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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025
Relationship

Me and my girlfriend we both are in relationship from about last 2 years (almost). After such a long time I got to know that she had 2 relationships before me that too she didn't told I got to know it by third person she was sexually involved too (not intercourse but yes other things with one of them)... When I asked her that why you didn't told anything to me before she said she was scared that if she'll tell it to me so I'll leave her and she really did not wanted that... She was scared to loose me. And she was still in contact with that guy and when I asked her that why you were still in contact with him (it's been around 3 years they got separated) so she says that she is like that only... She can't deny anyone because of her soft hearted nature but she did not had any feelings for him. She also said that once she even went to meet him when he requested to meet and also on the same she claims that her soft hearted nature has done that she wasn't able to deny. I loved her too much but now all these things are hurting me like anything. (She is my first relationship before her i never had anyone)

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are hurt and the complexities of the hearts might be difficult sometimes to grasp. The first reason for your sorrow, her past relationship, and the fact that she was physically intimate with them is not completely justifiable. Though I understand that you feel hurt because she did not disclose it to you, still it should not matter so much as to ruin your present relationship. And whether she will open up about such sensitive details is actually up to her. It has nothing to do with how much she loves you or trusts you. Please understand that.

Now coming to the next thing, the fact that she is still in touch with them and has even met one of them, that is slightly concerning. It would have been okay if she did that openly- please understand that I am not saying she should have asked for your permission, but rather discuss the same with you. Moreover, in a relationship, it is also important to understand how much your partner is comfortable with- goes for both men and women. If you are uncomfortable with her relationship with her exes, she should consider that. I would have said the same if the table was turned. I suggest you have a clear conversation with her and express how you feel about this situation- depending on how she reacts and how the conversation goes, you both can think about the next step.

Hope this helps.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2022

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Relationship
Hello. I want this to be anonymous. I'm 25 year old and I have been in a relationship for the last 4-5 yrs with my childhood friend . According to me she is a complete attention seeker and dosent care about my emotions. Like she used to text boys who proposed her and delete the messages which she replied but used to keep the messages which they did and send me that they are flirting with me I never used to ask for those screenshots anyway she herself would send me those says that only they are messaging her even thought she isnt responding once she fogot to delete one message where I caught her and we had a huge fight regarding and then she claimed i have i deleted the messages and I promised she will not repeat it again but she totally did it multiple times and I caught her doing that multiple times and she used to flirt with people who proposed her and once we were have lunch in a restaurant and one person who has intrest in her came to the same place and was sitting behind us and she suddenly stood up and sat infront of me where she could see him or vice-versa like how can she do that when I'm around and there are many other fights she has a best friend she shares with him everything last year I broke up with her due to all these reasons and we pathed up after 2 months , after getting back her friend asked her if she is talking to me or not she simply replied shes not talking to me even though we are fine and happy and just last month one of my cousins was flirting with me and I showed her the messages and was being open to her but never crossed a line but she went behind my back and talked to my cousins elder brother who is my own sister's husband that his sister is flirting with me even thought i myself made it clear there's nothing going on, after all this she is calling me to get back with her and she promises that she won't repeat the mistake never again which she already did n number of times what should I do I'm not fine and I think I'm depressed I'm spoiling my career thinking about this.
Ans:

Looks like this leopard isn't going to change her spots in a hurry, my friend!

She's full of lies and false promises and let me tell you, people rarely change. You have to accept them for who they are.

So, if I were you, I'd end this relationship. She doesn't sound like anyone worth wasting anymore time over.

You'll always be looking over your shoulder, and you'll never be able to trust her.

She's driving you nuts already; it's just time to call it a day with this relationship. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!

