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Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Sep 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hello. I want this to be anonymous.
I'm 25 year old and I have been in a relationship for the last 4-5 yrs with my childhood friend .
According to me she is a complete attention seeker and dosent care about my emotions. Like she used to text boys who proposed her and delete the messages which she replied but used to keep the messages which they did and send me that they are flirting with me I never used to ask for those screenshots anyway she herself would send me those says that only they are messaging her even thought she isnt responding once she fogot to delete one message where I caught her and we had a huge fight regarding and then she claimed i have i deleted the messages and I promised she will not repeat it again but she totally did it multiple times and I caught her doing that multiple times and she used to flirt with people who proposed her and once we were have lunch in a restaurant and one person who has intrest in her came to the same place and was sitting behind us and she suddenly stood up and sat infront of me where she could see him or vice-versa like how can she do that when I'm around and there are many other fights she has a best friend she shares with him everything last year I broke up with her due to all these reasons and we pathed up after 2 months , after getting back her friend asked her if she is talking to me or not she simply replied shes not talking to me even though we are fine and happy and just last month one of my cousins was flirting with me and I showed her the messages and was being open to her but never crossed a line but she went behind my back and talked to my cousins elder brother who is my own sister's husband that his sister is flirting with me even thought i myself made it clear there's nothing going on, after all this she is calling me to get back with her and she promises that she won't repeat the mistake never again which she already did n number of times what should I do I'm not fine and I think I'm depressed I'm spoiling my career thinking about this.

Ans:

Looks like this leopard isn't going to change her spots in a hurry, my friend!

She's full of lies and false promises and let me tell you, people rarely change. You have to accept them for who they are.

So, if I were you, I'd end this relationship. She doesn't sound like anyone worth wasting anymore time over.

You'll always be looking over your shoulder, and you'll never be able to trust her.

She's driving you nuts already; it's just time to call it a day with this relationship. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!

 

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1590 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 35, male. We had a love marriage seven years ago after being together for eight years in friendship. During our courtship, she was in other city in India for three years her higher education.There she befriended a guy, her college mate and eventually we broke up. I was hurt badly. In 2013 she messaged me and asked to marry her but I didn't respond on social media. She would message me every 5-6 months initiating a talk but I never responded. She was in a relationship with the guy while she was messaging me (I read her messages post marriage hence I know).She also had one or two guys interested in her where she had casual talk relationship also while she was not interested in marriage with the first guy from her college. Meanwhile she kept messaging me also between 2013 and 2014.Somehow we met in 2015 and got married. Lately I happened to read messages somewhere on social media about her intimate relationship with the first person (the reason we broke up ) and I was devastated to know that as she had promised she didn't have any relationship with the particular person as it was the first condition for marrying her.Recently I read her messages again with some old friend of her where she approached him and instantly got into intimate chat with him to the extent that she said she loves him and plans to go on a trip with him citing official trip since she works. I am stunned since then. She claims to love me and plans our future and everything but somewhere I sense something is fishy.My queries Should I trust her?Should I confront her?What to do if she plans to go on trip with him while lying to me and I know about it? Should I confront her before she goes on trip?If she says sorry after confronting how can I trust?
Ans:

Dear T,

The very fact that you have approached me, a total stranger on the topic of whether you can trust your spouse or not, simply means that somewhere you have lost trust in her.

The timelines are a little confusing to me and hence what I would say to you is that: Past is the past and what happens there and what people do is what they can in the best possible manner. So, do not bring the past into a present decision.

But if there are any parallel relationships brewing now that are threatening your mind and the marriage, kindly confront her calmly and with ample evidence in your kitty to produce in case she denies them. But make sure that the evidence that you have is all real with time stamps on it.

Do make sure that the confrontation is not for you to prove a point and score high but it comes from a place where you want to know where this marriage is headed.

This helps avoid unnecessary arguments and will help you both be in a solution space.

If she says sorry, you need to ask yourself, if you can move ahead placing trust on her again.

