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Anu

Anu Krishna  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 07, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Madam, I am in love with a relationships expert and want to show her my love. How should I approach?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Do you know her or anything about her? If NO, what sort of a one-sided love affair is this?
Also, if you don't know how she feels, what's the point carrying on a desire that has no destination?
These kind of crushes and infatuations can be transformed into respect instead, so it will spare you of the agony.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?
Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |191 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 47 married and have a daughter of 16 years. From last two years I am madly in love with my colleague who is divorced living in our company campus. She is 35 and have two children of 18 and 16 years. She is from different religion and lives alone. She is extremely beautiful. She knows I am in love with her but refuses to accept. She sometimes cooks breakfast me and brings box for me. She is hardworking and respects me a lot. I want her love. I don't want any illegal affair. I tried to convey this many times directly or indirectly but failed to get her response. I am mad and can't think anything else apart from her. I am giving less attention to my family. What to do to get her love without any sexual affair.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are asking is morally incorrect. Being married to someone and craving someone else's love isn't only crossing the line lines, speaking from a moral point of view, but it has other layers of complexities too. She is not reciprocating your feelings. Bringing you a lunchbox does not have to do with love. It can be because she considers you a friend. Whatever the reason, you are married. She has the freedom to love anyone she chooses because she isn't in a committed relationship. But you are. Other than respecting her boundaries, you should also focus on your marriage. Have better communication with your spouse. Marriage can become mundane after a few years, and such infatuations are not uncommon. But how you deal with it shapes your marriage and the person you are; put effort into bringing the spark back into your marriage.

Take some time to reflect on your current situation and the impact it may have on your marriage and family. If you find it challenging to navigate your emotions and relationships, consider seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor. Our emotions can be all over the place at times. But with a little guidance, it isn't hard to get it sorted.