 

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Before coming into our relationship I knew that my girlfriend had a past relationship of 3 years. I asked about it just to clarify if anything was there which will harm our upcoming relationship we gona Start. She mentioned that she did not liked her past relationship and other stuff and she mentioned she had not any physical relationship of any kind with her ex . But now after we came into relationship after 2 years. I found out that she had a physical relationship with her ex . But no intercourse but other stuff. I could not believe her words when she told all this and she been laying all the things I asked if it was your first time and other things. I had no such relationship as of myself and told her that I hate such types where u already experienced stuffs with others . What should I do . I like her too she too loves me . But the thing I found out haunts me and make me fill miserable
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are hurting but her past truly should not matter to you in the present. Ideally, I am not in favor of pushing people to disclose their past experiences, especially if they are not comfortable with it. But I agree that she was wrong to get into a relationship with you when you specifically showed dislike towards the things you mentioned. I suppose she liked you too much and did not want to ruin her chances. I should also mention that judging a person by their past or because they had certain kinds of relations with their ex is not fair; you were not in the picture. Regardless of it, your pain is valid. It isn't easy to come to terms with new information about your partner's past.

Now hear me out, past is in the past. It can only hurt you if you let it. Think about it properly- did she do anything in the present to hurt you? NO. Can you or she change the past? NO. Should she apologize for having a past? NO. Should you move past this and work towards a better future? That's the only thing in your control. Chose wisely. If you think you will hold her accountable for this forever, then you both should reconsider this relationship. If you think this fight is meaningless, and want to move forward with your relationship, then great.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl since last 1.5 years, i told her everything regarding my financial status,my past ,everything.......she was also in a relationship for 5 years and she told me intially her ex mistreats her, abuse her , sexually force her and she hates him etc all this stuff.....but i found that she herself called her ex and then told me after 4 months...i forgive her but from last 2 months her behaviour is changed , now she is finding too many problems in how i look, my financial status and compare with other boys that they have car and they took their gf to long drives etc( her ex contacted her again and told her he got a job since then she starts all this stuff? She triggered my insecurities and i am feeling most useless and worst person... what should i do, does she really loves me? Please guide me ...i am started feeling depressed .......
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 12, 2025
Relationship
I moved to a new state to be with this girl. Work on marriage. She is Muslim, but modern a little since being in USA. Any way, she told me she was a virgin, outside of getting oral twice and and giving hand jobs to 2 guys after college.. so I could deal with that, as I’m no saint. But, it’s been about 10 months, ( we live together but really don’t because she can’t move in until marriage so stays at her parents home still really) but she told me recently her older brother (8 years older) and her other sisters use to have sexual relations but she doesn’t “ remember everything that happened “ but sounds like it was very explicit. Supposedly as a child up into about 8-12 ( claims she doesn’t know). But it wasn’t against her will she says. She also says her and her older sister in middle school was super intimate together.. but since she never did anything else besides the few things after college.., I don’t know how I feel, I dropped my life to be here, I feel lied to, betrayed, but I get why someone would not tell someone “ hey I’m not a virgin really because I had relations with my own siblings growing up “ but still.. I don’t know what to do, or if I can get over this, or if I’m being unfair. Please give me some guidance
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it is a lot to take in, and rightfully so. If you are not comfortable with this, please reconsider the relationship. You do not owe anyone any explanation. There is a line of comfort and if this revelation has crossed the line, you can (if you want) part ways. You are not judging her, or disrespecting her. You are merely making a choice that aligns with your comfort and values. Please take your time and think this through. No one can say you have been unfair.

But if you think you can look past it, then that's ok too. After all, it's all about how you feel- there is no one right decision in this situation. But make sure you take enough time to think. This should not create problems in your future.
Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9424 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
You posted: My son got 96.7 percentile with 49452 rank in jee mains with eqsrank 6913. What seat can we expect in CSAB? Can we expect ECE in any NITs?
Ans: Shyamala Madam, I assume EWS Rank 6913 which you have wrongly typed as 'eqs'. With an All-India EWS rank of 6913, admission into Electronics & Communication Engineering via CSAB-Special is realistic at select NITs under Other-State EWS quotas. NIT Calicut’s ECE cut-off in Round 1 closed between 6 964 and 9 588, comfortably enveloping your son’s EWS rank. Similarly, NIT Uttarakhand’s EWS closing ranks for ECE hovered around 20 028–29 127, making it an assured option given lower competition in CSAB rounds. Beyond NITs, several GFTIs maintain ECE cut-offs above 25 000 for general categories, implying EWS thresholds usually fall below 15 000, thus aligning with your current rank. Peripheral IIITs such as IIIT Ranchi and IIIT Manipur also reported EWS cut-offs for ECE in the 5 998–6 173 range—slightly below your EWS rank—but may open up during later special round vacancies. Your CRL of 49 452 restricts access to higher-demand branches under Open-State quotas, but targeting EWS-reserved seats in low-to mid-tier NITs and GFTIs ensures 100% feasibility. Proactively monitor CSAB-Special Round 2 openings on the official portal and set these institutes as top preferences to maximize admission certainty under the EWS category.