What must she do to gain your trust? State this clearly to her. Move on this quickly before it eats your peace of mind.
All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |572 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |572 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, myself is 31 years old guy and I was in relationship with the women (collegue of mine in previous company) who is married and had 1 son and she is 9 years elder then me. Basically I was going through a tough time as I had breakup in 2017 and started drinking and smoking which usually everybody does after a heartbreak. In year 2019 she got to know about my drinking habits and she starting giving her time to me so that I stop all this things. She used to behind me to stop all these things but gradually after a year or so we started developing feelings for each other. We used to talk to a lot like almost we used to share everything and in year 2020 we got into relation and we proposed each other. Everything was fine till 2021. In year 2021 I went for a group picnic where my Ex was also present and my biggest mistake was that I didn't shared this thing with her but she got to know this from one of our common collegue who was also part of the picnic & after that disaster started in our life. She started doubting me that I am still in relation with my Ex but I was not there & continuously I have to prove myself that I don't have any feelings for my ex & I love you only. I was ready to do anything for her even just to surprise her I travel to her city where she went on vacation to her parents house. But unfortunately that was the last time we were together the moment I came to my hometown things started getting worse as she again started doubting me and in anger I just burst on her and after that she stopped talking and bcz of which I went into a depression and due to which I was completely mess was not able to do anything in my life except drinking. Now it has been 2 years that we don't talk except only on some occasion she calls or msg. Still I am having the same feeling for her which I had 3 years back & I need her back in my life. Please suggest me what should I do in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear you are facing such challenges in your life. Doubt and jealousy can ruin a relationship and your relationship is proof of that. While you might not have had bad intentions when you did not reveal your ex being present in the gathering with you, it is also understandable that your partner's trust suffered a crack which finally gave away completely. The thing to learn here is that open communication could have saved you all these sufferings. But that's all in the past. Right now you are separated from your partner and I assume she is not interested in getting back together. Your question should not be how to get her back, but rather how can I move on. Your job is not to convince her but to convince yourself that this is for the best. And it truly is; no relationship can survive in the shadows of doubt.

Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Understand that you made a tiny mistake but you tried your best to convince your partner of your loyalty to her; it did not work out but you are not to blame. Some things just don't, and your relationship was one of those things. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty for not disclosing the situation to your partner. You know you were not a cheater and it's no longer your job to convince her of that. Give yourself ample time to grieve the loss and accept that it's lost. Don't keep looking for ways to get back together or you will never move on. It will hurt in the beginning but it will get better soon. Once you feel better, go out and meet people. I am not saying your ex-partner wasn't great but trust me, there are more people out there, who are amazing; they will help you not just heal but also grow.

It's time to let go.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Hi , I am 42 year married man in love with 37 yr old married girl , her husband is not a good man in every accepts and my wife is same we are with our partners due to children, Our relationship is 14 year old. We lived in different cities which are 6 hour run away from each other , We often meet 2 to 3 times in a month. Before relation with me she was in love another guy (Before marriage) and this was continued after marriage too. After 1 year of marriage her boy friend passes away in an accident and then Then I enter in her life , Now I come to the point from last 2 year due to some differences and due to corona effect we could not meet and our telephonic conversation was very minimum even once in 10 days and due to some financial problems she started a Job in a school , There she meet with a guy and they become closer and physical too and that guy was in relation with another girl too. After 3-4 month I doubt that she is talking with someone else So I asked her directly that question but she denied, By the time we again start meeting frequently Then After more 3-4 months she accepted that she is in relation with another guy, She told me that he looks like his Ex-boyfriend that why she attracted towards him. She give him 35 K Rs , Then I told her that Why she did not tell me that before ?? She reply that she was in trap of that guy because he is in the same school in which she was a teacher. She left that school then she get a courage to told me that all things. She cry a lot an apologizes many times then I told her we can continue if she never talk with him. She agreed after another 3-4 months later she expose another truth that she is in touch with him through Google chat but she never meet him neither she talk him about past on phone , she told me that she only talk with with him to know his well being only. She told me that one day that guy offer him to again physical and after that she started hating him and stop talking him. Now She is teaching in another school and that boy in other school , When ever she shaw him on Road she tells me about that . Now she asking me that if I caught her again cheating then I can do whatever I want. I love her so much and She loves me too Even we remain in touch on phone 10-12 hr in a day. Now my Question is that Can I believe her again ?? That she will not get in touch that boy in future ?? Should I continue this relation ??
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
I am retiring from my Job. I have only 50 lakhs corpus to run my family.Can you please advise where to invest 50 lakh money to get 50000/m monthly income.
Ans: You’ve taken the right first step. With Rs 50 lakhs and a goal of Rs 50,000 monthly income, it is critical to design a well-planned investment strategy.