The bottom line is that convincing her to love you back or convincing her that you love her is not what you should be focusing on here. I am sure you know it isn't right. Focus on your spouse of many years. If you cannot get rid of these feelings, address the issue with your wife and you both can decide the course of action from there.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu, Me and my brother always wanted to buy a 2bhk. I got married a couple of years back & my younger brother is unmarried. We both have been looking for properties for years now but nothing would fit our budget. This is something my wife knew before marriage as well. Now she wants me to abandon the plans of buying a house with my brother and to plan with her. I am of the view we all can come together to buy the house but she is not ok with my brother contributing. As she believes it will create issues later on and during inheritance. I am in a dilemma about how to navigate this. As we all live in rented flat along with my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are taking an emotional stance on this and your wife is on a fear-ridden path...both of you are not wrong BUT is it possible to agree to what your wife is saying and yet not lose your brother's favor. Then you will have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Separate finances keeps relationships healthy and we have enough evidence where mixing financial matters and personal stuff can get messy...
There is nothing emotional about it, so think of the future...it's better to be safe and he's your brother...I am sure that he will understand...I have a question for you though: Why is it so important for you to have your brother's presence in buying the house? What will happen if you go ahead by yourself just like he can go ahead himself?
There are other things that you can share like going on holidays together, family gatherings, doing some charitable work together...
Prioritize relationships over finding what ties them...and your brother is not married...his future bride may not like the arrangement as well and then it will be one big mess to separate things...
Better keep things separate now than later...mending scars is more difficult than making a sane decision now...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 38yr old working women .I have 3year old daughter. 2.5 years back my father in law expired . After which my MIL started staying with us as my husband is a single child. She started creating lot of trouble in our family because of which my husband left me and my child.since then my husband is not staying with us neither helping me or my child emotionally and financially even after speaking to him.We took couple therapy also. Nothing changed. Now as I to put my child for school, I am feeling burdened emotionally, physically and financially which I don't want to show at my kid. kindly guide me to come out of the situation and give the best safe environment for my daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why should you bear the responsibilities all by yourself?
Legal separation has not happened and he is still responsible towards your daughter who is his daughter as well. If nothing has come out of therapy, then the responsibility to change and work on the marriage has not been a strong need.
Have an honest conversation with your husband on this; leaving home with no clarity for anyone is not a very nice thing to do...
Let him state his side of the story as to what he intends to do in the future with the marriage and maintenance of the child. If he refuses to offer support, legal recourse might be your only option.
But before doing anything, a frank chat with him is necessary. Know what's on his mind and do understand that your daughter is eligible to support financially from her father. So, don't go through with all this alone.
Do make an attempt to put things back together and then opt for other choices...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |242 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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Career
Which is beneficial out of 1.Certficate programes by MBA colleges . 2 Distance MBA 3. Executive MBA 4. Regular MBA in India? Context: I have 12 year of experience in total in the IT sector. I am a solution architect earning around 50LPA CTC. I am exploring the options of doing an MBA and not sure which one is more suitable. I am in middle management and want to get into the senior leadership role. Objective: This MBA/certificate for me is a ladder to scale up. So I am looking only for top 5 management schools in India. Mostly from IIM's or ISB only. Expectation: Looking for alumni status Looking for network connections for better outreach for a job switch. Impression on Resume/profile to get a job in a higher designation. I am more concerned with designation although in the IT sector only. (Is impression is enough to scale up the ladder , with comm and tech skills. Not sure ) Constraints: I need remote education, and can't relocate to different cities. cant go beyond 6-8lakh fees. Options: Certificate Program (IIM, ISB, XLRI) Executive MBA(1 year)(Too expensive though) General MBA(2 year remote) From these options, which is the best alternative? and what is the difference between these? Does it hold any value on paper?
Ans: It is always preferable to do an Executive MBA considering what you require from an MBA course. But you have other constraints in which case look at distance MBA Certificate course. There are foreign universities like Wharton, Kellogg, etc offering Distance Certificate course, but if you plan to continue working in India, course from top IIMs or ISB or XLRI could be better.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
I am 40 years old. I am having 23 Lakhs in PF, 15 lakhs in MF and 5 lakhs in PPF. Should I move funds from PF to my Mutual fund? Will that be a good option, taking into account of risk and return. What is the ratio of funds should I keep in FD, MF, Stocks and PPF?
Ans: At 40 years old, optimizing your asset allocation is crucial to align with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. As a Certified Financial Planner, let's evaluate the proposition of reallocating funds from your Provident Fund (PF) to mutual funds (MF) while considering risk and return dynamics.

Assessing the Move from PF to Mutual Funds

While PF offers stability and tax benefits, it may not always optimize returns, especially considering inflation and limited exposure to equities. Reallocating a portion of your PF corpus to mutual funds can potentially enhance your overall portfolio returns over the long term, provided you are comfortable with the associated market risks.

Determining Optimal Asset Allocation
Fixed Deposits (FD): FDs offer capital preservation and predictable returns, making them suitable for short-term liquidity needs and as a component of your emergency fund. Consider allocating a portion of your portfolio to FDs to meet immediate cash requirements and mitigate short-term volatility.

Mutual Funds (MF): With 15 lakhs already invested in MFs, you have a foundation in equity and debt instruments. Evaluate your risk tolerance and investment horizon to determine the optimal allocation between equity and debt funds. Equity funds offer growth potential but come with higher volatility, while debt funds provide stability and income generation.

Stocks: Direct stock investments can enhance portfolio diversification and potentially generate higher returns than mutual funds. However, they also entail higher risk and require active management and research. Allocate a portion of your portfolio to stocks based on your risk appetite and expertise in stock selection.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): PPF offers tax-free returns and long-term wealth accumulation, making it a valuable component of your retirement portfolio. Maintain your PPF investment to benefit from its tax advantages and stability in your overall asset allocation strategy.

Crafting a Balanced Portfolio
A balanced portfolio considers your risk tolerance, investment goals, and market conditions. A common rule of thumb suggests allocating a percentage of your portfolio to equities based on your age (e.g., 100 minus your age). However, this rule may vary based on individual circumstances and risk appetite.

