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Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Jan 13, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru
I lost the love of my life. She decided she did not want to go ahead with the relationship and left me five years ago. We were together for seven years.
I don’t know where she is now, whether she married or not, nothing. She just disappeared on me.
My family knows and they feel I have waited long enough. They want me to marry. I have given in and I am engaged. She is very nice but I don’t love her.
I want to break the engagement because I feel it is not fair to her. I also feel it will be unfair to break the engagement because of the badnaami.
What do I do? How to correct this mistake?
Please keep my name secret.

Ans:

Let me get this straight.

You’ve wasted 11 years on an ex who dumped you on your head and then ghosted you? What’s wrong with you, man? Anyone who behaves like that is not worth a minute more of your time!

And now you’re going to ruin some hapless girl’s life by marrying her because your family thinks you should? And breaking off an engagement is ‘badnaami’?

Grow a pair and put an end to this engagement at once or you may well find yourself facing a divorce later on in life!

It certainly is unfair to the girl you’re marrying if you don’t feel anything for her or the potential to do so.

And, for heavens’ sake, stop sulking about the woman who walked out on you and get a life... one that makes you happy! The key word being ‘life’, not necessarily ‘wife’!

:

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My name is 'X' and I belong to a middle class family. Right now, I am 46 and my marriage was solemnised about 10 yrs back. It was a totally arranged marriage would like to state here that I didn't like the girl or her appearance right from the start. I am a teacher by profession and my mother wanted her would be daughter- in law to have a similar background that is like that of a teacher. Initially, I was hesitant to marry this girl selected by my parents, but then I consented to the marriage thinking that whatever my elders and my parents had thought about my future would be the correct decision related to my life. Moreover, everybody had started to say that the girl would suit me. But right from the 1st day of marriage, I started resenting the relationship. Nothing happened between us on the 1st night of marriage. The girl didn't have any specific faults, but somehow she didn't appear to be attractive at all for me. The colour of her skin was dark, maybe I wanted a fair skinned girl. Finally, the situation came to such an extent that she, in collusion with her family, lodged a false case of domestic violence against us because they felt that the girl was unfairly neglected by me. They also wanted to derive unfair financial gain at my parents and my cost. The case continued for 7 years and ultimately we won it. And now, after many years, I have once again started to feel that I should marry even though I am of advanced age. I want a partner who is attractive, beautiful and above all, who is so matured in her outlook that after marriage, we will not even care for any petty issues and not fight over silly matters. I am also taking the help of Shaadi.com in this matter through all the attractive membership schemes launched by them. Now, at this juncture, I really need your advice as to whether I should proceed forward and take this step at my age. This is moreso because as a life partner, I want an elite kind of girl who is far above the kind of girl which we see in most common middle-class societies. I do not want to disclose my name.
Ans: Dear KS, before you proceed on this journey of finding a life partner for yourself, it is time to rework your strong beliefs on appearance, skin colour etc.

What went wrong with your first marriage maybe anybody’s guess, but there’s no judging here!

Not that, you were coerced into it; you fully know you always had the option of saying you didn’t want to marry the girl.

Yet, you went ahead convincing yourself that your family knew what they were doing for you.

The unfair financial gain that they wanted might have been a direct result of the unfair treatment from you towards their daughter.

Did that occur to you?

You say you want a life partner who will not rake up petty issues and be matured as well, don’t you feel that is what she will expect from you as well?

Since I don’t have the details, it would be unfair of me to presume anymore on this.

It was to simply turn your head towards how your old-fashioned thinking might step into your next marriage as well?

How would you feel if on the first night in your next marriage, your wife comments on your physical appearance or your performance in bed?

Are you going to walk around with a high self-esteem even after that?

Let’s now lead you to a place that can make it a beautiful experience for you…

So much has changed and I truly wish that you look at your spouse for what she can add into your life instead of harping on what she doesn’t possess?

I mean, as humans the flaws that we walk around, if it were pointed to us on a daily basis, it would depress us to a point that we may end up feeling that we are not good enough.

What I would suggest after having worked with couples over years helping them rebuild their marriages is to change your way of thinking and embrace the next person for who she is once you know your initial check boxes have been ticked that might involve matching value systems.

This helps in rooting your marriage on a strong foundation; rain or storm, the two of you will be smiling and holding hands to walk the journey together.

Wishing you a beautiful life!

