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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 03, 2023

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2023Hindi
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Hi LG, I have been married for 35+ years, last Jan my wife walked out on me for no apparent reason, ours has been a troubled marriage and this is not the first time she is walking out on me. She filed a domestic violence complaint against me at the local police station, which after instigation by the police was rejected by them. Its been more than 1.5 years now since she walked out, i tried to get family elders to talk to her so as to come to an amicable settlement, but she refuses to talk. I would like to end this relationship as i do not trust her anymore, kindly let me know what are my legal options and how i can end this relationship with minimum financial and asset damage to self

Ans: Contact a divorce lawyer who can advice you on how to file for separation and the best way forward.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have 28 + years of frustrated and abusive and absolutely unsatisfied marriage. It was arranged but involved bitterness from both sides. My father did my relationship because of temptation and so many false facts from the in -laws' side. I was not interested but due to family compulsions I couldn't resist. Somehow i feel sad that my father got trapped due to greed and always feel bad about him, my mother was illiterate and did not have much opinion on anything. It was full of falsehood and cheating. I am very simple and minimalist persons, just after marriage wife and inlaws started torturing me to breakaway from my parents, being alone son and with the help of sisters managed parents with lot of difficulties but thought time will heal. I was thinking of separation just after 6 months but somehow was in difficult shape, couldn't ask. Meanwhile Father in law died and i thought it's inhuman to give separation at this critical time and accepted my destiny, My wife was very clever and managed balanced relation till her brother and sister got settled and we decided to welcome kids and blessed with two sons but after all her responsibility over, she again showed same behavior rather more aggressive and color and i almost separated from parents. I am in Govt service and was threatened to file a false case, with all difficulties, managed with balancing, hiding something here and there. After the death of parents , things worsened and she is eying on all property of inheritance to be sold . I don't trust her at all , I want to give all to my sons and then quit. She always threatens , i want to be separated and live my old age peacefully alone without any property but all I want to give to my sons , not to her . Please suggest a way , I am afraid she can file a false domestic violence case or even to give me poison . I am very tense nowadays and my health is deteriorating.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Never live in fear because that can always be used by someone who is searching for an opportunity to meddle with your life.
Deal with this fear in two ways:
1. For fear of false case filing against you, kindly approach a lawyer who will guide you on how to protect your assets
2. For fear of the way your life is moving about in an unsettling manner, do work on it rather than fear it
- Separation or not, will have to be decided by you and your wife and make it as amicable as possible...
- If there are chances of reconciliation, do lay down some ground rules for both of you which includes deeper level of communication, deeper listening, trust building...

Most relationships sour over a period of time, because 'taking for granted' seeps in, there are unrealistic expectations for one another, children become an excuse for not spending enough time each other, family members somehow get into the equation which allows little room for the couple to understand one another...
the list goes on...
It simply means: Marriage is something that needs constant working on...it requires time, energy and effort...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am , I am 35 + yr and married. We have been married for almost 3 yrs now and we do not have any kids . My wife she was my GF and we had a relationship of almost 6 yrs before we got married. In this 6 yrs we broke up and then we patched up as well. Almost around the time we were supposed to get married,I knew that she was not right for me as I am very emotional,and seek someone who understands me. She is clearly not an emotional person and she is very mean and rude. Somehow I got convinced to get married to her.Now she is completely an unmanageable person.She says things I cannot bear at all and I see that these things come from her family as her mother never respected her father and it's an absolute chao in her family with sister behaving 10 times more worse with her parents. Right from starting of the marriage I knew that this would not work and anyhow we went on and on and now we purchased a property as well on both our names. The problem is she humiliates me like nothing and she does not trust me at all. From my side there is no love remaining towards her and everything single time I just think of separation. I lost both my parents and I have an elder brother who is also dependent on me. He stays apart from me. Now if I get separated then how can manage the property which we both together and also I will be absolutely alone. Deep down I am not happy at all. Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is no scope for reconciliation, what other way out do you have?
Separation maybe hard initially but at least you are not dealing with something on your face on a daily basis. Now, what happens to the property in the event of separation will be determined as to in whose name the property was registered. Of course, this is my understanding. You may want to speak with someone who has knowledge about the legal angle on this.
If you are not happy, then do and act accordingly so that you are moving into a happy zone and in no means what is happening is happy. So, ACT NOW...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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