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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1107 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Mar 25, 2023

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan has been practising for 30 years.
She specialises in general medicine, child development and senior citizen care.
A graduate from Madurai Medical College, she has DNB training in paediatrics and a postgraduate degree in developmental neurology.
She has trained in Tai chi, eurythmy, Bothmer gymnastics, spacial dynamics and yoga.
She works with children with development difficulties at Sparrc Institute and is the head of wellness for senior citizens at Columbia Pacific Communities.... more
S Question by S on Mar 18, 2023Hindi
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My son, 18 years old is sleeping only for 4-5 hrs daily ( 12am to 5 am). Is it ok in long run? He is a college student and spends time on gym and studies.

Ans: It is not the quantity but the quality of sleep that matters. If his energy level in focus and concentration are good to see the day then no problem. Please ensure his hydration, balanced nutrition and timely meals
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1194 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2022

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Hello Anu Madam!I have two kids (daughter 13 and son 10 years old).My son has a habit to go to sleep at 10 pm but he always requires me to be besides him.Whenever, I tell him that I will come after some time, then he asks me at what time, if I say 10.30 or 11 pm then he keeps on watching the clock for the time. And he comes to me that the time is up and come to sleep.If sometimes, I scold him and put to sleep and I go out in the hall, he is still awake after two hours also.If I sleep with my son then he has a sound sleep and is not disturbed.I am worried about his behaviour of sleeping with me as he is growing up and I want him to sleep on his own.Please help, how can I do it naturally without harming his feelings.Thanking youRegards,M
Ans:

Dear M,

Is there a reason why he insists on you being with him?

When did this exactly start, or has it been like this right from when he was a baby? Wanting to still cling on could also be a sign of some underlying stress within the family.

Whatever the reason is, it is certainly useful to wean him off from the emotional security he seeks from you which is satisfied by your physical presence.

What if this emotional security can be fulfilled in other ways?

Like for example: Stories. Stories are a way by which you can bring real life situations without really suggesting anything but driving the point home through a character.

Now, will this work? You can surely give this a fair chance. Start by introducing a character that is around your son’s age and height but with a different name and build a story of his triumph over insecurity and fear and into confidence and happiness.

Also, you can wean off the time you are with him during his bedtime; like if you need to be with him for an hour before he sleeps, bring it down to 30 mins, 15 mins, 10 mins.

Keep a warm, soft light on till he sleeps.

Reassure him that no matter what; you love him and will always do.

Hug him a lot during the day (if he is a child that likes the sensory touch and feel).

Watch movies that show care and love in the family system.

And love, love and love him a lot and show him just that.

All the best!

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir, I'm 44 years of age and want to plan for creating a corpus of 5 Cr by age of 60. I have 40L lying in savings which I want to invest in MFs and start with Monthly SIP as well apart from this. At 60 I'm looking to start a SWP, in regards to this could you please suggest which MFs should I invest in to achieve this goal and how should I diversify SIP and lumpsum investments? Thank you!!
Ans: Hello;

Please deploy the 40 L staggered over 6 months in pure equity mutual funds.

Also start a monthly sip of 40 K for 16 years.

You may allocate sip and lumpsum as follows:
1. Flexicap type mutual fund for eg. PPFAS flexicap fund[G] (25%)

2. Large and Midcap type mutual fund for eg. Kotak equity opportunities fund[G] (25%)

3. Midcap type mutual fund for eg. Nippon India Growth fund[G] (25%)

4. Smallcap type mutual fund for eg SBI small cap fund [G] (12.5%)

5. Thematic type mutual fund for eg Tata Digital fund[G] (12.5%)

Funds recommended are in top quartile in terms of performance in their respective category.

Both sip and lumpsum investments will yield you a corpus of 5 Cr+, 16 years from now, as desired.

After 55 you need to transfer your gains to liquid or ultra short duration debt funds to protect it against market volatility.