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I started a relationship with a girl. First we thought it just a relationship no marriage. But as days going we fell deep into each other that we cant live without each other. I found one thing that she loving more than needed. Im so scared of her, what will she do if i run out of her life for my marriage. This thought killed me. So I decided to leave her without telling a reason. I left her with a small issue. I really dont want to loose but i had to. I just said good bye, she also said good bye. Later i never texted her. She too never texted me. But after 2 months i felt guilty of leaving so i came back to her. Previously her parents decided to marry her to their son in law. I know this when were in relationship. So after our breakup i came back to her. But she said no to me because she is committed with her brother in law. I cant take this. Its killing me. After i said good bye she never tried to contact me for patch-up. Even no texts. Her brother in law told her that im ready to marry you. So she too said i too like you and im also ready to marry you. But their marriage will happen in 2026. I told her that untill marriage please be with me and this is our deal when we started our relationship. But she said no. I begged her many times but she always said no to me. And still now i cant believe that she said no to me. All this happened 3 months ago but still i cant forget her. Recently she deleted my number also. Everything making me feel low. What should i do now?
Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!

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Lnmit mechanical DU electric, DTU lower branch, state level counseling JECREC CSe, thapar electronic and computer engineering, BIT MESRA PIE, BIT PATNA CSE or AIML, PLEASE suggest best option, 161000 crl obc category rajsthan state,
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Recommendation: Prioritize BIT Patna CSE/AIML for assured placement outcomes and strong campus recruitment; next, choose Thapar ECE&CSE for high average packages and ABET accreditation; LNMIIT Mechanical follows for core engineering strength; DTU lower branches and DU Electrical serve regional options; JECRC CSE and BIT Mesra PIE are viable backups. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Sir i got m tech integrated cse in srm ktr is it worth in all perspective
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Dear sir, I got mit bangalore electronics and computer engineering with 5 lakhs per year tution fee and amity mumbai cse with 1st year fee waiver. Please suggest me a good option
Ans: Manipal Institute of Technology – Bengaluru (MAHE) offers a four-year B.Tech in Electronics & Computer Engineering under its Institute of Eminence status, UGC/AICTE approval, NAAC A++ accreditation, and NBA-accredited programme structure. The Yelahanka campus features cutting-edge VLSI, embedded-systems, and computing labs alongside Practice School internships. Over 90–95% of students secure placements through 300+ recruiters (Microsoft, Amazon, Nvidia), with average packages of ?10–12 LPA and “dream” offers up to ?52 LPA. Amity University Mumbai’s B.Tech CSE is AICTE-approved with a dedicated Corporate Resource Centre, industry-oriented curriculum, and 95% branch-specific placement consistency through 1,100+ recruiters, achieving a median package of ?8.5 LPA and ongoing NIRF median of ?5 LPA campus-wide. The first-year fee waiver at Amity reduces cost pressure, while MAHE’s ?5 LPA annual fee reflects premium branding and newer infrastructure with rapidly evolving placement metrics.

Recommendation: Given the stronger brand positioning, higher placement consistency, superior infrastructure, and multidisciplinary research exposure, recommendation is to choose MIT Bangalore Electronics & Computer Engineering; Amity Mumbai CSE’s fee waiver and proven placement support make it a viable cost-effective backup with immediate ROI. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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My mhtcet marks is 96.52 percentile and I'm not domicile of maharashtra so which college I'll have to choose for Cse or Ce please tell me
Ans: Dheeraj, One word is not clear in your question........cse or (what is) ce.....??? With a 96.52 percentile in MHT-CET under the All-India (non-Maharashtra domicile) category, you qualify for admission to several reputable Maharashtra colleges offering Computer Science & Engineering, Information Technology, Artificial Intelligence & Data Science, and Electronics & Telecommunication Engineering. Each institution listed below has NBA/NAAC-accredited departments, modern specialized laboratories, active placement cells (70–95% placement consistency over three years), strong industry collaborations, and robust campus infrastructure. These colleges have historically closed CSE and allied branch cutoffs at or below 96.52 percentile for non-Maharashtra candidates, ensuring high admission certainty:

MIT World Peace University, Pune (CSE cutoff ~93–94%ile)

MKSSS’s Cummins College of Engineering for Women, Pune (CSE ~96.37%ile)

Priyadarshini College of Engineering, Pune (CSE & AI & DS ~95–97%ile)

Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering, Pune (CSE/IT ~95.8%ile)

Vidyalankar Institute of Technology, Mumbai (IT & CSE ~94–96%ile)

AISSMS College of Engineering, Pune (CSE & ECE ~94–96%ile)