Conclusion
While reallocating funds from PF to mutual funds can potentially enhance returns, it's essential to evaluate your risk tolerance and investment objectives before making any changes. A well-diversified portfolio comprising FDs, mutual funds, stocks, and PPF can optimize returns while managing risk effectively. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
I am 32 year old and beginner to mutual fund which one I need to start 1st to invest for my son and daughter studies they are 7 year old.
Ans: Congratulations on taking the first step towards securing your children's future through mutual fund investments. As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand the significance of starting early to harness the power of compounding for long-term goals like education.

Understanding Your Investment Horizon

At 32 years old, you have a considerable investment horizon ahead, aligning well with your children's education goals. With a time horizon of approximately 10-15 years until your children enter higher education, you can adopt a growth-oriented investment approach to capitalize on market opportunities and mitigate short-term fluctuations.

Selecting Suitable Investment Avenues
For beginners in mutual fund investing, I recommend initiating investments through diversified equity mutual funds or balanced funds. These funds offer a blend of equity and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth potential and downside protection.

Investing with a Goal in Mind

Since your primary objective is to accumulate funds for your children's education, consider opting for thematic or sectoral funds that align with sectors poised for long-term growth. Additionally, you may explore tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to avail tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act while building your children's education corpus.

Incorporating Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs offer a disciplined approach to investing, allowing you to invest fixed amounts regularly, typically on a monthly basis. By leveraging SIPs, you can benefit from rupee cost averaging and mitigate the impact of market volatility over time. Start with an affordable SIP amount that fits within your budget, gradually increasing it as your income grows.

Leveraging the Expertise of a Certified Financial Planner
As you embark on your mutual fund investment journey, seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner can provide invaluable insights and personalized recommendations tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A CFP can assist you in constructing a well-diversified portfolio and navigating market fluctuations effectively.

Conclusion
In summary, initiating mutual fund investments at an early age can significantly enhance your ability to accumulate wealth for your children's education. By selecting suitable investment avenues, incorporating SIPs, and leveraging professional guidance, you can lay a strong foundation for your children's future educational endeavors.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
Hello sir I want to invest rs.10,000 per month. Which index fund will be best for me ??
Ans: As a Certified Financial Planner, I commend your initiative to invest systematically for your future financial well-being. Let's explore various investment avenues to optimize your monthly investment of Rs. 10,000.

Assessing Active Funds Over Index Funds

Index funds, often touted for their simplicity and lower expenses, have their drawbacks. Unlike actively managed funds, which aim to outperform the market, index funds merely replicate a market index, limiting potential returns. Moreover, they lack flexibility in adjusting to market changes, potentially resulting in missed opportunities.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, overseen by seasoned fund managers, offer several advantages. These funds capitalize on market inefficiencies and aim to deliver superior returns by carefully selecting investments. With the ability to adapt to changing market conditions, actively managed funds may better shield investors during downturns and seize lucrative opportunities for growth.

Navigating Direct vs. Regular Funds
Direct funds, while seemingly cost-effective due to their lower expense ratios, pose challenges for individual investors. They require active involvement in research and decision-making, demanding significant time and expertise. On the contrary, investing through a Certified Financial Planner offers access to regular funds via Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs). This approach not only provides professional guidance but also streamlines the investment process, ensuring optimal portfolio allocation.

Exploring Alternative Investment Avenues
While real estate might seem lucrative, it entails substantial initial investment, illiquidity, and maintenance hassles. Thus, diversifying your investment portfolio beyond traditional avenues becomes imperative. Consider exploring options like equity mutual funds, balanced funds, or systematic investment plans (SIPs). These avenues offer potential for long-term wealth creation with relatively lower investment thresholds and professional management.

Crafting a Holistic Investment Strategy
Crafting a holistic investment strategy entails aligning your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. As a Certified Financial Planner, I emphasize the importance of periodic portfolio review and rebalancing to ensure alignment with evolving financial objectives and market dynamics. Regular monitoring and adjustments are vital to optimize returns and mitigate risks effectively.

Conclusion
In conclusion, while index funds offer simplicity, actively managed funds present compelling advantages in pursuit of higher returns and risk management. By leveraging the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner and exploring diversified investment avenues, you can navigate the financial landscape with confidence and achieve your long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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