Understanding the Income Need
You want Rs 50,000 per month, which means Rs 6 lakhs per year.

This works out to about 12% per year of your Rs 50 lakh corpus.

Expecting a 12% withdrawal yearly is risky. The corpus can get exhausted early.

A sustainable withdrawal rate is around 6-8% per year only.

This means Rs 25,000 to Rs 33,000 per month is safer long-term.

So first we need to decide: do we want high income now or stable income for life?

Retirement Stage Planning
At retirement, preservation of money is top priority.

Income generation comes second. Growth comes third.

But inflation will reduce purchasing power. So growth cannot be ignored.

Your portfolio must balance growth, safety and liquidity.

So we use a “bucket strategy”. Let us see what that means.

Bucket-Based Investment Planning
Bucket 1: 2 Years of Expenses
This is for monthly income now. Very low risk.

Keep Rs 12 lakhs in this bucket (Rs 6 lakhs per year × 2 years).

Put it in ultra-short debt funds or senior citizen savings scheme.

This will give you predictable cash flow.

You can set up monthly SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) from this.

Bucket 2: Next 3 to 5 Years
This is for income after 2 years.

Slightly higher return potential. Still low to moderate risk.

Invest Rs 15-20 lakhs in hybrid funds or conservative balanced funds.

These funds have 20-30% equity and rest in bonds.

They aim to beat FD returns, without too much fluctuation.

Bucket 3: Long-Term Growth
Remaining Rs 18-23 lakhs can be invested in pure equity mutual funds.

Choose large and flexi cap funds with regular plans via Certified Financial Planner.

This helps protect your lifestyle 10-15 years from now.

This part grows slowly now, but helps fight inflation later.

How SWP Can Help
SWP means you get monthly income from mutual funds.

You can set a fixed monthly amount like Rs 50,000.

Only the withdrawn amount is taxed, not entire profit.

For equity funds: STCG is taxed at 20%, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

For debt funds: All gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan your SWP smartly, and avoid early redemption from long-term buckets.

Avoid These Mistakes
Don’t invest everything in FD or debt. It won’t beat inflation.

Don’t rely on dividend plans. They are not predictable.

Don’t go for annuities. They lock your capital and give low returns.

Don’t go for direct plans unless you are a full-time expert.

Always go via regular plans with a CFP for advice and monitoring.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds copy the market. No active research is done.

In falling markets, they also fall badly.

They can’t protect you during market shocks.

Actively managed funds give you better risk-adjusted returns over time.

Certified Financial Planners monitor fund quality and help you exit poor performers.

Direct vs Regular Plans
Direct plans have lower cost but no guidance.

You end up making emotional decisions.

Regular plans come with expert advice from Certified Financial Planner.

CFPs give behavioural control, tax planning and fund monitoring.

For retirement, discipline and peace of mind matter more than saving 0.5%.

Inflation and Longevity Risk
Today Rs 50,000 is enough. In 10 years, you may need Rs 90,000.

Life expectancy can go up to 85-90 years.

So your corpus must keep growing even during retirement.

That is why some part must always remain in equity.

Your goal should be to never touch the principal fully.

Rebalancing Every 2 Years
Every 2 years, shift money from Bucket 2 and 3 into Bucket 1.

This way, you refill the income bucket.

Review fund performance, tax laws and personal needs with your CFP.

Don’t withdraw from equity bucket in a bad market year.

Keep 1 year of expenses always safe and liquid.

Emotional Peace is Priority
Retired life should be relaxed. You should not worry every month.

That is why a structured plan works better than ad-hoc FD or real estate.

You get monthly income, principal protection and long-term growth.

Your wife also feels secure with a system in place.

You can focus on health, hobbies and family—not markets.

Do You Hold LIC, ULIP or Insurance-Based Investments?
If yes, surrender them now. These do not give good returns.

Redeem them and reinvest into mutual funds.

Keep term insurance if needed, but no savings-insurance mix.

Review all old products with a Certified Financial Planner.