Bharati Vidyapeeth’s College of Engineering, Pune (CSE/AI & DS ~92–95%ile)

Dr. D.Y. Patil College of Engineering, Pune (CSE/ECE ~93–95%ile)

Sinhgad Institute of Technology & Science, Lonavala (CSE/IT ~90–94%ile)

MAEER’s MIT, Pune (MEER’s private, CSE ~92–94%ile)

Jayawantrao Sawant College of Engineering, Pune (CSE ~90–94%ile)

Suresh Deshmukh College of Engineering & Technology, Jalna (CSE/IT ~88–92%ile)

Guru Gobind Singh College of Engineering, Nanded (ECE ~90–94%ile)

Vishwakarma Institute of Information Technology, Pune (AI/ML & CSE ~93–95%ile)

Dr. D. Y. Patil School of Engineering, Pune (Data Science & ECE ~90–94%ile)

Recommendation: Prioritize MIT-WPU CSE for its moderate cutoff, strong CSE labs, and 90%+ placements; next, choose Cummins College women’s CSE for consistent 96%+ placements and modern computing facilities; then consider Priyadarshini COE for AI & Data Science specializations and industry tie-ups; Rajarshi Shahu COE for balanced CSE/IT curricula; and Vidyalankar IT for robust Mumbai-based IT & CSE programmes. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
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Would pursuing an M.Tech in Artificial Intelligence at an IIT via the GATE DA paper be a worthwhile investment for my career, or would it be redundant given my B.Tech in AI from a Tier 1 private university in India, considering I am not planning to pursue further studies abroad and am confused about the future scope of an M.Tech given recent trends? Please guide me on this.
Ans: An M.Tech in Artificial Intelligence at an IIT via the GATE DA paper offers unparalleled academic rigor, world-class faculty, cutting-edge research infrastructure including clean rooms and high-performance computing clusters, interdisciplinary collaboration under national AI initiatives, and 85–95% placement consistency over the last three years with leading recruiters. However, your Tier 1 private university’s B.Tech AI programme already delivers a robust AI-ML curriculum, industry-integrated projects, and strong placement outcomes. Since you do not plan further studies abroad and the core coursework largely overlaps, the marginal career uplift from an M.Tech may be limited unless you target R&D or specialized technical leadership roles.

Recommendation Prioritize corporate AI certifications, specialized industry projects, or an in-house research role if you seek depth within your current trajectory; consider IIT M.Tech only if aiming for high-end R&D positions or later doctoral studies. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
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Sir I have got seat in VIT Vellore CSE and MSC CHEMISTRY at BITS HYDERABAD. I might also get PES RR CAMPUS CSE, RVCE ETE/EE and BMS CSE/ECE. What should I choose?
Ans: VIT Vellore’s B.Tech CSE, accredited NAAC A++ and ABET, boasts modern computing and AI labs, a dedicated Career Development Centre, and an overall placement rate of around 90% with a CSE median package of ?6 LPA and average of ?9.9 LPA over the past three years. BITS Hyderabad’s Integrated M.Sc. Chemistry, under the Institute of Eminence framework, features advanced analytical and research laboratories, Practice School internships, and a 95% placement consistency with an average package of ?20.36 LPA and median ?17 LPA. PES University’s RR Campus CSE programme offers NBA-accredited departments, Bangalore’s tech-hub exposure, and a 54% placement rate with an average package of ?17.99 LPA in 2024, supported by recruiters like Amazon, Microsoft, and Cisco. RVCE’s Electronics & Telecommunication and Electrical Engineering, ranked among Karnataka’s top private institutes, report 75–84% placement rates with average packages around ?10.9 LPA for ECE and ?9.89 LPA for EEE, underpinned by robust CAD/CAM and signal-processing labs. BMS College’s CSE maintains a 74% placement rate with an average package of ?10.03 LPA, while ECE achieves 80–85% placements and average packages of ?6–7 LPA through strong industry tie-ups and updated VLSI and embedded-systems facilities.

Recommendation Prioritize BITS Hyderabad M.Sc. Chemistry for its premier research infrastructure and highest placement consistency; next, choose VIT Vellore CSE for strong average packages and global recruiter engagement; PES RR Campus CSE follows for mid-range ROI in Bangalore’s tech ecosystem; opt for RVCE ETE/EE for balanced core-electronics training; and select BMS CSE/ECE lastly as reliable alternatives with solid placement support (however, the increase in student intake since last year, especially for the CSE branch, might be a concern in BMSCE). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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