Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 20, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Krish Question by Krish on Oct 20, 2021Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi,
I had been in a relationship for a few years. We broke up a year ago.
Recently, I met someone else I like through a dating app. We have met a few times and really like each other.
Now, my old girlfriend has suddenly come back in my life saying she wants to marry me.
I asked her about the break-up and she said problems are always there in life and we can work it out together.
I really like both of them. Both are nice girls. What do I do now?
Krish

Ans:

Know one thing for sure, Krish; the problems that led to your break-up? They are usually magnified after marriage!

The solution to relationship issues is never getting married or having children; those just add to the trouble a couple is already facing!

It would have helped if you had told me what reason was behind your breaking up in the first place, but with the limited information you’ve provided me, it sounds like your ex is mainly keen to get back with you because you have someone new in your life. That’s human nature.

If I were you, I’d go with the one who has my heart and who I’m compatible with.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1540 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2021

Listen
Relationship
I am 30 years old and am currently going through a peculiar phase in my life. I was engaged to a girl but somehow it didn't work out and we called off the relationship as we had compatibility issues. It was an arranged setup and we met through one of these online matrimony portals. But while being engaged to her, I also happened to bump into one of my ex-girlfriends who I always knew was the best relationship I ever had. We broke up because it was a long distance. Six months ago, I shifted nearby and we started meeting. Our meetings have increased and now we have been meeting and talking regularly. We even went out together and got physical and one day I expressed that I want her back in my life. Now the issue is she is dating someone else and she feels divided now. They were planning to get married in a couple of years and I can sense that confusion in her but I also don't want to give up on her as I have never felt this way for anyone ever. Tell me what I should do?
Ans: Dear AK, well, you can respect her decision, right?

When someone is confused, give them space to sort it out their way as that will be most authentic for them.

Either that decision may include you in her life or it may not, whatever that is…do respect it…her life, her way…by being physical once, does not mean that it must lead to something that favours your feelings!

If she is committed to the guy that she is dating, as simple as that…give her time; let her make the choice!

Be at peace!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1540 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
To start with i live abroad . I was married in 2009 with 1 kid and divorced later in year 2017 abroad only as i got into a new love relationship and married after 1 yr with no kids my present wife knows about my past and moreover we trying to have baby but due to medical conditions and diabetic myself unable and have to hear negative things she is working well and independent but due to all this i befriended another girl and had developed a feeling towards her and had relationship with her as well she knows about that i am married but cant leave my gf want to marry her we had good communication as well between us but at times we fight due to issues that i am married still not divorced and moreover she doesnot know about my 1st marriage either sometimes i feel embrassing whag ppl will think of me i am tired of my life being the only child of my mom i cant do anything as she is too old 85 yrs and heart patient. I am 42 currently married with wife 41 yrs age but seems lost interest in her and often fight shd doesnt live with me as i am away for 3 years and goes home 1 a year. The new gf is 35 yrs old but dont want to lose her we have been to nany trips together in about 5 to 6 countries . I am having mentally stress what to do sometimes feel to end up my life
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't mean to sound judgemental here...but what exactly are you stressed about? You seem to be hopping about from one relationship to another without working on things when they get stressful.
Did it occur to you that when things sour between two people that it is possible with some effort to work on things? The answer does not lie in running away and jump into the arms of another women.
There's a clear pattern of possible 'escapism' when things get uncomfortable...So, STOP and reevaluate what you are running from, what comfort do you run towards and how is this actually helping your mental state...
Do the right thing for yourself and your wife...take care of your marriage first before jumping into another relationship; you will only find something wrong with that as well...So, please STOP and check what exactly is happening...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |539 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2024
Relationship
Hi i am 30yr old man i was in relationship with girl from school time since15 year with different caste in 2023 marriage proposal from another girl comes that time i talked with my family about my love they refused for marriage to her i did not put aggressive effort as i also don't want to hurt them after my marriage in a month i am remembering her continuously and start taking to her again i also told my wife about it she doesn't want to leave me (i also told her before our marriage but that time i told her that we broke up) after a year in this November her marriage is fixed by her parents now she is married since 2 month but she also don't want to live with her husband and want to come back We both wanted to come back to each other what should we do.??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is a tricky situation. I am sorry I cannot tell you what you should do, but I can tell you that you have to handle this very carefully because it's a sensitive matter and involves too many people and their emotions. You can discuss the same with your family; you might be worried about upsetting them but at the end of the day, it's your life and you will have to live a long long time with the decisions you make. Sort your priorities- ask yourself these simple questions: what would hurt you more- hurting your parents and making your wife collateral damage because of your confusion or not living the rest of your life with the woman you love? Once you can answer these truthfully, it will be easier to make a choice.

