Hello Anu Madam!
I have two kids (daughter 13 and son 10 years old).
My son has a habit to go to sleep at 10 pm but he always requires me to be besides him.
Whenever, I tell him that I will come after some time, then he asks me at what time, if I say 10.30 or 11 pm then he keeps on watching the clock for the time. And he comes to me that the time is up and come to sleep.
If sometimes, I scold him and put to sleep and I go out in the hall, he is still awake after two hours also.
If I sleep with my son then he has a sound sleep and is not disturbed.
I am worried about his behaviour of sleeping with me as he is growing up and I want him to sleep on his own.
Please help, how can I do it naturally without harming his feelings.
Thanking you
Regards,
M

Dear M,

Is there a reason why he insists on you being with him?

When did this exactly start, or has it been like this right from when he was a baby? Wanting to still cling on could also be a sign of some underlying stress within the family.

Whatever the reason is, it is certainly useful to wean him off from the emotional security he seeks from you which is satisfied by your physical presence.

What if this emotional security can be fulfilled in other ways?

Like for example: Stories. Stories are a way by which you can bring real life situations without really suggesting anything but driving the point home through a character.

Now, will this work? You can surely give this a fair chance. Start by introducing a character that is around your son’s age and height but with a different name and build a story of his triumph over insecurity and fear and into confidence and happiness.

Also, you can wean off the time you are with him during his bedtime; like if you need to be with him for an hour before he sleeps, bring it down to 30 mins, 15 mins, 10 mins.

Keep a warm, soft light on till he sleeps.

Reassure him that no matter what; you love him and will always do.

Hug him a lot during the day (if he is a child that likes the sensory touch and feel).

Watch movies that show care and love in the family system.

And love, love and love him a lot and show him just that.

All the best!