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Betrayed Wife: Should I Leave Husband After 7-Year Affair?

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am married for 15 years .my husband has relationship with his asst since 7 years.i came to know recently.he denies.we don't have kids.i love him.whats Good for me .leave him or any other option

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure that must have been shocking. When you got to know about the relationship of your husband with his assistant, did you confront your husband with it?
If Yes, what did he have to say? Did you ask him if he is interested in working on the marriage? Do you want to also be in the marriage?
If No, why haven't you confronted him on it as yet?

Confrontations can in a dead-end situation be an indication to what action to take next. If he is cool and unbothered, then you know he doesn't care how this affects you.
if he yells and threatens you, you know that he wants you to stay out of his business.
If he apologizes, the you need to assess how genuine it is and then think if you wish to continue as well.

Since, I don't have information on whether this subtle confrontation happened or not, my suggestions are a little general, but do pick off of them and work on it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 28, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Good evening.i am married for 15: years to a man against my parents wishes we don't have kids.5months back i came to know he has a link with his assistant since some time.i asked them.they asked me for proofs.i don't have.i asked him to send her off.he refused.i am totally disturbed.please advice whether or not to continue with my husband.thank you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's sad that instead of reassuring you, your husband asks you for proof. But, you have not shared how you 'came to know that he has a link' with his assistant. This is vital information as it will not just gather proof but will also tell you how your husband views the marriage and whether he has any interest in continuing.
Now, whether you must continue or not, is a decision you must make based on all the evidences that you gather and also finding out from your husband if this marriage is important to him as well. Then things will give you clarity into making a decision. So, how did you come to know and what actually made you suspect him?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 21, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am married for past 2 years it's an arranged marriage. On the first night of marriage my husband told me that he is in love with someone else I was fine with it then when I told my family they asked me to stop being a fool and try to build this marriage. In these 2 years I have been strictly checking his phone asking for his location as advised by his father still he has never touched me . We never talk and i have lost interest in trying after 1 year .I like living with him as I get freedom even though there is no relationship between us I live in joint family and if I go back and take divorce they will get me married again soon . Why should I do !? Should I leave him as he is still in love with someone. Or should I enjoy my freedom. I have asked him to not ask me anything about my life and i will never ask anything to him about his life... please help ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your first goof-up was being okay with a person who said that he loves someone else.
Your second goof-up was trying to make the marriage work by doing what your father-in-law wanted you to do (check phone).

In both cases, you placed HOPE over your common sense. Maybe it did not occur to you that you are stepping into a world that may never let you live a normal married life?

Now, my question to you is: What freedom are you talking about? This same freedom will someday come back to haunt you as there is no family system that you are part of, no relationships to be part of...Is this okay with you?

Marriages or Life partnerships are not like: you mind your own business and I will mind mine. There is communication, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, giving-receiving...do you think your marriage will have this OR can the two of you work towards this? If YES, give it your best shot else, you really must think: What do I want for and in my life?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ravi Mittal |676 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Good evening.i am married for for 16 years.we don't have kids.recently I came to know of my husband's relationship with his asst.i confronted.they denied.i don't have evidence.i asked him to fire his asst.he refused and wants to continue her gf or any amount of time.says she's good at work he is dependent on her in his clinic.what do I do.i cannot continue with him with this suspicion.please advice

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, this is not something that you want to put up with.
2 ways of approaching this:
1. Wait it out; don't say a word about it to him... Very difficult, but as the fling attraction stops, the affair will stop as well. (Maybe he doesn't deserve this BUT it's up to you)
2. Give him an ultimatum; which means you take a bold step of stepping out in case he does not change. (Again this is up to you as it's not easy taking this decision)

See which of the two is something that can work for you. You could also try and involve someone trustworthy who can talk to him out of it. Do this only as long as you trust the person.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Murari - Dec 05, 2025Hindi

Career

Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.

Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Dentist - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Visu - Aug 01, 2025Hindi

Health

I am 61. I have a partial removable denture(upper). I also have bridges in both upper and lower. I was suggested to go for implants. Will it be okay to go for implants at a later part of the life. Is it safe both health and moneywise ? Will it be cheaper if we go for full implant with 4 in one ; if so it may need to wait for few more year let other teeth will also fall.. Please guide and advise on implants

Ans: Hello

Please be assured, AGE isn't a barrier for implants. But overall health is a factor. Your dentist will assess your bone density, gum health, and general medical history before he places your implants.

Implants have some definite advantages over removable dentures. They provide a stable and secure fit, improved chewing and speech.
And with proper care may last for 10-15 years or more.
On the negative side, upfront cost of implants can be higher, surgery cannot be avoided and healing can take 3-6 months.

Cost-wise, Implants can be more cost-effective in the long run.
"All-on-4" implants might be cheaper than individual implants, but waiting might lead to deterioration of bone health, making the process more complex.

