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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am in a long distance relationship. We haven't met each other . It's been 6 months ,but the guy does not talk about marriage. He keeps telling we will decide about it after meeting each other. I am getting attached to him emotionally and i am constantly anxious about future . I tried to stop talking to him various times,but he keeps coming back . He keeps telling me he loves me ,but his actions do not match his words . Shall i give him time untill we met and keep in touch with him or shall i stop this here .Please guide . I am getting emotionally unstable day by day.

Ans: What will you tell your friend if they are in a similar situation? If a friend of mine shared as you did this is what I would tell her (1) six months, in the same country and neither have made efforts to meet - its a red flag (2) you wish to marry a man you have not seen or spent time with, is something you need to STOP wishing. This is not a movie, get real and stop having these thoughts. (3) I will ask her to invest her positive emotions in something she can feel, touch, hear vs on someone she has no idea about. I would suggest to send him one message saying that, its been wonderful knowing you, look forward to seeing you, let me know when can you make that happen and leave it there, if he write back to engage on topics that do not talk about his plans to meet, then to BLOCK him and simultaneously look to know and meet other men.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, my story is quite big. I am 43 and I love a man of my caste who is 52. He is not married and my father had showed me his profile in 2006 for marriage. Those days I was not interested in marriage and so I rejected him. I saw his profile in March 2019 in matrimony and sent him interest and he gave me a reply. I fell in love with his profile in 2020 and further gave him reply on his mobile. I went to see him in Pune in 2020 October. Since then we have only been chatting on WhatsApp. When I asked for commitment in Feb 2021, he said his sister is not keeping well. Then he lost his father in August 2021. Earlier in 2020 he used to call me and we used to talk for hours. It all stopped in 2021 February when his sister fell sick. Now I stopped messaging him but he still keeps sending me some or other forwards. He says he wants to marry me (He said this Jan last year when I asked him if he is interested in marriage) but this year has been tough. I am really fed up of the delay. I still love him very much. He is very intelligent and professionally qualified and has good hobbies -- he is a Himalayan trekker and has sent me pics of his trek. He also encourages me to do many things but I am bored of the delay. Should I trust him and wait for him?
Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am in a relationship with a guy for 5 months. I met him via social media. We know each other since a year. Initially I saw him only as a friend, but we grew close, talked daily for a year, met a few times and decided to date. But I am still confused if he is right for me. It's a long distance relationship and I am not able to connect as much as him. I am not able to decide if I want to spend my life with him. He is too deeply involved, and that scares me, I try to break up because I feel it's not fair to him, but I end up going back to him because I miss him. This continues. I am stuck in a loop, I don't know what to do. Please advice.
Ans:

Dear DJ,

It can be a little difficult to know people through social media as they are at their amazing best there; pictures, videos, status updates usually is for someone else to validate them and possibly does not reflect who they truly are. And yet you call it a relationship? How?

Also, you have chosen to feel guilty for being upfront about it or take a decision to move on.

How much of emotions are invested in this ‘relationship’ or have you grown it in the mind to an extent that doesn’t even exist?

Time to introspect and evaluate:

Who is he?

How much do I know him despite speaking to him every day?

Does his thoughts and idea match mine?

How do you know that he is deeply involved?

Could just feeling lonely be the reason that the two of you are stuck in this?

I have no clue how old you are but I can tell you one thing; there is no future where there is no true love and for true love to grow, one needs to be with another person initially, investing time in one another.

In your case check if the two of you can meet and maybe things might fall into place after that clearing up many of these confusions.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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Relationship
 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Team: I have moved out of India more than a year ago for job reasons and employed at Germany , I hold multiple investments in stocks approx 10L and mutual funds approx 20L through various fundhouses. All these investments were made when I was employed in India. I plan to return to India after 3-4 years, should I continue to hold these investments as is? Or should I be converting these investments? Or should I be withdrawing them? Could you please suggest the right option to be compliant with IT regulations. Thanks in advance
Ans: You have built a good investment base before shifting to Germany. Maintaining compliance and preserving these investments for your return is very important. Here is a 360-degree view of your choices.

? Understand Your Tax Residency Status
– Your tax residency status in India determines compliance.
– India follows residential status based on days spent in India.
– If you are NRI, you are taxed only on Indian income.
– Mutual fund capital gains in India are still taxable when redeemed.
– If you remain resident, global income becomes taxable in India.
– Confirm your residency status each year based on Indian rules.
– Filing ITR correctly matters. Non-compliance can attract penalties.

? Continue Holding Investments - Benefits and Risks
– Holding mutual funds and stocks keeps them invested for future growth.
– They continue compounding until you return.
– You avoid capital gains tax until redemption.
– But you still must file ITR annually.
– You may need to declare them in schedule for your NRI status.
– You also must ensure KYC and FATCA filings are up-to-date.
– Let these grow if your goal is long-term preservation.
– Investments in Indian mutual funds are easy to redeem when you return.
– Avoid direct index funds or international funds; they don’t give downside protection.
– Prefer actively managed funds through regular plans.
– As you plan to return, long-term equity exposure can continue.

? Switching or Converting Investments
– You may consider converting direct equity or equity funds.
– But conversion to NFO or fund switch may trigger tax if sold.
– A switch within fund family is treated as redemption.
– Conversions rarely help unless fund is poor performer.
– Better is to continue the existing fund if performance is acceptable.
– If you find underperformers, exit gradually to manage tax and timing.
– Avoid moving money to products that attract more tax or lock-in.