Final Insights
Rs 50,000 income is possible, but you must plan carefully.

Aim for 6-8% withdrawal rate for long-lasting corpus.

Use 3 buckets for income now, income later, and growth forever.

Avoid annuities, index funds, and direct plans.

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner who understands your retirement dreams.

Review every 2 years and adjust based on expenses and market.

Retirement is not an end. It is a new phase that deserves full financial attention.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
Hi sir. I am 65 yrs old with wife, Sir just to get approx 1 lakh per month for my further life for surviving how much money i required to invest in mutual fund etc . Having own house no rent. Pls advise. Regards
Ans: It is thoughtful to plan for peaceful retirement life.

You have already built a strong foundation. You own a house and have no rent burden. That’s a major relief. Now, your goal is simple and clear—receive about Rs 1 lakh per month to cover expenses for yourself and your wife.

Let me now explain your options and investment plan in a detailed and practical way.

Understanding Your Income Need
Your monthly income requirement is Rs 1 lakh

That is Rs 12 lakhs yearly, for living and medical care

You also want to ensure the money lasts lifelong for you and your wife

This means your investment must give steady monthly income and beat inflation slowly

You will also need some growth, not just fixed income, to maintain purchasing power

Estimating the Ideal Corpus
You are 65 years old. Your financial plan must cover 25 years or more

This is because medical support and expenses increase from 70 years onward

With inflation considered, your Rs 1 lakh monthly need will rise in the future

So, the investment corpus should be large enough to:

Give you Rs 1 lakh per month now

Increase income over time, through partial growth-based funds

Stay safe and not run out before your lifetime

Based on current conditions and long-term returns of mutual funds, you may need Rs 2.1 crores to Rs 2.4 crores approx.

This amount will be divided into different types of funds for safety, income, and growth

If you already have some existing investments, that will reduce the gap

How to Structure the Investment
To ensure income and safety, you need a three-part approach.

Each part has a clear role. This is known as a bucket approach.

Bucket 1: Income Now – High Stability

This bucket gives monthly cash flow from safe and stable sources

Use debt mutual funds (regular plan), which suit retired investors

Only select high-quality, low-risk funds. Do not chase returns here

Choose regular plan and invest through a Certified Financial Planner for tracking and rebalancing

This bucket will cover 3 to 5 years of income, approx. Rs 40 to 60 lakhs

Withdraw monthly from here

Refill this bucket every few years using growth from other buckets

Bucket 2: Income Later – Conservative Growth

This gives returns better than FDs, with moderate risk

Invest in hybrid mutual funds, which balance equity and debt

Prefer regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner for guidance

SIPs are not needed here. Use lump sum with gradual SWP later

This portion may be Rs 60 to 80 lakhs, depending on your comfort

It helps maintain the next 6 to 10 years of income

Bucket 3: Long-Term – Growth and Inflation Protection

Invest in carefully selected diversified equity mutual funds

Choose active funds with experienced fund managers

Do not use direct funds. Use regular plan via a CFP for right entry, exit and strategy

This bucket keeps growing silently and will beat inflation

Withdraw only after 7 to 10 years, in parts, to refill Bucket 1

Allocate Rs 70 lakhs to Rs 90 lakhs here

This part ensures your funds don’t run out at 80 or 85 years

This three-bucket structure keeps your income stable. It also grows your money silently. You don’t have to sell equity in a bad year.

Why Mutual Funds and Not Fixed Deposits?
FDs give low returns. They do not beat inflation

FDs are fully taxable as per slab, unlike mutual funds

FDs do not allow gradual withdrawal (SWP)

In FDs, once you exhaust the amount, there's no backup

Debt mutual funds in regular plan allow you to withdraw monthly, and rebalance annually

Long-term capital gains tax on equity mutual funds is only 12.5% after Rs 1.25 lakh gain, which is efficient

Tax is only paid when gains are withdrawn

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your slab, but only on redemption

All this makes mutual funds more flexible and tax-smart than FDs

Why Not Index Funds or Direct Funds?
Index funds are passive. They don’t adapt to market risk or sector weakness

In retirement, you need funds that protect capital, not just follow markets

Index funds cannot avoid bad sectors or weak companies

Active mutual funds managed by experienced fund managers give more stability in volatile years

