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Stuck in a remote area, feeling trapped: What are my options?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Brijesh Question by Brijesh on Mar 22, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Main problem for me in my house i stay in far away place connected with city but not a proper city nor i have funds to suffice for mr only thing is that to get seperated and walk away from this relation all the doors are closed

Ans: Let me tell you something gently and with complete honesty—you still have choices, even if right now they feel small or out of reach. You may not be able to walk away immediately, but you can begin to prepare yourself—emotionally, mentally, and eventually financially. You don’t need to have all the answers or resources at once. You only need to believe that you deserve peace, that you deserve dignity, and that you deserve a second chance at a life where you're not just surviving.

Start by asking yourself: What small, realistic step can I take to feel a little more in control again? Maybe it's revisiting a skill you had, trying for a part-time freelance role, or even just building a tiny network of support—someone you can talk to once a week, even if it’s online. It might take time, but slowly, you will begin to find your footing.

Even in the darkest of times, when everything seems lost, there is always a way forward—it just may not be visible yet. Don’t underestimate your strength. You’ve survived everything up until now, and that is not nothing. That means you are strong, even if you don’t feel it today.

You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story.

You don't have to do it all at once. You just need to believe that you can.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 05, 2024

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Relationship
Hello madam, My name is Deepthi am 37 years old married woman with 8 months old infant .in 2011 may I got married to a good man it was arranged marriage. Upto now we are living our life's both sides parents are not supportive ,we are only taking care of child ,the thing is neighbour s (women)are asking y ur parents and inlaws are not supportive , emotionaly putting me down,I am isolated and taking care of child life is becoming challenging for me ,how to gain mental strength,dareness to raise kid ??? another thing is my husband is taking care of my kid and me both sides parents not accepting me without money ,I did not yet recovered fully , emotional ly, physically . neighbour women emotionally draining me creating panic that how u will raise kid alone .I want to distance both parents temporarily .madam how to move ahead in life my husband is always supportive
Ans: Hi Deepthi,

Navigating the challenges you're facing, from feeling isolated without support from both sides of the family to dealing with emotionally draining neighbors, is incredibly tough, especially as you care for your 8-month-old infant and work on your own recovery.
Firstly, recognize and embrace the support you have from your husband. He is a vital source of strength in your life. Open and honest communication with him about your feelings and struggles can fortify your partnership and help you both tackle these challenges together. Knowing that you have a supportive partner by your side can make a significant difference in how you cope with these pressures.

When it comes to your neighbors, setting boundaries is crucial. You don’t owe them explanations about why your parents and in-laws are not supportive. Politely but firmly let them know that you prefer not to discuss personal matters and that you are managing your situation in your own way. Protecting your emotional well-being from their intrusive questions is essential for maintaining your peace.

Focusing on your recovery is paramount. Taking care of an infant is incredibly demanding, and prioritizing your health is critical. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and finding small moments to recharge throughout the day. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace, whether it’s a hobby, quiet time with your baby, or connecting with supportive friends, can help in your emotional recovery.

To counteract the feelings of isolation, seek out social support. Look for mother-and-baby groups or community activities where you can meet other parents who might be experiencing similar situations. Building connections with others in similar stages of life can provide mutual support and reduce the sense of being alone in your journey.

Building mental resilience is another key step. Practices like mindfulness or meditation can help you stay grounded and manage stress more effectively. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can provide a therapeutic outlet, and engaging with inspiring books or podcasts can offer new perspectives and encouragement.

Regarding your parents and in-laws, it might be beneficial to distance yourself temporarily. Focus on creating a healthy and nurturing environment for yourself and your baby. If interactions with them are causing you stress, consider setting clear boundaries to protect your peace. Communicate your needs and expectations clearly, emphasizing that your primary concern is the well-being of your immediate family.

If the emotional strain becomes overwhelming, seeking professional help is a valuable option. A counselor or therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and offer strategies to cope with your challenges. Professional support can help you build emotional resilience and give you the tools to manage your situation more effectively.

It’s important to recognize and celebrate small wins in your daily life. Every day brings its own set of challenges, but also moments of success. Whether it’s a peaceful moment with your baby, a positive interaction with your husband, or simply making it through a tough day, acknowledging these victories can boost your morale and remind you of your strength and capability.

You are doing an incredible job under very challenging circumstances. Trust in your ability to raise your child and build a happy life. You are not alone; your husband’s support and your own inner strength are your greatest allies. Focus on what you can control, shield your mental well-being from external negativity, and believe in your capacity to overcome these hurdles. With time, patience, and self-compassion, you will find your way forward.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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