I had lost my virginity before marriage, at the age of 18 and now I'm 26 years old but now I Going to marry someone else.did my future husband know that I have lost my virginity when I have intercourse with my ex, we had 7 to 9 years of relationship till now but that relationship did not worked so we broke up recently. Now I'm going to marry next year ending. What should I do? Its a arrange marriage if he knows all that shits then my family reputation is also harm. What should I do to this situation. I can't tell anyone about this and what is the solution that he never know about my past life..i want to hide from him that I'm not virgin.

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I get that it's tricky but you have to understand that it's all in your head. Your exes might not even care, or even if they do, it does not matter. Your present partner doesn't have an issue with your past, and neither should you. What you are concerned about is a mere social construct. So every time you feel this way, make yourself understand that there's nothing to be guilty about.
Best Wishes.