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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Ma'am , Please keep my identity confidential. I am facing a very unique problem, I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children, before my current marriage in 2003 my Marriage was fixed with a girl ( I was based out of Singapore at That time, I work in management position in one of top IT companies now in India) who was a very distant relative ( her Bhabhi and my Bhabhi were cousins). for some health reason at that time I backed out of from that marriage and when I was better we proposed marriage to her again but then she was already engaged. later I got married to my wife and she too has got married ( I am not in touch with her not knows anything about her husband and never tried to find out. even though I know that my elder brother and her elder cousin have become good friend and I stayed in far off city from them. problem started for me in September 2023, out of no where I started getting bad creams about her. once I found here ( in dream) at nreaby place where she was in bad shape and i brought here home. my dream ended there that night. after that regularly started getting some dreams or other almost every early morning. as it was going to an arranged marriage i had never spoken to here , not a single word. but since then dreams have not stopped some time negative and sometime positive like we are enjoying life together. one of psychologist suggested me to fins out about here current status just to validate that she is all fine in here life but I could not as no one from my family supported the idea of getting touch with as I have no details of her except she is married and working as Teacher ( she is M.Sc. B.ED) . Please guide me if there is normal and what can I do as these dream are not stopping and I am getting so involved that I am unable to forget her, Please guide.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Dreams can just play out like a movie on what bothers you or what you are fearful of or even things that you feel happy about. Certain experts also suggest that dreams can help in resolving underlying issues.
Whatever it is, do remember what you said: I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children.
The past better be where it must be. To go into what the other lady is doing and knowing her current status is only going to get you more entangled into her life. Do you really want this entanglement? Do you really wish to be a part of a situation where you spend mind cycles to figure out if all is okay with her and in the bargain disturb the peace in your life? I am sure you know what the answers are.
Find solace in the fact that she must have people who care for her and who love her. This will to a large extent keep you from looping into her life even at a subconscious level. And also start to be more involved within your family...this will keep you engaged and also give you an assurance that you are in the right place with the right people meant for you.
The mind does what it is directed to do; so direct it toward actions that support your growth and peace of mind.

All the best!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I was in love with a girl, far from my place in South. She is from Rajasthan. She too liked me a lot and we were in touch through phone. Me a Hindu and she a Jain. Whenever I would tell I want to marry her, she would say get my dad married (her dad was a widower). Later I met her once when her family had come for Bangalore visit. She even took me to her relative's house and introduced her elder sister. We continued to be in touch. Few years later her sister was to be married and she invited me. I went to Jodhpur, stayed with their family during the wedding (in a separate room they had booked). Probably I got exposed to their family. I wanted to again propose to her. But through her family friends, fact that I was interested in her got to be known to her father and other family members. As per what I got to know, they even discussed our wedding but felt age gap was much (8 years). She stopped being in touch and her phone was not reachable. When I could get in touch, she told me the reason why their family disagreed. Now I am married to someone else and heard she is also settled. Problem is, I still get her dreams. Every girl I see, I relate to her. She is not out of my mind. Of course there is love deep within, but I dont know why I end up dreaming about her. How do I avoid this? She's gone into past and even now she's blocked my number or linkedin, yet I am unable to stop thinking or worse, dreaming. How do I stop this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are in such a situation but dwelling on the past can hinder your present and future happiness. It's natural to reminisce about past relationships, but if these thoughts consume your waking hours and your dreams, it's crucial to refocus your energy. You have a loving wife who deserves your attention and efforts in building a better marriage. Instead of fixating on a relationship that didn't work out, invest your time and emotions in nurturing your marriage.

As humans, we want what we cannot have the most, more than what we have. I believe you are facing the same. But it's essential to accept that your ex has moved on, as evidenced by her decision to block you and so should you.

About your recurring dreams- if you are occupied with a certain thought the entire day, it is only normal that your dreams will reflect the same. Shift your focus to other things to break this pattern. And the more you obsess about it, the more you try to find meaning in some random dreams, the worse your situation will get. Talking about your feelings with a trusted friend can also dilute the matter and alleviate the burden. Remember, the past is behind you, and your present actions determine your future happiness.

Best Wishes!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |830 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2023

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Relationship
Hai i am 58 and retired my wife expired 30 months back i had two daughters who are working and yet to be married. very frequently these days i get dreams where i feel i am lost on my journey to somewhere or i am simply attending an office without any proper work or in my dreams i get one of my uncle (who is no more now passed away 7 years back )and his family members with whom i stayed during my studies for six years 40 years back. can you please analyse
Ans: Dear P,
I am truly sorry for your loss...