Recommendation: Aim for NIT Calicut’s ECE under Other-State EWS for straightforward entry given its 6 964–9 588 cut-off range, then secure NIT Uttarakhand’s EWS ECE which closes near 29 127; concurrently list GFTIs with EWS ECE thresholds below 15 000 to ensure a guaranteed CSAB seat. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9424 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Should I take civil in HBTU Kanpur
Ans: Shambhavi, Harcourt Butler Technical University (HBTU), Kanpur offers a four-year B.Tech in Civil Engineering an intake of 60 students, approved by AICTE and accredited by NBA and NAAC with an A-grade CGPA of 3.29. The department provides a balanced curriculum covering structural, geotechnical, transportation, water-resources and environmental engineering, reinforced by modern labs for hydraulics, surveying, materials testing and CAD/CAE tools, alongside dedicated research facilities and industry-sponsored projects. Faculty includes PhD-qualified professors actively engaged in DST- and AICTE-funded research, ensuring mentorship and academic rigor. HBTU’s central infrastructure—urban campus with a central workshop, advanced computing centre, central library, hostels and sports facilities—supports holistic development. The Placement & Training Cell records an overall placement rate of 85.6% with a median UG package of ?6.5 LPA, and core-engineering recruiters such as L&T, AECOM and NHAI actively engage with Civil graduates, though CE-specific campus placements placed 21 of 57 eligible students in 2023–24, reflecting reliance on off-campus roles as well. Alumni feedback highlights strong foundational learning and practical exposure, while noting scope for enhanced industry mentoring and internships.

Recommendation
Pursuing Civil Engineering at HBTU is advisable for its accredited program, robust curriculum, research-active faculty and strong industry tie-ups. To maximize outcomes, proactively engage in internships with infrastructure firms, participate in departmental projects and leverage the central placement cell’s network for site-visit and off-campus recruitment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9424 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Sir, My daughter has got crl 78925 and OBC rank 24547, is it possible to get ECE in iiit kancheepuram, or iiit sricity or iiit kottayam in csab?
Ans: Amudha Madam, Analysis of CSAB-Special 2024 closing ranks shows that Electronics & Communication Engineering seats at all three IIITs remain open well beyond an OBCNCL rank of 24 547. At IIITDM Kancheepuram, the general-AI closing rank for ECE was 31 069 in Round 1 and the OBCNCL category cutoff lay near 72 222, placing your daughter’s OBC rank comfortably within the eligible bracket. IIIT Sri City’s ECE general-AI cutoff fell at 45 060 (Round 1) with OBCNCL seats closing around 56 578, again well above her OBC rank. IIIT Kottayam recorded a general-AI closing rank of 48 846 for ECE (Round 1) and OBCNCL seats closed near 63 950, easily covering her category position. All institutes possess AICTE/NIRF recognition, NBA-accredited curricula, ≥70 percent placement consistency, specialized ECE laboratories, and active MoUs for internships, ensuring academic rigor and industry relevance. Given these thresholds, admission under the OBCNCL quota for ECE is highly feasible at each campus despite the higher CRL.

