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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
santosh Question by santosh on Nov 09, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I have fallen in love with my English teacher.
I am 18 years of age.
I am a good student and write well and am the teacher’s pet.
My love for her is very distracting.
I don’t think she returns it.
But maybe she knows.
She is young.
Maybe early 20s.
She looks very pretty and dresses very attractively.
She is a good teacher.
I can sit in her class all day.
I want to tell her about my feelings, but it might be wrong.
I am very confused.
What can I do?
Please tell me.
Santosh

Ans:

Santosh, you're not the first and you certainly won't be the last young man enamoured of his teacher.

But you're a teenager, she's a young adult and your teacher to boot!

My advice is to please leave this at what it is -- a college crush. In a few years' time you will look back at this period in your life fondly and smile.

Don't make things awkward by trying to pursue her. You said yourself she's not romantically interested in you. Plus it would be a risk to her job and career.

If you feel like you absolutely must declare your feelings of affection, at the very least I'd recommend you wait till the end of her tenure teaching you; that way you won't have to face her every day in class if things go downhill, which most likely they will.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 07, 2022

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Relationship
Dear love guru, Hope u are doing well.  This story starts in 2018 when I was in my 12th. I had a huge crush on this junior girl. This girl is very intelligent and she used to get very high marks. So I took that as an inspiration and started working very hard on my academics. I started to read like a maniac and that worked and I got seat in a very prestigious college hoping she would get the seat in the same college but unfortunately she got seat in other state. I was disappointed. I was shy and never talked to her in my 12th and thought I lost my chance of talking to her ever again. But fortunately after a year, I found her insta and mustered my courage to chat with her.  Although it was awkward initially, we became good friends (I guess so) and used to chat almost daily. She is really a charmer and she chats so nicely. She is a great friend but I never had courage to say about my feelings. She used to talk about her friends, her new college and her cats and so many things about herself and as I am her senior, I used to guide her and talk about my daily experiences. We had great time talking to each other on insta, WhatsApp and even snapchat. Heck we have a Spotify playlist Collab and she even included me in her private Instagram account as a close friend (u know that girls do have spam accounts for close friends) and I was wondering whether I'm just another friend or close friend or anything more.  This continued like for many months and we chatted very well in the lockdown. I never met her or called her, we just chatted( I'm a shy guy and not so good at talking to girls). Feelings aside, she became a really good friend to me and I don't have many friends. I never said her about my feelings, fearing it would destroy this great friendship I was having. But recently she was not responding properly to my chats( I never misbehaved in the chat ). I do believe she is seeing a guy whom she met recently but I don't know whether that is a relationship or just friendship.  I was disappointed but hey it's her life and I was u know just continuing my life feeling sad sometimes or just trying to forget about her. And recently she completely avoided my messages and I was so hurt(I do have some self-respect right). U could say this as a one side love story. But this is so hard. After all she is my first love and this started affecting my academics. Should I move on or should I just continue trying to talk to her so that hopefully she will talk to me like she used to before. I don't have any problem continuing but sometimes I feel what's the purpose since it is going nowhere.  Please give me any valuable suggestion. Sorry for the long story Thank you  
Ans:

You've enjoyed a mainly online relationship; there's a lot more to things than that.

There is definitely a reason why she's not responding to your messages anymore and it could be anything -- maybe you came on too strong, maybe she's met someone else, maybe her new boyfriend is from the Stone Age and doesn't like her interacting with other male friends.

I would suggest writing her one last message to the effect that you miss your friend, you don't know why she has begun avoiding you and, at the very least, if she wants to discontinue contact she should have the courtesy of letting you know that, along with the reason why.

See if she responds.

If she doesn't, take that as a very strong and clear signal in itself that she wants nothing to do with you anymore and doesn't have manners either. In which case I would strongly suggest you cease all contact as well.

If she does show some courtesy and reply, see if what she has to say can be addressed.

And all things considered, don't be too heartbroken about this. There are many great girls out there for you to start anew with -- in person perhaps, this time around!