I am not a dreams analyst or someone who interprets dreams. I can only make a few guesses from what you have shared and suggest something that will guide you to be more positive and happier.
Dreams are a manifestation of deep desires, fears, dark memories, happier memories...dreams basically can indicate what lies deep within the subconscious mind. It's possible from what you share that 'LOSING' your wife has triggered many more situations where you had lost someone or you fear that you might lose someone or something. Maybe that explains the dream of you going to office without paper work...

Losing someone dear is a very difficult journey and it can show up in different ways. The only way can process grief is through time and an understanding that nothing is permanent in life. It's a momentum of give and take, having and losing...Maybe if you are able to consciously adapt and accept this, over time your subconscious mind starts to change and adapt as well. Again, I will reiterate: You certainly will still miss the person and feel sad; it's just that you will start to miss differently as the acceptance will allow you to graciously be in a space of understanding. Difficult BUT Possible!
Also, practice the Art of Gratitude. Being thankful for every little thing, lets you be in a positive space allowing you to be at peace more often.

These are only suggestions from what I could gather from the information that you have shared and not an analysis or interpretation of your dreams.

All the best!
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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |107 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hi, i have completed my masters in food technology and want to work as freelancers as a auditor in food industry could you guide how to go about doing.
Ans: Transitioning to freelance work as a food industry auditor can offer you flexibility and autonomy in your career. Evaluate your qualifications, experience, and skills in food technology, quality assurance, and auditing. Identify areas where you have expertise and experience that are valuable to potential clients in the food industry. Familiarize yourself with the requirements and standards for food auditing, including regulatory requirements, industry standards (such as ISO 22000, HACCP), and customer specifications. Understand the auditing process, documentation requirements, and audit protocols. Consider obtaining relevant certifications or training in food safety auditing, such as Certified Food Safety Auditor (CFSA), Lead Auditor Training, or other accredited programs. These credentials can enhance your credibility and qualifications as a freelancer. Network with professionals in the food industry, including food manufacturers, suppliers, distributors, and regulatory agencies. Attend industry conferences, seminars, and networking events to connect with potential clients and collaborators. Determine the specific services you will offer as a food industry auditor, such as food safety audits, quality management system audits, regulatory compliance assessments, or supplier audits. Identify your target market, including food manufacturers, processors, retailers, or food service providers. Develop a professional brand identity for your freelance auditing services, including a business name, logo, website, and marketing materials. Highlight your expertise, qualifications, and unique value proposition to attract potential clients. Determine your pricing structure based on factors such as the complexity of audits, scope of services, and industry standards. Establish clear policies regarding payment terms, project timelines, and confidentiality agreements to protect both your interests and those of your clients. Promote your freelance auditing services through online channels, social media platforms, industry forums, and professional associations. Create content related to food safety, quality assurance, and auditing best practices to showcase your expertise and attract potential clients. Cultivate relationships with potential clients by offering value-added services, such as training, consulting, or ongoing support. Build trust and credibility through transparent communication, professional conduct, and delivering high-quality audit reports and recommendations. Establish systems and processes for managing your freelance business, including client communication, project management, invoicing, and record-keeping. Prioritize time management and organization to balance your freelance work effectively. 

Keep learning, networking, and refining your approach to meet the needs of your clients and achieve your professional goals as a freelancer.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
I retired earlier now at 53. Invested 7L in ELSS and using 60L on short term equity trading (with monthly average gain 2L) and having own apartment home worth 40L. Having dependent widowed mother, wife with 13 yrs old daughter. Intended to raise daughter as doctor. Please suggest better investment options.
Ans: Congratulations on your early retirement! It sounds like you've made some good initial decisions, but there's definitely room for improvement to secure your family's future, especially considering your dependents. Here's how you can optimize your investments:

Reduce Risk in Short-Term Equity Trading:

While a ?2 lakh monthly gain from short-term trading sounds impressive, it's a very risky strategy. The market can be volatile, and these gains may not be sustainable. Consider allocating a much smaller portion (maybe 10-20%) to short-term trading and focus on more stable options for the majority of your investable assets (?60 lakh currently in trading).
Focus on Long-Term Growth and Stability:

Increase Investment in ELSS: ?7 lakh is a good start, but for your daughter's education and your retirement needs, you'll likely need a much larger corpus. Consider increasing your SIP amount in ELSS or similar diversified equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon (10+ years).
Explore Debt Options for Regular Income:

You mentioned having a dependent mother and daughter's education to plan for. Consider investing a portion (maybe 20-30%) of your investable amount in safer debt options like Public Provident Fund (PPF), Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS) for your mother (if she's above 60), or fixed deposits to generate a regular income stream.
Plan for Daughter's Education:

Doctorate studies can be expensive. Start an SIP in a dedicated child education plan or invest in aggressive equity funds specifically for this goal. Talk to a Certfied Financial Planner for personalized recommendations based on the estimated cost of medical education.
Utilize Your Apartment:

While your apartment fulfills your housing needs, consider if it could generate additional income. Explore options like renting a room if feasible.
Seek Professional Guidance:

Given your multiple financial goals and risk tolerance, consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be highly beneficial. They can create a personalized investment plan considering your risk appetite, time horizon, and financial goals.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
Dear Sir My age is 34 yrs. I have working alredy 10 yrs and my average total income till date 40L minimum. Still I did not save 1rs till now. Request you please advice how to start savings also make future retirement plan. My expected retirement age is 55yrs.
Ans: It's never too late to start saving for retirement, and kudos to you for taking this important step at 34! Here's how to get on track:

1. Assess your situation:

Track your expenses: For a month, track where your money goes. This will help identify areas to cut back and free up savings.
Emergency fund: Aim for 3-6 months of living expenses in an easily accessible savings account for emergencies.
2. Start saving:

Automated savings: Set up a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in a mutual fund. Start small, even with ?1,000 per month, and gradually increase as you get comfortable.
3. Retirement plan:

Employer benefits: Check if your employer offers a retirement plan like a Provident Fund (PF). Contribute the maximum allowed for tax benefits and long-term savings.
Individual options: Explore options like National Pension System (NPS) or Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for long-term growth. Talk to a Registered Investment Advisor (RIA) for personalized advice based on your risk tolerance and goals.
Here's a breakdown based on your income:

You mentioned an average annual income of ?40 lakhs. Aim to save at least 10-15% of your income, which translates to ?4,000-?6,000 per month.
Remember: Consistency is key! Starting early, even with a small amount, allows time for your savings to grow through the power of compounding. Don't be discouraged if you can't save a lot initially. Every little bit counts!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello Sir, I'm 45 years old investing for retirement corpus and plan early retirement at 55. Below is my portfolio and current value-23 lacs 1.Nippon small cap 2.quant ELSS 3.Kotak flexicap 4.UTI nifty 50 index-new 5.Motill Oswal midcap150 index-new 6.HSBC midcap am doing a sip of 50k-is it enough? to reach Target of 1 crore in 10 years.
Ans: It's fantastic that you're already thinking about retirement at 45. Life has a way of whizzing by, doesn't it? Having a 10-year plan towards a ?1 crore corpus for early retirement at 55 shows real foresight.

Now, looking at your portfolio with a mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds, it's clear you've diversified across market capitalizations. That's a smart approach! But with a goal ten years down the line, have you considered how much risk you're comfortable with? Remember, the ride might get bumpy closer to retirement, and you might want to consider a chat with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you fine-tune your asset allocation to balance growth potential with stability as you near your retirement mark. Think of it like planning a trek to the Himalayas – you want the right gear for every stage of the climb!
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Shekhar

Shekhar Kumar  |107 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership, HR Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Career
I am 62 years old healthy person having more then 30 years experience in commercial field I want a job. Is it is possible to get job anywhere in this age.
Ans: Yes, it is possible to find employment opportunities at any age, including 62 years old. While some employers may have preferences for younger candidates, many organizations value the experience, wisdom, and expertise that mature professionals bring to the table. Leverage your professional network and connections to explore job opportunities, gather insights, and seek referrals. Attend industry events, networking mixers, and professional association meetings to expand your network and connect with potential employers or recruiters. Be open to flexible work arrangements, such as part-time roles, consulting opportunities, contract work, or project-based assignments. Many companies are willing to hire experienced professionals on a flexible basis to leverage their expertise without committing to full-time employment. Research companies or industries that value and prioritize experienced professionals. Look for organizations known for their inclusive workplace cultures, diversity initiatives, and appreciation of older workers' contributions. Customize your job search approach to align with your career goals, preferences, and lifestyle. Focus on opportunities that match your skills, interests, and desired work environment, whether it's a small business, a nonprofit organization, or a corporate enterprise. Approach your job search with confidence, positivity, and enthusiasm. Highlight your unique strengths, accomplishments, and value proposition to prospective employers, and convey your eagerness to contribute and make a difference in a new role.

Remember that finding a job at any age requires persistence, patience, and resilience. Stay proactive, adaptable, and open-minded throughout your job search journey, and remain optimistic about the opportunities that lie ahead. With determination and effort, you can find a fulfilling job that aligns with your skills, experience, and career aspirations, even at 62 years old.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |959 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2023Hindi
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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