Hi gurus, I am 24, have been in a relationship with a woman for the past one and a half years, out of which 7 months have been long distance, as she has gone to Canada for higher studies. In the meantime, I fell in love with another woman in my office, and she loves me back too, knowing my situation. I confessed about this to my girlfriend and asked to break the relationship as the card of loyalty has been broken already. She insisted that we try and come out of this mess, and that she was not ready to leave me. I had already told the other woman to not get over involved with me as I formally am in a relationship with another woman. Both of them are refusing to leave or move on. I am in a dilemma and feel guilty sometimes for messing two lives up. What should I do further?

Ans: Dear Pawan,

I'm afraid I can't side with you, or your girlfriend. I could not gather from your question if you are still married or a single father, but now that your partner is married to someone else, letting her go would be the best thing. And especially so if you are no longer interested in dating her. It would be exceptionally wrong if the two of you continued your relationship even after she got married to another man. The only guidance I can offer you is to end it before more people get pulled into this and end up getting hurt.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't mean to sound judgemental here...but what exactly are you stressed about? You seem to be hopping about from one relationship to another without working on things when they get stressful.
Did it occur to you that when things sour between two people that it is possible with some effort to work on things? The answer does not lie in running away and jump into the arms of another women.
There's a clear pattern of possible 'escapism' when things get uncomfortable...So, STOP and reevaluate what you are running from, what comfort do you run towards and how is this actually helping your mental state...
Do the right thing for yourself and your wife...take care of your marriage first before jumping into another relationship; you will only find something wrong with that as well...So, please STOP and check what exactly is happening...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Its important to trust the person in your life, you need to decide on the next steps which can be to trust her and not overthink in your head or move on from this relationship.

Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

Your child is also a significant factor to consider. Decisions about your personal relationships inevitably affect your family dynamics, and it’s worth reflecting on what stability and clarity mean for them at this stage in their life.

Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.