Hope this helps

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Mere pass Parag Parikh flexicap,Sbi mid cap, axis small cap ,Motilal Oswal midcap and Quant small cap fund hai in sabhi me meri SIP chal rahi hai, abhi Stock market me bahut correction hua hai mujhe lumsum investment karna hai toh inme se kis fund me karu..?
Ans: Investing a lump sum after a market correction can be a good opportunity. However, choosing the right funds requires proper analysis.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Flexi-cap fund: This fund invests across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. It provides diversification and stability.

Mid-cap funds: These funds invest in mid-sized companies. They offer high growth potential but come with more volatility.

Small-cap funds: These funds invest in smaller companies. They have the highest return potential but also the highest risk.

Your portfolio already has a mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. Adding more funds from the same categories may lead to over-diversification.

Factors to Consider Before Investing Lump Sum
Market correction does not mean all stocks are undervalued. Some stocks may still be expensive.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds are volatile. Investing lump sum in these funds can be risky.

If you have a high-risk appetite, invest in small-cap or mid-cap funds. However, avoid putting the entire amount in one fund.

If you want balanced growth, allocate more to flexi-cap funds. These funds can shift between large, mid, and small caps based on market conditions.

Instead of lump sum, consider a systematic transfer plan (STP). This helps in averaging the investment over time.

Where to Invest the Lump Sum?
If you want lower risk: Invest in a flexi-cap fund. It provides stability and long-term growth.

If you want moderate risk: Invest in a mid-cap fund. These funds have strong growth potential.

If you want higher risk and higher returns: Invest in a small-cap fund. However, stay invested for at least 7-10 years.

If you are unsure, split your investment. Invest in a mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Final Insights
Your portfolio already has exposure to different categories. Avoid adding too many funds.

A systematic transfer plan (STP) is better than lump sum investment in a volatile market.

Review your risk tolerance before investing in mid-cap and small-cap funds.

If markets fall further, consider staggered investing instead of putting all money at once.

Stay invested for the long term and review your portfolio regularly.

With the right strategy, your investments can grow steadily over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Listen
Money
Iss time pe Flexicap,Midcap and Small Cap mutual funds kisme lumsum investment karna chahiye..?
Ans: Investing in flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds through lump sum requires careful analysis. Timing, market conditions, and personal financial goals should be considered before investing.

Understanding Market Conditions
Flexi-cap funds: These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. Fund managers have the flexibility to shift allocation based on market trends.

Mid-cap funds: These funds invest in mid-sized companies. They have higher growth potential than large caps but come with more volatility.

Small-cap funds: These funds invest in smaller companies. They offer high return potential but carry the highest risk.

Current Market Scenario: Mid-cap and small-cap stocks have seen strong rallies. Investing through a systematic transfer plan (STP) may be better than a lump sum.

Best Approach for Lump Sum Investment
Avoid investing the entire amount at once. Markets can be volatile, and a sudden drop can impact your returns.

Use a systematic transfer plan (STP). Park the lump sum in a liquid fund and transfer it gradually into equity funds.

Diversify across market caps. Do not invest only in mid-cap and small-cap funds. Flexi-cap funds provide balanced exposure.

Check valuations before investing. If mid-cap and small-cap indices are trading at high valuations, wait for corrections.

Consider your risk tolerance. Mid-cap and small-cap funds are volatile. Invest only if you can stay invested for at least 7-10 years.

Which Category is Suitable for You?
If you want stable growth with lower risk: Invest in flexi-cap funds.

If you can handle moderate risk and aim for higher returns: Invest in mid-cap funds.

If you have a high-risk appetite and a long-term horizon: Invest in small-cap funds.

If markets are at high valuations: Invest in balanced advantage or hybrid funds instead of pure equity funds.

Final Insights
Investing in mid-cap and small-cap funds requires patience. Returns may be volatile in the short term.

A systematic transfer plan (STP) is better than lump sum investment in volatile markets.

Diversify across flexi-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds based on your risk profile.

Review your investments every year and rebalance if needed.

With the right strategy, your investment can grow steadily over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Listen
Hi Sir, I have 2 goals - Kindly review my portfolio and let me know if the asset allocation is good to go. Retirement: 10+ years, SIP Value: 15k per month Nippon India Index Nifty 50 growth direct plan - 50% Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index Growth Direct Plan - 15% Motilal Oswal Nifty Midcap 150 Index Fund - Direct Plan - 15% Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - Direct Plan -20% 7 Year Goal (Education, Marriage and buying car): SIP: 28K per month I am confused which portfolio to proceed for this goal. Can you review and confirm which one is good to proceed. Portfolio 1: Nippon India Index Nifty 50 growth direct plan - 25% Kotak Nifty Next 50 Index Growth Direct Plan - 15% Parag Parikh Flexi Cap direct growth - 20% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - Direct Plan - 40% Portfolio 2: Parag Parikh Flexi Cap direct growth - 30% HDFC Flexi cap direct growth - 30% HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund - Direct Plan - 40%
Ans: Your investment approach is structured and goal-based, which is excellent. I will review your portfolio and suggest improvements for better diversification and risk management.

