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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Apr 07, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I was in a relationship for a few years. Our parting was mutual and amicable and we are friends now.
My wedding has been fixed through an arranged match. It will take place in May.
I don’t know my fiance that well. He knows about my past relationship but does not know it was physical. I have been battling with myself if I should tell him or if I tell him this might break or that I will give my marriage a bad start.
What do you advise?
AK

Ans:

You say he already knows about your past relationship. Has he been accepting of it? If so, then there’s no need to go into the nitty gritty details, is there?

People in relationships are obviously physical with each other; only a fool would assume otherwise.

And what about his past? Has he told you about it?

Yes, I do think you should be honest with your partner if it’s weighing on you or bothering you. If not, and suffice to say he knows of your past relationship and hasn’t asked for further details, then leave it alone.

But I will say this: if you do tell him, you’ll know the kind of man you’re marrying.

If he’s fine with it and accepts that everyone has a history and it is to be accepted as part of them, that’s fine.

If not, then, well, I would call off the marriage if I were in your place, forget him doing so! Who wants to be married to an old-fashioned chauvinist?

 

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Hi, I am struck in a morally complicated situation right now. Kindly guide me . I'm a modern woman yet who believes in culture. I am 24years old female from South India. Currently arrange marriage alliance process is going on and it is almost about to be finalized if i say yes. I have had a 3 serious relationship s in my past and the last one i was physically involved because i believed we would end up together. Even our families were involved we were about to get engaged. everything went fine until one day we had a huge fight and later as a result he didn't want to continue it anymore. He broke it off. This happened 1.5 years back and I loved him too much that I wanted him to comeback. Deep down i know he was not right guy for me yet i wanted him. About 2 months back I had a sudden realisation that hit me very bad I realised I need to move on and mentally I was able to disconnect myself from him, not completely but yeah i did. Now in the current situation the guy who is my potential fiance, I want to be transparent with him but I am not sure how well he will take it as we barely know each other. I met him only twice. He seems interested to marry me. I do not want to ruin his trust or feelings. The problem is I am not sure if he is open minded enough to accept my past. I'm willing to put in my efforts to make things work in marriage and keep my past behind me. If I tell him about my past and he is not interested to proceed and reject us my family will be upset ( they liked this match cuz the guy was nice and decent, his family and everything was convenient to them). I am totally stressed out as my family is waiting for my response to proceed further. The guy doesn't seem to be very particular about anything. I don't know what to do and how to do it.
Ans: I totally understand your concern. My advise is not to get into arrange marriage in the first place. Because that's a very transactional relationship. Go out, meet more guys and then see if you find someone you love. You are too young to give into the pressure of arrange marriage. However if you still want to proceed, then whether you tell him or not doesn't really matter. It depends on his mindset and value system which i have no idea about and probably you too. So even if you don't tell him, it doesn't matter. If you want to be honest which is a good thing, then you embrace that uncertainty of his reaction to it.

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Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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I met my this guy through my father in the arranged marriage setup. We developed a great rapport and a week ago,we got engaged.My fiancé is a really sweet guy! He has asked about my love life in the past,which i denied of having one. Even though he shared of a girl proposing him.Actually, i can share if the need arises but i am little afraid to share now,because when i shared my past with my former partner,he continued to taunt me throughout our relationship and never let me breath easily despite proving my innocence. I dont know what to do regarding my fiance? Should i tell him or just liet it be?
Ans: It's understandable to feel hesitant about sharing your past given your previous experience. Trust and transparency are important in a relationship, but timing and context matter as well. Since your fiancé has already shared some of his past with you, this indicates he values openness. However, your past experiences have taught you to be cautious. It might be helpful to observe and build trust in your current relationship before disclosing your past. If your fiancé continues to show understanding and kindness, it could create a safe space for you to share more about yourself. When you do decide to share, frame it as a way to build deeper trust and intimacy, emphasizing that past experiences have shaped who you are today. If he truly respects and cares for you, he will appreciate your honesty and the strength it took to share your story. Remember, the right partner will support and accept all parts of your journey.