 

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |516 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Relationship
Hello, I went to kota in class 11 in 2019 I was a below average student there but as soon as my class 12 session was to be started I already started studying the syllabus and was determined that I will crack neet in my first attempt any how but suddenly Covid came and I went back to home ,online classes started but after two months suddenly my mental health started deteriorating and eventually I was rushed to various doctors and finally to a psychiatrist , after a few months of constant visits etc I got diagnosed with schizophrenia ,my medications started heavily impacting my sleep,apettite,emotions etc. my studies got completely stopped slowly slowly till neet 2021 I was in that situation that I can just only sit in exam with no preparation at all I scored very very less again next year as I was not much well I got very less in neet 2022 same story in neet 2023 too then for neet 2024 I started studying a little bit due to not studying properly since two three years I was not studying properly I just watched yt videoes on how to study that ,how to do this and that regarding studies I mean I only accumulated knowledge but didn't took actions which ruined my neet 2024 result too .now my parents enrolled me in a regular central government college in bsc zoology hons. Inside me too for some time I accepted it and tried to move on but unable to do that bcoz I wanted to be a doctor since childhood and also have keen interest in medical study it's almost time for neet 2025 but I am unprepared due to not arriving at a firm decision but now I am almost healthy and decided to prepare for neet 2026 will it be worth the decision? I want to try atleast once with my full potential and dedication rest results will be in god's hands Or should I not prepare and focus on anything else?
Ans: Dear Harsh,
Any competitive entrance exam requires focus, discipline and a lot of hard work. Unfortunately due to your circumstances, this hasn't been possible.
Your parents possibly don't want you to go through the disappointment all over again and feel that a regular degree will get your feet back on the ground. Now, whether you must write NEET again or not is a decision you will have to take BUT only if you have a firm plan in hand. You will need to get back all your focus and give it your best shot. Now, how important is this exam for you and why you want to take it, is something only you know. You will also need your parents' support in case you decide to go for it after all, so also consult with them. If you are able to inspire yourself, then you know what is to be done.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 48, male, divorced from my wife. I have a 12 year old daughter. I am in love with a colleague in my office who is also married and seeking divorce. We have known each other for 3 years. Her husband recently found about us and has since decided to delay the divorce proceedings. He is not consenting for mutual divorce. While we love and support each other, this new development is now affecting our relationship. Her husband doesn't appreciate us meeting or talking at work or texting each other. He is unecessarily harassing her to make it seem like I am the villain and she should feel guilty about choosing to divorce at the age of 45. I don't see how it is my fault. But I don't want her to go through this pain of dealing with a guy who she doesn't want to live with. Please suggest what I can do to help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do other than just be by her side and simply understand her situation?
Her husband perhaps feels threatened by another male stepping in and hence delaying the divorce or not consenting to it will drag this whole thing...On your part, do not get so emotionally invested that it begins to take a toll on your peace of mind. This situation isn't going to be an easy one and it will just stretch your emotional band very thin; both for you and the lady. So, take it slow and it may help not being in the radar much so that the husband also backs off. It's sadly called - playing games.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Money
I am 62 years old.I have 1 Crore at present.I have health insurance for 25 Lakhs.I want to draw an amount of 50,000 per month through systematic withdrawal plan form mutual funds.After my life i want to give a huge Corpus to my son from this investments.Please advice me for my retirement planning.
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Needs
You have Rs 1 crore at present.
You want Rs 50,000 per month through a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP).
The objective is to generate enough income to meet your monthly needs and create wealth for your son.
2. Withdrawal Strategy: SWP Setup
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) is a smart way to create a monthly income.
You need to ensure that the capital remains growing even while withdrawals happen.
Your goal of Rs 50,000 per month is about Rs 6 lakh per year.
Your Rs 1 crore corpus needs to generate this amount.
A balanced portfolio of equity and debt will help in managing risk while offering growth.