Retirement Portfolio (10+ Years Goal)
Your retirement portfolio has the following allocation:

50% in a Nifty 50 index fund
15% in a Nifty Next 50 index fund
15% in a midcap index fund
20% in a flexi-cap fund
Observations:

Overexposure to index funds: Index funds have limitations, such as being market-cap weighted. This may lead to inefficiencies, especially in volatile markets. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform index funds.
High allocation to large caps: While large caps provide stability, they may not generate high returns in the long term.
Lack of small-cap exposure: Small caps have the potential for higher returns over a long period.
No international diversification: Adding international equity funds can reduce risk and enhance returns.
Recommended Changes:

Reduce index fund allocation and increase exposure to actively managed funds.
Increase flexi-cap and midcap exposure for better growth potential.
Consider adding a small-cap fund for higher long-term returns.
Allocate a small portion to an international equity fund.
7-Year Goal (Education, Marriage, and Car Purchase)
You are investing Rs 28,000 per month and considering two portfolios.

Portfolio 1:
25% in a Nifty 50 index fund
15% in a Nifty Next 50 index fund
20% in a flexi-cap fund
40% in a balanced advantage fund
Portfolio 2:
30% in a flexi-cap fund
30% in another flexi-cap fund
40% in a balanced advantage fund
Observations:

Index funds are not ideal for short-term goals: Index funds can be highly volatile in a 7-year timeframe. Actively managed funds provide better risk-adjusted returns.
Lack of debt allocation: A 7-year goal needs some debt exposure for stability. Balanced advantage funds offer some protection, but a dedicated debt fund is better.
Overdependence on balanced advantage funds: These funds adjust equity-debt allocation dynamically, but they may not be the best for all market conditions.
Recommended Approach:

Reduce index fund exposure and add actively managed multi-cap and midcap funds.
Allocate at least 20% to high-quality short-duration debt funds for stability.
Consider a hybrid fund that balances equity and debt more effectively.
Final Insights
Your goal-based approach is commendable. Some modifications will improve diversification, stability, and potential returns.

Reduce index fund exposure and add actively managed funds.
Increase exposure to midcap, flexi-cap, and small-cap funds for retirement.
Add a small international equity fund for diversification.
Introduce short-duration debt funds for your 7-year goal.
With these adjustments, your portfolio will be well-balanced and aligned with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I am 24, and I have around 1 lac in pf and 1.5 lac in mutual fund as I am investing around 25k per month, 70% in midcap and 30% in large cap, how to invest to have at least 1 crore before I turn 30?
Ans: You are 24 and already investing well. Your goal of Rs 1 crore before 30 is ambitious. You need the right strategy to achieve it.

Assessing Your Current Investments
You have Rs 1 lakh in PF and Rs 1.5 lakh in mutual funds.

You invest Rs 25,000 per month.

Your portfolio is 70% mid-cap and 30% large-cap.

Strengths in Your Investment Approach
You started early. This gives time for compounding.

You invest regularly. SIPs build discipline.

You have growth-focused funds. Mid-cap funds can give high returns.

Challenges to Achieving Rs 1 Crore in 6 Years
Market volatility. Mid-cap funds fluctuate more.

Time frame is short. Equity needs at least 7-10 years.

High return expectation. Achieving Rs 1 crore in 6 years is difficult.

Steps to Improve Your Strategy
Increase Investment Amount
Rs 25,000 per month may not be enough.

Try to increase it to Rs 35,000–40,000 per month.

Use yearly salary hikes to boost SIPs.

Balance Your Portfolio Better
Mid-caps are good but risky.

Reduce mid-cap exposure to 50%.

Increase large-cap allocation to 40%.

Add 10% flexi-cap funds for stability.

Use Lump Sum Investments
Invest any bonuses, increments, or extra income.

Avoid keeping too much in PF, as equity gives better returns.

Avoid Index Funds and Direct Plans
Index funds cannot outperform markets.

Active funds are managed by experts and can generate better returns.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for the best selection.

Tax Considerations
LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions wisely to save tax.

Finally
Your goal is aggressive but possible with discipline. Increase your SIPs and maintain asset allocation. Invest wisely through Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and MFD. Stay focused, and you can reach your target.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x