Direct funds have lower expense ratio, but no advisor or help when markets fall

At your age, you need review, support, and guidance, not DIY investing

A Certified Financial Planner will help you adjust your SWP, rebalance funds, and guide redemptions

So, prefer regular plans via a CFP who understands retirement planning

Do not take risk with direct funds or online platforms without guidance

How Much to Withdraw?
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) instead of withdrawing full amounts

Withdraw Rs 1 lakh monthly from debt bucket for 3 to 4 years

After that, shift matured growth from hybrid and equity funds to refill Bucket 1

This way, you are not touching equity money during market lows

Your capital remains safe, and money flows monthly like a pension

Withdraw only what you need, not extra

What If You Live Longer?
This is the most important concern in retirement planning

Your corpus must last at least 25 to 30 years

That’s why we kept a large equity portion to grow with time

Medical inflation, caregiving, and lifestyle will change in 15 to 20 years

You must prepare now, not later

This structure ensures you never run out of money, and your capital can outlive you

What About Health Emergencies?
Keep a separate emergency fund of Rs 5 to 7 lakhs for medical support

Do not mix it with mutual fund buckets

Prefer senior citizen health plans, even if costly. Premium is worth it

If you already have a plan, great. But renew carefully each year

Medical inflation is nearly 10% per year now

Avoid depending on children or borrowing for health care

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals
Equity mutual fund gains beyond Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at only 12.5%

If you withdraw in small parts, tax is reduced

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per slab, but only when you redeem

Use SWP to keep yearly gains below threshold

Regular plan through CFP ensures you plan withdrawals and avoid heavy tax in one year

Do not redeem all at once. That will trigger higher tax

Review and Rebalance Every Year
Sit with your Certified Financial Planner once a year

Review performance of each bucket

Shift from growth to income bucket as needed

Reduce exposure to equity slowly after 75 years, if required

You can also leave extra funds as inheritance for spouse or children

This review ensures discipline, control, and peace of mind

Final Insights
To get Rs 1 lakh monthly, you may need Rs 2.1 to Rs 2.4 crore corpus

Divide this wisely into three buckets for income, safety, and growth

Avoid FDs, index funds, and direct funds. They may hurt your long-term financial safety

Regular mutual funds via a Certified Financial Planner give support, safety, and flexibility

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans to create a pension-like flow

Keep an emergency fund for medical expenses separately

Review portfolio yearly and adjust slowly. Don’t panic in market changes

Your wife’s future must be protected even after you. This structure ensures that too

You have lived wisely. Now, invest wisely to live peacefully

If you share the exact amount available for investing, I can show the exact plan in numbers. You may also explore a written financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner for even more clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Money
Hi , Need help , my brother in law has decesed and left shares in USA which is he got as part of his compensation and benefits , the broking firm says that they dont have beneficiary process , hw do get that transffered to my sister who is legal hire
Ans: I’m very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s passing. In such times, handling legal and financial formalities can feel overwhelming. But don’t worry—we’ll walk through this step by step in a clear and practical way.

Let’s now see how to help your sister claim those US shares in a structured and smooth process.

Step 1: Understand the Account Type
First, confirm if the shares were held in a brokerage account (like E*TRADE, Schwab, Fidelity, etc.)

If it's an individual account, and there is no named beneficiary, then it becomes part of the estate

If it’s a joint account or transfer-on-death (TOD) account, transfer may be easier. But as you said, no beneficiary process, so likely an individual account

Step 2: Contact the Brokerage Firm
Your sister (as legal heir) must inform the broker of the death, in writing

Include death certificate copy and ask them for their formal estate transmission process

Every broker has a survivor claim or estate settlement team—you must reach them

Even if they don't have a "beneficiary form", they will have a probate transfer process

Step 3: Probate and Court Documents
Since there is no beneficiary, the assets will be distributed based on:

Will, if your brother-in-law made one, or

US State intestacy laws, if there was no Will

So:

Your sister needs to check which US state the brokerage account was in (where it was opened or where he worked/lived)

She needs to apply for probate in that US state or seek a court order to declare her as legal representative of the estate

This will likely need:

Death certificate (with apostille, if required)