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 12, 2024Hindi
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I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend since 1.5 years. Before meeting him I had a relationship of around1.3 years(he cheated on me) and my mother got to know about it when she saw me crying and i end up telling her about my relationship(now ex). So I just need advice, should I tell my current boyfriend that my mother know about my ex? Now My mother somehow almost got to know about my current relationship also and i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.? Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
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I’m 36M, I met a girl in my office, who works in the same department. It was love at first site for me, but I was scared to tell her that. As time passed, I used to strike some casual conversations with her or her team to connect with her and there were some clear signs that she liked me, for example, she would call me or text me why I’m not talking to her if I didn’t message her for some time (a week) or she would ask me if I was coming to office as we were working Hybrid if not she would also not come to office. But she always refused to come out with me for a movie or date/meet saying she had a very strict family and cannot come out other than office. I used to think that this was a real thing. But all this went on until her birthday arrived. I got some gift to give her on her birthday only to know that she suddenly stopped talking to me, no replies to my messages, calls or anything. At first, I was bit concerned if there was any problem or if she was in any trouble. But little did I know it was not the case at this time. After few (many) attempts trying to reach her. I though maybe she could be busy or something and I understood may be if I did not disturb her, she might call back. Time went on I again met her after 4 or 5 months in Office with no contact. By this time, I had already realised there was something wrong and she had already lost interest in me. But still I felt like I wanted to have a closure on this and I went on and gave the gift and proposed her, that is when she told me that she was in a relationship with some other person for 4 years. This blew my mind to pieces, as I was thinking why would someone shows any sort of interest on someone when they are already in relationship with some other person. I tried to move away from her after this incident, but fate we still are working in the same department and that I have to see her more often than not. I still have strong feelings for her, but I cannot show this to her and worst act normal. Whenever I see her, I want to talk to her and If I talk to her, I fall for her again and again. But she is happy and casual about all this as if there was not casualty in whole of this thing. Even now she asks me if I’m coming to office so that she could meet me. So, through all this, I have some questions 1. Why does a women show any sort of Interest on someone else when she is already in a relationship, so she can use me as a options and throw away when done 2. How do I move on, as I did not love her for some superficial features, rather I really liked her character, and that is the worst as I feel like I’ll never be able to find anyone like her in my life. Feeling down for a long time now. I’m already 36, feels like all the doors have closed for me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are hurt and upset, and rightfully so. You thought she liked you but turns out, she is with someone else. It's a good enough ground to be upset. But I want you to understand one thing- you thought; she never gave you verbal confirmation. You assumed it all. So to answer your first question- all of her interest in you might have been friendly. It is difficult for me to say it with confidence because I have not seen any of this while it happened; I am only hearing your version of it. But my guess is that she thought of you as a friend or maybe, for a while there, she might have had feelings for you, but then realized that she was committed and pulled herself back. Again, all of these are my assumptions. We do not know the truth. Only she does. The next time, whenever you think someone likes you, get verbal confirmation before you act on it.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7742 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am a 36 years old man, father of 2 (5y & 2y), Our income is 40Lacs pa post tax addition to that we have a rental income of 50K pm, our monthly expense is around 40K which is taken care by rents. Doing a SIP of 2.5 lac with total investment of 28L , have a RD of 25 L, ULIP -10L, Gold- 50L, I want to be financially independent in next 10 years. No loan , no credit cards., Has a medical policy of 25L. Emergency fund of 10L. Please advice how i can achieve financial independence in next 10 years.
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Position
You are 36 years old with a goal of financial independence in 10 years.

Your annual post-tax income is Rs 40 lakh, with an additional rental income of Rs 50,000 per month.

Your monthly expenses are Rs 40,000, which are fully covered by rental income.

Your current investments include:

Rs 2.5 lakh SIP per month
Rs 28 lakh in mutual funds
Rs 25 lakh in RD
Rs 10 lakh in ULIP
Rs 50 lakh in gold
Rs 10 lakh emergency fund
You have no loans or credit cards, which is a strong financial position.

Your health insurance is Rs 25 lakh, which is good but may need a review later.

2. Defining Financial Independence
Financial independence means having passive income that covers all expenses.

You need enough wealth to generate returns that sustain your lifestyle.

Your target should be to build a portfolio that provides stable income after 10 years.

3. Optimising Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds – Increase Allocation
Your Rs 2.5 lakh SIP is excellent, but it needs active management.

Actively managed funds provide better returns than index funds.

Direct mutual funds lack professional management. Investing through an MFD with CFP credential helps maximise returns.

Maintain a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for stability and growth.

Recurring Deposit (RD) – Shift to Growth Assets
Rs 25 lakh in RD earns lower returns compared to equity.

Consider shifting RD funds gradually into mutual funds for better compounding.

Keep only a portion in fixed-income instruments for stability.

ULIP – Consider Surrendering
ULIPs mix insurance with investment, which reduces returns.

Surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds can improve returns significantly.

Keep insurance separate from investments for better wealth creation.

Gold – Maintain a Balanced Allocation
Rs 50 lakh in gold is a significant portion of your portfolio.

Gold is good for diversification but does not generate passive income.

Consider reducing gold exposure and reallocating to growth-oriented assets.

4. Asset Allocation for Financial Independence
A well-diversified portfolio ensures long-term stability and wealth growth.

Your asset allocation can be:

60% in equity mutual funds
20% in debt funds and bonds
10% in gold and other assets
10% in liquid funds for short-term needs
Adjust allocation every year based on market performance.

5. Passive Income Strategy
Your goal is to generate passive income through investments.

SIPs will build a strong equity base over the next 10 years.

A mix of mutual funds and debt instruments will provide steady cash flow.

Rental income already covers monthly expenses, which is an advantage.

After 10 years, your investments should generate returns covering all financial needs.

6. Emergency Fund and Insurance Review
Emergency Fund
Your Rs 10 lakh emergency fund is good.

Keep this amount in liquid funds or fixed deposits for easy access.

Maintain at least six months of expenses as a backup.

Health Insurance
Your Rs 25 lakh health cover is decent, but medical costs rise over time.

Consider increasing coverage to Rs 50 lakh if affordable.

Ensure it covers critical illness and long-term care needs.

7. Retirement and Children’s Education Planning
Retirement Planning
Financial independence should include a secure retirement plan.

Your investments will continue growing even after achieving independence.

Keep investing to ensure financial security beyond the next 10 years.

Children’s Education
Education costs will rise significantly over time.

Start a dedicated investment plan for your children’s higher education.

Equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon will help meet this goal.

8. Tax Efficiency and Wealth Preservation
Efficient tax planning ensures you maximise post-tax returns.

Long-term capital gains tax is lower on equity investments.


Regularly review your tax liability to optimise investment returns.

9. Monitoring and Adjusting the Plan
Review your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance investments if market conditions change.

Keep track of financial independence progress based on wealth accumulation.

10. Final Insights
Your financial position is strong, and your goal is achievable.

Shifting from low-return assets to equity will help in long-term wealth creation.

Active management of investments will ensure better returns and financial security.

Keep insurance separate from investments to avoid lower returns.

A disciplined approach to investing and spending will lead to financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Harsh Bharwani  |73 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Career
Hi what business can I start with 20000rs?
Ans: Hello Mr. Anuj,
Starting a business in India with a budget of ?20,000 is entirely possible with strategic planning, local market research, and minimal infrastructure. Whether you prefer a home-based model, freelancing, or product-based business, several viable options can generate steady income. Here’s a detailed guide to ten promising business ideas tailored for the Indian market.

Online Reselling via Dropshipping
Dropshipping allows you to sell products without holding inventory. Popular categories include eco-friendly products, ethnic jewellery, and mobile accessories. Profit margins range from 30–50%, but success depends on social media marketing and supplier reliability.

Freelancing Services
If you have skills in content writing, graphic design, or video editing, freelancing can be a lucrative option. A laptop and internet connection are the only real requirements. Building a strong online presence on LinkedIn or Fiverr can help secure consistent clients.

Home Tutoring/Coaching
With increasing competition in academics, home tutoring is a stable business. Charging ?1,000–2,000 per student per month ensures recurring income. The demand peaks during exam seasons, making it a great long-term option.

Event Decoration
Event decoration, especially in Tier-2 and Tier-3 cities, is a creative and profitable business. Specializing in birthday parties, anniversaries, and wedding decor can help build a niche. However, the business is seasonal.

Customized Printing
Selling custom-printed T-shirts, mugs, and gifts online is a trendy business. With social media marketing, you can attract college students and young professionals who love personalized products. However, printer maintenance costs should be considered.

Key Tips for Success
Legal Compliance: Register as a sole proprietorship for hassle-free operations.
Smart Marketing: Use WhatsApp Business, Instagram Reels, and Google My Business for cost-effective promotions.
Cost Control: Rent equipment (e.g., cloud kitchens) instead of buying to minimize overheads.
Customer Feedback: Focus on refining offerings based on customer preferences.
Start Small, Scale Later: Test your business model before making large investments.
With careful planning, minimal investment, and the right strategy, starting a business with ?20,000 in India is not only possible but also profitable. Choose a business aligned with your skills and local market demand, and take the first step toward entrepreneurship today!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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