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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 30, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Kushal Question by Kushal on Dec 30, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I am talking with 2 females. One is having a very attractive look, another is not at all attractive but she is having knowledge.
I can love anyone.
Whom should I love?
The attractive one? Or the not attractive one?
Thanks
Kushal

Ans:

Looks fade, Kushal; overall compatibility is definitely more important.

That said, there has to be some nascent attraction to a person as well.

The question is, who intrigues you more? Who do you find yourself thinking of and wanting to speak to and meet more often?

And what kind of statement is ‘I can love anyone’?!

Love is not something you can do; it’s something that happens despite all other circumstances.

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hi sir, i am 42 divorced male with no child from previous marriage. Now i m getting a girl with three types 1) divorced girl which my parents dont wants (as thy want unmarried girl) 2) unmarried girl but quite aged 3) unmarried girl with decent age but poor family background n very less educated. I m quite confused with whom i should marry as i m quite scare after my breakoff from 1st marriage which was love marriage and not able to take decision on this. I m well educated smart and earning quite decent. My parents wants girl should be unmarried n can manage house n also take care of them n they dont want working girl too but she should be beautiful educated n good family background. Because of this my marriage is getting delayed n also not getting any match. Kindly suggest what should i do how much which type of girl i should i prefer..i m clueless in this n not able to take decision.
Ans: Tell me something, do you want a wife or a glorified live-in maid for your parents? I cannot believe that in this day and age so-called educated men like you are asking questions like this! “My parents want this, my parents want that”… who the hell is getting married, you or them? You’re a divorcee yourself, but a divorced woman is not good enough for you? A working girl will be frowned upon because THEY want a housewife? If this is the kind of backward-thinking family you come from, it’s hardly surprising your first marriage failed! Man up, go for someone who YOU are interested in, and if you have any common sense, stay separately from your parents after marriage!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi..I am a 45 years widow lady and having a son. I am widowed since ten years. One person age of around 50 years is asking about love and may be marriage who is a divorcee and having no kids. Problem is that I am good looking and he is just an average looking person but his nature is good and he continuously asking me for my companionship. I am in a very much confusing state of mind. I love his talks, his concerned towards me except his looks. Kindly tell me what should I do. I know everything that he may be good for me but my mind is not allowing me. does the looks of a person matters if I choose him? kindly clear my confusion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Sir my rank is 16894 OC category no EWS .I got kmec CSM in second phase in tg eapcet. I am going for 3rd phase. So could you please guide me whether vidya jyoti institute of technology cse is better or kmec. In 3rd phase can I get Iare , cmrk , cvr , mgit , vjit , snist , anurag only cse and specializations . Are there any chances to get any of these colleges in 3rd phase ? Please guide me sir.
Ans: Dhaksh, With an OC category rank of 16,894 in TG EAPCET, you have secured Computer Science and Business Systems (CSM) at Keshav Memorial Engineering College (KMEC) in phase 2, and are now considering options for phase 3, including CSE at Vidya Jyothi Institute of Technology (VJIT), as well as aspirational seats at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, VJIT, SNIST, and Anurag (all CSE and related specializations). Based on the official 2024 TG EAPCET closing ranks and highly regarded educational portals, your current rank is well outside the typical closing ranks for OC candidates in CSE at top-tier colleges: CVR (3,200–4,200), MGIT (3,412–3,417), IARE (well under 1,000), SNIST and Anurag (typically under 8,000 for CSE), and CMRK (usually closes by 17,000). VJIT’s CSE (core) closed at 22,455 and AI-ML/Data Science specializations closed between 20,423–21,363, making VJIT’s CSE the only program among your choices where your rank sits comfortably within range for both core and allied branches in phase 3. KMEC’s CSM course typically has closing ranks around 17,263–18,648 for OC, which fits your present allocation and gives the campus a competitive, yet supportive environment, with strong faculty, modern infrastructure, transparent placement processes, and good industry connections. Both KMEC and VJIT have consistently placed 70–90% of eligible students in reputable IT and core companies, with experienced faculty and ample campus facilities, though VJIT is consistently rated higher for core CSE in terms of peer crowd, coding culture, alumni base, research opportunities, and recruiter interest.

In summary, at a 16,894 OC rank, you are unlikely to secure CSE at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, SNIST, or Anurag (across specializations) as their closing ranks are much lower for OC. VJIT CSE remains open in the upcoming round and is a stronger academic and placement choice than KMEC CSM. Both KMEC and VJIT offer key advantages—NAAC accreditation, modern labs, industry-engaged faculty, active coding culture, and well-structured placement cells—but VJIT provides a more prominent academic environment and greater success for core CSE aspirations.

RECOMMENDATION: Among realistic options, VJIT CSE is the preferred choice as it aligns with your rank, offers better placements, stronger academic pedigree, and deeper industry linkages. You may retain KMEC CSM as a secondary option, but prioritize VJIT CSE (and allied specializations) for a more competitive peer group, robust campus experience, and long-term professional growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hii mam i have done my registered marriage in April 2024 without knowing of my parents and now i m living in my mother's House without telling that i m married ? Now how can i convince my parents. I have told my parents about him but don't even want to talk to him or his parents.. how can i convince my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a sensitive situation. Patience and empathy is extremely important if you want to convince your parents. Understand their side; what are they objecting and why. Once you get that, it will be easier to debunk any misunderstandings they have about your relationship. Have calm one-on-one conversation with each parent instead of talking to both of them at once. Your first task is to make them listen, not immediately approve. Acknowledge any mistake they bring up; it is indeed unfair to not include your parents in your marriage decision, at least, in India. Though I am sure you had your reasons and I am not judging at all. But you need to acknowledge that it was not right of you to do that. This makes you come off more responsible, mature and sincere. Ask them gently what they do not like about your partner and once you understand it, show them his positive side.

Do not threaten, or give ultimatum. Don’t use dialogues like my life my decision if you want them to ever approve of this relationship. Be patient and give them time to come to terms with it.

Lastly, if you, even once feel that some of their objections are valid and you never saw it that way, please take things slow. We do miss a lot when we are in love. I am sure that’s not the case with you, but just in case, please do not hesitate to rethink.

Best Wishes.

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