Proof of relation (marriage certificate, if she is wife, or legal heirship certificate)

No objection from other legal heirs (if needed)

A US-based probate attorney can help if it's complex

Step 4: Prepare Essential Documents
Usually, the brokerage will ask for:

Original or notarized copy of the Death Certificate

Court-certified documents showing your sister as the executor or legal heir

Letter of Testamentary or Letter of Administration from US court

ID proof and address proof of the claimant

W-8BEN form, if she is not a US citizen/resident (this is for non-resident tax purposes)

Step 5: Tax Withholding and Reporting
US stocks may have capital gains or dividends subject to US tax rules

If the shares are transferred or sold later, the IRS may withhold tax for non-resident heirs

Your sister should consult a tax advisor in India for Indian tax obligations on these shares (especially if sold and proceeds brought to India)

Step 6: Receiving the Shares or Funds
Once the brokerage accepts all documents, she has two options:

Transfer shares to her own brokerage account (in USA or India, depending on broker’s policy)

Or, sell the shares and get proceeds wired to her bank account in India (this may take 4–6 weeks)

She must keep:

Copies of all forms submitted

Tax statements and brokerage letters

Confirmation of transfer/sale, for her own IT return in India

Final Insights
The process may take 2 to 4 months, depending on state laws and document completeness

Please avoid any panic sales or agents who promise shortcuts

Stick to the official channel of the brokerage firm and US court for a smooth, legal transmission

A probate attorney in the US may be required if the estate is large or complex

A Certified Financial Planner in India can help with reinvesting those proceeds wisely after they are received

Helping your sister through this legal maze is a powerful support. She needs clarity and calm guidance, and you’re doing the right thing by seeking this advice.

If you need help connecting with US-based estate attorneys or structuring her future investment in India post-transfer, I’ll be happy to help.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Dear Sir / Madam, I purchased a flat for Rs 29.3L on Sept 2013. The registration cost was Rs 1,46,500/-. I sold the flat for Rs 89L on Feb 2025. The brokerage fees was Rs 1.5L. How much would be the capital gains amount that I need to invest in Capital gains bonds ? Which tax regime would result in lesser tax, the earlier tax regime or the revised tax regime of last year Thanks Jay
Ans: You’ve clearly explained the purchase cost, sale value, and related expenses. That helps a lot in giving an accurate and comprehensive answer.

Let us now assess your capital gains liability, step by step, and guide you on how much to invest in capital gains bonds, along with which tax regime may benefit you more.

Understanding Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG)
Since you purchased the flat in September 2013 and sold it in February 2025, the holding period is more than 24 months.

So this is classified as a long-term capital asset.

Therefore, the profit from this sale is considered as Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) and taxed accordingly.

Indexed Cost of Acquisition
To calculate LTCG, we must use the Indexed Cost of Acquisition, as per the Cost Inflation Index (CII).

Let’s now list down the known values:

Purchase Price = Rs 29.3 lakhs

Registration Charges = Rs 1.465 lakhs

Total Purchase Cost = Rs 30.765 lakhs

Year of Purchase = FY 2013-14 → CII = 220

Year of Sale = FY 2024-25 → CII = 363

Now apply indexation:

Indexed Purchase Cost = (Original Cost × CII in year of sale) ÷ CII in year of purchase

So:

Indexed Cost = (30.765 × 363) ÷ 220 = approx Rs 50.79 lakhs

Net Sale Proceeds
Sale Price = Rs 89 lakhs

Brokerage paid = Rs 1.5 lakhs

Net Sale Consideration = Rs 87.5 lakhs

Long-Term Capital Gain
Now compute the LTCG:

LTCG = Net Sale Value – Indexed Purchase Cost

= Rs 87.5 lakhs – Rs 50.79 lakhs = Rs 36.71 lakhs (approx)

This is your taxable long-term capital gain.

Exemption via Capital Gains Bonds (Section 54EC)
You can invest in capital gains bonds under Section 54EC to save tax.

Eligible bonds are from REC, NHAI, etc.