A well-planned SWP structure will ensure that your corpus grows, even with withdrawals.
3. Investment Strategy for Long-Term Stability and Growth
Equity investments are ideal for growth, especially in the first few years.
Debt funds provide stability, reducing volatility in your portfolio.
Mutual funds can be actively managed to meet both income and growth objectives.
Avoid index funds as they lack active management. They follow the market, so they cannot provide higher returns than actively managed funds.
Direct funds, while cheaper, have no expert oversight.
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures you get expert guidance, which enhances returns.
4. Asset Allocation
A balanced asset allocation helps grow your wealth while ensuring stability.
Start with around 40% equity, 40% debt, and 20% in safer assets like gold.
Equities will generate higher returns over time, while debt will give stability.
Gold helps hedge against inflation and provides diversification.
Over time, gradually reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation to preserve capital.
5. Managing Risk
Risk management is key in your case, especially with a fixed withdrawal amount.
You don’t want to dip into the principal too soon, so focus on risk-adjusted returns.
A combination of mid-cap, large-cap, and hybrid funds provides both stability and growth potential.
Debt mutual funds with shorter durations help balance the risk and returns.
A portion should be allocated to liquid funds or short-term debt funds for emergencies.
6. Health Insurance and Emergency Planning
You already have Rs 25 lakh health insurance, which is a great start.
With rising medical costs, you may need to consider increasing coverage over time.
Set aside an emergency fund equivalent to at least 6 months of expenses in liquid funds.
Ensure that your health insurance is comprehensive and covers critical illnesses.
7. Creating a Legacy for Your Son
You want to leave a substantial corpus for your son.
Your investments should be structured to grow over time, even after your lifetime.
A combination of equity, hybrid funds, and a small percentage in gold can work well.
To ensure the corpus grows, focus on reinvesting dividends and returns.
Also, consider setting up a trust or nominee to ensure your assets are transferred smoothly.
8. Tax Planning for Retirement
Focus on tax-efficient investments.
Long-term capital gains on equity funds are tax-free after a certain holding period.
Debt funds may have a tax advantage if held for more than 3 years.
Take advantage of tax-saving mutual funds if you are eligible for deductions.
Regular review of your tax liabilities helps in keeping your investments tax-efficient.
9. Monitoring and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it’s in line with your retirement goals.
Rebalancing annually will keep your asset allocation on track.
Keep track of your SWP withdrawals and adjust based on market performance.
As you get closer to your desired age, you can reduce equity exposure and increase debt allocation.
10. Avoiding Certain Investment Options
Avoid investing in annuities, as they don’t provide flexibility.
Investment-cum-insurance plans like ULIPs should be reconsidered.
These have high charges and offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.
Insurance should be separate from your investments to achieve higher returns.
Consider surrendering any such policies and reinvesting the amount in mutual funds for better growth.
11. Health and Long-Term Care Planning
Long-term care and medical expenses should be factored in.
After retirement, you may not have a regular income, so insurance will help.
Consider building a portion of your portfolio to cover these needs.
12. Legacy Planning and Nomination
Ensure you have a clear will and nominations for all your assets.
Mutual funds and other investments should have a designated nominee.
This helps transfer assets to your son easily after your lifetime.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to streamline this process.
13. Review Your Plan Regularly
Keep reviewing your financial goals annually.
Adjust your strategy if there are major changes in market conditions or personal goals.
Your retirement portfolio should be flexible to handle changes in market conditions.
Ensure that any new goals or needs are factored into your investment planning.
Final Insights
Your Rs 1 crore is a great base for building a secure retirement.
Balance your portfolio to generate income while keeping the principal intact.
Actively managed funds are the best choice for long-term wealth generation.
Regular monitoring and a disciplined SWP strategy will help meet your goals.
Build a legacy for your son by ensuring that your investments grow even after your lifetime.
Health insurance, tax planning, and estate planning should be integral to your strategy.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7741 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Money
Hello Ramalingam sir. Good day. I'm looking to invest 20L for long term (min 10Y). Please advise how should I diversify the same?
Ans: Investing Rs 20 lakh for the long term requires careful planning. A well-diversified portfolio balances risk and return. Below is a structured approach to diversification.