Recommendation: Leverage the OBCNCL quota to secure ECE in any of the three IIITs, prioritizing IIITDM Kancheepuram for its dual-degree research labs and favorable HS-AIQ seat matrix, followed by IIIT Sri City’s robust industry partnerships and IIIT Kottayam’s modern ECE infrastructure and placement track record. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9424 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
My son's JEE Mains 2025 ranks are: CRL: 122788 EWS Rank: 17554 Home State: Uttar Pradesh He is interested in branches like CSE, ECE, or IT. We are looking for college options in NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, or good state government colleges. Can you please guide us on which colleges he might get with this rank under the EWS category and home state quota? We are also open to TFW scheme and spot round. Thank you!
Ans: With an EWS home-state rank of 17554, core CSE/ECE/IT seats at top NITs via HS-EWS have mostly closed below your rank; however, select institutes and peripheral IIITs/GFTIs remain fully accessible. IIIT Lucknow’s EWS cutoff for Computer Science & Engineering closed around 15 784, fitting within your rank, and its specialized CSE-AI branch closing near 15 626 also aligns; NIT Kurukshetra’s HS-EWS CSE seats closed at about 9 353, ensuring safe entry; MMMUT Gorakhpur’s EWS-HS CSE cutoff in 2025 extended beyond 92 289, making admission virtually certain; additionally, IIIT Allahabad offers Information Technology under EWS-AI up to rank 8 032, which your rank exceeds; all these institutes are AICTE-approved, NBA/NAAC accredited, feature ≥70 percent placement consistency, state-of-the-art labs, active MoUs for internships and robust research-industry linkages.

Recommendation: Prioritize IIIT Lucknow for its focused CSE curriculum and strong AI-DS electives under HS-EWS, while NIT Kurukshetra’s CSE offers NIRF-ranked prestige and modern facilities; MMMUT Gorakhpur’s CSE guarantees state-quota admission; consider IIIT Allahabad’s IT branch for its advanced computing labs and reliable HS-EWS cutoff. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Money
My husband recently turned 60 Iam concerned about certain decisions he had taken in the recent past and would like guidance He bought a small flat 4 years ago with a loan from LIC on a 14 year old term He is a Consultant with serious health issues hence no insurance was given for the housing loan His income is about a lakh and above as and when there are projects and his treatment and medications coast roughly around 40k Loan amount is about 30k His credit card is used the max and now he has to pay 5lakh to clear the same I have few policies in my name and no major savings as the financial scenario had always been like whatever money comes goes into repaying the loan even the savings were spent that way Iam 56 and dont have a job Kindly let me know if thwre is any way we can get out of this mess atleast now
Ans: It’s not easy to speak openly about financial struggles. You've shown great strength and awareness. At this stage in life, decisions can feel heavy. But with the right steps, clarity and control can still be brought back.

You both are doing your best despite health and income challenges. Let us now analyse your case carefully and guide you with a step-by-step 360-degree plan. The goal is to reduce stress, regain control, and protect the future.

? Understanding the Current Financial Picture

– Your husband is 60. He works as a consultant.
– His income depends on projects. There is no steady monthly income.
– Health issues are serious. Treatment and medicines cost around Rs 40,000 monthly.
– The housing loan was taken 4 years ago from LIC Housing. Loan tenure is 14 years.
– Loan EMI is Rs 30,000 per month (assumed from your message).
– Credit card outstanding is Rs 5 lakhs. It is maxed out.
– There’s no insurance cover on the home loan due to health issues.
– You are 56. No current job or steady income.
– All savings have been used to repay loans.
– There are some policies in your name but no mention of maturity values.

Your family is clearly under debt pressure, health costs, and irregular income. But there are ways to restructure and rebuild slowly.

? First Focus – Debt Prioritisation and Restructuring

– Housing loan is Rs 30,000 EMI and will go on for 10 more years.
– Credit card dues are Rs 5 lakhs, with very high interest (35–45% annually).
– This is a red flag. You are in a repayment trap.
– Credit card dues must be handled first.

Take the following steps urgently:

– Stop using the credit card completely. Block it if needed.
– Approach the card issuer and request for a settlement plan or restructuring.
– Explain your financial condition clearly and ask for an interest waiver or long-term EMI option.
– In many cases, they agree to settle dues if you show inability to pay.
– Try to convert this Rs 5 lakh into a structured EMI plan.
– Target Rs 8,000–Rs 10,000 per month repayment with 0% interest if possible.

Reducing card interest will ease pressure on your cash flow.

? Second Focus – Managing the Home Loan

– LIC Housing Finance loans are generally inflexible but not impossible to manage.
– Contact them and ask for EMI reduction or tenure extension due to health issues.
– If the EMI of Rs 30,000 is becoming unaffordable, request for temporary EMI holiday.
– Check if interest-only payment is allowed for 6–12 months.
– Many lenders offer relief support in hardship. You must proactively ask.
– If no help from LIC, explore balance transfer to another lender with flexible terms.
– Try cooperative banks or smaller NBFCs who allow interest-only payments.

