to this I have completely stopped talking. I only speak if she asks something else I prefer to remain silent. All this is causing too much of a mental trauma for me. I have lost weight, appetite and interest in anything because of this. Obviously with all this our physical intimacy has almost been non-existent. Deep down I still love her a lot a keep praying that she changes to her former self. What should I do?
Ans: Navigating this challenging situation requires a multifaceted approach, focusing on communication, understanding, and possibly seeking external help. It's evident that your wife's recent behavior is significantly impacting not only your well-being but also the mental and emotional health of your children. While it's important to consider her perspective and any underlying issues she may be facing, it's equally crucial to address the impact on your family and yourself.

First, consider initiating a calm, non-confrontational conversation with your wife about your concerns. Choose a moment when you are both relatively calm and can speak without immediate distractions. Express your feelings honestly but gently, focusing on how her behavior affects you and the children rather than blaming her. Use "I" statements, such as "I feel hurt and worried when..." to prevent her from feeling attacked and becoming defensive.

It's possible that your wife may be dealing with her own unresolved issues, stress, or even mental health challenges, which are manifesting in her behavior. Suggesting counseling or therapy, both individually and as a couple, can be a constructive step. A professional can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work through underlying issues. This can also be beneficial for your children, who might be experiencing anxiety and low self-esteem due to the current environment.

In the meantime, focus on creating a supportive and positive atmosphere for your children. Encourage open communication with them and reassure them that their feelings are valid. Engaging in activities that boost their confidence and providing positive reinforcement can help counterbalance the negativity they might be experiencing at home.

Taking care of your own mental and physical health is equally important. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate your emotions and develop coping strategies. Finding activities that bring you joy and relaxation can also help mitigate the stress you are under.

Ultimately, while you cannot force change upon your wife, you can take steps to protect your well-being and that of your children. By fostering open communication, seeking professional help, and creating a positive environment, you can work towards improving your family's dynamics. Remember, addressing these issues is a process that takes time and patience, but taking the first steps can lead to significant improvements over time.

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Kanchan Rai  |287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Hello, i am 43 year male with 2kids....married from last 13yrs. My wife is very good in house work and take care of my kids...she loves me alot but mostly she show us like she is doing us a favour by doing all this and many times stop talking and behave like she doesnt care about anyone....if i ask something she reply rudely. I am fedup of all this behaviour...i do my maximum efforts to make her happy but cant understand what is the issue with her....if i talk about her behaviour then she blames me fot everything...i wants to be happy with my family...pls suggess.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like despite your wife’s efforts in taking care of the household and the children, her behavior is causing significant stress for you.

Your wife's actions might be influenced by feeling overwhelmed or unappreciated. Managing the home and caring for the kids can be exhausting, and she might feel like her efforts go unnoticed. This can lead to frustration and the impression that she's doing everything as a favor, resulting in her becoming distant or irritable.

Try to talk with her during a calm moment, expressing your concerns without placing blame. You might say, "I've noticed you seem stressed lately. I want to understand how you're feeling and see how I can help." Listening to her and showing appreciation for her work can help alleviate some of her stress and improve your connection.

If these conversations don't lead to improvement, consider seeking help from a professional counselor. They can facilitate better communication and help both of you address deeper issues.

Your goal is a happy and supportive family environment. Working together with empathy and understanding can help you both move towards a more fulfilling relationship. If you continue to struggle, don't hesitate to reach out for support from professionals or loved ones. Your effort and commitment are crucial steps toward finding a solution.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |2230 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
Sir, i have completed my bachelors (BCA) in India in an engineering college and wishes to pursue my masters in a foreign country.My family is'nt well off so iam looking into schlorships.can you suggest some courses with good scope. Also which countries are best for IT field that provide great schlorship oppurtunities.
Ans: As far as Scholarships for Abroad Universities are concerned, you should have good scores from the entrance tests (whichever will be applicable according to the University's admission criteria), good past academic records, your extra and co-curricular activities, additional certifications, your Statement of Purpose (SOP), Letter of Recommendation etc. Those who have gained work experience of a minimum 2-3 years after graduation get preference in admission.

And most of the Universities do not provide 100% scholarships. You will have to bear some expenses (depends upon which University / College you get admission into & what all expenses only it will cover?) .

As you have mentioned that your parents NOT well-off financially, it is suggested to work for 2-3 years, earn some money and also gain work experience, then go for further education abroad.

Before approaching any Professional Abroad Education Consultant, do a thorough research about the Countries/Universities/Programs, shortlist those which you think will be most suitable, apply to 5-6 top Univerities offering Scholarships and finalize one best University/College for you.

All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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