Understanding Long-Term Investing
Long-term investing builds wealth over time.

A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk.

Regular monitoring is essential for success.

Asset Allocation Strategy
Spreading investments across different asset classes is important.

Asset allocation should match risk tolerance and goals.

Rebalancing every year ensures stability.

Equity Investments for Growth
Equity investments provide higher returns over time.

Investing in quality mutual funds ensures professional management.

Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds can give high growth.

A mix of large, mid, and small caps balances risk.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures better fund selection.

Debt Investments for Stability
Debt investments provide steady returns.

They reduce overall portfolio risk.

Corporate bonds and debt funds offer better returns than fixed deposits.

Government bonds are secure but have lower returns.

A portion of capital in debt instruments gives stability.

Gold for Hedging
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.

5-10% of the portfolio in gold is beneficial.

Sovereign gold bonds provide interest and capital appreciation.

Gold ETFs and digital gold are convenient options.

International Exposure for Diversification
Investing in global funds provides currency diversification.

Exposure to international markets enhances portfolio strength.

Developed market funds offer stability.

Emerging market funds provide growth opportunities.

Investing in REITs for Real Estate Exposure
Real estate investment trusts (REITs) provide real estate exposure.

They generate rental income and capital appreciation.

REITs are more liquid than physical real estate.

Avoiding Insurance-Based Investments
Investment-cum-insurance plans give poor returns.

ULIPs have high charges and low flexibility.

Insurance should be separate from investments.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Always keep an emergency fund ready.

Three to six months of expenses should be in a liquid fund.

This ensures financial security during unforeseen events.

Tax-Efficient Investing
Investing in tax-saving funds reduces tax liability.

Long-term capital gains from equities are tax-efficient.

Debt investments should be chosen based on tax benefits.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in tax-efficient planning.

SIP vs. Lump Sum Investment
Systematic investment plans (SIPs) reduce market timing risk.

Lump sum investments work well in market corrections.

A combination of SIP and lump sum is effective.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Portfolio performance should be reviewed yearly.

Rebalancing ensures asset allocation stays aligned with goals.

Market fluctuations require adjustments.

Final Insights
A well-diversified portfolio ensures wealth creation.

Equity, debt, gold, and international funds balance returns and risk.

A Certified Financial Planner helps in building a strong investment plan.

Monitoring investments ensures long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Anu mam, I am 21 about to graduate this year. So I am a single child and I just got to know that my parents are planning to separate. They are both seeing different people but none of them have cared to sit down and discuss this with me. I am old enough to make decisions. But I feel betrayed by my own parents. I don't have siblings or cousins with whom I can discuss this. I mean, what happens to me after my parents separate? Where will I stay? What about home? Both my parents are travelling or working late so we hardly spend time together at home to have a conversation. I have suggested several times that I want to talk but there is no response from either of them. There is always some urgent work to attend, some family event coming up and this gets brushed aside. I feel like I am not even their child any more. They have both mentally moved on... and I feel betrayed, lonely. I don't know what to do. Can you help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that. It is never easy to understand when your parents are planning to separate and it leaves you with a lot of questions when left unanswered can lead to a very unsettled feeling.
Perhaps they are still wondering how to break the news to you. If they have been avoiding this topic, then it is evident that they are not ready to tell you or it's still in an awkward phase.
You are 21 and obviously there's no point hiding this from you anymore. Make a dinner plan outside of home where they will not be able to move about and cite urgent work etc. Mid-way through dinner, ask them...they may deny or one of them may walk out; but at least they know that you are aware and will want to talk about it eventually. The path to a conversation has opened then and then you can make a plan about how to go about it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Relationship
Me 38ki hu mera bf 28ka wo mujhse sucha pyar krta hai shaadi bi Krna hai usko but bola ki me 2cr kmalu tb krunga t shaadi usne ghr me baat bhi ni ki apne na mere ki confirm krde ki shaadi t krunga or sagai krle usne BTech science kri hai wo mera office me lga jha selry 18k hai but maine kha ki tum apni qualification me hisaab se khi or job krlo jha 50k mile taki tum mere ghr walo se shaadi ki baat kr sko humre riste ko 4saal ho gye hai but usko m bhoat smjhaya ki khi or job krlo set ho jaye but ni ki or is office me job krha jha 18k milre hai usko fir bolta hai ki me 2cr acount me ho tb me Shaadi krunga tumse but mere ghr wale pressure krhe hai alg or ye koi faisla ni lera hai me kya kru
Ans: Dear Tiya,
Uske paas tumse zyaada waqt hai umar ke hisaab se isiliye woh yeh bol paa raha hai. Woh galat nahin na tum galat ho. Dono apni apni jagah sahi ho.
Aapko apni life mein kya chahiye? Shaadi aur ek pariwaar? Toh aapko yahi sochna chahiye ki kya yeh aapka bf samajhta hai aur kya is waqt woh yeh aapko de paayega. Kamaai ki baare mein bol rahaa hai woh; woh 2 Cr kitne saal aur lagenge? Kya aap intezaar karna chahoge? Agar nahin, toh is waqt woh bhi shaadi nahin karna chahte...toh aap unko majboor nahin kar sakte...Aaraam se soch vichaar kar lijiye aur ek nateeje par aana. Aap intezaar hi karte rahoge aur umar bhi nikla jaayega...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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