Maximum investment allowed = Rs 50 lakhs per financial year

Minimum lock-in period = 5 years

Interest = around 5.25% p.a. (taxable)

In your case:

LTCG is approx Rs 36.71 lakhs

So, invest Rs 36.71 lakhs in Section 54EC bonds before 6 months from date of sale (i.e., by August 2025)

This will give you 100% LTCG exemption

Earlier vs Revised Tax Regime
Here is how to think about it:

Earlier Regime:
Allows deductions like Section 80C, 80D, HRA, LTA, and home loan interest.

LTCG tax on property is 20% after indexation. This applies in both regimes.

However, if you have many deductions, earlier regime may reduce total tax.

New Regime (as per Budget 2023-24 onwards):
Lower slab rates but no major deductions allowed

LTCG tax on property remains the same – no extra benefit here

So the decision depends on your other income and deductions

In most cases:

If you claim 80C, 80D, housing loan, etc., then earlier regime is better

If your income is purely salary, and you don’t claim deductions, then new regime may help

But in your case, LTCG tax remains same in both

Additional Tips
Capital Gains Bonds must be held for 5 years. Premature exit is not allowed.

Interest is taxable every year. So factor that into your ITR.

Keep bank receipts, bond certificates, and sale documents safely for 6+ years.

File Schedule CG in ITR-2 next year (AY 2025–26)

What If You Don’t Want to Invest in Bonds?
You can also save LTCG tax by buying a new residential property under Section 54

Property must be bought within 2 years (or constructed within 3 years)

If planning to reinvest in property, do it within deadline

If not, 54EC bonds are simpler, more flexible

Final Insights
Your capital gain is around Rs 36.71 lakhs

Invest that amount in 54EC bonds before August 2025

You can save 100% capital gains tax legally

Choose earlier tax regime if you have deductions like 80C, housing loan, etc.

Keep proofs for cost, sale, brokerage, and 54EC investment for future tax queries

Plan carefully. This one-time decision affects your long-term finances

If you want help calculating future taxes or planning retirement income from property sales, always consult a Certified Financial Planner. It’s not just about tax-saving—it’s about protecting your wealth over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2025Hindi
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Eps. Calculate. Pension. Up to. 58. Yr. but. I. Contribute. Upstox. 60. Yers. Deferred. What. Should. I. Do
Ans: You are asking about EPS (Employee Pension Scheme) and contributing till age 60, while pension is allowed only up to age 58.

This is a very common confusion.

Pension Under EPS Is Payable From 58 Years
EPS gives monthly pension after 58 years.

You must have completed at least 10 years of service.

From 58 years, you can start monthly pension under EPS.

This is not automatic. You have to apply through your employer or EPFO.

What Happens If You Work Till Age 60?
EPS allows voluntary contribution up to age 60.

This is called deferred pension.

If you delay pension from age 58 to 60, you get a bonus.

Bonus is 4% extra pension for each deferred year.

So, 8% more pension if you start at 60 instead of 58.

What You Should Do
If you plan to work till 60, you can continue EPS till then.

You will contribute 12% EPF as usual. Employer’s share will go to EPF + EPS.

When you retire at 60, apply for Form 10D to start pension.

You will get 8% higher pension than normal.

If You Don’t Want to Wait Till 60
You can still start pension at 58.

Just inform EPFO that you want to begin EPS from 58.

No bonus in that case. But you get pension earlier.

Important Reminders
EPS amount is fixed, based on salary and service years.

EPS is not linked to EPF balance or mutual fund returns.

Maximum EPS pension is usually around Rs 7,500/month, unless you opted for higher pension.

You cannot withdraw EPS corpus — only monthly pension allowed.

What Is “Higher Pension”?
EPFO recently gave an option to opt for higher pension.

That means, full employer contribution (8.33%) goes to EPS, not capped at Rs 15,000 salary.

You must apply before the deadline.

It gives more pension, but reduces EPF balance.

If you haven’t applied for higher pension, your EPS will be based on Rs 15,000 salary cap.

Final Insights
EPS pension starts from 58 years, not automatically. You must apply.

You can defer to 60 for 8% extra pension.

Contribution can continue till 60 if you keep working.

Higher pension option may be useful if your salary was above Rs 15,000 for long.

Talk to your employer’s HR or visit EPFO portal to check your service record and eligibility.

Your next step should be to decide whether you want to defer EPS or not.

Then, plan how to combine EPF, EPS, and other investments for retirement income.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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