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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
LM Question by LM on Oct 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Madam
I had a relationship with my childhood friend until last year. We both got married to different people.
Due to some misunderstanding, he is not talking to me right now.
I tried to contact him through social media but there has been no response from his side.
My intention is to continue with our friendship.
His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression these days. I am trying to get out of this. But I'm unable to do so.
Help me out, what should I do now?

Ans:

Dear LM,

There is a reason for him ‘ghosting’ you.

Was your ‘relationship’ one sided?

Was he clear that he was not in any sort of commitment with you?

Did you at any point think that this might be a long haul one?

Sometimes, people believe relationships are meant to last forever.

Nice fairy tales they fool themselves with and then build expectations up and then drive into a well of foolish decisions only to realise that they have led themselves to self-pity to play a victim.

This is what you are doing to yourself.

Rise above and know that he isn’t interested anymore. Who are you crying over? Who are you waiting for? And is he worth spoiling your state of mind?

Start by de-focusing…

  • Put away all stuff that holds his memories
  • Be with your friends who can support you
  • Eat and sleep well and on time
  • Pick up a new hobby or learn a new language to divert the attention

And you don’t have depression unless clinically diagnosed.

You are just feeling low and sad, and it will slowly fade away. Have faith but take the first step to make yourself feel better.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Madam I had a relationship with my childhood friend till last year. We both got married to different people. Due to some misunderstanding he is not talking to me right now. I tried lot from my end to contact him through social media but no response from his side. My intention is why can’t we be friends at least now. His thoughts are torturing me badly and I am suffering with depression now a days. I am trying to get out of this, but I'm unable to do so. Help me out, what should I do now.Pls reply through email only. It should be confidential.
Ans:

Dear LM,

Things have moved for him, and he has clearly decided to move on.

Why choose to pine so much? If it is some misunderstanding, give him time to sort it in his mind and get back to you.

Trying and not getting the expected result will cause you more pain and anguish over the fact that he is not responding because of this and that.

Your mind will search for all reasons to justify your pain and the action that you have taken to reach out to him.

Give this a break. Respect his decision as hard as it maybe for you, but if he somewhere in the future decides to be a friend, let him approach you.

The more you are chasing him, the more it is hitting your self-esteem with the rejection and soon it will start to make you feel bitter. So, Pause and take that break.

And to defocus on this, make sure you spend more time with your existing set of friends, go deeper into work (if you are a working professional), spend more time with your family, develop new hobbies and more…

What all this does is, give the mind an alternate path to focus on…slowly, the pain starts to ease as your focus on him eases…and this is possible only if you willfully choose to ease the pain for yourself.

Your life, your choice…so, be kind on yourself and choose what’s best for your mind and you.

Best wishes!

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |2566 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

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Career
Sir my self krishna sir can't able focus on studies properly plz give some tips to study for more hours for jee
Ans: Krishna, adhere to the following Strategies/Tips/Steps:

(1) Whenever you study at home, study for 45-minutes. Then take a break of 10-minutes when you can move away from your study table, walk, have some water & relax. If you continue studying beyond 45-minutes, your concentration power will go down, resulting to low output. Most students commit this mistake.
(2) On daily basis (morning or evening whichever will be convenient to you), do yoga or meditation or physical exercises or play any games / sports for at least 30-45 minutes. This will further reduce your stress / distractions.
(3) Study tough topics / tough subjects (applicable to you) early morning with your fresh mind.
(4) Eat a lot of green vegetables / fruits which you can afford for & Avoid soft drinks/junk foods
(5) Every day night, before going to bed, revise whatever you have studied during the day.
(6) Also, revise every week whatever you have covered till date (here your short-notes which you should prepare will be helpful).
(7) Keep practising questions on topics which you have covered either offline or online
(8) Give utmost importance to wrongly answered / difficult / complicated / tough questions and have a separate note-book specially for this for each subject (PCM)
(9) You might be aware that JEE rank is allotted on the basis of highest score in Maths, followed by Physics & Chemistry. Practice more and more in Maths, till you reach Speed & Accuracy

(10) By December-January, attempt fully syllabus online test series, evaluate and analyse your performance such as,

(a) which topic / unit / concept you are weak which needs your revision and improvement as this will disturb you when you appear in actual JEE exam
(b) abnormal time taken to attempt any question which you can come to know from Online Test Series which you should reduce
(c) which questions you skipped and why?

(11) Please AVOID studying under pressure that you should get admission only into IITs/ NITs. Never advisable. Any one can be successful, even if he / she studies in NON-IIT / NON-NIT Colleges also.

(12) Have Plan B & Plan C for other Colleges Entrance Exams / Disciplines-Streams.
(13) Avoid comparing yourself with other students.

(14) Also, it is highly ideal to appear in / attempt\minimum 5-7 Entrance Exams (for both Govt & Private Engineering Colleges). You will have a lot of options (easiest method) to choose the best and most suitable one, keeping in view a lot of factors such as, College | Location | Your Interest | Stream Preference | Placement Records | College Culture | Your Short & Long Term Goals | Pressure You Can Go Through | Your AIR & Job Market Condition when you apply for your BTech & Even after.

I hope I have answered to your question with value additions. All the BEST for your Bright Future.

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