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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 30, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Kushal Question by Kushal on Dec 30, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I am talking with 2 females. One is having a very attractive look, another is not at all attractive but she is having knowledge.
I can love anyone.
Whom should I love?
The attractive one? Or the not attractive one?
Thanks
Kushal

Ans:

Looks fade, Kushal; overall compatibility is definitely more important.

That said, there has to be some nascent attraction to a person as well.

The question is, who intrigues you more? Who do you find yourself thinking of and wanting to speak to and meet more often?

And what kind of statement is ‘I can love anyone’?!

Love is not something you can do; it’s something that happens despite all other circumstances.

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hi sir, i am 42 divorced male with no child from previous marriage. Now i m getting a girl with three types 1) divorced girl which my parents dont wants (as thy want unmarried girl) 2) unmarried girl but quite aged 3) unmarried girl with decent age but poor family background n very less educated. I m quite confused with whom i should marry as i m quite scare after my breakoff from 1st marriage which was love marriage and not able to take decision on this. I m well educated smart and earning quite decent. My parents wants girl should be unmarried n can manage house n also take care of them n they dont want working girl too but she should be beautiful educated n good family background. Because of this my marriage is getting delayed n also not getting any match. Kindly suggest what should i do how much which type of girl i should i prefer..i m clueless in this n not able to take decision.
Ans: Tell me something, do you want a wife or a glorified live-in maid for your parents? I cannot believe that in this day and age so-called educated men like you are asking questions like this! “My parents want this, my parents want that”… who the hell is getting married, you or them? You’re a divorcee yourself, but a divorced woman is not good enough for you? A working girl will be frowned upon because THEY want a housewife? If this is the kind of backward-thinking family you come from, it’s hardly surprising your first marriage failed! Man up, go for someone who YOU are interested in, and if you have any common sense, stay separately from your parents after marriage!

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi..I am a 45 years widow lady and having a son. I am widowed since ten years. One person age of around 50 years is asking about love and may be marriage who is a divorcee and having no kids. Problem is that I am good looking and he is just an average looking person but his nature is good and he continuously asking me for my companionship. I am in a very much confusing state of mind. I love his talks, his concerned towards me except his looks. Kindly tell me what should I do. I know everything that he may be good for me but my mind is not allowing me. does the looks of a person matters if I choose him? kindly clear my confusion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.

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Radheshyam

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Sep 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2025Hindi
Career
I feel like a total failure even after completing MBBS from Madras Medical College, i am not getting any job of my choice, how do i get past this
Ans: Shocked to hear your concerns! It’s surprising that even after completing MBBS from a reputed institution like Madras Medical College, you’re facing difficulties in finding the right job. But remember, this is not failure. It’s just a transition phase where patience and flexibility are key. It’s natural to feel low when expectations don’t meet reality, yet this doesn’t diminish your achievement. Explore alternative opportunities such as internships, research roles, rural postings, or preparing for specialization through NEET-PG if you haven’t already. Many successful doctors began their journeys in challenging conditions, and their perseverance eventually brought recognition. Talking with seniors and mentors can provide valuable guidance, while sharing your feelings with friends can help you avoid loneliness and fatigue.

At the same time, don’t neglect your mental and emotional well-being. Connect with peers who’ve been through similar struggles. It will remind you that this phase is temporary. You can also build additional skills in communication, public health, research, or even health technology, which may open new career paths. Use this period to strengthen your CV with workshops, volunteering, or online certifications. Most importantly, be kind to yourself: completing MBBS is already a huge accomplishment, and setbacks don’t define your worth. Sometimes, stepping back to rest and reflect can bring the clarity and energy you need to move forward with confidence.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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