My son is 16 years old and seems to have these issues with sleep patterns. He can barely sleep especially prior to exam dates. How can I help him resolve this so he can sleep peacefully?

Ans:

Dear M,

Is there a reason why he insists on you being with him?

When did this exactly start, or has it been like this right from when he was a baby? Wanting to still cling on could also be a sign of some underlying stress within the family.

Whatever the reason is, it is certainly useful to wean him off from the emotional security he seeks from you which is satisfied by your physical presence.

What if this emotional security can be fulfilled in other ways?

Like for example: Stories. Stories are a way by which you can bring real life situations without really suggesting anything but driving the point home through a character.

Now, will this work? You can surely give this a fair chance. Start by introducing a character that is around your son’s age and height but with a different name and build a story of his triumph over insecurity and fear and into confidence and happiness.

Also, you can wean off the time you are with him during his bedtime; like if you need to be with him for an hour before he sleeps, bring it down to 30 mins, 15 mins, 10 mins.

Keep a warm, soft light on till he sleeps.

Reassure him that no matter what; you love him and will always do.

Hug him a lot during the day (if he is a child that likes the sensory touch and feel).

Watch movies that show care and love in the family system.

And love, love and love him a lot and show him just that.

All the best!

Ans: By 10, the child should sleep through the night without having to pass urine. See that he drinks no fluids from 1 hour before bedtime. For example, if he sleeps by 10, last fluid intake should be before 9 pm. This means no milk either. He need to pass urine at 9 pm and then again at 10 pm, i.e.1 hour before and at bedtime.
Also, no screen time for 2 hours before bedtime.
If , in spite of these measures, he still needs to pass urine after sleeping, then he needs a urine test and a check up.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The main issues:
1. Lack of focus which can be due to lack of interest in his chosen field of academics
2. Lack of discipline which can be due to excess online presence
Visit to the psych (psychologist or psychiatrist?) has not been fruitful simply because in his mind there is no issue to solve and sort. Till he becomes aware of what his actions are causing, the process with an expert will not work.
I suggest find an expert in your city/town who can handle adolescents especially in this digital age as the life out there for them is confusing and perhaps intimidating as well.
In the meantime, motivate him by being with him rather than pointing what he is and isn't doing. That is only going to make him go further into a shell. Arguments and then crying could be his way of not being able to cope up with pressures of what he is going through. Support him and eventually through therapy/counseling/coaching, he will be able to gather himself and do what's right for him.

All the best!

Ans: Sleep is one of the most important state wherein rejuvenation happens
Sleep deprivation is the culprit to many illness.
Sleep is also a discipline which needs to be followed with certain conditions
Present day working culture living style draws away from holding this discipline
Does your son feel the impact of this sleeplessness?
Does he want to do something about this?