Consult your dentist about:
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- Bone density scan (to check if you have enough bone for implants)
- Cost estimates and financing options
- Timeline for the procedure.

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2025Hindi

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My 12 year old son has 2 parallel lines of teeth. One front and the other behind. So far in the behind only 2 teeths are there one in each side. Will this cause any serious issues for him? He has speech problem. Could this be the reason? Does he need to take any immediate corrective procedure?

Ans: Hello
This situation of "2 parallel lines of teeth" arises when permanent teeth erupt BEFORE the deciduous teeth (or milk teeth) have been shed. This indicates a mis-alignment of the permanent teeth. The shedding of milk teeth is dependent on the permanent teeth exerting pressure on them as they grow.
This mis-alignment, indeed, could be the cause of his speech problem.
My advice to you is to consult a competent pediatric dentist or an orthodontist (a dentist who realigns crooked teeth) soon so that corrective measures can be taken.

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Dentist - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi

Health

My front teeth is broken I fell down from my bike while dog is chasing me . I went to dentist i got broken teeth cemented . dentist advised me not to chew anything with cemented teeth it's a life time instruction. It is very discomfort to me .Is there any treatment such that I can chew even with repaired tooth

Ans: Hi.,
Sorry to hear about your fall and the resultant damage to your teeth.
Honestly, it's best to follow your dentist's advice, but I understand your problem. Eating can be a challenge.
Please ask your dentist about sturdier alternatives like dental crowns or bridges. These can provide extra protection and might let you chew more comfortably.

In the meantime, stick to soft foods which do not put pressure on your compromised teeth, or soups. You can also try cutting your food into smaller pieces to reduce pressure on the tooth.

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Pramod - Dec 05, 2025Hindi

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Student of 1st yr ECE BIT Mesra,should apply for branch change to CSE,IT,AI&ML considering future job security etc.

Ans: In future CSE,IT,AI&ML jobs will be more than ECE jobs, but job security is different. For job security you have to aim govt. jobs

Ulhas Joshi |280 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Question by Ganesh - Dec 03, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir/Mam, Currently I'm investing in SIP as per below for the last 3 years, my goal is to achieve 2 crores by the next 10 years. Please suggest me if these MFs are good or any rebalancing is required. I'm planning to increase the SIP by 10% each year. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap - 5K Aditya Birla SF BAF - 2K SBI Large & Midcap - 5K Quant Small Cap - 3K SBI Gold Fund - Growth - 5K Canara Robeco Large cap - 5K Thanks.

Ans: Hello & thanks for writing to me.

Your portfolio is well-allocated across flexicap, large & midcap, small cap, BAF and gold, offering a balanced mix of growth, stability and diversification.

Given your 10-year horizon, keeping a higher allocation towards flexicap and large & midcap funds is appropriate, as these categories help manage volatility while still capturing long-term growth. The small-cap exposure adds additional long-term growth potential, while the Balanced Advantage Fund (BAF) provides stability through its dynamic asset allocation. Your gold allocation further supports diversification and can cushion the portfolio during equity market stress.

At this stage, no major rebalancing is needed. Since you plan to increase your SIPs by 10% every year, directing this additional amount mainly towards your flexicap or large & midcap fund will further strengthen the core of your portfolio over time.

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Question by Thamizh - Dec 04, 2025Hindi

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how many marks and what rank need to scored in vitjee to get chemical engineering seat in vit vellore?

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, My husband doesn't do house chores. We both work full-time, but I still end up cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. When I ask for help, my partner will say, ‘Just tell me what to do,’ but then he conveniently forgets. Maybe he doesn't like it or he is genuinely forgetful. I have tried many ways to make him explain. Once I only did my share of laundry to make him realise but he simply ignored. Every week this pattern repeats. Is this normal? How can married couples divide responsibilities fairly to avoid fights?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Every home has a different routine and share of responsibilities. So, there's no standard norm to challenge it as normal or not!
So, if you want your husband to pitch in, then say it in clear terms, especially since he has told you to tell him what to do.
Once you have told him, do make sure to ask him: Will you find it convenient to do it now or later? If later, when?
This will ensure that he makes a statement of commitment, so there's no question of forgetting it, right? Play it smart...it's better than feeling bad about the situation or mulling over why something does not work.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1745 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Question by Santosh - Oct 20, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Feeling alone in the world and iam not having any close friends everybody is busy with their works and family, help me what to do

Ans: Dear Santosh,
Everybody has a life and so do you; build your life the way that you want...
Start attending weekend events or any social gathering in the city/town that you live in; even a smile or a hi, hello can be start to a good association when you can further discuss and chat on mutual interests and hobbies.
A humble effort in this direction can change the state that you are in.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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