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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more

Question by Advith on Oct 13, 2021Hindi

Hi
We live in a complex and I like one of the girls there.
I managed to speak to her and she likes me too.
We are managing to talk and managing to meet, but the problem is her parents and my parents don’t like each other.
Some months ago, there was a big public showdown between them.
Now, if either of them come to know we are seeing each other, it will be bad.
How do we handle this?
Advith

Ans:

Warring neighbours, eh? I don’t envy you Advith!

Maybe both of you need to come clear about this relationship to your parents and get it over with because, if they find out accidentally, the situation is bound to become worse.

Both of you can try speaking to each set of parents individually and then get them together to clear the air.

Neighbours do get into scraps and sometimes it’s for the silliest of reasons.

I hope better sense prevails all around. Good luck!

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Question by AS - Jan 04, 2022Hindi

Hi Ma’am. I’m having a problem with my parents about my marriage. I’ve been in a relationship for three years and I want to marry him. My parents are not agreeing as it is a society issue because it is an interstate and inter-caste marriage. I'm trying to convince my parents for that since long time but it's going nowhere and they are too stubborn to even meet him once. What can I do in this situation? How can I deal with their emotional drama as a parent-child relationship should not break because of these issues? Kindly advise me, Ma’am. AS

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Dear AS,

You need to focus on how you can marry the person you love and also have your parents support you.

Is this possible?

There is a chance only if you take them into complete confidence and appeal to their logic.

Many societies are still against inter-caste marriages and I am sure they have their reasons for it, just like your parents have strong reasons to oppose the marriage.

Have you tried to find out why they oppose it? Are they worried about how they will face your family members as this is a big thing across cultures in the world?

As their daughter, you have connections with them as well as the right to live your life your way. Bring in an elder member of the family and ask him/her to appeal on your behalf. If this doesn’t work, you might be forced to decide one way or the other.

Whatever you do, do it with conviction and maintain relationships along the way. It may be an uphill task but breathe, smile and live life.

All the best, Happy 2022!

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2022

Question by B - Oct 28, 2022Hindi

Dear Love Guru,Gettting married in a few months to a girl I really love.But she comes from a very wealthy biz family.I am from a simple middle-class background but have worked hard and earn well.Even if our love is mutual and unites our hearts, her way of living is totally unlike mine.And her parents make me feel uncomfortable and that she is marrying beneath her and I am interested in her for her family’s money.How do I convey this problem to her?If I sit quiet it can fester later.What do I say to her parents when they are almost rude?B.

Ans:

Hi B,

No matter how wealthy your to-be in-laws are, money doesn't give them license to look down their noses at you. You say you're hard working and earn well, surely they know that too!

Sit them down and apprise them of the fact that their rude manner has not gone unnoticed. Be polite but firm. If they were born into money then they've hardly achieved anything, and if they started from scratch like you have, well, surely they should commend you for following in the same footsteps toward making a life for yourself and their daughter?

Tell them that it's best that they make peace with the marriage so that relations are not strained in the future.

If they have no consideration for your feelings, at the very least their daughter's should matter to them.

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