? Option to Redeem Investments Before Return
– You could redeem some or all mutual funds before returning.
– LTCG applies at 12.5% above Rs 1.25 lakh exempt threshold.
– STCG taxed at 20%. Plan redemptions across years to reduce tax burden.
– Redeem in stages, ideally over 3 years, to avoid large tax impact in one year.
– Use proceeds to invest in safer assets or move to Germany if needed.
– But keep remaining money invested to benefit from long-term compounding.
– Redeeming entirely early may reduce growth potential.

? Income Tax Compliance While Abroad
– NRIs must file income tax return if taxable in India.
– Dividend from mutual funds and stocks is taxable but with TDS.
– If TDS exceeds tax liability, claim refund by filing return.
– Bonus dividends may attract higher TDS.
– You must maintain bank FDs or mutual fund interest records to file ITR.
– Provide your foreign address in Form 15CA/15CB if you remit money abroad.
– Failure to comply can lead to penalties or interest charges.

? Goal Alignment for Return after 3–4 Years
– Your goal is to return in 3–4 years. Use that to plan investments.
– If you will need funds soon after return, start partial redemptions in advance.
– For long-term needs post-return, keep equity investments intact.
– If you plan to purchase property or fund family goals on return – create separate mutual fund bucket now.
– Reb alance so short-term needs are in liquid or conservative funds.
– Preserve mid-to-long-term corpus in equity funds via SIP or lumpsum.

? Use Regular Plan Route, Avoid Direct Plans
– NRI investors sometimes choose direct plan to save fees.
– But direct plans lack professional guidance, reviews, and rebalancing.
– For long-term benefit and oversight, prefer regular plan route.
– A Certified Financial Planner ensures goal tracking and risk management.
– This becomes more useful as your residency and tax laws evolve.

? Avoid Index Funds and ETFs for This Money
– Index funds replicate market index. There is no downside cushion.
– When markets fall, they drop fully.
– They do not adapt to changing market conditions.
– Actively managed funds provide risk monitoring and strategic shifting.
– For important goals and international residency shifts, that flexibility is valuable.

? Consider Currency Planning
– When you return, you may bring back funds to Indian rupees.
– Keep currency exchange rate in mind. Converting at unfavorable rate reduces value.
– If you plan to continue holding investments in India, there is no currency risk until you remit.
– But if redeeming while abroad, choose optimal timing for rupee strength.
– You may use NRO bank account for Indian investments and NRE for remittance.
– Consult a tax aware advisor in Germany and India to avoid double tax issues.

? Keep Documents Well?Organised
– Maintain fund investment statements, dividends and transaction details.
– File ITR showing these investments and any tax paid.
– This ensures legal compliance on return.
– If you receive letters from mutual fund houses or tax authorities, respond promptly.
– Declare capital gains correctly to avoid penalty interest.

? Action Plan Summary
– Confirm your tax residency status each financial year.
– Continue holding good-performing mutual funds and stocks.
– Use regular funds via CFP for goal tracking.
– Identify any poor-performing assets and exit gradually.
– If planned return expense is due soon after return, begin phased redemption.
– Spread capital gains across multiple years to reduce tax.
– Build a goal bucket if you expect expenses on return.
– Keep fund and dividend tax records for compliance.
– Avoid index funds and direct plans. Stick to active mutual funds via regular plan.
– Maintain NRO/NRE account correctly. Monitor FATCA reporting and PAN filings.

? Final Insights
You have maintained a well?built equity base even after moving abroad. Continuing your investments with thoughtful planning is wise. The focus should be on compliance, risk alignment, and goal linkage. Avoid impulsive redemption or shifting without strategy. With a certified financial planner guiding you via regular fund plans, you can preserve this wealth, remain tax?compliant, and use it effectively when you return in 3?4 years.

Your financial horizon remains strong even from abroad. Smart timing, structured withdrawals, ongoing oversight and goal clarity will help you bridge between Germany and your future back in India confidently.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9561 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Career
Sir i am getting BIT bangalore AI and ML in my first round counselling of Comedk..should i accept and freeze it or accept and upgrade it ??...moreover is BIT bangalore good for the above said branch ??
Ans: Aryan, you have not mentioned your COMEDK Rank. Anyway, please note, Bangalore Institute of Technology (BIT) began its B.E. in Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning (AI & ML) in the 2022–23 academic year, offering 60 seats annually under the full-time program. The institute is NAAC A+ accredited and known for solid industry connections, with its campus centrally located in Bengaluru's tech hub. Infrastructure for AI & ML is robust, benefiting from significant investment in modern labs and digital resources. Placements at BIT are consistent, with core branches seeing rates over 80% and some reports indicating placement percentages close to 95% for eligible students across disciplines in recent years. While specific placement data for the newest AI & ML batch is not yet available due to the branch's recent inception, the overall trend in BIT’s campus recruitment is promising, featuring top recruiters in tech and product companies. Faculty in the AI & ML department are experienced, but student feedback describes them as average and recommends supplementing classroom learning with self-driven projects and online certifications to remain industry-relevant. Hostel capacity may not suffice for all students; most opt for PG accommodations nearby. The flexible curriculum allows students independence to learn beyond classwork, and the academic environment reduces excessive pressure, making it accessible to maintain a good CGPA.

Recommendation
Given BIT’s reputation, recent investments in AI & ML infrastructure, high general placement rates, and strategic industry location, you can confidently accept and freeze your seat if you prefer security and stability. Accept with upgrade only if you are seeking even higher-ranked institutes. For committed learners, BIT AI & ML is a sound option aligning with future tech trends. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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