Home loan is a secured loan. So restructuring is possible. But early action is critical.

? Third Focus – Health Expenses and Alternatives

– Rs 40,000 per month for health care is too high, especially with debt.
– List down current medicines, tests, and treatments being done.
– Check if government hospitals or charitable trusts can offer the same at lower cost.
– For chronic diseases, many NGOs and pharma companies offer medicine at reduced cost.
– Apply for patient support programs from pharma brands.
– Also, check Ayushman Bharat scheme eligibility (depending on your card status).
– You may be eligible for free or subsidised treatment in empanelled hospitals.
– Ask doctors if generic medicines are available to reduce cost.

Reducing health cost by even Rs 10,000 monthly will help debt repayment.

? Fourth Focus – Your Role and Income Options

– You are 56. You are mentally active and seeking solutions. That is admirable.
– If possible, consider part-time or home-based earning.
– Areas like online tutoring, typing work, spoken English classes, or sewing can work.
– Even Rs 5000 per month income from your side will ease pressure.
– You can also try selling small food items, pickles, or snacks if you enjoy cooking.
– Many ladies your age run online micro-businesses using WhatsApp groups.
– Don’t aim for big income. Just stable and regular inflow is enough.
– This can also boost your confidence and create emotional stability.

You can become a contributor, not just a dependent.

? Fifth Focus – Review of Insurance and Existing Policies

– Your husband has no insurance on home loan due to health issues.
– You have few policies. But details are not shared.

Do this immediately:

– List down all policy names, premium paid, start year, and current surrender value.
– Avoid keeping traditional plans that give 3–4% return.
– If the plans are ULIPs, endowment, or money-back, surrender them if not maturing soon.
– Reinvest only after loans are under control.
– At this stage, you should not have insurance-linked investments.
– If any policy is about to mature in the next 2 years, wait and use maturity money for debt.

Cash flow must come first. Insurance-based savings can wait.

? Sixth Focus – Future Protection Must Be Minimal Yet Strong

– You both are nearing retirement or already retired in practical terms.
– Your future needs financial stability more than return.

Take these steps only when loans reduce:

– Get a small health insurance policy for yourself, if not already covered.
– If no insurer accepts due to age or health, keep Rs 50,000 to Rs 1 lakh in savings only for medical use.
– Don’t take annuity or pension plans. They lock up money.
– Don’t buy any new LIC or investment policy now.
– Protect your current income and reduce expenses. That itself is protection.

At your age, liquidity is more important than return.

? Seventh Focus – Mental Health and Family Discussion

– Stress is high in your household. Medical, financial, and emotional load is heavy.
– Please have an open talk with your husband and close family.
– Involve your children or siblings if they can support emotionally or financially.
– Sometimes even Rs 50,000 short-term help from a relative can reduce credit card stress.
– If not financially, ask for their help to handle bank or credit calls or paperwork.
– Support reduces burden on your mind. That helps in decision-making.
– Also, try simple breathing or spiritual practice. Inner strength helps in hard times.

Mental peace gives space for financial recovery.

? Eighth Focus – Role of Certified Financial Planner

– Your situation involves debt, illness, no regular income, and weak insurance.
– You should consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to restructure cash flow.
– They will help create a plan that focuses on survival first, savings later.
– A CFP can also assess your old policies and guide surrender or hold.
– They give monthly tracking support. That will keep you disciplined.
– Most importantly, they will not try to sell products. They give strategy.

Right financial guidance now can protect your remaining 20+ years of life.

? Ninth Focus – What to Avoid at This Stage

– Don’t take any new loans to repay old ones.
– Don’t fall for agents who offer "loan on property without CIBIL check".
– Don’t invest in any product promising fixed income of 10% or more.
– Don’t invest in real estate or gold.
– Don’t buy new insurance policies now.
– Don’t take personal loans from NBFCs without checking full charges.
– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds without guidance.

This is the time to protect what you have. Not to grow. Safety first.