After retirement you move your corpus to conservative hybrid debt type mutual fund for eg. Kotak debt hybrid fund and do an SWP at the rate of 3% annually you may expect a monthly income of 1.25 L(pre-tax).

Happy Investing!!

*Investments in mutual funds are subject to market risks. Please read all scheme related documents carefully before investing.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |352 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

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Hello, I m 21 female I m in a long distance relationship with 32 year male.this person was behind me and always asked me to give him a chance to prove his love for me. At that period i was afaird of relationships as I didn't have courage to go against wish of my parents as i know they wolud never agree for love marriage,so that is fir sure i'll do arrange Marriage. All these things have been explained by my side to this person.He gad feelings for me thats what he showed to me even I felt a connection towards him, so we decided let's not commit anything anout marraige as we both wee not sure about these thing. After some time i realised these person has already made his mind ki he'll date me and he wanted to have everything that an relationship has but he will not marry me.But i m completely in love with.Even i told him about it ki I can't share him n won't be able to see him.with someone else.i just can't imagine myself without him. I fought with him even begged and cried but he always defend his self sayi g i told already ki he loves me and will keep loving me but will not marry me . He vists me after 6-9 months interval every time he visuts me he needs to have physical relationship. I don't know whether I m right or wrong but i feel like I m being used by him. I tried several time to end this relationship but i end up chasing him.Plz help me,guide me
Ans: Dear Rutuja,
If you have the slightest feeling that he doesn't share the same feelings for you as you do for him, or that he has wrong intentions, you have every right to end the relationship. In fact, that would be the right thing to do. I understand that it is difficult to break up with someone you love, but does he love you? Don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and does not make you feel as if you are being used?

Have a clear conversation with him- address all your concerns. If he still maintains his stand of not getting married to you, then let him know that you are not on the same page as him. Remember, for a relationship to work, your future goals need to align.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |352 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2024
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I am a girl who met a muy in a friendly chat app and been talking to him through text and calls since the past 6 months...he told me about his past 3 breakups which were online too and he didnt meet those girls.He told he loved my nature and loves me madly n cannot live without me..i was moving with him as a friend initially,but feeling turned into love gradually..he lied to me about his name too n i found many a times flirting and chatting with other girls.Still i have forgiven as he is my first love. Recently,I met with an accident and was in a serious condition ..my phone was with my relative and she told him about my condition when he put a message to me.He even asked my relatives about the hospital address n my relative has given it. He didn't turn up and was chatting online with other girls till early morning n continued later too by chatting n cracking jokes when i was in such a serious condition.A friend of mine told me about this. When i confronted him after my discharge,he told my relative didnt give the response which is a lie ..as the proof chatting with other girls is there..n later he didnt even text to know how am i for 2days.. I am an emotional girl ,attaching n detaching is a bit difficult thing...i am broken ..when he didnt love me ..what made him use the words like he cannot live without me n will marry me. He asked for a chance,i am fed up of his lies..i made him introduce to my parents also..When i am so true to him..why does he need to chat n flirt with other girls?..even after knowing my condition instead of meeting me..he was chatting.. We still didnt meet,thought of meeting n met with an accident Does he deserve an other chance or should i leave him,please suggest mam.Why is he doing so?.I even helped him small amounts financially too when he asked for.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very concerned about the last part of your question where you mentioned helping him financially. We ask all our dating app users not to discuss money let alone involve in a financial transaction with an online match. It gives me the impression that he might have been pursuing the relationship with you for monetary benefits; I am not saying that with surety but there is always a chance of that happening.

And now let's address your main concern- if you should give him another chance. I cannot decide that for you but let me ask you one thing- do you think you deserve to be with a person who did not care that you were in a critical condition and continued flirting with others? Even if we keep your accident aside, do you think it is a healthy relationship where one partner keeps flirting with people outside the relationship? I don't think so.

Please make the right choice and don't focus on momentary happiness, think about how this relationship will affect your future.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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