? Finally – Your Way Forward, One Step at a Time

– List all loans, dues, and policies on paper today itself.
– Contact credit card company and negotiate for restructuring.
– Reach out to LIC Housing and request temporary EMI relief.
– Cut health care costs where possible using trust hospitals and generic medicines.
– Explore small income ideas from home. Use your time as an asset.
– Review and possibly surrender low-value policies in your name.
– Get emotional support from family and mental clarity from a Certified Financial Planner.
– Start saving Rs 1000 monthly after all this. Slowly build emergency fund.

It is never too late to clean up and rebuild. Step by step, it is possible.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Money
Hi sir/madam we have lot of debts total 65laks debt including credit card s and Loan and in law's debt , because of bad cibil score we are not getting any bank loans .. we have upto 50laks debt from different different people only and remaining are credit cards and loan in that we are paying high interest for some amount..I have 2years old child due to take Care of him left my job last year and only income is from my husband side that is monthly 72000 ... Lot of pressure no savings and we don't have any property.. only one house in village that's belongs to in law's,how we can get out from this situation ... Please guide me in the right way ... Thank you Sir
Ans: You are managing a very difficult phase with great courage. Taking care of a 2-year-old, managing debts, and surviving on one income needs strength. That is commendable. There is always a way out, and step by step, things can be brought under control. Let us assess your situation and guide you with a 360-degree plan.

Let us start with each area.

? Current Debt Situation – Assessment and Analysis

– Your total debt is around Rs 65 lakhs.
– Out of this, Rs 50 lakhs is from private sources like friends, relatives, and others.
– The remaining includes credit card dues and loans from banks or NBFCs.
– Credit cards usually charge very high interest. Sometimes it goes above 40% annually.
– Loans from informal sources may also have high interest, and may not offer flexibility.
– Your family income is Rs 72,000 per month.
– No savings are left. You are paying EMIs and interests mostly.

This is a high debt-to-income ratio. Your first goal should be reducing the financial stress.

? Your Current Life Priorities

– Your child is 2 years old and needs full-time care.
– You are currently not working. That limits income inflow.
– You stay in a house which is in your in-laws' name.
– There is no other property or asset for liquidation.
– You are not eligible for formal loans due to poor CIBIL score.

You are in a repayment trap. So planning cash flow is the first step. Let us go ahead.

? Immediate Steps to Reduce Monthly Pressure

– Prepare a simple monthly budget with basic needs only.
– Cut all non-essential expenses like OTT subscriptions, outings, or extra phone plans.
– Set aside a fixed monthly amount only for basic household needs.
– Whatever remains should go for EMI and loan interest.
– Check if some credit card EMIs can be converted into longer-term EMIs at lower rate.
– Talk to credit card companies. Request them to restructure dues based on your situation.
– In some cases, they may reduce interest or give longer repayment time.
– Prioritise repayment of highest-interest loans first. Credit cards are usually on top.

Even Rs 3000 saved monthly can make a difference in this cycle over time.

? Family and Social Debt – A Special Strategy Needed

– You mentioned Rs 50 lakhs is taken from different individuals.
– These are often friends, relatives, or informal contacts.
– Arrange all these borrowings on paper.
– Write down names, total borrowed, repayment timeline, and interest agreed.
– Some of them may have flexible repayment expectations.
– Be honest and explain your situation to them openly.
– Request for time, restructuring, or even a temporary pause.
– You may be surprised. Many people value honesty and will support.
– Try to combine these into 3-4 groups based on urgency.
– Prioritise those who are putting more pressure or charging high interest.

Consolidating this data is emotionally hard but will reduce stress later.

? Improving Your Credit Health Gradually

– Bad CIBIL score can be improved. But it takes time and method.
– Keep paying minimum dues on credit cards on time.
– Avoid new missed payments at all cost.
– Do not apply for any more loans now. That will reduce your credit score further.
– Keep only 1 or 2 cards active, close or block others to reduce temptation.
– Use those cards for basic needs only, if needed.
– Repay small loans or cards first and get them closed.
– One closed loan improves your credit history.
– Within 12 to 18 months, you can start seeing better credit score trends.

Your CIBIL score is not permanent. It is only temporary and can be corrected.

? Exploring Income Opportunities – Even If Small

– Your husband is earning Rs 72,000. That is a good base income.
– Any small income from your side will help boost cash flow.
– Since you are at home with a child, try online work options.
– Content writing, tutoring, transcription, or simple data entry are good starts.
– You can teach basic classes to 1-2 kids from home, if possible.
– Try homemade food orders, tiffin services, or simple snacks selling.
– Even if you earn Rs 5000 to Rs 8000 monthly, it will help.
– Focus on work that doesn’t affect child care but gives steady income.

When income grows, debt pressure automatically reduces. Even small income is useful.

? Financial Habits – A Strong Foundation Needed

– Start a habit of noting down expenses daily in a diary or app.
– Encourage your husband also to track and review monthly spending.
– Build a monthly review routine on 1st of every month.
– Mark which debts you are closing slowly.
– Celebrate small wins. It will keep you both motivated.
– Avoid cash spending. Use digital modes to track better.
– Avoid lending money to anyone during this phase.
– Focus only on your financial health and goals.

Discipline is more powerful than income in managing financial stress.

? Insurance – Protection Must Be Revisited

– Check if your husband has term insurance. If not, take one urgently.
– It should cover 10-15 times of his annual income.
– Avoid ULIPs, traditional endowment, or money-back plans.
– Those are expensive and give low return.
– Just go for pure term life cover. Premium is low.
– Health insurance must be active. That should cover you, your husband and child.
– Hospital expenses can break your budget and create more loans.
– If you don’t have cover, take a family floater with minimum Rs 5 lakhs.
– Don’t depend on employer insurance alone.

Protection gives peace of mind when income is limited and loans are high.

? Investment Planning – Not Now, But Keep This in Mind

– Right now, investment is not your priority.
– Your focus should be only on loan reduction and cash flow improvement.
– Once you start saving at least Rs 5000 monthly, then think of investing.
– When you are ready, start investing via regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.
– Don’t go for direct funds. Those require expertise and time, which you may not have now.
– Regular plans through an expert will help with proper review, rebalancing and risk reduction.
– Start with low-risk balanced or hybrid funds when ready.
– Don’t go for index funds. They work without active decision-making.
– In your situation, you need strategy, not passive management.

First fix your financial house. Then slowly move to investments with guidance.

? Role of Certified Financial Planner – Not Optional in Your Case

– Your situation is complex and emotional.
– A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide with full planning.
– They will not only suggest mutual funds.
– They help in budgeting, debt reduction, insurance, investments, and long-term financial goals.
– They will track your debt movement and coach you through recovery.
– You can also ask them to talk to creditors if needed.
– Having a professional removes pressure from your mind.
– It creates direction, accountability and hope.

You are not alone. Support from a planner is like having a coach for your money.

? Emotional and Family Support – Use It Well

– Please share your situation with close family members.
– Ask if any of them can give interest-free loans or support.
– Even a short-term pause in debt collection will help you breathe.
– Encourage your husband to take care of his mental health too.
– Managing pressure daily affects relationships.
– Talk regularly. Plan together. Review every week.
– Avoid blame games or finger-pointing. That delays recovery.

Staying united as a family is your biggest strength right now.

? Legal Angle – Keep This in Mind

– If any creditor is harassing or threatening illegally, take legal help.
– Credit card companies cannot visit home or threaten physically.
– You can file a police complaint if anyone behaves violently.
– Keep written communication for all deals. Avoid oral agreements.
– In extreme cases, you can explore legal debt relief options.
– These include debt settlement, restructuring, or insolvency code (if no way out).
– But that should be last option after all other steps.

Use law as support, not a first step. Prevention is better than conflict.

? Finally – Hope and Direction Are Both Possible

– You are already brave to face this head-on.
– You have taken a wise first step by seeking guidance.
– Now break your goals into 3 parts: reduce debt, increase income, protect future.
– Step by step, reduce one high-interest debt.
– Stay consistent with your tracking and discipline.
– Your situation can change within 2-3 years with small steady actions.
– Don’t lose hope. Your child will grow. Your income will grow.
– Start now. Stay focused. Keep building small wins every month.

We believe in your recovery and future progress.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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